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This is - URP - Better than PoKEmon, Morty!

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When RIck first asked for Morty's bio-signature, as well as a few scans to make sure that the "form" was perfect, Morty didn't think much of it. He was well used to Rick's shenanigans and knew that with time Rick would let him in on whatever he was making for their next adventure or whatever.

"Aww geez, Rick," Morty groaned as Rick dragged him away from the couch. "I'm k-kinda in the middle of something," he said as he cautiously made sure that his Nintendo 3DS wouldn't hit the ground. "I'm trying to catch a Muh-Mudkip."

Rick, completely apathetic to his grandson's objections, continued to drag him off to the garage to start their hijinks. "Oh p-please Morty, what we're making today is waaaaaaaaay *burp* better than that, besides who the fuck tries to catch a Mudkip, Morty?! You get it at the beginning of the game. W-what, you're such a bad trainer that yours didn't want to be with you anymore?"

"N-no," Morty stuttered, face turning a slight shade of red. "I-I-I just want ano-another one." He picked himself up from the dirty floor of Rick's makeshift lab in the garage. "L-l-lemme just save re-real quick." Morty fiddled with his portable console and shortly after closed his 3DS, putting it in his pocket.

Rick was overcome with excitement. He grabbed his grandson by the shoulder and waves his hand in front of him. "There's no time, Morty, you're not going to need THIS stupid thing." Rick swiftly snatched the 3DS from Morty's pocket and snaps it in half, repeatedly stomps it into the ground, and then brings out a flamethrower and burns the remaining pieces. "Say goodbye to your precious Mudkip, Morty! Huh, Looks like it's weak against Fire Types after all. Heheh, get it Morty, that's a Pokemon joke. Cuz Mudkip's a water type…..Yeah whatever. Anyway -"

Morty could only raise his hands to his head in shock. "What the hell, Rick!? What the hell!?" Morty demanded, yelling over the flames. "Tha-that was a b-birthday present fro-from Mom and Dad!"

He didn't want to cry over it but Morty had invested a good 78 hours on his file. 78 hours of his life and has nothing to show for it. He could feel his eyes beginning to water.

"Wow, you're crying over just a video game, Morty? I didn't know I had a neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd for a grandson. Now THIS." Rick pulled something that looked similar to a 3DS out of his coat pocket, but it had a few too many tentacles sticking out of it and a Plumbus for a control stick. "THIS isn't just a video game, Morty!" He hands the 3DS(?) to Morty to start playing. Morty cautiously inspects the system, knowing his grandfather's track record for making things that kill people. But then the tentacles suddenly wrap around Morty's arms and his fingers are strapped to the buttons.

Morty tried to scream but the tentacles wrap around his mouth before he could even take a breath. He stared at Rick with pleading eyes who's just drooling beside him, occasionally taking a sip from his flask hidden in his coat pocket, and acting like the device he just handed him wasn't about to kill him from lack of air. Morty wondered if he should struggle, since he's seen a lot of porn to know that this might just be going somewhere that he doesn't think he wants to happen. At least, not in front of Rick.


Rick rolled his eyes at his grandson, rolling on the floor struggling with the 3DS?. "Jeez Morty, you're acting like you've never played a Plumtendo ZDS before. And you're supposed to be the nerd of the family. You just have to turn it on and off again like this. That's like basic stuff Morty." Rick bends down and pulls at the Plumbus jutting out of the ZDS.

The tentacle covering his mouth freed Morty's mouth, allowing for Morty to scream, "I'm an earth nerd, not a galactic nerd! I didn't even know Roy was a video game until after I died!" He continued to struggle against the restraints, which were now oozing out a warm pink slime. "Oh gross." Morty cringed as it got all over his clothes, making him shiver. "What even is a Plumtendo ZDS anyway, and why does it want to kill me?"

"Well, Morty, I'm glad you asked!" Rick said in his best infomercial voice. "The Plumtendo ZDS is the newest gaming console from Plumtendo, the makers of such games as "The Legend of Birdperson" and "Super Squanch Brothers. This device brings joy to millions of sentient beings across the galaxy!"

"B-Birdperson is in a video game?" Morty asked, surprised. The warm ooze was being absorbed into his skin, making the tentacles seem like an extension of him to play whatever game is in the strange, alien device.

"Yes he was, and now so are you!" Rick then shoves a game box into Morty's face. On the cover of the game was a group of Mortys, but they all had different designs. One had no skin at all, another was covered in cats, and there was one that was literally an egg. "Introducing the newest megahit game of 2016: Pocket Morty!"

Morty was so confused. "Wh-wha-what is this?"

"Only the best game ever, Morty!" Rick flailed his arms around in excitement, a little drool coming out of his mouth "So you know that lame ass, unoriginal company Nintendo?"

Morty remembered the last time Rick mentioned Nintendo, with the memory parasites. "The one that didn't give you free stuff?"

Rick angrily squinted his eyes at Morty and continued his rant, "Yeah them. Stupid, unoriginal jerks. I-It's like they don't want to make money! It's free advertising! Do you know how many people watch this show? Anyway, yeah so they didn't give me any copies of Pokemon SO I decided to take matters into my own hands and BAM! POCKET MORTYYYYYY! You play as an extremely attractive scientist and travel the world catching Mortys and having them fight each other to the death. It's Pokemon but BETTER, Morty! Think of all the money we can get with this! Pocket Morty in every single household! POCKET MORTY 100 YEARS!"

Morty was kinda impressed. "Pokemon, but with Mortys… Wait, did you say fight to the death?"

"Details, Morty, details! And oh man do you know how long it took me to wrangle up all those Mortys and cram them into the game cartridge? Let me tell you, Mortys don't just grow on trees - well except in the universe where they do, but you get the picture. We're gonna be rich, Morty, RICH! So c'mon turn on the Plumtendo and get started!"

"Rick! You-you-you can't just make a game starring… me-s…. and have me have them kill each other! That's fucked up!" Morty was horrified. He gestured with his arms, tentacles still attached around them. "Besides, I-I-I-I-I don't even know how to play with this thing! It-It'll never work on Earth!"

"Not to worry Morty! I made a smartphone version of the game too so everyone on Earth can play. Check your pocket!"

Morty pulled up the App Store on his phone and searched for his own name. He found the balloon game his father loves to play, then found the game starring him underneath. "Wh-what? Already a million downloads? And good reviews?" He didn't think it would already be this successful. People really had that much fun having him fight himself to the death?

Rick grabbed Morty's phone and celebrated, "Yeaaaaaaaah we're at the top of the charts! Suck it Angry Birds!" Rick's phone suddenly rang, "Get Schwifty" blaring off the device. Morty rolled his eyes at the ringtone. "Yoooooo, Birdperson, what's up? A Pocket Morty anime series? A toy line? AND a whole set of hug pillows?! Sign off on all of them!"

Morty questioned his grandfather's motives as said grandfather continued to babble on the phone. "I-I-I-I-I-I don't know about this, Rick. Don't you, y'know, think you're letting this get to your head? This is a lot to take in."

Rick started flailing his arms around, knocking Morty to the floor by accident. Afraid that he might get hit in the face, Morty stayed on the ground as Rick exclaimed, "Nonsense, M-M-Morty this is the beauty of CRAP - urp - italism! We're gonna get - urp - all the money and then beat the Man at their own game. And then WE - urp - become the Man, Morty. Pocket Morty 100 years Morty Pocket Morty X and Y Pocket Morty Red and Blue 100 years Pocket Morty Coliseum! We're gonna be rich!"

Just as Morty was getting back on his feet, an explosion shook the garage and knocked him back down. The garage door was thrown open by the blast and a mysterious yet menacing swat team stormed in. They wore orange mech suits with arm cannons. Morty spotted a strange mushroom badge on all of them. Rick by reflex dove for his blaster and screamed, "You're never taking me back!" as he always does when confronted by authority figures.

Morty followed Rick and dove for cover behind the knocked table Rick pushed aside for that purpose. Morty eyed the gunmen. The swat team had a familiar look to them. "Hey, Rick, these guys look a lot like some characters in my videogames."

The swat team began scouting the area and knocking over random stuff off the shelves.

One of them began to speak into a mic on their suit. "World 1-1 is secure. Bring in the Princess."

Rick and Morty peeked from behind their cover and saw a giant spaceship that had a fox insignia plastered on the side. Dust was kicked up as the spaceship landed. The soldiers stood at attention and made a path for the passenger in the ship as they stepped out. Through the dust walked a kind looking old Japanese man. He was wearing a blazer with a pin of three golden triangles and a bowtie with a red Mushroom design.

Morty began to squeal and ran towards the figure. "OH MY GOSH IT'S SHIGERU MIYAMOTO FROM NINTENDO I LOVE YOUR WORK PLEASE SIGN MY FACE -"

But before Morty could get to him, Miyamoto bitch slapped him and knocked him out of the way. He pointed at Rick. "Rick Sanchez of Earth, we sue you for taking our intellectual property, remarketing and selling it for your own benefit."

Morty glared at his grandfather as he rubbed his cheek where the hand connected. "Oh, way to go, Rick, you've brought on the wrath of Nintendo."

Rick glared at Miyamoto. "The wrath of Nintendo? These guys got nothing on me, Morty. These guys wanna sue me, they can bring it! I once sued an entire galaxy for their coffee being too hot. We'll see you in court, bi - urp - tch!"


The next day Rick and Morty were in an intergalactic courtroom wearing their best suits. Morty is fidgeting with his notes he wrote last night and sweating while Rick fiddled on his phone, sipped his coffee and had his feet up on the desk.

Morty had stayed up all night learning everything he could about law and had built the perfect case. He was so proud of himself and couldn't wait to present it. The judge, Squanchy in judges robes, slammed his gavel to bring order to the court. "Squanch in the court. Miyamoto you may squanch your case now."

"Your Honor, it has come to our attention that Mr. Sanchez has created a game that uses essentially the same elements as one of our main franchises beloved by all across the galaxy."

Squanchy nodded. "Rick, Morty, how do you squanch?"

Morty stood up. "Eh-hem," he cleared his throat, sweating. He was about to present and not let his research go to waste. "Your Honor - "

Rick stands up, pocketing his phone. "Doesn't matter, I just bought Nintendo with all the money made from Pocket Mortys." He slammed the gavel. "Order in the court!"

Miyamoto was alarmed. "Wait, what - "

Squanchy nodded. "The squanch is adjourned."

Rick jumped on the table and pointed at Miyamoto. "YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF WHEN YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME FREE STUFF. It's Ricktendo now, bi - urp - tch!"

Morty frowned. "Rick! I wasn't even able to present my case! I worked really hard on it!"

Rick waved his hand. "Pshh, it's fine, Morty. Now you can have all the mudkips you want."

Morty dropped his note cards and fell to the floor in defeat as Rick sipped his flask and left with everyone else.

Morty shrugged in an empty courtroom. "Maybe I can get free plushies now. I've always wanted a giant Mudkip doll."