What did I miss…
Almost every important appointment scheduled for OUR wedding is on days I can’t go because of chemo or blood work or some other kind of doctors appointment. It’s not fair to you to have to do it all, and I would like some say.
Oh, I didn’t mean for it to seem like that! We just haven’t had time to talk about it. I promise I haven’t made any bookings or put money on anything. We just need to sit down together. And make some plans.
I know. I can’t do anything on Monday’s period. Those are hell days you know this. Wednesdays I usually can do stuff in the afternoons, but even then sometimes it’s iffy because of clinic lines. I just... seeing all this and all we have to do just makes me wish now we could just go and do it tomorrow at the courthouse, and wait until I’m better for the big thing.
Yeah, I… Blaine I wasn’t trying to leave you out, you know, but some of these things, they can’t be so last minute, and they already are, but if you just don’t want to do a wedding, then, I can understand that. Now is just… there’s too much going on. I told you a few weeks ago that the only thing I really cared about was our family being there and I still mean that. If you want to get married at the courthouse, we can do that, I just want a chance to tell our families first.
Kurt stop. Here’s what I want. I want to marry you in Central Park with our closest family and friends. I would like a small cake baked by Nana, some food, and most of all intimate moments filled with our love. We can get tuxes from D&G, and tell the attendants where to shop, but I want our day to be perfectly us, not rushed, not a huge production, and most of all no cause of stress for us or anyone else.
Whatever you want, I’ll be happy. You make me happy. All of that other stuff is just stuff to me. I love you.
Baby, can we at least go taste cake together? It can be a date.
Are you sure? Blaine, are you serious? Because, I mean, Nana...
Nana’s cakes are moist and delicious so I want to steal flavor ideas. I know that’s horrible but nothing says you have to buy if you try. Unless of course you have a particular request for a strawberry infused something or other cheesecake and well Nana is the only one that can do that right!
Okay, yes! This is going to be so much fun! Blaine, you are just, perfect.
You are too.
So after syncing my calendar with Kurt’s and looking at our schedules it looks like the wedding isn’t going to be as easy to plan as I thought. Starting Monday I have a week full of nothing but six hour chemo treatments, then the following week starts blood work and more chemo plus Kurt has extended rehearsals. If it were up to me it wouldn’t be a big deal, and we could just go get married at the courthouse. He know this I’ve made it clear, but he was so sad sounding, and it’s so important to him. It’s important to me that he has the wedding of his dreams, so I’m thinking that Jessica and I might have to get a little creative. Hopefully we can pull this off.
Finn: Dude, I have a huge freaking problem. Or maybe it’s a small problem. Depends how you wanna explain it I guess. You cannot tell my wife or my brother.
Finn: You know how I was all I have a tux, I’m good, no big deal? I’m an idiot. It doesn’t fit no matter what I try.
Blaine: Like to big or too small. I’ve lost so much weight from chemo that mine’s getting taken in.
Finn: Yeah, mine’s too big too. I even tried with a belt just to see and the pants still fell off. I didn’t know I lost weight but I guess. Like maybe sympathy for you? I don’t know man. I just don’t think I have enough time to get it taken in.
Blaine: I have a friend that might can do it. Get over here asap with it and I’ll call her. Sympathy for me? Does that include drinking green smoothies and skipping on the donuts?
Finn: Seriously? That’d be awesome. Rachel’s leaving for work pretty quick so I’ll get to you as soon as she’s gone. No… I mean for a while I think it just meant puking my guts out at random and not really eating for days at a time because food sounded gross. So I guess you could include skipping donuts in that. But I definitely didn’t drink smoothies.
Blaine: Dude stress kills. Are you okay now with the whole random puking thing? Jessica is a whiz with her own clothes so she probably can. I’ll call her, and if not she might have a grandma or know of a 24 hour place. She’s my PA for a reason.
Finn: Yeah, I don’t really do that anymore. I mean, I guess it wasn’t totally random. I know I puked for a good three days after that stupid dinner at my parents house. Like every time I thought about it. I still don’t have too much of an appetite but it’s getting better. She sounds like a keeper. I’ll pay her a lot. Well…Like maybe a little more than normal tailoring for the rush.
Blaine: Haha, I called she said she could do it just to get to my place asap so she can get some sleep tonight! Nate’s coming over to watch the game too while Kurt’s out so if you are still here when he get’s back it’ll just look like I invited you over to watch the game :)
Finn: Solid man, thank you. I’m heading that way now. Normally she’s chill but like the whole unprepared thing just would not fly. You know?
Blaine: Oh I know. I get it completely. Cooper also just texted and said he will be here too. Maybe we should play poker and smoke.
Finn: That’d be awesome. I’ll see you shortly. Further proof I’m an idiot? I grabbed the shirt and tie that go with it to. Just…why would I even need those?
Blaine: actually good because if those are to huge we can get you a new shirt fast.
Finn: The shirt’s okay I think. The biggest problem is my waist. Like it doesn’t actually hold my pants up at all.
Blaine: I can relate. Just grab all of it and hurry up :)
Kurt was out running errands. He’d been out all morning, stopping by the cleaners, grocery shopping, and even getting caught up at the bakery buying cupcakes. The day had been more than just a little productive and Kurt found himself smiling and chatting with random strangers. It felt good to be out and about and getting things done. He even snapped a few pictures as he went, making random posts on Twitter about everything from the sax player on the corner to the allure of sugary baked goods at Babycakes.
Blaine had been lazing around the apartment most of the day. He was tired and his energy levels were low, but he had felt like being social. He also had a reason to have friends over, and that was to check and make sure that when he started his latest drug trial, someone would be there to see if he had a bad reaction. The frantic text from Finn about his pants had made Blaine slightly worried. It sucked to be stressed out, losing weight, and relatively unhappy overall, so he was determined to give Finn something to look forward to. Jess had agreed to do the pinning and last minute alterations and pretty soon Finn was standing on a stool in his living room while Jess pinned Finn’s pants for a final time. “Finn dude you should drink this,” Blaine laughed and motioned to a glass of green smoothie, “it will help you gain some weight.”
Finn eyed the drink and tried not to gag but also tried not to move because those pins she was using were totally a bitch if she, say, stabbed you. Probably on purpose. ”Not gonna help me if I can’t keep it down. It is just not right for a drink to be that color, dude.”
He rolled his eyes, “dude just try it. You eat salad and stuff all the time. It’s better texture wise.” Blaine made his way to flip on the TV and looked over at Jess and smiled, “but whatever you do don’t move or she will stab you like a voodoo doll.”
Jess smirked lightly at Blaine’s comment and looked at him coolly, “I’ll stab you like a voodoo doll mister, if you don’t quit teasing me.”
“Ha, you stab me, I puke on your shoes,” Blaine teased and flipped through the channels to find the game before leaning his head on Nate’s shoulder, “and you mister can’t seem to let Jessica go anywhere alone.”
“Hey,” Nate playfully gasped, “someone has to watch her or she’ll hook up with the hot doorman in our building.”
Finn chuckled at the two’s banter but gave Blaine a kind of dirty look. ”I know I eat salad. I don’t drink salad, “ he looked down at Jess where she was doing something to the bottom of the pants. ”Yeah, I freaking noticed. How would you like me to explain marks on my body to Rachel? She’ll totally notice.”
“Fine whatever,” Blaine huffed playfully, “you are such a whiner, and I know she will notice.” He pulled out the bottle he picked up earlier in the day and read the instructions before grabbing a lighter and putting the joint between his lips, “this is fucking crazy.” He sucked in a breath of air and breathed out slowly allowing the smoke to fill the air.
Finn snorted out a laugh. ”Yeah, I mean… I’ve been in rock bands. Never really thought you’d embrace the whole drug thing before me, man. Totally nuts.” He looked at Blaine, just waiting for the guy to start hacking up a lung. He’d been around too many people doing this stuff not to wait for it. ”You know you’re gonna need more than a smoothie to eat after you smoke that for a while, right? Me and Puck only did it a couple times but we used to order, like, three or four pizzas ahead of time.”
Blaine laughed and took a hit before coughing painfully, “shit that burns medicinal dose or not.” He smiled, “I know I have some frozen pizza and nachos in the kitchen. It’s game day.” His phone beeped after a minute and he sat the joint down and fiddled through.
Kurt: I think I want the lemon one. So many choices…
Blaine: Hey babe. I know you are at baby cakes cause the pictures you are taking and putting up are delicious looking.
Blaine: Lemon is good. Lemon is REALLY GOOD…
Kurt: Hmm, I thought so ;)I’ll get those then.
Blaine: :) I’m smiling ear to ear on that note. See you later. Love you. Can you add one carrot cake cupcake to that order too?
Kurt: I sure can! Love you too, babe.
Blaine: Okay. I’ll see you later. BTW Finn, Cooper, Nate, Jess and I are all here watching the game for a bit before Nate, Jess, and Cooper leave for stuff.
Jessica stood up and tugged on the pants one more time, surveying her handiwork; Finn scowled when he heard her mutter something about ‘skinny ass.’ It was the first time he’d ever been called that exactly. ”Maybe I should hit that with you.” He’d been half-joking all along but now he kind of wondered because none of those food options really sounded appealing. He just… seriously he wasn’t hungry. Maybe he had an ulcer or something. ”How’s that working out for you over there? I don’t know CPR if you keep choking.”
Blaine turned and looked at Finn, “this is nothing cough wise that is. Go change, and roll one with me if you brought your stash.” He looked over at Nate who was looking at both of them like they lost their minds and turned back to Finn, “hurry up. Pre-games almost over.”
Finn looked at Jess and without a word, she just nodded that he was in the clear. He was half-sure he could get his pants off without poking himself somewhere sensitive. Stash. Yeah, he’d told Blaine a long time ago that it wouldn’t be a big deal to get him some weed, and yeah, he’d made the bass player roll it and bag it but… he wouldn’t really call two joints a stash. And it’d been a really, really long time since he’d done this. Like… pre-Rachel. Pre-a lot of things. Whatever it was, though, he brought it back out to the living room. ”I feel like this is weird.”
“And I don’t. I’m getting high for science,” Blaine said took another drag off his joint and sighed. He moved back to the kitchen and went and grabbed a bowl of chips, a thing of ranch dip, and a bag of assorted sliced vegetables before sending Kurt another quick text.
Blaine: While you are out if you haven’t been to whole foods already can you add that apple chai juice to the list. It’s the naked brand.
Kurt: Already have it… I read your mind! It’s like we’re married or something ;)
“Today is about having fun and not worrying if you feel weird don’t do it, but if it helps me eat I’m doing it,” he said as he stepped back out into the living room.
Finn laughed and shook his head. ”Then what am I doing it for? ’Cause I can? Or maybe it’s, like, hand holding. He reached over and grabbed Blaine’s lighter. ”If Rachel finds out about this, she’s gonna be seriously pissed.” He tucked it into his mouth and he could almost remember what he was doing. And he still didn’t cough as bad as Blaine had, so whatever right?
Kurt was still standing in line at the bakery when Rachel texted him. Apparently she’d seen the cupcake pictures too.
Rachel: Seeing those pictures of yours gave me the best idea!
Rachel: Since Finn is already hanging out with Blaine, watching the game, why don’t we make a day of it too? I can bring some drinks and snack, you can bring the dessert, and while they get sucked into the game we can have some girlfriend time.
Kurt: I love it, I’ll be sure and bring plenty home. See you soon!
Rachel: See you!
Blaine smiled tiredly and took another hit. He could feel the drug making him lighter, more mellow even, but the most unique aspect of it was the fact he really was starting to feel hungry. He grabbed handful of the potato chips and stuck a few in his mouth, “Yeah she would be seriously pissed. I think Kurt might be too, then again it is for science. That’s the argument I’m sticking with because I have the bottle.”
Rachel balanced her tray of goodies in one hand, tucking the carafe of lemonade she’d brought under her arm as she knocked on the door. She could hear the television and she knew it was unlikely anyone could hear her over it so she pulled out her spare key and used it to just unlock the door and let herself in. As soon as she closed the door behind her she was hit by the unusual smell of weed. She turned immediately to sit the snacks and drinks aside, stomping into the livingroom to find her husband. Rachel was already furious and she didn’t even know for sure what was going on here. But she was going to find out. She found them lounging on the sofa, both of them obviously high.
She snatched the joint out of Finn’s hands and snuffed it out in the ashtray on the coffee table. “Have you lost your mind? What are thinking?” Her eyes flitted back and forth between Finn and Blaine trying desperately to come up with a reason for what they were doing. She couldn’t come up with a single one. “I can’t believe you’re putting that filth in your body, Finn! You either, Blaine! No matter what’s going on with you, this isn’t the way to handle your problems and you know that.” she was standing over Finn now with her hands on her hips, fuming. “I don’t know how this got started or why, but we’re leaving right this minute!” Rachel tugged Finn by the hand and shot one more accusatory glare at Blaine. “Kurt’s going to be here soon and he’s not going to be happy to find you getting high with all your druggie friends.”
Blaine snorted a laugh and looked at Rachel before standing up. “Why would he care? It’s for science.” He tossed the prescription bottle at her before leaving for the kitchen, “and Finn’s entitled to do what he wants with his body on his time.”
Rachel’s eyes narrowed as she dropped Finn’s hand and stormed over to Blaine, “he will care, and you aren’t dragging my husband into your drug use. You may think you’re doing it for science or whatever the hell they are calling it now, but Finn isn’t going to participate and you of all people should know better than to make him your number one druggy buddy.”
Kurt was juggling all his bags from whole foods and the box of cupcakes when he managed to get the door open and slip in. He knew to expect the place to be full of people, but he hadn’t expected to see this. He nearly dropped it all at the scene in the living room. ”Oh my god, ” he gasped. There was a full blown fight going on and Kurt couldn’t figure out why until Blaine jumped back in, fixing Rachel with a hard look.
“Druggie buddy?” Blaine looked at her, “I didn’t buy him what he brought over. I have a prescription.” He noticed Kurt step into the apartment and slumped back on the couch.
“What the hell is going on?” His eyes fell on the ashtray on the coffee table and the crushed joint laying in it. It didn’t take too much time to reach the conclusion that Rachel was melting down and lines were being drawn with Finn somewhere in the middle. Jess and Nate looked lost for words and Kurt was grateful they were keeping calm. He wasn’t so sure he could do the same if Rachel was going to keep yelling at his husband.
Finn shot Blaine some shut up eyes. ”Thanks a lot, dude.” He turned to Rachel. “Just.. babe… slow down a second. What… first things first. What are you doing here?”
“Everyone just shut up a minute,” Blaine barked out before they could all start yelling. ”look Finn came over to hang out. We wanted to try something that would make me feel less like shit. Okay? I have a prescription; we found some weed. It’s a gateway drug whatever, but Rachel put pants back on for a minute and relax. Jesus Christ.” He looked back at Finn, “sorry man.”
Kurt understood the prescription part but he wasn’t sure how he felt about coming home to a fight. He didn’t appreciate being told to shut up either, but maybe that was less directed at him and more directed at Finn and Rachel. Kurt turned and set the cupcakes on a nearby table, the bags on the floor and crossed his arms, looking at each of them in turn, waiting for whatever it was Blaine was about to say.
Blaine turned to look at Kurt as his arms crossed across his chest before turning back to Rachel, “secondly I don’t appreciate you coming into my home and calling your husband my druggie buddy before you get your facts straight. Saying that just makes me sound like some strung out junkie. I don’t need you lecturing me on what could and couldn’t happen because frankly I don’t want your opinion right now. I want you to leave and let Finn and I continue our game and guy time without pot.
Finn kind of gave Blaine a dirty look, again, and put his hand on Rachel’s shoulder. ”What, are you high or something?” He had to seriously try not to laugh, but he was successful. Rachel was completely pissed. Now Blaine was all fired up. He looked over his shoulder at Kurt. ”Sorry. Just, sorry, Kurt. Hey.” He looked back at Rachel. ”The whole thing started ‘cause I said I wasn’t hungry. Seriously. And because my pants were falling off. It’s really not; it isn’t a big deal. I promise.”
Finn looked pretty concerned over the whole thing so when he finally acknowledged that Kurt was standing there now, Kurt gave him a little nod in greeting. Clearly there was a lot that Kurt was missing here and it was hard not to jump all over all of them to just explain it already. “So when were you going to tell me any of this, Blaine?” Kurt asked as calmly as he could.
“Tonight,” Blaine said looking at him and taking the bottle from Rachel and handing it to him, “here.”
Kurt took the bottle from Blaine and turned it over in his hand, reading the label. It had Blaine’s name on it and was clearly from his doctor. So it was a perscription. Not that he needed that as proof that Blaine wasn’t some strung out drug dealer. It just helped to fill in some of what had happened here. Rachel didn’t seem as easily mollified.
Rachel planted her hands on her hips and growled softly, “You are the worst, Blaine. Don’t you know that people are born predisposed to drug addictions? Finn’s father? Does any of this ring a bell? We’ve all been friends for years. You…” she blinked her watery eyes and squared her shoulders before answering Finn’s questions, “Kurt and I decided to surprise you both with cupcakes and, well, I guess the surprise was on us both.”
Blaine looked at her with a combination of shock and confusion. He didn’t know anything about Finn’s father, just that he had died. It was something Finn didn’t like talking about and Blaine never pressed. He looked at the other man again before he stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door.
Kurt watched Blaine disappear and turned to Rachel. “You need to leave,” he said evenly. He was still in a state of shock over the whole thing, but he couldn’t abide Rachel’s accusations against Blaine or the fact that she automatically assumed he felt the same way she did. Finn was standing just to the side and Kurt spared him a quick glance. If he wasn’t going to stick up for Blaine any better than he had, then he needed to go too. Kurt was pretty sure he got the message.
Rachel crossed her arms, her chin lifting stubbornly as she looked back at Kurt. “I think that is probably for the best,” she said tightly.
Kurt opened the door and stood waiting for them both to leave.
Finn sighed. ”Okay, well apparently Blaine is an angry drunk which, I didn’t see coming.” He tilted his head. ”Um. I’m not gonna… I’ve been around it all a lot and this is…” He licked his lips and squeezed his eyes shut. ”Sorry. Fine.”
Kurt looked at them both and frowned. ”I’ll call you, both.” he promised, his anger now barely held in check. He didn’t want to hear how any of this was on Blaine when obviously he’d been attacked. Right now he just wanted them gone so he could think. Later, when he was more in control, he would call them. Though they might not like what he would say even then.
“You sure you can handle him? He seems pretty mad,” Finn said to Kurt. “I can-” he looked over at Rachel, “I can stay if you want me to.”
Rachel glared at Finn, “Oh no, you’re not staying here one more second with all of this!” Rachel gestured back to the others as if disgusted.
“I have this.” Kurt interjected. He shot a gaze back at Jess and Nate who were already gathering their things silently as Cooper walked in and slipped to the back.
Finn ran his hand over his forehead and sighed, his eyes drooping closed as the little he’d gotten started to sink in. “Rachel.” He shook his head and then looked at Kurt. ”O- okay. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” Kurt looked at them both pointedly as they walked through the door.
I kinda like it ending there