Gabriel glares ferociously into his closet, buck ass naked and so frustrated he’s pretty sure there’s steam coming out of his ears. He knows it’s probably his own fault, he hasn’t really been out of the house properly, or even worn anything but sweatpants and boxers for the last three months.
But seriously. What the hell happened to his clothes?
He owns four pairs of ‘nice’ pants, in varying shades of blue and black. One pair he rules out because they’re covered in paint and chilli sauce. Another pair have developed a nasty hole in the crotch.
He’s just spent half an hour trying to get into another pair left over from his college days when he was a svelte young thing with actual hip bones and firm buttocks.
And then there’s the pair he’s now clutching in his hand. They’re slightly black, and wrinkled, and Gabriel has a sneaking suspicion that they actually belonged to Balthazar at some point.
He’s getting desperate. They’ll have to do. There’s no way he can go out with Sam in scabby sweats.
And, right on que, his phone rings.
“Hello?” It’s Sam. Of course. Gabriel’s frown melts the minute he hears his voice.
“Hello yourself. To what do I owe the delight of hearing your wonderful baritone?”
Sam giggles on the other end of the line.
“I just wanted to talk to you. I haven’t seen you for so long…”
“I feel you babe. It’s been way too long. But you’re seeing me tonight, and you can tell me all about your exciting European adventure.” He drops the pants on the floor and sits on the bed, cradling the phone to his ear.
Sam snorts. “It wasn’t that exciting.”
“Whatever, hotstuff. Tell me ‘bout it over dinner. Not to fob you off or anything, but I’ve got to go make myself beautiful for you.”
“You don’t need to make yourself beautiful. You’re already stunning.” Sam admonishes. Gabriel tries hard not to grin.
“You never know, I might’ve grown another head while you were gone.”
Sam laughs, and the sound is just as beautiful as ever.
“I love you baby.” Gabriel says softly, smiling sappily as he hears Sam sigh happily at the other end.
“I love you too. See you at seven.”
“Yep. Bye sugar.”
Gabriel puts down the phone with a happy little smile and stares into the middle distance for a whole minute, just thinking about his Sam. Then he picks up his pants, and starts round two of Trying to Dress for Dinner.
Turns out, although he hasn’t grown an extra head in the three months Sam’s been gone, he has gained 9 pounds, all of which have manifested in his ass.
Yup, he officially has a bubble butt.
He strains his neck attempting to look at it in the mirror. The seat of his pants looks ready to split. If he bends over, they probably will split.
He tries clenching his bum up, but he just looks constipated, and then he feels like crying.
He sits down (carefully) and buries his face in his hands. Who knew nine measly pounds could make so much difference? It’s no good. He can’t cancel on Sam, not now. He hasn’t got anything else to wear and it’s far too late to go and buy something new.
He tells himself to slow down and think about it rationally. It’s not too much of a disaster. Sam isn’t really going to look at his ass that much (probably). As long as they don’t split, the pants will be okay. Fingers crossed.
He stands up gingerly and takes another look. It really doesn’t look too bad. He gives his hips a gentle wiggle, and the result isn’t completely unsexy. He gives his butt a slap. Maybe it isn’t a complete disaster after all.
Maybe, Sam will like it enough to take him home and rip those pants right off him.
Wishful thinking? Possibly. But it can’t hurt to try.
Gabriel grins into the mirror and pulls out a fresh blue shirt. He has a moose to seduce.
Gabriel smiles as he leaves the restaurant, hand in hand with his boyfriend. There have been no pant related disasters and Sam keeps looking at him like he hung the moon, so all in all he’s feeling pretty awesome. They reach his car soon enough and Gabriel stops, looking up at his man.
“You coming back with me? I’ve got coffee and Netflix.”
Sam laughs and curls his arm around Gabriel’s waist.
“As if you have to bribe me to come home with you. Of course I will.”
Gabriel grins. “Awesome.”
He goes to fish his keys out of his pocket, but somehow manages to drop them. He mutters, “Damn,” and without thinking about it, bends over to pick them up. It’s only when he’s face down, ass up that he hears a little breathy gasp from behind him, and remembers suddenly that his pants are in a delicate sort of state. He springs to his feet quickly and turns around to blush and explain away his predicament to Sam, but-
Sam’s face is flushed and his pupils are blown and he looks… Predatory.
Gabriel swallows a lump in his throat and automatically backs up against his car. Sam follows him and presses against him, and yup, that is definitely not a gun in his pocket.
Gabriel looks up into Sam’s dark eyes and his tongue automatically flicks out to wet his lips. He’s never seen Sam like his. Maybe he has a thing for shitty Olivia Newton-John impressions?
“How the fuck did you get into those things?” Sam mutters. His voice is husky which turns out to be a huge turn on. Sam is also looking at him like he’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen and it makes Gabriel’s cock twitch.
“I-uh.” Gabriel stutters. His voice has gone up a few octaves so he coughs and tries again.
“I-uh, didn’t have anything else to wear. I was sort of hoping you wouldn’t notice but I forgot they were so tight and-“
“I’m so glad you forgot.” Sam growls. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna get in your car and drive home, and I’m going to follow you in my car, and then I’m going to fuck you into next week. Okay?”
Gabriel is suddenly glad that Sam is holding him up, because he’s going a bit weak at the knees.
The drive home is the longest of Gabriel’s entire life. The urge to pull over and jack off gets stronger at every red light. His cock is pressing painfully into the zipper of his jeans, because he had to go commando (barely room enough for his ass in those pants, let alone underwear). He can’t stop thinking about the way Sam looked at him. They’ve dated for nearly a year, but he’s never looked at Gabriel like that before. Their lovemaking has always been gentle and pure. Never anything heated or rushed. Gabriel has always felt loved by Sam but this is different. This is lust, want, desire.
Finally, finally, after what seems like an age, he pulls up in his driveway with Sam right behind him. He gets out of the car and fishes around for his keys while he waits for his boyfriend. Sam guides him to the door with one hand on his ass.
He fumbles with the lock for a few seconds, itching all over. His skin feels too hot, too tight, and the arousal that courses through him is overwhelming.
He almost falls into the house. Sam is right behind him still and the moment the door slams shut, Gabriel finds himself pressed in the wall of the hallway. Sam is suddenly everywhere all at once, lifting him effortlessly and hooking his arms securely under his thighs. Gabriel whimpers unashamedly as Sam starts kissing him, rough and wanting. It’s almost too much.
Sam takes what he wants without asking, plundering Gabriel’s mouth and touching everywhere he can reach. Gabriel has no complaints, and reciprocates whenever he has the breath or coordination to manage. Mostly he’s just along for the ride.
He feels Sam groping and squeezing his ass and he shivers, pushing back against his hands. He attempts to reach down and adjust himself in his pants and his hand meets an impressive wet spot of pre-cum. He wiggles and tries to relieve the pressure but it’s pretty useless, because Sam is holding him in a grip of iron.
Neither of them are expecting the sharp ripping noise that comes seconds later. There’s a shocked silence, broken only by their laboured breathing.
“Fuck.” Gabriel whispers. “Did it just-“
“Yeah. Fucking hell, Gabe.” Sam pants out. “You just split your pants.”
Gabriel whimpers softly. Everything is just too much. He pulls Sam in and mashes their mouths together desperately, clamping one hand down over his cock. He thinks about the look in Sam’s eyes, the desire and hunger he saw there.
And then he creams his jeans like a horny teenager.
They stand there for a few moments. Gabriel is a wreck, damp with sweat and panting for breath. Sam looks shell shocked. Gingerly, he cups Gabriel’s ass, slipping his fingers under the torn seam of his pants. He spreads Gabriel’s cheeks gently and circles his rim with one finger.
“I want to fuck you. Like this.” He says, voice wrecked and broken. He buries his face into Gabriel’s neck and inhales. “There’s a sachet of lube in my wallet.”
Gabriel tries to laugh. It comes out like a moan. He slips his hand into Sam’s pocket and finds the lube. Everything is a blur. He’s never felt like this before, so wanted, so desired.
He barely feels Sam’s fingers slip into him with practised ease. He’s dazed and dreamy, dropping his head onto Sam’s shoulder and keening softly when the oversensitivity gets too much for him. Sam goes slowly. He’s gentle. Gabriel feels so wanted.
He’s barely conscious when Sam slides into him. He has never felt like this before. Sam takes his time, finally shuddering to a stop as he holds Gabriel close.
The raw tenderness of it makes Gabriel’s heart turn over in his chest. Too much, too intense. Not enough.
“Hello, Sleeping Beauty.” Sam murmurs into Gabriel’s ear. Gabriel yawns and blinks at Sam. Their eyes lock and Gabriel sighs softly. They’re in bed, hours after. He still hasn’t got his breath back.
“Sorry I jumped you in the street. Couldn’t help myself.” Sam says, sheepishly. “You made such a picture like that, bending over with your ass on display.”
Gabriel glares at him. “Don’t you dare apologise, Sam. That was… Incredible.” He shifts closer and presses into Sam’s warmth. “I’ve never felt anything like that… I… I felt so wanted. I was thinking about the way you looked at me, when I came. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. You looked like you wanted to eat me alive. I felt so sexy.”
“You are sexy.” Sam mutters, kissing Gabriel’s neck softly. “When you came, right after you split those pants. That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Gabriel grins and blushes lightly. “Splitting the pants was inevitable. I gained like, ten pounds while you were away.”
Sam’s hand curls around and cups Gabriel’s ass.
“I’m glad. It looks damn good on you.”
“So, you’ve got an ass kink and I’ve got some kind of praise kink.” Gabriel laughs.
“Nah.. Pretty sure I’ve just got a Gabriel kink.” Sam murmurs, his eyes darkening a little as he traces Gabriel’s taint.
Gabriel swallows and looks up at his man.
“Really? Are you sure? I think maybe you need to show me again.”
“Oh, don’t worry baby. I’ll show you.” Sam mutters, trailing his eyes down Gabriel’s body and making him shiver. “You’re sexiest man alive and you’re gonna know it by the time I’m done with you.”