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A Sticky Situation

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“…Oh,” said Karkat dumbly

“Yeth, oh.” Sollux glared at him, although the effect was somewhat tempered by the brilliant yellow flush that spread all the way to the tips of his ears. “Nnngghh…fuck!” He jerked his head back again, banging against the wall. His free hand scrabbled at his chest as the pace of his already rapid breathing increased yet again.

Abruptly, Karkat realized he was still holding Sollux’s other wrist. He hastily let go, and his own face flared bright red as Sollux whimpered softly.

“Well,” he blurted, “okay. Uh. I mean. It’ll wear off soon, right?”

That earned him an incredulous red and blue stare. “Doeth it…hhnnn!…LOOK like it’th wearing off? Ah, fuck!” Karkat watched with fascinated bemusement as Sollux curled in on himself, pressing a hand between his legs.

“Oh my god, don’t you dare!” Karkat yelped. The thought of being in even the remote vicinity of his best friend while he got himself off was…he didn’t know what it was. His thinkpan was too busy doing the mental equivalent of a graceful pirouette off the handle to come up with an answer.

Sollux ignored him, scrambling up to his knees and bracing one hand against the wall as he rubbed harder. Then he started fumbling at the button on his jeans, cursing softly under his breath until it finally popped open. He breathed a shaky sigh of relief and began to slip his hand beneath the waistband before pausing to look up.

“Ehehe, enjoying the show KK? I didn’t know you were into that thort of thing. Don’t worry, I won’t judge.” Sollux’s voice was strained, but he managed a ridiculous eyebrow waggle.

Karkat gaped at him for a moment, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly before he managed a sputtered “Fuck you!” He whirled around, taking a deep breath and willing his fierce blush to subside. He could totally be mature about this. He could. “Just hurry up, okay? I do not need to listen to you fondling your freakish mutant bulges any longer than absolutely necessary.”

“Jeeth, KK, you’re no funnnnnnggghhhh!

The blood suffusing Karkat’s face suddenly rushed south. He stifled a gasp at the unexpected pulse of heat in his own bone bulge and looked down incredulously. What the hell? There was nothing even remotely arousing about this situation.

“Fuck, fuck, nnnhhh, ah!

Jegus, did he have to be so loud? Did he always make these sorts of noises whenever he jerked off? Did he seriously just wonder that?!

Ah, ah, ah…c’mon…”

Karkat squirmed discreetly, glaring at his traitorous body. There was no way Sollux—scrawny, nerdy, awkward Sollux, with his lisp and his nasally laugh and his stupid glasses—should be getting this kind of a reaction from him. They’d known each other for ages and Karkat had never thought of him like…that. Right? Right.

“C’mon, c’mon…c’mon…”

Of course he hadn’t. Yeah, okay, he’d worried about him from time to time, but Sollux was a mess, how could he not? And yes, okay, fine, maybe there’d been that awkward pale crush he’d had on him for like half a sweep, dammit, I swore I’d never think about that again…

“Pleathe…pleathe, c’mon, pleathe pleathe pleathe…”

Then again, for most of the time they’d known each other, Sollux had just been words on a husktop. Sure, they’d met each other briefly a few times before this whole Sgrub clusterfuck and exchanged the usual pleasantries (“Ehehe, you really do thuck at computerth.” “Fuck you, you freakish grubsucker.” ).


Even when they had met, Karkat had been too busy NOT being totally impressed by Sollux’s psionic powers to think about much else. The other troll had been showing off, too, sparking with red-blue energy and levitating things, and generally distracting Karkat with Sollux As The Uber Powerful Psychic rather than Sollux as…Sollux.


And now Karkat wondered if that had been on purpose. If Sollux had been trying to distract and impress him…?


What?” Karkat blurted as he spun around, yanking his hand away from where it had been steadily creeping towards his crotch—

—Holy shit.