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Where was he? Not in their room, not in the kitchen, and not in the gym.

“Argh, JARVIS! Where is Steve? I want to strangle him, I want to wrap my hands around that God damned perfect neck of his and squeeze. JARVIS!” Tony Stark, billionaire philanthropist whined as he stomped out of the gym, where he had just been looking for his wayward lover.

“He is down in the laundry, Sir.” JARVIS replied, and Tony froze mid step to stare incredulously at the ceiling.

“In the laundr-again? That’s the fourth time in as many days! Just what the hell does he do down there?” Tony asked himself as he stalked his way down to the seldom used laundry room. Well, seldom used by him but apparently very popular with Steve.

“A laundry is usually where one goes to wash their clothing, Sir.” JARVIS stated, sounding entirely too dry for Tony’s liking.

“I know what a laundry is for smartass, I want to know what he does down there!” Tony snapped, shoving open a door.

“I believe he uses the room for its intended use Sir, to wash his clothing.” Was JARVIS’ retort. Tony paused in the hallway, before glaring at the wall to his left.

“Did you just give me sass?” He asked the wall. “You just gave me sass, that’s it, I am so installing you into Thor’s toaster when I’m finished hiding Capsicles body.” Tony said, brow twitching. There was silence from the hall and Tony nodded, satisfied that his threat had been taken into account before continuing on his journey to the laundry.

“Argh, why do I even have a laundry? I have housekeepers that are paid to take my clothes to respectable dry cleaners; I don’t even need a damned washing machine.” Tony mumbled, descending a narrow flight of stairs that would lead down into the laundry room. “On that note, how did he even find the damn thing in the first place?” Tony continued, absently pushing open the door to the laundry, only to freeze mid-step at what greeted him on the other side of the door.

“Oh Tony, hey. I was just finishing up down here.” Steve Rogers said while leaning down to shove a pair of jeans into the mostly loaded washing machine. Tony stared as the blond closed the round door and stood to fiddle with the dials on the side before pushing the start button. The washing machine whirred to life, clothes beginning to tumble around inside as the machine filled with water. He shook his head.

“Uh, Steve, babe? What the hell are you doing?” He asked, a little wide eyed. Steve turned away from the whirring washing machine and frowned quizzically at him.

“I’m…doing my laundry?” He asked, confused as he stared at Tony, who was still staring at the washing machine. The reply snapped Tony out of his incredulous daze and raised his gaze to meet confused blue.

“Why are you doing your laundry?” He asked, which only seemed to confuse the blond Super Soldier even more. Steve shifted from foot to foot, eyebrows drawn together in his confusion.

“Because…my clothes are dirty, and unlike you I don’t have twenty fully stocked walk in closets?” He replied, one blond brow rising slightly higher than the other. Tony snorted and folded his arms, leaning on one hip.

“You do realize the housekeepers can do that for you, right? They do mine, and Thor’s, and Clint’s, and Natasha’s, hell even Bruce’s, when he has clothes that aren’t, you know-” He flicks his hands, mimicking a small explosion. “-in pieces.” Steve stared at him oddly, and Tony stared right back.

“…I prefer to do my own washing…” Steve said, jerking a thumb at the empty clothes basket by the rumbling washing machine. Tony’s mouth threatened to drop open in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious?” He asked, incredulous. Steve snorted, leaning a jean clad hip on the washing machine.

“I’ve always done my own washing. And cooking, and cleaning, and-” Tony spluttered as Steve continued to tick off his fingers.

“You’re a super hero! Not a super house wife!” He really, really could not wrap his head around this, and he was a damn genius for God’s sake. Steve shrugged.

“I just prefer to do these sorts of things myself, I don’t know why…I guess it’s just relaxing, something normal in my very not-normal life. You know what I mean?” He asked, big blue eyes staring at him in such a damn innocent way. Tony stared right back and said;

“Fuck no, I have absolutely no idea what you mean.” He entered the laundry properly and moved to stand directly in front of Steve, before turning and squatting, watching the clothes inside the washing machine tumble around and around. He frowned at all of the dials and buttons, hazel eyes flicking over the blinking green numbers on the display. “I don’t know what half of this even means. Gentle Wash? Quick Spin? Express Wash? How many buttons do you need to do one thing?” He asked, curious and confused as he poked at the buttons, ignoring the amused stare Steve was direction down at him. “I am so going to design a better one of these things, you know, with one button, not thirty-h-hey!” Tony yelped as strong, warm hands grabbed his hips, lifting him up with ease before turning him around and depositing him on the washing machine, which had shut off after he’d pushed about ten different buttons in his exploration.

Steve was watching him, eyes alight with amusement. “It’s just a washing machine, Tony, it washes clothes, really not that hard to understand, and coming from me? That’s saying something.” He said, looking far too amused for Tony’s liking.

“This hunk of junk is probably as old as you are, Mr 40’s, and I plan to rectify that as soon as possible, by hocking it in the trash.” Tony ranted, really not liking the fact he had an old washing machine in the same house as his state of the art armour. Steve snorted, moving into his personal space, and Tony’s thighs spread slightly to allow the blond in close. Steve raised a brow.

“You’re only saying that because it’s probably out dated in that head of yours. Gosh Tony, are you gonna hock me in the trash too?” He asked, face twisting in mock horror. Tony stared, before rolling his eyes.

“Oh yeah, definitely. I’m gonna trade you in for a more up-to-date model. I hear those mail order boyfriends do come highly reco-mphf!” Tony remembered telling Steve once, that the best way to shut up him was to kiss him, and in hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have said it in the first place, because he enjoyed running off at the mouth, but then again, he also enjoyed it when Steve thought he needed shutting up, because by God, could Captain America kiss. Who would have thought? When Steve pulled back, Tony stamped down on the urge to chase those damn kissable lips and instead leaned back to level the blond with his best stink eye.

“You did that on purp-mphf!” He was cut off once again, this time by a quick, chaste kiss that really had no business turning his mind to putty. He shook his head slightly and glared. “You should really not-mphf! Ok seriously sto-mphf! Steve!” The offending blond smirked at him, actually smirked. “Oh damn, that should not be so ho-mphf. I was trying to pay you a compli-no no no.” Tony leaned back pushing against Steve’s chest to keep the man away. “No, enough, you do not get to do that.” He sputtered, and Steve’s smirk widened.

“Why not? It works, and I can’t help it, you make it so easy.” Steve said, hands gripping his thighs as he pushed forward against Tony’s hands, leaning in again. Tony leaned back further.

“You’re calling me easy, Captain-Horn Dog? Well if the pot isn't calling the kettle back!” He exclaimed, highly unimpressed with the innocent look that was being sent his way. He really was a damned horn-dog. He didn’t know why the world thought Captain America was some sort of virgin saint, because honestly, he was still human, a young chemically enhanced male with more hormones then a damn teenager. Who knew the Super Soldier Serum did more than just enhance his physic? Captain America, legend, war hero, national icon, The Man With The Plan, the man with the raging sex drive. Tony was hard pressed keeping up half the time, and that was more than slightly crazy.

Steve hummed in thought. “Well…” Tony whacked him over the head, earning a chuckle. “No, you’re never easy, Tony.” He amended, and Tony was most definitely not buying it, because the hands creeping up his hips were most definitely not subtle.

“Christ Steve, you’re incorrigible. I’m a good influence.” Tony said, grinning smugly. Steve snorted and pushed forward, catching Tony’s lips with his own. Tony signed happily into the kiss, moving his hands from Steve’s chest to the back of his neck, pulling him in further, deepening the kiss with a groan. Steve’s thumbs rubbed small circles into Tony’s hips before slipping under his shirt, fingers tracing feather light over his sides, causing a shiver to run up his spine. Tony responded by hooking his legs around Steve’s waist, pulling him in as close as the washing machine would allow, and both of them groaned as their cocks met through the fabric of their pants. Tony rocked his hips into Steve’s, smirking at discovering Steve more than half hard in his jeans.

“Tony.” Steve breathed against his lips, and the billionaire’s smirk widened as he removed his hands from Steve’s heated skin to hook his fingers under the fabric of his shirt. Steve lifted his arms and Tony lifted the shirt off easily, tossing it carelessly to the side before surging back in, hands roaming over the firm muscles of Steve’s now bare chest as the blond tugged at his shirt. Tony stripped out of his own shirt and dove back in for another kiss, hands tangling in short blond strands as Steve’s tongue licked his mouth open before diving in.

Tony groaned into the kiss as strong hands grabbed his hips, jerking him forward until he was all but plastered to Steve’s front. He removed his hands from surprisingly soft blond hair to trail down a firm chest, fingers ghosting over the bumps of Steve’s abs before they reached their destination. Steve laughed lightly into the kiss as Tony pawed at his belt, fingers trying to unbuckle it with little success with their bodies pressed together. Tony broke the kiss to lean back, giving his hands room to work as he quickly undid and removed the annoying belt, tossing that as well before flicking open the button and zipper.

Warm hands gripped either side of Tony’s neck gently, tilting his head slightly to the side as Steve slipped in closer, lips brushing lightly for a moment.

“Not here, bedroom.” Steve breathed against his lips, and Tony turned the thought over in his mind. That meant moving, that meant waiting.

'Feh, to hell with that.' Tony thought, before promptly sticking his hand in Steve’s pants, gripping him firmly and causing a startled groan to escape the blond’s lips. “Here is fine, here is good.” Tony purred, coaxing Steve’s cock out of its confinement. Steve tilted forward, pressing his face into the side of Tony’s neck, muffling a moan against his skin. “Here is very good.” Tony muttered into Steve’s hair, stroking him slowly.

“Tony.” Steve groaned, lips latching onto the junction between Tony’s neck and shoulder. Tony hummed in response, using his free hand to undo his own jeans, easing his own erection out into open air to relieve some of the pressure. Steve’s breath ghosted along his neck as the blond removed his face from his shoulder to trace his lips up along the curve of his neck, up and along the edge of his jaw before finding his lips and Tony returned the slow kiss for all of a second before pressing forward, deepening it into something a little more enthusiastic. Steve groaned into his mouth and Tony sped up the motion of his hand, enjoying the shudder that wracked Steve’s form as he continued to work the blond’s shaft, curling his tongue around Steve’s, stroking it in time with the motion of his hand.

Steve made an odd sound in the back of his throat, sort of a cross between a whimper and a growl and before Tony could realize the implications his hand was being smacked away and his jeans were being yanked off. The fabric gave a token protest at the harsh treatment, and Tony spared a thought to the seams possibly tearing before quickly leaning back to kick them the rest of the way off. Steve crowded back in, pushing Tony further down until his back was almost flat against the still surface of the washing machine, lowering his head to trail a wet line from the elastic of his briefs to the sensitive flesh around the arc reactor in his chest, the steady blue glow lighting up the side of his angular face, throwing his lust darkened eyes into sharp relief. Tony groaned at the sight and almost dropped back onto the washing machine completely, his elbows the only thing holding him relatively upright.

“Fu~ck.” Tony moaned as Steve’s tongue moved on from the reactor to his nipple instead, sucking the hardening flesh into his mouth, where teeth grazed across the sensitive nub, the sudden spike of pleasure making Tony jerk slightly. Quick, warm hands slid up along his spread thighs to grip the edges of his plain black briefs, and Tony automatically lifted his hips as they were pulled off to be tossed in another random direction.

Steve straightened from Tony’s body and set to work on removing his own jeans, dark eyes taking in the sight of Tony practically sprawled on top of the washing machine, legs spread and hooked around his waist. He reached into his back pocket, withdrawing a small bottle of lube that he had learned to always have on his person when in the tower with Tony. He placed it on the washing machine beside Tony’s hip and shimmied out of his jeans, which he kicked off and onto the floor with a faint shuffle of. He settled his hands on the curve of Tony’s knees and leaned back down to press a light kiss to the centre of the arc reactor before his hands slipped higher, gripping narrow hips that he promptly yanked towards him until only Tony’s back touched the washing machine, leaving his ass to hang in the air between them and forcing his legs to wrap tighter around his own hips.

“Whoa, Steve, warn a guy.” Tony yelped, having flailed slightly as he was yanked nearly completely off the washing machine. Steve grinned down at him and leaned in to capture his lips again.

“What’s the matter, don’t you trust me?” He asked, smiling against Tony’s lips. His response was a snort.

“When you get into one of your kinky moods? Yeah I trust you, I trust you to completely blow my mind and flip America’s image of your supposed virtue the bi-h~oly shit.” Tony trailed off with a moan, and Steve smirked as his gripped the other males cock a little tighter, stroking it slowly just to watch Tony’s body shudder and writhe. “You’re a damn t-tease.” Tony growled, bucking into his hand. Steve laughed, using his free hand to grab the bottle of lube which was miraculously where he left it by Tony’s hip. He managed, with some difficulty to pop the cap and slick three of his fingers one handed, his other hand still stroking Tony and effectively distracting him.

“How is this kinky?” He asked, just to keep Tony distracted for a little longer. The brunette snorted.

“How is this- Really? Steve, you’re about to fuck me on a damned washing machine in a laundry I completely forgot I had, how is this not kin-oh f~uck!” Steve chuckled as he crooked the finger he had slipped inside Tony, and watched the instant reaction it caused. Tony shuddered and jerked, moaning breathily as he worked his shaft in time with his finger.

“Have I ever told you that you talk too much?” He asked, amused. Tony lifted himself up on his elbows to level him with a wide eyed stare.

“Many, many times, now you stop talking and start fucking before I do it for you.” He all but growled, and Steve chuckled outright as he slipped in a second finger, which seemed to appease Tony, who dropped his head back with a groan, and Steve swallowed thickly at the image Tony presented, sprawled on the washing machine with his head hanging back between his shoulders, the smooth expanse of his throat on full display, just begging for Steve to sink his teeth in. He shifted forward, fully intent on doing just that, only to pause as a loud beep sounded directly under Tony, who lifted his head up in confusion. “What was that?” He asked, and Steve tilted back slightly to see that his knee had hit the Express Wash button on the washing machine.

A truly evil thought popped into his head; causing a dark smirk to slip onto his lips as he levelled Tony with a look that actually had the other man paling slightly.
“What…what is that look? Steve? Steve what are you going to do?” Tony asked, sounding slightly panicked, and Steve grinned, all perfect white teeth before removing his hand from Tony’s cock to grab his hip instead and, using his hand to direct and his own hips to push, he shoved Tony’s ass back onto the washing machine, fingers still deep inside Tony’s entrance. “Steve? Steve, what are you doing?” Tony repeated, but Steve ignored him in favour of knocking his knee onto the Start button. He smirked down at the other Avenger and shifted his grip on his hip just as the washing machine whirred to life, the solid metal under Tony’s body beginning to vibrate slightly. Tony’s eyes widened in shock as he squirmed against him. “What is that?” He asked, glancing at the washing machine under him. “Steve, seriously, what is-oooh.” Tony moaned as the washing machine suddenly kicked into full gear, the Express Wash setting causing it to spin a helluva lot faster than normal, which sent a lot more vibration up and through Tony, and coincidently, Steve’s fingers, which were buried to the knuckle inside his sensitive ass.

Steve smirked before slowly withdrawing his fingers, sliding them back in just as slowly. He could feel how much his hand was vibrating, and he could hazard a guess at how well Tony could also feel it.

“Jesus Christ, fu~ck.” Tony moaned, voice actually vibrating with the power of the washing machine, shifting his hips and forcing himself down onto Steve’s hand, driving his fingers deeper. Steve watched, fascinated as Tony shuddered and moaned, wriggling on top of the washing machine, hands gripping the edges so hard his knuckles were white.
“Feel good?” He asked, amused as Tony moaned lewdly in response.

“I fucking…Oh…love…this ngh thing!” Tony groaned out, dropping flat onto his back, and Steve could feel the muscles in his thighs twitching around his waist.
“Sounds like I’ve been replaced.” Steve purred, leaning forward to kiss the jumping muscles in Tony’s stomach, still working his fingers in a steady rhythm. Tony opened his mouth to retort –probably to agree- but was cut off when the washing machine suddenly jerked and began whirring faster, kicking into overdrive, and the only sound that came out of his mouth was a choked off gurgle of appreciation.

Tony shuddered and moaned, the vibration tickling along the nerves of his back and, more importantly his ass. Who knew you could substitute a Vibrator for a washing machine? Seriously, he was so keeping this damn thing. “Oh fucking god yes.” Tony groaned, thrusting down onto Steve’s gloriously vibrating fingers. It felt so good, anything that felt this good would probably kill him in the long run, but hell he didn’t care because right now it was amazing and holy shit, how much better would it be with Steve’s cock inside him instead of just his fingers? “S-Steve.” His voice came out odd with the vibration, but he ignored it in favour of more urgent matters.

“Hmm?” Steve asked, sounding far too innocent for a guy who was currently getting his boyfriend off with a fucking washing machine. Tony clenched his eyes shut as he fought for words that didn’t sound along the lines of ‘fuck yes this feels so good I could die happy right now.’

“In me, now, fuck!” He managed, barely, half choking. Steve’s eyes were so dark the blue almost looked black, and Tony realized with a jolt that Steve had had a very good idea what this would do, and he was enjoying it, almost as much as Tony if he had to guess from the look he was currently sporting. Steve didn’t respond verbally, but he did slip in a third finger –finally!- and that by itself brought on a whole new sensation of –fucking fuck!- pleasure, and the steady, rocking vibration of the washing machine seemed to double with the stretch, and he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from coming right then.

“In a minute.” Steve said serenely, and Tony opened his eyes –when had he closed them?- to gawk at the blond. In a minute? What the hell was wrong with him? Wait, verbalize that thought.

“What the hell is wrong with you Rogers? Get inside me, now, before I die! Please!” Tony begged and fuck, yes he was begging, and oh God did Steve just growl? The fingers were gone so fast Tony only had a split second to feel empty before Steve rammed into him, hard. “Fuck!” Tony shouted, falling back onto the washing machine with a loud thud. Steve groaned loudly in his ear, and it took his sizzling brain a second longer than it should have to realize that Steve was draped over him with his hands clenching Tony’s hips hard enough there were going to be bruises in a few hours.

“Holy shit.” Steve ground out, twitching over him and Tony grinned as he realized the whole vibrating-washing machine plan had backfired.

“Good, isn’t it?” He asked, still grinning. Steve jerked atop him and Tony only had a second to grab onto something before the blond withdrew until only the head of his cock remained inside before slamming back in with enough force to make the washing machine squeak in protest. Tony cried out in shock and pleasure, hands scrabbling to hold onto something sturdy as Steve continued to move, withdrawing almost painfully slow only to slam back in as deep as he could. His hands eventually found Steve’s shoulders, and he clung on for dear life as his brain threatened to overload with pleasure. Each thrust inside him sent spasms of pleasure along his nerve endings, the vibration of the washing machine doubling the effect even when Steve was almost completely out.

“Christ.” Steve growled, panting hard, and holy shit if that wasn’t something you didn’t see every day. Tony moaned lewdly under him, playing the part of seriously turned on octopus with the way his arms and legs clung to Steve’s bulk as he moved. “This is ngh…Too m-much.” Steve choked, and Tony could only spasm oddly in response, the back of his head thudding against the washing machine as his back arched, which incidentally pushed his ass harder onto the washing machine, somehow managing to increase the vibration.

“S-SteveStevefuckyes!SteveSteve.” Tony babbled under him, eyes clenched shut and face flushed, sweat trickling down the line of his throat. Steve groaned loudly and dropped down to press a sloppy kiss to Tony lips, both too wired and crazy to turn it into much more than a wet slide of lips and tongue. The washing machine squeaked oddly under them, but both ignored it, pace increasing. Tony moaned with each thrust, and Steve shuddered and growled every time Tony managed to meet his hips with his own, back arching neatly and legs clamping surprisingly hard around his waist.

“Ngh, Tony.” Steve breathed out. Tony was too busy undulating against him, hands clamped over his shoulders and moaning loudly, had this been any other situation, Steve would have blushed horribly at the sounds Tony was making, because this topped everything, hands down. Fuck.

Tony shuddered violently and threw his head back into the washing machine again, thrusting upwards into Steve’s own thrusts urgently. He was so close, so god damned close. He was going to be sore later, hell he wouldn’t even be able to walk after this but fuck, it was so worth it. Steve’s hips jerked, his thrusts faltering slightly and Tony choked, back arching almost completely off the washing machine as he came, untouched and harder than he thought possible, coating his and Steve’s stomach with his release as he fell back onto the washing machine with a thud, breath whooshing from his lungs in a long, low moan of satisfaction.

Steve gasped as Tony tightened around him, and his hips jerked spasmodically before his release was ripped from him and he came long and hard inside Tony’s twitching body, chest rumbling in a low growl as he continued to thrust through his climax, face pressed into the sweaty flesh of Tony’s neck. He slowed his thrusting to a standstill after a moment and simply stood there, still balls deep inside the panting billionaire, as he fought to regain his own breath, muscles twitching as he descending from post coital bliss, giving soft grunts as Tony occasionally jerked under him, the washing machine’s vibration still stimulating Tony’s over sensitized body.

Having mercy on his twitching lover, Steve gently pulled out of Tony’s body and gathered the dazed male into his arms, lifting him off of the whirring machine to stumble back a few steps until his back met the soft blue painted wall, where he proceeded to slide slowly to the floor, resting Tony in his lap, trembling body pressed in close to his chest. The arc reactor was surpassingly warm against the bare skin of his chest, and he could feel the slight hum of energy it gave off against his flesh.

“What brand is that blessed machine?” Steve almost jumped as Tony slowly lifted his face from where it had been pressed into Steve’s throat, and he glanced at the washing machine in question before giving a startled snort.

“StarkTech.” He stated simply, and he felt Tony go even more boneless in his arms, either with shock or something he wasn’t sure.

“Oh my fucking gawd.” Tony whined as he dropped his head back into the junction of Steve’s neck and shoulder. “We just got off on something designed by Howard. Fucking kill me now Steve, please.” Tony weedled into his skin, and Steve glanced at the washing machine again before rolling his eyes and grinning down at the bare, sweaty flesh of Tony’s shoulder.

“Never.” He stated, before leaning down to press a light kiss in Tony’s ruffled hair. Tony raised a hand and smacked him weakly on the thigh.

“Heartless, kinky bastard.” He grumbled, and Steve chuckled.

“You love me.” He said simply, and Tony snorted against his neck.

“Too right, my sexy Star Spangled Man.” He purred, nuzzling into Steve’s embrace, and Steve smiled.

In the background, the old washing machine gave a cheery beep as it finished its cycle, and Tony flipped it the bird over his shoulder…

*END