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Drinks With Friends

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Emma walks into the Rabbit Hole and her eyes scan the crowd. It’s busier than usual and she wonders if it has anything to do with the fact that there is a Wicked Witch out to ruin the town so everybody wants to drink. She recognizes some of the merry men, she’s never going to get used to saying that, and some of the other locals, but there are some she’s never seen before laughing with Mr. Smee.

Must have come over with the new curse.

She continues to search the bar before her eyes land on the two people she was looking for. When she sees they are not alone, it doesn’t really surprise her. Mary Margaret told her that ever since they came back, David and Hook have taken up to sharing a couple drinks together when everyone was else was settled in for the night. So it seems completely normal that when he offered to take Robin out, Hook would tag along.

The only real thing that surprised her was that neither one of them had mentioned their little hang outs to her. As far as she knew, they weren’t exactly… mates.

Emma walks over to the booth they are sitting in and plops down next to the pirate. Because it was the only seat available,not because she wants to sit next to him.

“Is this a ‘boys only’ club or can anyone join?”

David chuckles while Robin gives her a smile.

“Course not, Lady Swan. You’re more than welcome to join us. Your father and the Captain here were just introducing me to the many new ale’s that this realm has to offer.”

“Good,” she says as she pulls her jacket off. “I could use a drink. What are we drinking?”

Hook holds up his flask and pours it into a glass.

Emma rolls her eyes. “There are other drinks besides rum.”

“I find that rum gets the job done just fine, love.”

She keeps her face blank as her stomach does a flip when he smirks at her and snorts.

“You would. Next round is on me.”

Emma stands from the booth and walks over to the bar. She gives smiles to the locals that greet her and tries to ignore the whispers she hears as she walks by.

“That’s the Savior.”

“Saved the whole town before.”

“She’ll save us again.”

“The Wicked Witch doesn’t stand a chance.”

Her jaw locks and not for the first time she craves the normalness of her life in New York. People didn’t look at her as a savior or expected her to save anything. She was just another woman in the big city trying to take care of her son.

Emma walks up to the bar and stands next to an older man. She doesn’t recognize him, but he has kind eyes, so when he tips his head to her she gives him a soft smile before she sticks her hand out.

“Hello. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Emma.”

The man blushes before his eyes shoot over her shoulder. Her brow goes together and she turns to look behind her but stops when the man takes her hand, and kisses the back of it before he tips his head again.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Princess Emma. I’m Samson.”

She squirms at the formality of his greeting but gives a light smile and pulls her hand back.

“You honor us with your presence here tonight.”

Emma laughs and leans against the bar.

“Yeah, well, sometimes you just need something stronger than what Granny’s has to offer.”

Samson chuckles and nods. “Too right you are, your majesty.”

“Emma, please.”

Hearing him address her as royalty makes her slightly nervous.

He stares at her blankly and she realizes that up until a couple weeks ago, this man lived in the Enchanted Forest and the thought of addressing royalty so formally is probably foreign to him.

“Ugh,” she starts. “Unless you’re more comfortable with the other.”

He lets out a sigh of relief and gives her a small smile in thanks. Emma is about to ask him where he’s from when his eyes shoot back over her shoulder and he goes stiff. She goes to look back but is once again stopped when the bartender walks up and places a drink in front of him.

“Permission to return to my table, Princess?”

Emma blinks and she has to keep herself from snorting. He is actually asking her permission to leave. She straightens and waves her hand.

“Oh, yes! Of course. It was nice to meet you, Samson.”

Samson gives her a slight bow and tips his head.

“The pleasure was all mine, your majesty,” he answers back before he walks off.

Emma lets out a breath and shakes her head slightly before she turns to the bartender.

“What can I get you?”

“A bottle of Jamison, the good stuff, aged eighteen years if you have it, and four glasses. Put it on my tab.”

The man nods before he turns back to get her order. Her eyes look up to the table Samson has retreated to. Some of the men are hitting him in the arm and whispering to him while he just shakes his head and drinks his beer. It’s then she notices Mr. Smee at the end of the table. He slams his hand down and points to the men that were whispering to Samson. They immediately go stiff before they nod their heads.

“Damn pirates,” she looks back to see the bartender placing four glasses in front of her on the bar along with a bucket of ice. “They are always so loud and boisterous. But they do tip well, I’ll give them that.”

Her eyebrow goes up. “Pirates?”

The bartender nods and puts the bottle next to the glasses.

“That’s the crew of the Jolly Roger.”

Emma’s eyes shoot back to the table of men. They were Hook’s crew. She’s never seen them before. They weren’t in Storybrooke a year ago. She looks them over with a thoughtful gaze. It surprises her that there is a mixture of ages throughout the crew. Some were young, late teens, early twenties, the others had to be around Hook’s age, well, whatever age he was before he spent time in Neverland, but there were few, only a couple, one being Samson, that are older, closer to Marco’s age.

“They ever give you any trouble?”

The bartender shakes his head. “Not usually. The Captain keeps a pretty tight ship, even back in the Enchanted Forest, they were always respectful. If something ever happened the Captain always made sure his crew paid for the damages.”

Her eyes stay on the crew and she nods.

“You don’t hear of many pirates being respectful.”

He chuckles as he wipes down the bar.

“Yes, well, it’s more respect for their Captain above anything else.” Her eyes move back to him and he shrugs. “They don’t do anything without his permission.”

It’s then Emma realizes that the thing Samson kept looking at over her shoulder was Hook. She looks back over at the booth he’s sitting at. He’s in the middle of a conversation with David and Robin but she can tell he’s paying attention to her.

He’s always watching her.

Emma turns back to the bartender and leans in close.

“Has anyone ever tried to under mind him?”

She doesn’t know why she’s trying to get gossip about Hook from the bartender, but he knows things about Hook’s past that she doesn’t and she can’t help it.

He laughs and shakes his head. “Now Sheriff, are you trying to get me on their bad side? Talking about this stuff could get me into a lot of trouble with Captain Hook, even if it’s with you.”

Her stomach flips at the way he says it, almost like she was someone special to Hook, but she ignores it.

Emma scoffs and waves her hand. “I can handle Hook.”

The bartender’s face drops and he leans forward a little.

“I wouldn’t do that. I’m not saying you couldn’t, Sheriff. Everyone in this town knows not to cross the Savior. But if you’ll let someone as lowly as a bartender give you a bit of advice?” She nods. His eyes move over to the crew then back to her. “Acting so blasé about a Captain’s order in front of his crew isn’t good. That’s how mutiny happens. I’m only telling you this because the Captain has been nothing but a gentleman since he first came here last year and I respect him too much to see a mutiny happen. You don’t have to worry about his crew, they will follow whatever order he gives and if I may be so bold, I’m assuming whatever order he gives, it whatever order you give.”

Emma stands up straight and her mouth drops. The bartender presses his lips together and gives her a nod before he walks off to help another customer. Storybrooke is a small town and things get around. Things like her breaking the curse, a wolf on the run, new people arriving, and apparently Hook’s feelings for her.

She’s tried not to think about them since she got her memories back. There are other more important things for her to worry about, but she can’t deny they are always in the back of her mind. His words from Neverland haunting her every time she looks into his eyes.

“So when I win your heart, Emma… and I will win it… it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.”

A loud laughter breaks out of her thoughts and she shakes her head.

No time to think about that.

Emma puts the bottle and bucket of ice under her arms and picks up the four glasses. She places the items on their table with a smile.

“I give you Irish Whiskey aged eighteen years. It’s smooth and is served best with ice.”

David rubs his hands together and Robin starts to put ice in their glasses as she pops the cork on the bottle.

“Everything alright?”

She looks over at Hook to see him staring at her with his eyebrow raised. His eyes move to the table where his crew is for a quick second before they move back to her. She fights the smile because she was right about him watching her.

“Fine,” she says with a shrug and pours each of them a drink.

Hook presses his lips together but doesn’t comment as she sits back down next to him. They each pick up their glasses and hold them up to clink them together.

“Gentleman,” Emma starts with a smile. “I hope you’re ready for a real treat.”

She watches all their faces as they take their first sip. David smiles while Robin breathes out a nods. Hook on the other hand, gives nothing away.

“What’s the matter, Captain? Not as good as your rum?”

Hook chuckles and leans forward onto the table. “It’s a delicious drink, Swan. I have no qualms with it. But something tells me this is a drink that should be savored, drank slowly so you can enjoy the taste of it.”

She swallows and her skin starts to heat up at his low, deep voice.

Emma looks at David and Robin before she turns back to Hook.

“And?”

“And…” Hook starts before he lifts his hand in the air and motions to their table. “I think tonight we could all use a little more.”

She sees David and Robin both smile when the bartender shows up with four empty shot glasses and four tumblers of beer.

“Let’s see how this whiskey fairs when it’s drank quickly.”


They’ve done their third shot of whiskey in an hour and a half when it happens. Emma was just starting to get a buzz and could feel herself relaxing when a chair crashes to the ground and voices from across the room start to rise.

She looks up to see a few men from Hook’s crew arguing with a few of Robin’s merry men. Emma lets out a sigh and moves to stand to break it up when a loud whistle rings out from next to her and almost pierces her ear drums.

The crew of the Jolly Roger stops right away and look over at their table. Her head snaps over to Hook to see him glaring daggers at his crew. No words are spoken and the crew immediately steps back in retreat from the merry men.

Suddenly the bartender’s words ring through her ears.

“You don’t have to worry about his crew, they will follow whatever order he gives.”

Emma’s eyes move to David who just shrugs and takes a sip of his beer like it’s the most normal thing in the world. The merry men start to laugh in the crews face, taunting them, but they still do nothing, all because their Captain is glaring at them from beside her.

It’s not until Robin emerges from the bathroom that the merry men stop.

“What’s going on?” he asks in confusion.

Hook sighs and taps Emma on the side of the leg.

“Care to let me free, love?”

She slides out of the booth. “You got this?”

He gives her a tight smile and a nod.

“Nothing to fret about.”

Emma sits back down in the booth and continues to stare as Hook and Robin walk to the other side of the bar.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Emma,” David’s voice causes her to look over at him. “Hook’s not going to let his crew fight and I doubt Robin is, either.”

She looks back across the room and bites her lip. She wants to go over there, but something about the way Hook was presenting himself has her glued to her seat. His body language always screamed cockiness and self-assurance, but now he was holding himself in a different manner. She was watching how the true Captain Hook worked, full of authority and demanding attention from every person in his crew.

“I’ll be right back,” she mumbles after she finally can’t take it anymore.

David tries to protest, but she doesn’t listen and walks over to Robin who is hissing in a hushed town to his group.

“Everything okay?”

Robin gives her a small smile and nods.

“Yes, my men are sorry for the scene they caused. I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

Emma smiles at them. “I’m sure it won’t. How about a round of drinks for them on me?”

Robin chuckles.

“That’s kind of you, Emma. Thank you.”

The merry men lift their glasses in thanks and she waves to them before she walks over to Hook and his crew. She watches as Mr. Smee motions to her with his hand to Hook. His head snaps over to her and she can see his jaw is clenched.

She can tell he’s trying to keep authority of the situation and she once again remembers what the bartender told her.

“Acting so blasé about a Captain’s order in front of his crew isn’t good. That’s how mutiny happens.”

“I was just wondering if it was okay if I bought a round of drinks for everyone. I mean, they are all kind of here because of me… or at least we think this might have something to do with me… so…”

“That would be lovely!” Mr. Smee says with a smile.

Hook quickly turns back to him and the first mate starts to cower under his glare.

“Only if your Captain allows it,” she tells the crew.

All of their eyes turn to Hook in a pleading manner who looks at her in confusion. She gives him a small smile trying to let him know that whatever decision he makes is okay with her.

Hook sets his lips in a firm line before he turns back to his crew.

“Aye. But only after you make peace with the merry men. Is that clear?”

“Aye, aye Captain!” they all yell out.

Emma puts her hands in her back pockets and moves to inform the bartender when Hook stops her.

“What do you say to the lady, gents?”

She can’t help the blush on her cheeks when they lift their glasses and yell out.

“Cheers to Captain Hook and Princess Emma!”


David blinks his glassy eyes as he struggles to stay focused. He’s hunched over the pool table, his pool stick is in his hands and he’s trying to line up his shot. They’ve been at the Rabbit Hole for three hours and half the bottle of whiskey was already gone, along with numerous pints of beer.

Emma stumbles over to him, her hip bumps into the pool table and she falls forward to lean in front of him. David’s head falls forward in laughter and she starts to giggle in his face.

“Don’t blow it!” she giggles in what is supposed to be a whisper. “We can’t let them win!”

“Miss it!” Robin calls out while Hook laughs next to him.

Emma uses her pool stick to push herself up and throws a drunken glare their way before she turns back to David.

“You got this,” her words are slurred and she doesn’t realize her body is swaying back and forth. “You are Prince FuckingCharming! No way are you going to let Robin Hood and Captain Hook beat us!”

David continues to howl in laughter while Robin chokes on his drink from his own. Hook stumbles over to her and pulls her back.

“Swan, let your father take his missed shot.”

She’s too drunk to notice his hand on her waist or the way his thumb rubs her hip.

“Don’t listen to him!” she giggles out. “Bring us the win!”

David shakes his head as he tries to control his laughter. Emma picks up her drink and takes a big gulp, Hook’s hand is still on her waist. The three of them watch as the prince takes a deep breath and lines his stick up again. They go silent and when he hits the cue ball, there’s a crack as it smacks against the black eight ball before it goes into the corner pocket.

Emma and David jump up in the air with a shout while Robin and Hook groan and shakes their heads.

“We’ve been bested, mate,” Robin says with a shake of his head. “Bested by royalty! We’re criminals, you and I. You would think we’d have this game won.”

“Aye. But they are a prince and a princess, so I say the odds were already stacked against us.”

She rolls her eyes and puts her arm around David.

“Do you hear this? Blaming titles on losing? I’m not even a real princess!”

David shakes his head. “Sore losers, but you are a real princess, Emma.”

She points to her head and giggles.

“Do you see a tiara? There’s no princess here!”

“You need a tiara!” David cries out before he turns to Hook and almost stumbles into him. “We should get her a tiara!”

“Aye! The finest tiara in all the realms!”

“With lots of jewels!” Robin hollers out as he lifts his glass in the air.

Emma laughs until tears come to her eyes before she gets an idea and starts waving her hands around.

“Wait, wait! I can get myself a tiara! How hard could it be?”

Hook goes somber for a second before he puts his hand on hers.

“Ugh, love. Maybe you shouldn’t be messing with your magic just now? We’ve had quite a few libations.”

Emma scoffs and waves her left hand at him, her right is still in his.

“This won’t be hard, just shh.”

The men go quiet as she closes her eyes to concentrate. She tries to picture a tiara in her mind, but it’s shaky due to all the whiskey she’s drank. Seconds later, a surge of power rushes through her veins and she suddenly feels something heavy on top of her head. Her eyes shoot open when she hears Robin and David cry out in fits of laughter. Her brow goes together and she reaches to grab the object on her head. When she pulls it down, her head goes back and she laughs her ass off.

“I’m so sorry!” she cries and hands the hook back to the pirate.

He’s looking at her with his lips pressed together but his chest is heaving up and down from laughter.

“How the bloody hell did you get his hook instead of a tiara?” Robin coughs out in between laughs.

Emma waves her hands in front of her face, she’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe.

“I…,” she sucks in a breath and continues to laugh. “I don’t know! It was the first thing I ever moved by myself and I guess instead of a tiara, I moved that again!”

The four of them have tears running down their faces while they try to calm themselves down. It takes her three more tries, the second and third his hook appear on her head again, but finally, on the fourth, she pictures a tiny plastic tiara she saw in a Halloween store once and it appears on her head.

“Ah!” Robin stands up on his chair and waves his arms around. “Princess Emma finally has her tiara!”

The bar looks at them all like they are crazy, but they don’t pay any attention. David pulls Robin down from the chair and they lean into each other as they laugh, while Emma hides her face in Hook’s shoulder.

“Pink feathers,” he chuckles. “Very fetching.”

Emma lifts her head and gives him a big smile.

“Your favorite color is pink, don’t lie!”

Hook throws his head back and barks out a laugh.

“Aye, you caught me. The dreaded Captain Hook likes the color pink.”

She wiggles her finger in his face and grins. “I’m going to remember that!”


“Closing time? Who ever heard of a Tavern that closes?” Robin cries out.

The four stumble out of the bar together and Hook tries not to show how happy is when Emma loops her arm through his elbow to keep herself up. He knows it’s only because she’s been drinking but he takes whatever he can get.

“It’s far too early to stop now! Surely there is some place we can get some of that heavenly… what did you call it? Whiskers?”

They all laugh.

“Whiskey!” Emma and David call out at the same time.

“Yes, whiskey! Let’s get some more!”

The four walk down main street when Hook looks up and sees Granny’s diner. A smirk forms on his face and he leans down to whisper to Emma.

“Since you’re not technically the Sheriff again, would you be against a little pillaging?” When she squints her eyes at him, he motions to the diner. “I know for a fact Granny keeps her stash of libations open.”

Emma snorts.

“You’ve taken some before, haven’t you?”

“Now, Swan. I am a pirate. Do you really expect me to control myself when it’s there ripe for the taking?”

She presses her lips together and gives him a smirk before she turns to Robin.

“Robin!” Emma hisses while Hook walks over to David to distract him. “Come here!”

The thief stumbles over and they both laugh as he almost falls into her.

“I have a very,” she hiccups. “Important mission for you.”

Robin tries to make his face serious but they both break out into another fit of giggles.

“Hook and I are going to get some more whiskey. You have to distract David! He can’t know what we’re doing.”

He tries to lift his fingers to his eyes to gesture he’s got his eyes on her, but ends up poking himself.

“Ow!” he groans out with a laughter while Emma loses it and falls back against the wall.

“Did you just poke yourself in the eye?!” David barks out while Hook holds onto his stomach.

“I’m down!” Robin calls out dramatically, his hand stays over his eye. “David, mate! You must help me. Come quick!”

Emma’s laughing so hard she barely registers Hook’s hand in her own before he’s pulling her toward the back of Granny’s.

“You have to stop laughing,” he whispers to her in a chuckle.

She lifts her hand to cover her mouth and nods but she can’t stop. Hook laughs silently next to her as they stumble through the back entrance. Emma puts her finger to her lips to motion for him to be silent as they make their way down the hall.

It’s dark and they bump into the wall and themselves more times than they can count but they eventually make it to the diner. Hook takes a step forward and starts to slip. His arms wave and wraps himself around Emma before he can hit the ground. Her hands shoot up to cover her mouth to hide her laughter and she squeezes her eyes shut.

“Did you just almost…” her voice is high but still in a whisper.

Hook struggles to keep quiet, but he does. His chest is the only thing giving away how hard he’s actually laughing. They stand there for a few moments, his arms around her waist, her hands on his biceps and her head hidden in his chest as the try to control themselves.

“Don’t you bloody tell them that!” he orders in a whisper.

Emma smiles and nods before she pulls back and gives him a salute. “Aye aye Captain!”

He licks his lip at how adorable she looks, her cheeks are flushed and her eyes shine bright from all the laughter. They quietly, not really, make their way behind the counter and start to raid Granny’s liquor supply. Emma lets out a little cheer when she finds the green bottles of whiskey while Hook refills his flask with rum, spilling most of it on the floor.

“Got it?”

His breath is on her ear and she can feel his body pressed up against her back.

“Yeah, but it’s not the aged stuff,” she shrugs and pulls out more bottles. “They won’t be able to tell.”

When she looks back, Hook lifts his eyebrow at her before he snatches the bottle off of the counter and opens it with his thumb and pointer finger. The cap tumbles to the floor and he lifts it up to take a swig. She giggles when he makes a face of disgust as he pulls it away.

“Now that is swill. Doesn’t Granny carry the good kind; they will be able to know the difference as soon as they taste it.”

Emma rolls her eyes and takes her own sip. In her drunken state, she can barely tell the difference. She turns to face him and leans back on the counter.

“They aren’t a bijillion year old pirate. Trust me, they won’t be able to tell the difference.”

Hook looks at her in mock anger before he leans forward and boxes her in with his hand and hook on either side of her.

“That’s not an age or a word for that matter!”

She takes another sip of the whiskey as he speaks and a little dribbles down her chin when she laughs.

“Mhm, it sure is!” she plays innocent. “It means really really really old!”

Hook tickles her side and she smacks his hand away. Emma picks up the two bottles of whiskey and motions for them to go.

“What are you doing?” she hisses.

Hook leans down under the counter and grabs two more bottles.

“A bottle for the each of us!”

She knows that she should feel bad, they are stealing from Granny, but before they leave, Hook throws a pouch of coins on the counter and she justifies that it was more than enough for what they take.


“I use to run all the time!” Emma explains.

She’s walking backwards in front of the three men with an open bottle of whiskey in her hands and her arms are waving about. They all laugh every time she bumps into something on the side walk.

“Ah, but you’ve never run fast until you’re running from a knight you’ve just stolen from!” Robin calls out before he takes a sip from his own bottle.

Emma waves her hands at him. “I’m still fast. I can,” she hiccups. “Run circles around you, buddy!”

David and Hook both jab at Robin in between their laughs.

“My lady, I think not!”

“I so can!” Emma slurs back.

David and Hook are holding their sides they are laughing so hard.

“Then let’s go!” Robin hollers as he points to the street. “Right now.”

The both laugh as they wander out into the deserted street.

“David, if you would be so kind,” Robin asks.

Hook laughs and he takes a pull from the bottle of whiskey as he watches the prince stumble out into the street. His jog to a couple feet ahead is zig zagged and he bumps into two cars on his way.

Robin and Emma stand next to each other and hunch forward to begin their run.

“Now,” Robin slurs out. “No cheating.”

Emma stands up straight and puts her hands on her hips.

“How dare you, sir!” she gasps out. “I am a princess!” she points to the plastic tiara on her head. “A lady of honor, I would never go as far as to cheat in a foot race just to win… is that a dragon?”

Hook watches as Robin’s head swivels to his right to look out in the night. When he sees Emma take off down the street, he laughs so hard he spits whiskey out of his mouth.

“Cheater!” Robin yells with a laugh and runs after her.

David is hunched over holding his stomach from his laughter and lifts his hand just in time for Emma to smack it as she runs by.

“Woohooo! Emma wins by a mile!” she yells out with her arms up.

Robin gives a mock glare to David who throws his hands up.

“Don’t blame me, blame the pirate! She’s spending way too much time with him.”

Hook and Emma’s eyes connect as they both laugh.


“I got an idea!” David hollers out.

They watch as he stumbles over to a truck and peaks inside. Emma takes another swig from her bottle and wraps her arms around herself to fight off the cold air of the night. Suddenly, a long black leather jacket appears in front of her. She looks up at Hook with a drunken smirk.

“Won’t you be cold?”

“I’m a pirate, love,” his voice is slurred and his accent is thicker. “Spent many a night in weather colder than this.”

Her whiskey filled mind forgets all the reasons why she shouldn’t take his coat before she puts her bottle in between her knees and takes it from him. It feels heavy on her shoulders but it warms her instantly.

“Wow. No wonder you never need anything else!”

He gives her another smirk before David stumbles up to them.

“That’s Leroy’s truck. He always leaves the keys in the glove box so he doesn’t lose them,” David giggles. “We’re going to move it. Hook, Robin, come help me! Emma you be the look out!”

Her eyes go wide as she watches David open the truck door. The three men laugh as he pulls the keys from the glove box and puts them in the ignition. He turns the key just enough to switch the gears.

“Okay,” he calls out in a whisper. “Hook you get on the other side, Robin, you go to the back, then we all push!”

Emma has to cover her mouth again to hide her laughter while she watches the three of them push Leroy’s truck down the street. They eventually park it on the sidewalk, blocking the pharmacy entrance four blocks away.

The four run away as they laugh hysterically.


Robin stares up at the window, his eyes are glassy and his body sways while he clutches his bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Do people really do this in this world?”

David and Hook snicker from their crouched position behind a bush.

“Yes! It’s romantic, trust me!”

“Saw it on a moving picture once. Made the maiden swoon. They offed each other in the end out of love, very tragic.”

David barks out a laughter while Robin looks back him like he’s crazy.

Hook rolls his eyes and motions to the window with his hook. “Don’t do that, obviously. Just do the wooing part.”

Robin turns back to the window and takes a deep breath.

“Where’s Emma?” Hook asks as he looks around.

Robin rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his bottle while David shakes his head.

“For the fourth time, Hook, she went in to use the bathroom!”

“Maybe I’m not the one that needs to do the confessing, mate,” Robin snickers.

Hook picks up a rock and tosses it at him. It ends up hitting the tree three feet next to him.

“Talk about her eyes! Women love when you talk about their eyes!” David calls out.

“Bloody hell, don’t be that predictable. This is Regina we’re talking about here!”

David drinks from his bottle and wipes his chin with the back of his hand.

“What else is he going to talk about? Her ability to wear black all the time?”

“He could say how she stole his heart… and only figuratively for once!” Hook offers.

David roars in laughter while Robin spins to him.

“Really, mate?”

Hook chuckles as the prince leans against his side to hold himself up.

“Was just a suggestion!”

The thief turns back to the window and puts his hand over his heart.

“Regina, my love!” Robin hollers out. “I’ve not thought of a single thing but your beauty since the moment we met and I have to tell you…”

He stops when they hear a door open.

The three of them turn to see Emma stumble out of the entrance. She stops when she sees them, Robin standing on the lawn while Hook and David try to hide behind a bush.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m confessing my undying love to Regina.”

Emma’s eyes go wide before she starts to laugh.

“Robin! We’re at her office! She’s not here! She’s home!”

David and Hook laugh so hard they fall onto the ground.


“You’re the one that has a pregnant wife up there, mate,” Robin slurs out.

They are a block away from the loft. David and Robin keep bumping into lamp posts and trash cans while Hook carries Emma on his back. When she’s sober, she’ll try not to remember how his hand and hook felt on the back of her thighs, or how intimate it made her feel when she would put her bottle to his lips so he could take a drink while he carried her.

“A pregnant wife that could sleep through an ogre attack! We’ll be fine.” He waves his hand and bumps into a mail box which causes them all to laugh.

“Henry’s the same way,” Emma cuts in as she adjusts herself on Hook’s back. “Back in New York I dropped a glass bowl in the kitchen one night, he didn’t even flinch. But you take a step in the room I’m sleeping in and I’ll wake up.”

“Aye.”

David wiggles his finger at her and sways as he walks. “You get that from me, I’m afraid. Always was a light sleeper.”

“The best of us are!” Robin toasts before he takes another swig from his almost empty bottle.

They try to keep quiet as they walk up the stairs to the loft, but Robin trips over his feet and they all laugh uncontrollably. David leans his head against the rail while Hook almost drops Emma.

When they finally make it into the loft, they are stumbling and Emma drops her empty bottle to the ground. The four of them go silent right away and wince. They wait for Mary Margaret or Henry to wake, but it’s quiet.

“What did I tell you?” David snickers. “Ogre attack.”


“I’m the prince, you’re the pirate, and you’re the thief!” David calls out before he lifts another shot to his lips.

He gives the empty glass to Hook who places on the next row of their pyramid.

“PPT? What is that going to stand for?” Robin takes his shot and does the same.

Emma stands in the kitchen rummaging through the drawers until she finds what she’s looking for. She makes her way back into the living room and David and Robin have to catch her before she stumbles into the coffee table. She plops down on the couch next Hook and starts on her little project.

“Don’t know if I want to be part of something that’s referred to as the PPT,” Hook chuckles.

“You won’t!” Emma says with a smile and puts down the markers.

The three men try to sneak what she’s done but she hides the papers against her chest. Emma giggles as she puts tape on the top and stands up.

“You’re the pirate,” she says as she pushing the piece of paper onto Hook’s chest. Then she walks over to David, Hook has to grab her leg so she doesn’t trip.

“You’re the prince,” she presses another piece of paper to David’s chest.

“And you’re the pick pocket!” she puts the last piece on Robin.

The three of them look at her confused before she holds her arms out with a big grin.

“You’re the ‘Three P’s’ of Storybrooke!”

She laughs so hard at their expressions she knocks Robin’s bottle over and it spills everywhere.


David has his chin resting on his fist and he’s staring at Hook.

“Mate, you look at me any longer, I’m going to be obligated to tell your wife.”

Robin snickers while Emma takes another shot.

“Doesn’t that stuff bother your eyes?”

“Gazing into my eyes now, are we? Maybe I should have a talk with the lady of the house hold.”

“It can’t be comfortable.”

Hook reaches over Emma’s lap into the pocket of his coat that she’s still wearing. His fingers fumble for a quick second while Emma giggles. He throws her a smirk before he pulls out the piece of black charcoal.

“Come on, Dave. Let’s make your eyes pop.”

Both Robin and Emma laugh while David sits on the coffee table in front of Hook. Emma almost spits out her beer when David leans forward and makes his eyes go wide.

“Oh gods, I wish we had a camera!” She cries out while Robin nods in agreement.

Robin chokes on his beer when David giggles that it tickles and the pirate has to raise his hook to place under his chin to keep him still. When they are finished Hook pulls back and his brow goes together.

“What? Did you mess it up?”

Hook shakes his head. “No. Sad to tell you, mate, you’re still not as dashing as me, though.”

Emma does spit her beer out that time while Robin laughs into his hands. David shoves the pirates shoulder before he stumbles into the bathroom.

“Liar! I’m even more dashing than you, I might make this my new look.” David smirks as he walks out of the bathroom.

Hook groans while the other two continue to laugh.


“Come on!” Emma cries out. “If you want to look like the real Captain Hook you have to let me do it!”

“Darling, I am the real Captain Hook!”

“I think I liked the cartoon version better,” David snickers from his spot on the floor next to the couch.

Hook presses his lips together before he takes his boot off and throws it at him.

“Did you just throw a boot?” Robin cackles.

The three men continue to laugh while Emma picks up the stick of charcoal off of the coffee table. She waves it in front of his face and he rolls his eyes with a smile. Later, he’ll tell the men it’s because he was drunk and he didn’t know any better, but the truth is, even when he’s drunk, he can’t tell her no.

When she’s finished, David laughs so hard that he falls onto his back while Robin gives Emma a high five.


Mary Margaret opens her eyes the next morning and looks at the clock. She groans when she sees how early it is and wants nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep. But the child in her stomach gives a sharp kick and her bladder feels like it’s about ready to explode. It’s then she notices her husband’s side of the bed is empty and her brow goes together. She pushes herself out of bed as fast as she can with a large stomach and waddles out of the bedroom.

When her feet touch the hardwood floor, she bites back a shiver and wraps her rob around her to ward off the chill. She makes her way into the living room and stops. Her hand shoots up to her mouth and she tries to hold back her giggle.

In her living room are four very drunk, very passed out adults. There are three empty bottles of whiskey on the coffee table, along with four half drank glasses of beer, cards, gold coins, three markers, red, green and blue, and a pyramid made of shot glasses. Robin Hood is passed out in her rocking chair with his hands planted on his thighs, his head back and his mouth open, almost like he sat down and fell right to sleep. There’s a white piece of paper pinned to the front of his shirt that has the words ‘PICK POCKET’ written in green very badly on it. Her husband is on the floor at Robin’s feet. His right arm is thrown above his head, while his left arm cradles a half filled bottle of whiskey to his chest. He seems to be using a black leather boot as a pillow and there’s also a white piece of paper pinned to his shirt that says ‘PRINCE’ in blue.

Mary Margaret shakes her head with a smile but stops when she looks at the couch.

Hook is sitting up, his feet, one is covered by a black leather boot and one without, are crossed over one another on top of the coffee table. His shirt also has a piece of paper, the words ‘PIRATE’ written in red on it and his face has a drawn on handle bar mustache.

But that isn’t what makes her stop. What makes her stop is Emma. She’s sleeping on the couch next to Hook, and she’s wearing his long leather jacket. Her head is on his chest and her legs are curled up next to her and they are cuddling. Hook’s right arm his around her shoulders  while her left hand is under her chin and she clutches his hook in her right hand, that’s covered in black charcoal, on his lap. Mary Margaret tilts her head when she sees Emma is wearing a silver, plastic tiara on top of her head that sparkles and has pink feathers.

She wants to take a picture of all four of them, but her bladder reminds her that she has to use the bathroom and she moves. Mary Margaret tries to be as quiet as possible so that she doesn’t wake them, but when she opens the bathroom door to walk out she hears movement.

Her eyes move to the couch. They haven’t woken, but at the sound of the door being opened, Hook moves and she watches as he pulls her daughter closer to him and buries his face in her hair. Emma lets out a soft sigh and snuggles deeper into his chest.

Tears form in her eyes as she stares at them. It’s obvious her daughter has feelings for the pirate but she’s trying so hard to fight them. Mary Margaret knows if Emma would just open her heart to love, she would be much happier and all her doubts would wash away. She walks to her bedroom and prays that it won’t be too long before her daughter finally realizes that.

When she wakes later, she finds what she thinks is her daughter and her husband in the kitchen, but she can’t be sure. They both look miserable and completely wrecked. Emma sits on one of the stools staring into space with blood shot eyes, Hook’s jacket still around her, her hair is a knotted mess, and the plastic tiara is still on her head but slanted to the side. David stands in the kitchen slouched over the island with his head in his hands.

“And how are we all feeling today?”

David groans and Emma lets out a whimper. Mary Margaret looks up when she sees Hook walk into the kitchen, his face free of the drawn on mustache and his hair messier than she’s ever remembered seeing it. He’s taken his other boot off but he doesn’t seem as bad as the others.

“Where’s Robin?”

“Getting acquainted with your basin it would seem,” Hook mumbles.

Emma’s fist goes to her mouth as her chest jerks and she closes her eyes. Mary Margaret chuckles and rubs David’s back.

“You okay, sweetie?”

He stays silent and keeps his head in his hands. She looks back over at her daughter who finally lets her fist fall back down to her lap.

“I’m never drinking again,” Emma whispers and David grunts in agreement.

The former bandit bites back her giggle and decides to make them all breakfast. She’ll let them all have an hour of their groans without any questions from her until she insists they join the land of the living and clean up her loft. They still have a Wicked Witch to defeat, after all.

But when her husband finally stands and she looks at him she can’t hold back.

She starts laughing hysterically and cries out, “Why they hell are you wearing eyeliner?!”