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don't give up on me

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Simon talks to Jocelyn as they walk to Clary’s room in the Institute. It’s still surreal to have her back, but then again since she went into her deep sleep Simon turned into a Vampire.

“They’ll need some privacy,” Isabelle whispers from his left so only he can hear.

He nods quickly as he lets Luke and Clary pass. Clary thanks them as she closes the door to her room.

Isabelle sighs and looks up at him. “Simon I know what you’re thinking and I don’t think you should go back,” Isabelle says.

Simon looks away from the door to her, making eye contact shortly. “They’re my people, Izzy… I have to find a way to fix this.”

Isabelle shakes her head again. “No, Simon, Raphael is furious right now. Give him some time to calm down.”

Simon knows Isabelle is right, but he also can’t just sit and wait. “He let us go and hasn’t tried anything so far which means I probably still have a chance to make things right.”

Isabelle doesn’t stop him as he walks away. In fact, no one at the Institute pays him any attention as he makes his way to the front door. They don’t care, he’s not a Shadowhunter.

*****


It’s an hour after sunset which means many vampires will be out by now for the night except for those who have duties in the hotel. He climbs up to the roof of the next door building, remembering that day Clary and rest had saved him. He uses the hidden hallway Raphael had used to let them out. Simon knows it’s a risk returning to Hotel DuMort and arriving in Raphael’s room with no warning, but he has to fix his mistake.

Simon walks as quietly as he can, making sure to pay close attention to any noises coming from within. He’s just about to round the corner when he hears Raphael speaking to Stan and a moment later footsteps drifting away. It’s now or never, he thinks, as he slides the wall and steps into Raphael’s room.

Raphael doesn’t flinch when Simon appears. “It would seem all your training has been for nothing, I heard you the moment you stepped into the building. I had to dismiss Stan so he wouldn’t hear you on the other side. Why are you back?”

Simon takes a deep breath despite Raphael’s continuous reminder that vampires are no longer required to breathe to stay alive. “Raphael, I’m sorry I let Camille out, but you have to understand what is happening. Look, Valentine has the Cup, okay? And he’s probably already started making his army of Shadowhunters that will try to get rid of Downworlders, us and-”

“The weaker ones, we’re Night Children-”

“Of the night, Raphael, what about the day? He can easily attack us during the day.”

Raphael sneers. “Or maybe we’ll side with him. If Valentine really has the Cup, then we don’t want to be his enemy.”

“Don’t you get it?” Simon almost shouts. “That’s what Valentine wants, but the moment the Vampires don’t follow his commands he’ll get rid of us. Just reconsider the alliance-”

“No,” Raphael growls as he stands in front of Simon. “I don’t have to reconsider anything or even listen to you.”

Simon holds up his hands in defeat as he takes a step back. “Think it over, Raphael. Just don’t take too long or might be too late.” Simon turns around to leave for his room, but finds Raphael blocking his path.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To my room,” Simon sighs.

“You betrayed us, Simon, you don’t have a place here anymore.”

“What?” Simon gasps. “Where am I supposed to go?”

“With your Shadowhunter friends, perhaps.”

Simon opens his mouth to tell Raphael that isn’t home. Hotel DuMort is his home now. He’s scared to try going back home in case he can’t control himself and attacks his family.

Raphael must see the hesitation and fear in his face because he sighs as he rolls his eyes. “Even if I wanted to forgive you for what you did, the clan would oppose. You didn’t just betray me, you betrayed them. They stood by you after what Camille did and you gave that all up for a Shadowhunter.”

Simon understands now. His mistake can’t be fixed with a simple “I’m sorry.” He nods. “I guess I should go now before you decide to really kill me this time.”

“Say I did reconsider and somehow convinced the clan to let you return,” Raphael speaks before Simon can move. “Camille is still out there… Things will never be the same.”

“I know, but they already aren’t, Raphael. Valentine has the Cup. There’s a war coming and we’re all going to need each other if we want to win.”

The two boys stare at each other before Raphael nods. “How do I know I can trust you, Simon, after what you’ve done?”

Simon shrugs. “You don’t, but you’ll wish you had if you don’t.”

Raphael grins at him for a moment before declaring, “Welcome back, Fledgling.”

“Really? Thank you!” Simon smiles finally.

“I’ll work something out with the clan, in the meantime you are not to leave the hotel unless I say so.”

Simon is almost ready to protest, but knows how lucky he is to be getting another chance. “Got it.”

“Don’t make me regret this, Simon,” Raphael speaks again in a grim tone. “Or you will wish you hadn’t been reborn.”

Simon shudders as he nods. “I guess this means I’m not getting my position as advisor to the interim chapter president back, right?”

“Just go to your room, Simon,” Raphael says annoyed with a roll of his eyes as he turns around to walk out. Simon smiles to himself briefly before following Raphael out, at least his ability to annoy Raphael still hasn’t changed.