He no longer counted the minutes he had been lying there, in the grass, looking up at the stars. Up in the ark they were just part of the background, of the deep darkness continuously swallowing their broken home, but here, on the ground, there was something mysterious about them, as if they held some kind of secret they were only ready to reveal once the sun had gone to sleep.
It had become so kind of a ritual for him, to lie there and allow himself a moment to remember her, so she was never completely gone. Tonight it was the memory of their last moment together that haunted him...
The 47 broken souls were scattered around the fire, some of them drowning their shock in moonshine and others gazing at the flames, still stuck in the memories of the hell they had just been thru. Bellamy was sitting in the shadow of a tree, holding a cup of untouched moonshine, unable to look at the faces of the people he had just murdered hundreds of innocents for. It was the sound of someone walking past him that made him look up from the ground. It was Clarke, she had left her seat and was now walking toward the dark woods. Automatically, Bellamy got up to follow her, his instinct to protect his partner stronger than his need to grief.
She was standing her back to him, in a little clearing staring up at the sky, her hair dancing with the wind.
Bellamy joined her side and silently stared at her eyes instead of the stars, to him, they were just as beautiful, even with all the pain they held.
-You're going to get cold out here. He whispered.
She hadn't brought her coat and her pale shoulders were naked, reflecting the light of the moon. The chilly wind didn't seem to bother her even thought she had goose bumps all over her skin.
-It feels good. she answered. To feel something. She silently added.
Bellamy felt a twist in his stomach hearing her words, her knew exactly how she felt; being stuck in a state of complete numbness as if your heart had been drained of all its emotion, it felt like death.
He instinctively laced his fingers with hers. She turned her gaze to him and tightened her grip.
-I'm leaving. she said.
Pain. Pain was everywhere, it was spreading all over his heart at the sound of those words but it was also in every syllable than came out of her mouth.
-Listen Clarke, he answered, If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven. Please just wait, you'll see, everything will get better, we'll work thru this... together.
Clarke didn't seem to believe him, hell, he wasn't sure he believed it either he was just desperate to keep her safe here, with him.
-...Seeing their faces everyday is just going to make me remember what I did to get them here. She firmly said.
-What we did! You... you don't have to do this alone!
-I..I bare it so they don't have to.. She whispered.
Then, she looked up at Bellamy, tears raining down her eyes with a look of despair.
-You will take care of them for me won't you Bellamy?
He could no longer listen to her distressing words and did the only thing his heart told him to do.
He seized her cold shoulders and kissed her.
She thought the coldness of the wind was the only thing her numb body would be able to feel but this fire, spreading from his burning skin was enveloping her very nerves as if it was what her body had been longing for all this time.
Their kiss deepened and soon they both sank into the oblivion of their passion.
They lied down on the crispy grass and his every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance brought Clarke's body to life again.
Before they even had the time to realise the meaning of their actions, they were both naked connecting their broken bodies in a tangled mess.
She looked straight into his dark eyes, feeling her world explode as his hand were traveling down her body to finally reach their destination.
Her back curved as he started deepening his touch. She cried out as her body felt emotions she never knew existed.
Bellamy had done all those things with other girls before but never this way, never with this much passion and raw emotion. It never felt so good to hear the sound of pleasure he was causing then it had felt now with Clarke.
They spent the rest of the night there, in the wild forest, exploring each other's body and soul and discovering for the first time what it really meant to make love.
It was early morning when Bellamy woke up, alone. It was then that he remembered what had first seemed like a dream; Clarke soft lips kissing his forehead as she whispered ''May we meet again'', and left.