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"SHOCKING EVIDENCE! Inside Source Reveals: CAP WAS HYDRA ALL ALONG!" National ENQUIRER, May 2016

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"SHOCKING EVIDENCE!"  The front page screamed.

Sam Wilson stopped mid-jog, the toe of one sneaker dragging on the pavement. He didn't have to turn back and read it - could go on with what had been a nice, peaceful, productive day -

With great reluctance, he bent to eye the splashy newspaper where it lay abandoned on the ground, soaked in dirt and last night's rain.

"SHOCKING EVIDENCE! Inside Source Reveals: CAP WAS HYDRA ALL ALONG!" The title was printed in red and black, and someone with a startling lack of Photoshop skill had swapped the 'A' on Steve's helmet for an evil octopus.

Using the tread of his shoe, Sam gingerly flipped to the next page.

" AREA MAN STUCK IN PORT-A-POTTY FOR 254 DAYS! Learn how he survived! CLUE: ALIENS!"

Right. It was the Enquirer.


The All-American FOX News Morning Show: New Evidence Proves Internationally Wanted Vigilante and Ex-Avenger Steve Rogers to be a Longtime Traitor, Explains 'Cap's' Seditious Behavior, Radical Views on Immigration, Vocal Advocacy of Gays in Military....


Full Frontal With Samantha Bee: FOX News Accidentally Implies that Nazis are Pro-Gay and Soft on Immigration


"The Enquirer?"  Steve's frown was audible all the way from Wakanda. "That trash paper is still around?"

"'Still'?"

"It got into trouble for spreading fascist propaganda the year before Buck and I left for the war." Steve's voice changed from 'mildly bemused' to 'This Right Here Is Some Bullshit.' "I guess the charges didn't stick. What are they saying this time?"

"That you're a Nazi, and have been since before you went into the ice," Sam said. He heard Steve take ten slow, deep breaths. "Sorry, man. You alright?"

"Everything's fine," said Steve, followed by the sound of him punching a wall.


fyeahwwiihist:

57 1/2 reasons captain steve rogers is not hydra

this is a ludicrous thing to even have to post but here goes lol

[Keep Reading]


James Barnes was seated in front of a battered laptop, brow furrowed and shoulders hunched. He looked up and froze as Natasha entered the room, his fingers curled on the keyboard.

"Barnes," Natasha said slowly, "please tell me you're not on a blog somewhere being Angry on Steve's behalf."

"No," Barnes scoffed, then slammed his laptop shut so hard that the top cracked slightly. "What's a blog?"


MSNBC Nightly News: Blogger Claiming to be WWII Veteran, Longtime Friend of Steve Rogers, and Former HYDRA POW James Buchanan Barnes Calls Enquirer Article "The biggest ******* pile of bull**** I have ever ******* been made to see with my own two god**** eyes."


 Jim Morita @thejowlingcommando    May 21

exmotherfuckingscuse YOU? #saynotohydracap #suckmyassboyo

12.6K Retweets     562 Likes

 

FANonymouse3 @crocpotroca    May 25

@NatEnquirer somewhere in hell the red skull is like 'well thats a bit harsh'

153 Retweets     57 Likes

  

 gobblegabba @amherstorbust     May 26

IF SROGERS WAS A NAZI THEY"D HAVE WON THE FCKKING WAR NYOU DUMBASSES #SAYNOTOHYDRACAP

24 Retweets     3 Likes

 

IAmIronMan @therealtonystark     May 26

@NatEnquirer @FoxNews Disgustingly out of line.

25.7K Retweets     1.5K Likes


CNN Constant Update: ....resigns from National Enquirer, admits to hoax. Wakanda to host world's first AfroVision Contest. Steve Rogers and Tony Stark reportedly reconcile....