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There's Two Kinds of Trouble

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It was a stupid idea. Okay it was a really stupid idea. But for the record, it almost worked. It would have worked if the campus security guy hadn’t shown up though.

Mick Mundy. 

What a name. His parents must have hated him. Except that he had like five pictures of them tacked up behind his desk in his office. His desk itself was already a mess of student files and forms with illegible scribbling on them. The black file cabinet in the corner had an X-Files poster taped to the side that read, “Trust No One”. He was new, just started after the old geezer who used to be in charge was let go for ‘questionable mental stability’. James and his friends liked to say that it was him who drove that guy insane. But this guy? Man, where to even start? 

Supposedly he’d come here from Australia. It had taken all of half a day for him to earn the obvious nickname of 'Crocodile Mundy’. He even wore a cowboy hat to and from work. What a weirdo. 

James leaned back until the chair he was in tipped onto its back legs, blowing bubbles with his gum. He popped each one as loud as he could, and he swore he saw the officer flinch just a bit every time. Bright late summer light cut in through the closed slats in the blinds that offered privacy over a window overlooking the courtyard. On one hand, probably a good idea since the thing was almost the full length of the far wall. On the other, James was missing the view; half the cheerleading squad was out there playing frisbee. 

Mundy hadn’t said much after dragging him here; he was busy looking through James’ record. James prefered to refer to it as his porfolio, thanks very much. He watched as the perpetual frown on the older man’s face keep dipping lower, and he was wondering if it would ever stop. He kept that up he was going to end up like that old dog on the third floor of his ma’s apartment back in Boston. What the hell was it called? Flopsey? Basset hound. Nice dog, but lazy as frick and more skin than body. 

Come to think of it, James hadn’t gotten a real good look at the guy just yet. It was only the third day of classes; give him a break. Mundy had a kind of scruffy look to him, despite it being clear he’d shaved that day. He made everything about the job look casual. Top few buttons on his black uniform shirt undone, roughed-up cowboy boots made of - holy shit was that crocodile skin? This guy was a piece of work. And yet… 

Don’t get the wrong impression, James liked girls. But some guys weren’t too bad either. Keep your options open, right? As soon as Officer Mundy set his file down and pulled off those oversized sunglasses, James knew he was in trouble, and not the kind of trouble he was brought in here for. 

“Well you’ve got quite a history here, kid,” he said. Shit, but that voice almost made James shiver. Kind of gravelly, but real deep and manly, and you couldn’t miss that accent if you tried. 

Keep cool, man. James gave him his sharpest grin as he let his chair fall back on all four legs. He leaned forward to the edge of Mundy’s desk. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, crocodile man." 

A single dark eyebrow quirked up him, but otherwise there was no reaction on his long face. Too long to be handsome, but it kinda was somehow. "Right. Ya think you’re real smart, don’t ya, mate?" 

Mate? Was this guy for real? James snorted but bit his lower lip to keep from laughing outright. 

"You see a new officer and suddenly ya think you’ve got it made in the shade. Well I got news for you, ya bloody ankle-biter, I ain’t a pushover." 

Sharp bluish-green eyes watched James like some bird of prey until the tips of his ears started to feel hot. A roll of his eyes served to both break the unnerving gaze and send a dismissive message. 

"Yeah okay, that’s great,” James drawled. “Look pal, I know the drill. So what’s it gonna be this time? Hopefully you’re more creative than our last guy 'cause man was he boring!" 

Mundy’s expression darkened, the lines in his face collecting shadows like a dip in the pavement collects the rain. "Ya keep this up, ya little wanker, and I might just see how the Dean feels about sending ya home. For good." 


The Dean scared him, to be honest. Not much did, but man that old hag sent chills down his spine. She was a piece of work, always wearing too much makeup and smoking more cigarettes than even the French guy who headed up the foreign language department - and that was hard to beat. 

His ma had been so happy to see him go to college. Not one of his seven older brothers had. Now with just one more year to go, this guy was going to try to screw that up? Maybe he was bluffing, maybe the Dean would shrug it off. But his heart was racing, and he couldn’t stand it. 

"What the fuck, man?” James blurted out. “That’s bullshit! Ya can’t expel me, I’m almost done!" 

"Nah mate, I can’t. But your record presented in the right light might give the Dean some pause." 

James gave a violent shake of his head. "No way. You’re bluffing. Why do you ever care? It was just for fun." 

"Pretending to be part of campus maintenance to trick the first year girls to let you in come 'repair’ the showers?” Mundy asked, a distinictly unamused lilt in his tone. 

“Awe c'mon man! Tell me ya didn’t do stuff like that too? Ya can remember that far back, can’t ya?”   

“I’m thirty-two, ya little hoon!" 

"Yeah, well I’m twenty-three so quit callin’ me 'little’ and 'kid’ and whatever the fuck a hoon’s supposed to be cause I’m bettin’ it ain’t a compliment!” James hadn’t noticed he’d gotten to his feet until he stopped shouting. Heat gathered in his cheeks and he sat back down with his mouth clamped shut. How was this guy getting under his skin so much? 

For a minute they just glared at each other. Garbled voices and loud clicks came through the communicator Mundy kept hitched to his belt a few times, but if they were for him he ignored them. The clock behind the officer crept closer to three forty-five. Great. His one class with that cute Asian girl and he was going to miss it on account of this jackass. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” James said at last. “What, do ya not like girls?" 

Mundy’s disposition changed in the time it took James’ smirk to widen, and now he had the upper hand. The Australian’s cheeks were flush, just red enough that he couldn’t hide it with the huge window to one side streaming so much light in.   

"We ain’t here to talk about me,” he managed, too little and far too late. 

“Yeah? What if I like that topic though?" 

Mundy was uncomfortable now. Actually he looked a bit like he wanted to run. His eyes wouldn’t meet James’ anymore, and he shriveled under his intent stare. 

"You like dudes, don’t ya?” James pressed, grinning wide enough that Mundy would be able to see every one of his pearly whites. “What about me, huh? Ya think I’m cute too, don’t ya?” He stood again, this time with his hands spread out on the surface of the desk so he could support himself when he leaned in closer. 

The more unsettled Mundy got, the more excited James got. Not that he wanted it reaching the ears of any girls, but he’d screwed around with guys before, and he liked it too. The older man with his tall, spindly frame and lean muscle hinted from the point where his sleeves stopped on his biceps downward was looking more like a good time by the minute. 

"That’s enough out of ya!” Mundy snapped, standing up fast enough that his wheeled chair shot out behind him and clacked against the wall. “This conduct is… that— Bloody hell, you’re going to see Helen!" 

Mundy’s hand reached for his phone and James panicked. Unthinking, he jumped towards the other man and grabbed his arm.   

"Please!” Damn it, he sounded so pathetic. 

The security officer just stared, a blustered blend of confusion, surprise, embarrassment, and anger. Not a one of those was easy to turn into something positive. 

James swallowed, and he could sort of envision his Adam’s apple roll down and up again. “I… please, man. I’m sorry, okay? Look I… I gotta finish this year, it’s… my ma’s really looking forward to it. She wants me to make somethin’ of myself and I… I gotta make her proud." 

His own voice was so soft to his ears, and fuck this was humiliating. He’d just shown this total stranger every card in his hand. Stupid. He could have blackmailed this guy, or just claimed he molested him or something and gotten him fired. Nope, instead he had to freak out and spill his guts. 

Mundy pulled his hand back and James let go. "Hey. All right, mate. I get it." 

Wait, what? He let his eyes slide back to the officer, curious. The man had softened, and instead of all those negative emotions there was a sort of sheepish understanding in its place. 

"Uh… thanks. I think." 

Mundy huffed. "Ya keep your mouth shut about that other thing though, ya hear?" 

James never did know when to leave well enough alone. "So, do you think I’m cute, Crocodile Mundy?” he cooed. 

The scowl was back and Mundy was stepping around his desk. He towered over James. The guy had to be over six feet, easy. He smelled kinda nice, too. Like Old Spice and leather and a hint of tobacco. 

“What?” He flashed an innocent smile up at him.   

“You’re on thin ice, ya hear me? Stop pushing your luck or I’ll–" 

"Push something on me?”   

Holy shit! Did he just say that out loud? What was the matter with him?   

Mundy just gawked at him in disbelief, but that was fine because James was watching his life flash before his eyes. He was screwed now. He’d almost gotten out of here, but no, he had to start hitting on the damn head of campus security.   

The really hot head of campus security. 

“If ya wanted to, ya could,” James dared. “Cause I think you’re pretty nice-looking yourself." 

He could see Mundy’s resolve chipping away. A glance down showed his pants were just a bit tighter. Large, rough hands curled and uncurled at the Australian’s sides. "Ya think I’m gonna risk my job for you?" 

"What risk? C'mon, you think I want everyone to know I swing both ways? This stays right…” And he took a step to close the distance between them as he did possibly the boldest thing he had ever done in his life. He reached down and pressed the palm of his hand against the bulge in Mundy’s pants. “…Here." 

The first kiss was sloppy and urgent. James barely saw it coming and it took him a few heartbeats to adjust. Much like the man himself, Mundy’s kisses were wild and unrefined. They were incredible. Tongues slid together, exploring each other’s mouths. James’ cursed overbite got in the way at least twice, clicking against the other man’s teeth, but he seemed to be unfazed. 

Calloused hands grabbed his Nike t-shirt and started pulling it up enough to get at his torso. The friction made James shudder as they explored his stomach and then up his chest and back. Each nerve the coarse fingers brushed against was set aflame and it sent sparks through his whole body. 

James tilted his head back and gasped. He hadn’t expected a nerdy guy like this to be so good but holy shit he was hard already. Anxious to relieve the pressure from his jeans, he reached down to start unbuttoning them. Mundy grabbed his wrists and spun him around so his butt bumped into the edge of the desk. No words were spoken, just a forceful glare when he placed James’ hands on the desk. The point was taken and he managed a numb nod.   

Satisfied with having subdued his prey - for that was what James was starting to feel like - Mundy undid Jame’s pants himself. "My office, my rules,” he said in a voice so much lower and huskier than before, and James almost moaned just from the sound of it. 

“That’s fair,” he breathed.

His shirt was pulled up over his head and tossed aside, then his boxers pushed down. Mundy swept his arm over the desk, creating a messy pile on one side to clear a space. James was about to get up himself when Mundy picked him up and set him down on it. Then his shoes were yanked off and his bottoms discarded too. 

"Yeah, you’re cute,” Mundy admitted as he looked him over. 

James felt his cheeks flush. Mundy was probably the best-looking guy he’d ever been with like this. 

But it just kept getting better. 

Licking his lips, the officer hoisted James’ legs up and had him rest them on his shoulders so that he could lean down and start sucking on the head of his cock without a second’s hesitation. James had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out. As he lavished him with his mouth he lifted another hand to press up against James’ lips. He took the hint and sucked on a couple fingers. After a moment the hand retreated and a single digit began teasing the puckered opening between his ass cheeks. 

“F-fuck! C'mon man don’t mess around, stick it in!” he whined. 

Mundy swallowed his cock a little deeper and hummed, and the finger pushed up inside him. James whimpered, reaching for something, anything. He ventured tangling a hand into the man’s short dark brown hair and was pleased not to be scolded. He raised his other arm up over his head, bent to grip the edge of the desk. 

“Add another!" 

The warm, wet heaven of Mundy’s mouth slid away and he chuckled. "Not your first time, is it?” And then James was undone by his smile. He had the most charming smile of anyone in the world. 

James had to put a lot of effort into keeping quiet while Mundy worked his opening and spoiled him with tongue and mouth. Locked doors were only so much privacy in the head office of campus security. The older man was too good at this. When he couldn’t contain himself anymore, he dared speak just enough ask, “Please… ya gotta do it. I’m going crazy!" 

Mundy slid his tongue down over the space between his balls and his hole and James almost yelped. Then lower still, until his tongue was right over his hole and damn it felt good. No guy had ever done this to him before. The fingers inside him slid out and were replaced by that tongue and James’ breath hitched. 

"H-holy shit man!” He rolled his head back against the desk, panting. “Oh my God, I’m losin’ my mind." 

He must have sounded pathetic enough, because Mundy stopped and rocked back on his heels before standing up. James lifted his head so he could watch the older man undo his pants and pull his erection free. He didn’t bother to undress but at this point James didn’t care. 

"Fuck, you’re big,” he said without shame, eyeing the long, thick length Mundy was working in his hands. 

He just smirked again, this time more devious than before, and spit in his hand to slick along his cock. He repeated that to get James’ ass wet, in case the rimming wasn’t enough, and positioned his cock over him. James nodded several times, anxious now, and Mundy began to push and guide his cock inside if him. 

“Oh fuck!” James started to cry out before covering his mouth and biting at his palm. 

It hurt a little going in, but it always did to start with. Being filled like that was such a strange but also incredible sensation, and by the time Mundy had worked himself in and out a few times, James was sweating and whining in pleasure.   

His unexpected partner kept his eyes on him the whole time, making sure he seemed comfortable as he picked up his pace, eventually hammering into him all the way to the hilt with every thrust and drag. A few times he pulled all the way out and would grin at the needy, pleading look James gave him before pistoning back in hard.   

With one arm tucked around James’ thigh and the other pumping his erection, Mundy went hard and fast until James was out of breath and coming all over himself. Moments after, the other man pulled out and worked himself through his own orgasm, adding his fluids to the sticky mess on James’ abdomen. He didn’t mind one bit. 

Once Mundy came down from his high, he looked a bit ashamed though. He cleared his throat and tucked himself back into his pants before grabbing a huge handful of tissues to try to clean James off with.   

“I… sorry,” he mumbled. 

“What… Why? Are you kidding? That was the best sex I’ve had in my life, man! Don’t say 'sorry’, say 'you’re welcome’!" 

Mundy looked unconvinced. "It’s… been a while.” He kept glancing away, making his cleaning job somewhat inneffectual, so James took the Kleenex from him. “Look this can’t get out, please–" 

"Hey! I said it wouldn’t. Relax, Crocodile Mundy.” But James’ grin fell with his playful spirit when he was met with a reproachful stare.   

James sighed, hurrying with his clothes. He gave a few careless swipes through his hair, nodding with approval as the dirty blonde bangs bounced once before falling into place. “Well, uh… thanks for goin’ easy on me, officer.” He bit off the temptation to add 'and then going harder on me’. “I’ll see ya around?" 

"I think ya should try avoidin’ security for a bit, mate." 

James just nodded, not sure why he felt so heavy-hearted.