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sweet promises in the curve of her lips

Chapter Text

“Stay with me, goddammit!”

“Are you kidding me? Jean, let me go!”

“And let you get killed? Not on your life.”

Hitch looked up to glare at the fair haired young man who had her in a steel grip, tucked under his arm like some sort of ball, only to pause and shrink back at the intense look he was giving her. He was entirely serious.

“I know you’re worried about the others but let them do their damn job,” he continued. “You’re gonna throw everyone off-course because you let your emotions get in the way. I told you about that.”

Ugh, again with the babying? Her retort was ready on her tongue, but she bites down on it as reality set in. He’s right. And she hated when he’s right.

But did he really have to carry her? Like this no less? It was embarrassing and all she could do was hang limply in his grip. They were soaring towards the end of the forest and should be within range of their horses soon. Jean’s focus remained forward, yet every time she wiggled to get more comfortable he only held tighter. She could feel his muscles clench and coil, unyielding against her weight it seemed, like she weighed nothing. Her gear malfunctioned and got lost in the crossfire. Of course it had to be Jean who swooped in and grabbed her before the panic could truly set in. If any abnormals caught up to them, they’d be screwed. Him and her both. And it’ll be all her fault.

You should be more grateful, a small voice in her head piped up. She tried to ignore it.

We’re gonna make it, we’re gonna make it, we’re gonna make it.

“I suppose I should say thanks,” she spoke up over the wind, resting her chin in her palm. Since he wouldn’t let her at least ride on his back or something, she might as well chill while she could (and not give him any more trouble...she owed him that much).

“For what?” he looked down at her briefly.

“For saving me.” Her stubbornness almost prevented her from adding, “Again.” But she did.

He grunted in reply.

“Do I owe you now?” she pressed, raising an eyebrow, and by then they’re finally out of the forest. Jean landed on his feet, making sure that he didn’t jostle her too much on impact before finally letting her go. Once Hitch was on her feet, she brushed herself off and straightened her jacket and cloak, but by then he was in her personal space.

“I didn’t save you because I had to,” he breathed. He’s so close to her now that she had to tilt her head all the way up to maintain eye contact with him. Their close proximity caused blood to rush to her cheeks, but she did not back down. Even though she now felt weak in the knees. Aaand she forgot how to breathe. “It’s because I wanted to.”

She could have sworn that his gaze flickered briefly to her lips then back up again, but she can’t be sure. Before she could even open her mouth to respond, he was walking away and she could hear the others arrive.

“Hitch!”

And Sasha practically slammed into her, bringing her out of her daze.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!”

Hitch squeezed her back half-heartedly, her thoughts on the young man who left her confused, conflicted, annoyed, and breathless. “Y-Yeah...I’m okay.”


 

There are times when Hitch wants to rip her hair out because of how much Jean pisses her off.

And there are times when Hitch wants nothing more than to jump his bones and kiss him until his lips are swollen from her kisses.

Ugh, this was so complicated. Their whole relationship was one big ball of confusion. One minute they’re bickering like some old married couple and the next they’re having tea in the middle of the night because nightmares were keeping them awake. Jean may have been a jerk, but deep down he has a good heart, and he’s pulled through for her in the most peculiar of ways. When she almost got eaten by a titan the first time, he was there. When she was rejected by Marlowe, he was there. When she needed to vent, or just talk to someone, he was there. When she needed to be held, he was there. He was always there.

And the longer she thought about him, the more she realized that life would suck without him.

Oh god. She’s in too deep.

Oh god oh god oh god.


 

“What’s up, Hitch?” Connie tilted his head to the side. “You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“I’m fine.” She didn’t look up to meet his gaze.

“Ya sure? You’ve been stirring your soup for the past five minutes.”

“Yeah, your cheeks are all red,” Sasha added. “Something up?”

“She’s probably still embarrassed that I saved her ass.”

His voice made her heartbeat spike to dangerous heights, and she dared herself to cut her gaze in his direction. He’s late to dinner, she noticed, but he has his tray and he sat down.

Right next to her.

She had no clue where he just came from, but the wetness of his hair and skin gave away that he must have been outside. (Since when did it start raining?) She played it cool though, and thought that this was the perfect time to take a sip of her juice.

Sasha noticed.

“Hey, man! Where’d you come from?” Connie greeted.

“None of your business,” Jean said back, but there’s a smile on his face. A cute smile. Damn him.

Connie lets it go, and instead of pressing further on the subject he performs a three-sixty and talks about something different. Just like that, the entire mood lifts and Hitch finds herself watching them interact with each other -- as well as Sasha. She was late into joining the Survey Corps, as well as their little circle, and she still felt like the outsider of the group. But Sasha and Connie were welcoming, and Jean was...well, Jean. She watched him the most out of the three, noticing how he talked with his hands (those large, strong hands) when he wasn’t eating. He always leaned forward whenever you had his undivided attention, and always had a smirk on reserve whenever you stroke his ego. His resting brooding face used to annoy her. Now it’s attractive.

-- And it’s embarrassing that she’s noticed all of the little things that made him...him.

God, does she really have it that bad?

Sasha nudged her with her foot, once again snapping her out of her daze -- and it was then when she realized she was openly gazing at him. oh no. -- and Hitch peered over at her through the rim of her cup.

The brunette snickered.

Hitch growled.

Yeah. Yeah she does.

Chapter Text

Je t'aime, je t'aime toujours

I am forever yours

Sweet dreams, sweet dreams mon cher

You're always in my prayers

 

“Do you really have to go?”

“You know I do.”

Hitch sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, biting the inside of her cheek to hold in her disappointment. The squad was getting ready, packing up their supplies and loading it onto the wagon, the horses already attached and kicking at the ground, snorting and shaking their heads. The people around were mounting onto their horses, checking gear and putting on cloaks. They were getting ready to head outside of the walls again, but since she was still under watch Hitch wasn’t allowed to go with them.

She heard him sigh and glanced up to see him rubbing the back of his neck, looking at anything besides her. She knew that he didn’t know what to say to her, and to be fair she wasn’t sure what to say. “Don’t die” sounded so blunt while “be safe” was much too sentimental for them. This new relationship of theirs was still in its beginning phases, in the awkward stages where words weren’t ready to be said and actions were hesitant, calculated, careful.

Sometimes she really hated it.

“Jean! You ready or what?”

They both turned their heads to see Eren on horseback staring at the aforementioned boy impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah, just hand on, asshole!” Jean snapped back, glaring at the green-eyed boy.

“Well hurry up, the Corporal says we’re about to go.” With that the horse was kicked and trotted away.

The couple stared at each other once more, searching for words, gestures, anything. Hitch let out a short huff and reached up to tug lightly on his sleeve. “Don’t be an idiot out there.”

“I won’t.”

“Don’t try to show off, either.”

“I won’t.”

“Just-just listen to orders, okay--?”

“Hitch, I will, Christ.” He glared at her and she held his gaze, eyes just as defiant. This lasted for a few moments before they heard the call to get ready, they were about to head out.

Jean turned away from her and she felt her heart sink, fear starting to seep into her. “Wait—”

He turned back around and she was suddenly grabbed by the upper arms, lips coming into contact with hers hard, desperate. She closed her eyes and returned it, feeling tears starting to well in her eyes.

He pulled away and she opened her eyes, rapidly blinking away the tears before they could fall. He noticed and gave her the tiniest of smiles. “Hey. I’ll be alright. The guys’ll save my ass if I do anything stupid.”

“And you will.” She let out a weak chuckle, reaching up to fix his shirt collar. She hesitated then leaned up to quickly peck the corner of his mouth. “Come back.”

Come back to me…

“I will.” He nodded at her then hurried to join the others, mounting the horse Sasha had been holding for him and then they were off.

Hitch wasn’t sure how long she stood there before she was called to come back inside. She spared one last glance over her shoulder before she headed inside.


Softly, sweetly

Wrapped up in heaven's arms

Sailing, soaring over the moon

Gathering star dust

 

The moon was full that night, beautiful and bright. Hitch stared up at it from her room, which was mostly empty since the girls she usually shared it with were gone on the mission. She sat by the window, her elbows rested on the sill with her chin held in her hands. There was something oddly soothing about the sky that night, and as sappy as it sounded it made her heart light to think that maybe, just maybe, Jean was looking at the same sky from wherever he was.

She didn’t really believe in god, hell, who would in a world like theirs, but…she found herself praying anyways. Praying for his safety, for his health, praying that he would come back to her in one piece…that he would come back to her alive.

“Be still, be safe, be sure,”
she prayed softly for him, staring up at the moon, hoping beyond hope that whatever high power was up there could hear her. She would do anything, say anything, if it would ensure Jean coming back. Up until now she hadn’t realized just how strongly she cared for him, how strongly she felt for him…how strongly she…she…

She shook her head, biting her lip. It was too soon for that, surely. But still…

“Je t'aime, je t'aime toujours…”

She shook her head and got up, crawling into her bed and pulling the covers up over her head. Tomorrow would be a new day, another day closer to the squad coming back…and for Jean to return to her safely.


Wishing, praying

All of your dreams come true

Please remember

Where'er you are my heart is with you

 


“They’re back!”

Hitch’s heart lept with joy when she heard the shout and she sprinted outside, her skirts in her hands as she ran to meet them. The Corporal and squad leader came up first, the first with a scowl and the later with a huge smile on their face. The older veterans came next, heading for the stables to put their horses up. Then came Eren and the rest, with a grim look on their faces.

She didn’t see Jean…

Her heart felt like it stopped and she felt her knees start to give. Sasha was at her side almost instantly, helping her to her feet and holding her steady. “Easy, it’s okay. He’s alive.”

He’s alive.

Hitch leaned against the other girl, her eyes shut tight as she tried to keep from crying. Thank God, thank God

“But he did get hurt, the idiot. A titan grabbed him and broke some ribs. Eren and Connie had to save his ass and we’re all pretty pissed at him for not following orders.” Sasha rubbed her back with a smile. “But he’ll live. He just earned us all cleaning duty for the next two weeks.”

“Where is he?” she managed to croak out, the shock having left her feeling weak.

“In the wagon. Look, there it is.” Sasha pointed as it came into view.

Hitch didn’t give her time to say anything else as she took off towards the wagon, nearly tripping in her hurry. It stopped when she reached it and she quickly climbed into the back, her eyes wide as she took in the sight of her boyfriend.

Jean was sitting up against the back, a bandage around his head and around his ribs under his opened shirt. His arm was wrapped up and his face was contorted from pain. But he was in one piece, he was safe, he was alive.

“Idiot.” She felt tears starting to slide down her cheeks and she didn’t bother to try to hide them. “What did I tell you?” She crawled over to him, stopping in front of him. “Didn’t I tell you not to do anything stupid? You never listen to anyone, do you?” She bit her lip to swallow back the sob welling up in her throat. “You idiot…”

Jean squinted up at her, his mouth turned down in a frown. “I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out a sob, then another. “You jerk…”


Sweet dreams, sweet dreams mon cher

Always in my prayer

 

“I’m sorry…” She felt his hand on her cheek, turning her head so she was looking at him. Remorse was written all over his face. “I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m sorry.”

“Idiot.” She reached up to press his hand against her cheek, turning her head to press kisses to his palm. “Always so reckless.”

His thumb caressed her cheekbone, his eyes gentle as he gazed up at her. “I know.” He didn’t have to say anything else. She knew.

She leaned down to press her forehead to his, closing her eyes as she listened to his breathing, her hand pressed against his chest to feel it rise and fall, feel his heart pounding under her palm. It was all assurance to her that he was here, he was safe, he was alive. And she would be damned if she ever let that change.

 

I am forever yours

“Je t’aime.”

“Je t’aime.”



Toujours