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Time Well Spent

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Armin Arlert is such an amazing person.

At least that’s what I think. No, it’s what I know. He is the most beautiful person I have ever had the chance to lay my eyes on. His gorgeous blonde hair, with it’s unique haircut that rests just at his chin is so different. He hates it but I love it. He doesn’t look like other people. And that’s okay. I don’t want other people. I just want him; all of him. I could look into his eyes and get lost in them for days, no, weeks! No, months! No, I could look at them for years and years on end until they become centuries. They are the same color as the ocean. It’s one of my favorite places I like to go to on the school breaks. Another thing that Armin hates is his skin. He finds it too pale for his liking but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

His dainty figure is similar to that of a female’s, but he makes it work. He has curves that males shouldn’t have but it only excites me. It makes me want to touch him in the most innocent ways. A simple high-five sends shivers down my spine while it only makes his palm red and his face a light pink.

Oh, his face.

Sometimes when we were younger I would tickle him but he wouldn’t laugh. Oh no my little Minnie doesn’t laugh when he’s tickled. He scrunches his face in the cutest little way that makes my stomach fill with butterflies. His cheeks are pudgy but not incredibly fat. Armin cares about dental hygiene so his teeth are a sparkling white that rest on nice pink gums. I’d do anything to make him smile. It sends me head over heels every time I get the chance to see it.

I know that Armin loves me but I’m not sure if he loves me. We’ve been best friends since we were kids but I’m not sure if he would ever kiss me. I don’t need that though. Just being with Armin makes me ecstatic. His presence is something that I look forward to everyday.

When he’s absent from school and doesn’t answer the phone when I call him my heart beats rapidly. I get so worried about him.

Sometimes I wonder if he hates it when I worry about him. I don’t try to baby him or treat him like a child when it comes to these sort of things but I can’t help it. When Armin cries I hold in my tears. I want to seem strong to him, I want to be strong for him. After letting him cry on my shoulder for an hour or however long he lets it out, I leave. And when I leave I cry.

I cry because I want to help him more, I want to be able to make him feel better, I want to make my little Minnie smile. I want to see him at his best. If Armin was ever in a situation that caused him pain or danger I would be by his side in an instant. I hope Armin sees me as that shoulder he can cry on, I have the arms that can hold him until his tears go away, the person that can be there for him.

I love Armin with all of my heart. I want Armin with all my heart.

So why can’t I tell him?

It’s not like he’s a mean person or anything. I’m sure that if I asked him to be mine and he rejected me that it would be in the nicest way possible. Armin is not rude or mean in any way. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and if he did he would probably feel bad about it later.

I don’t just love Armin’s personality or his habits. I love his body.

I want it.

His thighs are so damn delectable and he doesn’t even know it. I want to have them wrapped around my waist plunging deeper and deeper into him. I wonder what kind of noises he would make if want actually did it.

Sometimes I wonder if he would be simple and quiet chanting faint Oh, oh, ohs to me.

Maybe Armin would be loud. I wouldn’t mind that, I would love to hear the noises he’d make. Maybe he would beg me. Asking me for more, to go faster, harder. I’d follow his instructions without question going faster and harder. Or he might be silent and when he comes to his climax scream out, “Eren!”. Ooh, my god I want to fuck Armin so bad sometimes.

I know that he doesn’t like that word though. He refers to sex between two people as making love. It’s so fascinating at how he sees some of the most vulgar things. I want to touch Armin. I want to make him feel good. I want to make him scream.

But would he let me?

That’s something I have to ask myself everyday. Would Armin really let me be with him? Would he let me call him mine? Would he let me love him? All I want is to love him more and more everyday. I don’t know if that’s possible though. I feel as though I’ve reached the capacity of love when it comes to Armin Arlert.

I’ve loved him for such a long time. However, if there’s one thing I know about the time I’ve loved him it’s that it’s been time well spent.