“hello, welcome to staples,” kakyoin says cherrily. Jotaro, suddenly hit with a tidalwave of gay emotions, crouches down into a crouched position, throwing his arms around as if taken over by the devil himself. “hol .y.. sHOL Y SHIT!!!!1!! holy hSIT boy holy s h i t.” jotaro hollers. Kakyoin watches with confusion, holding on to the weekly ad he had just been offering to jotaro tightly. “are you ok?” he asks. Jotaro goes up to kakyoin and grasps his hands, shaking the ad out of his grip. He looks at him strait in the eye and asks, “where are the two hole punches?” kakyoin looks very befuddled. “theres… none left in stock.” Kakyoin says nervously. “can you check in the back?” jotaro asks. “o-of course. Give me one second.” Kakyoin says, relieved to step out of the large, car shaped mans grip. Kakyoin realizes, as he walks away, he is sweating. He cant stop thinking about how that man was a hunk of meat with 400 horse power and 50 miles to the gallon.
He wipes his brow quickly and runs into the back, carefully scanning the shelves for a two hole punch. On his way, he bumps into avdol, who is going over the stock. “dolly, listen, you gotta help me.” Kakyoin bursts out, putting his head in his hands. “whats wrong, kakhis?” avdol asks, carefully setting his clipboard down. “theres this man out there, hes so hot, like nicki minja’s new album. I wanna smooch all up on his face.” Kakyoin says, turning bright red like avdols stand, magicians red. “ask him out then,” advil says, smiling. “but… hes so cool, like a freshly picked cherry,” Kak said sadly, “ and im more like a sad old cherry.” Avbowl shakes his head, and clasps kakyoins shoulder , “ kak, you are one hot piece of ass. Go get that meaty hunk man.”
Kakyoin cannot find the two hole punch, sadly, and so he goes out to tell jotaro, who is now donning a sharp tux, so sharp, he could kill a man whos name rhymes with leo. Jotaro is holding a bouquet of flowers, and a bowl of cherries. Kakyoin nearly faints from how sexe he is in his sharpe suit. Jotaro begins to sing katy perrys “teenage dream” to kakyoin while he rides a dolphin somehow that he got into the store which is not important right now. Kakyoin blushus and they get married on a dolphin and kiss and its great and kakyoin DOESN’T DIE. The end.