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Killing Plants

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Phil Lester, AKA AmazingPhil, was a big time YouTube vlogger/BBC Radio 1 presenter, who lived with his best friend/collaborator/co-presenter Dan Howell, AKA danisnotonfire. He had an addiction to colours, gaming, plants, Anime and baking programs. Dan had an addiction to black, Gaming, leather, anime and baking programs, so they worked well together. However, they lived together, they worked together, they wrote a book together, they go on tour together, they go to conventions together, every once in a while they both needed time apart.

So, Phil took advantage of some free time to go on holiday with his family. It would be great. Dan had decided not to go anywhere, as he wasn't that close to his family, so he'd be home all of the time, as he rarely goes out anyway ("Why would I go out when I can literally order anything straight to our door, and just avoid any unnecessary sunlight" "You need sunlight to survive, Dan!" "No I don't, I can just order some vitamin D tablets!") so he can easily water Phil's house plants. ("You have an addiction!")

It was all sorted, Phil was all packed to go visit his family, it was wonderful! So off he went, occasionally tweeting about things he'd seen, and checking up on what disasters Dan had gotten himself into. There were quite a few already. Oh well, he'd be back home in a few weeks. Dan could survive until then.

A few weeks later, Phil was texting Dan from the taxi, as he travelled from the airport to the apartment, so he knew that Dan had managed to survive. Soon enough, he arrived outside his apartment, and paid the driver and added "Keep the change." And was rewarded with the driver helping him get his luggage from the boot. Then, Phil was making his way through the building, up many flights of stairs, until he arrived at his front door and pulled out his keys. With a smile, he unlocked the front door, pushed it open and walked in. He hauled his luggage in, then closed and locked the door behind him, then took a deep breath before making his way upstairs. It wasn't long until the smile dropped off of his face, replaced with a look of horror as his stared at his beloved house plant. It was dark and wilted, not a single drop of life could be seen. "Dan!!!" He yelled as he white-knuckled his luggage and ran up the stairs. As he got to the top, Dan was just approaching with a happy smile.

"Hey, you're ba- what''s wrong?" He asked warily when he noticed Phil's expression. Phil continued glaring darkly at Dan as he set the luggage down then stood up straight, and continued to glare. "Uh-oh, what did I do." Phil swung his hand around to point towards the stairs.

"You killed my plant!!" He yelled and Dan's eyes widened.

"You have a plant." He spoke as though he'd just come to a realisation, then his eyes managed to widen further. "You have plants." Suddenly, Phil pushed passed Dan and rushed towards the lounge, Dan following after him. "Phil wait!" He called, but Phil carried on. As he rushed into the lounge, he nearly crashed into Phil, who'd stopped suddenly. Peering over his friend's shoulder, Dan saw dead plant in the corner. "Phil-"

"You killed all of them! Even the one in the self-watering pot-" He yelled, turning to face Dan, pausing when he saw the Cactus, or rather, the dead cactus. "-and the cactus! How the fuck?" He turned to glare at Dan, only to see the younger man gaping at him. "What?!"

"You just swore..."


"Right, sorry. I'm so sorry, honestly Phil! I completely forgot, I'm so sorry!!"

"You forgot about my plants, which you see every time you're in here?" Phil demanded in disbelief. "And every time you go downstairs to get the mail? I find that hard to believe, and I remember seeing a tweet of yours about 'wouldn't it be a shame if you forgot to water them and they all died.' Do you remember that?"

"I didn't mean to, Phil! It was an accident, I swear!" Dan insisted, maintaining eye contact with Phil to express his sincerity. "I'm sorry!"

"I'm buying more plants." Phil stated before storming off, grabbing his luggage then went to his room, slamming the door behind him. Dan stood in place, unsure of what to do.

"I should tweet about this." He thought out loud, before making his way over to his laptop.

After telling the internet about his fuck up, Dan went to the kitchen to make Phil a coffee as a peace offering. He ordered Phil's favourite take-out food, and set up Buffy on Netflix. He checked twitter and replied to some people before picking up the coffee and walked over to Phil's bedroom and knocked on the door. "Phil? Can I come in?" There was no reply so he added: "I brought coffee."

"Fine." Phil's muffled voice replied and Dan smiled softly as he opened the door. As he walked in, Phil was sprawled face down on the bed, but slowly rolled over to grab the coffee from Dan. 

"Here you go," Dan smiled gently as Phil took the mug from him, then sat down on the edge of Phil's bed. "I ordered some food, your favourite. And I got Buffy up on Netflix, just pick an episode and I'll put it on."

"The Hyena episode first." Phil decided after a short pause of thought, then took a sip of his coffee. "That's good." He reluctantly admitted as Dan had made the beverage just how Phil liked it. Dan smiled in response before standing up. "I'll go set it up. You can either come through and we'll start it now, or you can wait in here for a while. Let me know if you need anything." Phil nodded and Dan left.

Phil took another sip of his coffee as he thought over it. As angry as he was that Dan killed his plants, he felt bad for losing his temper the way he did. Though, no could really blame him for reacting that way, right? Well, that still didn't make it right. After a small internal debate, Phil decided to apologise for reacting as badly as he did... tomorrow. 

For now, he was going to enjoy the night in with his best friend after such a tiring journey. As much as he enjoyed the adventure of trying new food in foreign places, he did miss the comforting familiarity of food from home. Plus, Dan said he'd ordered Phil's favourite, and set up Buffy. Phil had already ordered new house plants before Dan arrived, and he had decided to host a plant funeral, return them all to the land they came from, so there wasn't much to be angry at Dan for, but Phil was never trusting him with his plants again.

Phil finished off his coffee then hauled himself off of the bed. He found Dan in the kitchen, typing away on his phone as he stood near the boiling kettle, then looked up when he noticed Phil. "Hey, do you want another coffee?" He offered with a smile, but Phil could tell that the younger male was uncertain.

"Yes please." Phil replied, and Dan seemed relieved as he took the mug from him.

Within minutes, the were sat together on the couch, watching Buffy. "We should go to a zoo." Phil stated out of the blue as the episode played.

"What?" Dan asked, confused at the sudden declaration.

"The zoo. We should go." Phil stated again, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Alright," Dan shrugged in response. "But it better be a good one, and we better not go into a hyena exhibit." Phil grinned at how easy it was to get Dan to go out. Maybe it was because Dan felt bad, it might be different tomorrow, after Phil tells him that he's forgiven. He'll just have to wait and see. Soon, there was a knock at the front door, signalling that the food had arrived. The younger of the pair immediately shot off to retrieve and pay for it, while the elder paused the show, then made his way to the kitchen. Soon, Dan arrived and gave Phil an odd look. "You're not getting plates, are you Phil?" Dan asked, voice edging on a whine. "I thought we could just eat from the boxes, y'know? Save washing up."

Phil rolled him eyes. "Yes, we are, but we still need cutlery, Dan."

"Right, of course, yeah." Dan babbled as he set the food bag down on the kitchen counter. He disposed of all the unnecessary packaging, and sorted the food into three groups. 'Dan' 'Phil' and 'Share'. It wasn't long until they were back on the couch, watching Buffy and enjoying their food. They had just arrived at the scene of the pig's death and Phil frowned sadly.

"That poor little pig." 

"Phil, you are literally eating pork right now!" Dan exclaimed with a wild gesture, nearly sending food flying in the process.

"That's different!" Phil protested quickly. "This pig was a grown up, it lived a long, fulfilling life and was killed painlessly and quickly!" He argued "That poor pig was only young, and was mercilessly eaten alive!"

"Fine. I'll give you that one." Dan conceded with a sigh, and continued watching the show, but he couldn't keep the smile off of his face at having his best friend back.