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How Far Will You Go?

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“TWEEK, TWEEK LOOK AT ME! DAMMIT TWEEK, STOP IT! I SAID STOP IT TWEEK, YOU’RE GONNA FUCKING HURT YOURSELF!” the brunette boy said to the blonde one who was currently tightly holding a shard of glass which was slicing into his palm, causing a pool of blood to accumulate at his feet.
“Hurt myself” Tweek whispered, he chuckled softly as he looked at the brunette in disbelief. “Hurt myself..,” he said again, his voice getting louder, “H-HURT MYSELF! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M A-ALREADY HURT? HELL O-OPEN YOUR EYES I’M FUCKING B-BROKEN, PEOPLE CAN ONLY TAKE S-SO MUCH CRAIG, THEN THEY BREAK. AND I’M W-WAY BEYOND MY BREAKING POINT. CAN’T Y-YOU SEE? I HAVE NO ONE, NOT ONE F-FUCKING PERSON IN MY GODDAMN C-CORNER! I’M ALONE AND I CAN’T TAKE IT A-ANYMORE, I’M TRYING BUT H-HELL, I’M TIRED AND I DON’T W-WANNA FUCKING PRETEND ANYMORE. PRETEND THAT MY L-LIFE IS FINE, AND I’M OK, B-BECAUSE NEITHER ARE FINE, AND IT’S K-KILLING ME! IT’S FUCKING KILLING M-ME AND I HAVE NOBODY TO HELP ME, NOBODY TO TELL ME T-THAT IT’S GOING TO BE OK, OR THAT I’M S-STRONG AND I CAN P-PUSH THROUGH THIS! I HAVE NO ONE TO L-LEAN ON AND I CAN’T TAKE IT A-ANYMORE!” By this point tears were streaming down Tweek’s face, his stutter in full swing, and he shook from the combination of crying and screaming.

Craig’s heart clenched as he saw the boy he loved, but never told as much, fall apart at the seams. He couldn’t help but think that if he wouldn’t of pulled away then maybe Tweek wouldn’t be so broken. When Tweek stopped screaming Craig waited for him to catch his breath which was hard due to the fact that he was sobbing. But when Craig saw that his crying had somewhat calmed he quietly spoke, barely above a whisper, “you have me.” This caught Tweek’s attention as he quickly looked up from the spot on the floor that he had been staring at. His eyes flashed a gleam of hope, which was quickly wiped away and replaced by the same broken look that they held since before Craig had walked in and saw him trying to stab a picture with the piece of glass he held in his hand.
“No Craig, I don’t” was all he said, as he turned around completely to look at the picture of his mother that he had broke minutes before, they were in Tweek’s mom’s room after all, his sobbing dulled down to a few tears. His back was to Craig, and all Craig wanted was to cross the room and wrap this very broken boy in his arms, but he couldn’t. Tweek didn’t even know that he was in love with him, hell he didn’t even think that they were still friends, more or less that Craig was gay for him. So he said the only thing that he could, the truth,
“Yes you do Tweek, I...I’m in love with you.” Craig immediately regretted what he said for it seemed to make things worse, as Tweek turned around with anger written all over his face.
“You’re...in l-love with me, are you fucking s-serious. Because people do not treat the people they l-love the way you treat me!” His voice kept getting louder, “Ignoring them for m-months! Not returning their calls! Fucking r-running away when they see them in the halls! Yeah last time I c-checked people actually talk to the people they supposedly l-love, not run away from them!” He shook his head in disbelief, as if he was trying to shake what Craig said out if his mind, “I get it, you are trying to make fun of me, just like everyone else does, trying to see if you can trick me into thinking you actually care about me. Well it isn’t working! You hear me C-craig, it isn’t gonna f-fucking work!” Craig started to shake his head, trying to deny Tweek’s accusations, but it seemed to just fuel the fire, as Tweek blew up, “DON’T F-FUCKING LIE TO ME, I K-KNOW YOU ARE LYING! HOW C-COULD SOMEONE LOVE ME?” Tweek was starting to sob again, “I HATE YOU C-CRAIG, I FUCKING S-SWEAR TO GOD I H-HATE YOU SO F-FUCKING MUCH! G-GET OUT! G-GET THE H-HELL OUT OF MY H-HOUSE!” Craig’s heart shattered at hearing those words, but even more so when he saw the completely broken look in Tweek’s big blue eyes, but he made no move to leave. When Tweek noticed this anger flashed into his eyes, and he threw the piece of glass he had been squeezing in his hands at Craig. But Craig was faster, and he managed to duck just in time as the glass shard hit the wall behind him and shattered into even smaller pieces. “I H-HATE YOU, LEAVE, FUCKING L-LEAVE CRAIG, CAN’T Y-YOU SEE I DON’T W-WANT YOU H-HERE?” As Tweek said this he was grabbing anything he could find and was chucking it at Craig who managed to dodge a few but not all of the things thrown at him. Luckily Tweek didn’t have anymore glass he thought, as a book was thrown at him, hitting him in the chest. “I W-WANT...YOU…TO...L-LEAVE…” Tweek said, taking in a suddering breaths between each word. He was shaking as he dropped the shoe he was about to throw at Craig. He was sobbing uncontrollably now, as he sunk onto the floor, bringing his knees to his chest, and shaking. Craig just stood their for a moment, watching as sobs wrenched themselves out of the small boy in front of him. Craig sighed as he walked across the room and sat down next to the hysterical blonde. He made sure to not touch the sobbing boy, but he was still only inches away from him, with his legs spread out onto the floor. They sat there like that, for what felt like eternity until Tweek calmed down, and his hysterical crying turned into quietly sniffling. That’s when Craig decided to break the silence,
“I really do love you you know, I’ve loved you since third grade when you freaked out cause you broke your pencil and I lent you mine. Then you freaked out again because I didn’t have anything to write with. So I broke the pencil in half, and gave you the sharpened piece and got up to sharpen the broken piece so we would both have something to write with. I still remember the look you gave me, like I was important or something and knew the whole fucking world.” Craig smiled slightly and chuckled. “Of course that’s a lie, i’m not fucking important and I don’t know shit, cause if I did I wouldn’t of hurt you. The one fucking thing in my life that was good, and I went and fucked it up.” Craig sighed looking down at his hands, “Sounds like me doesn’t it.” He rubbed his hands threw his hair, “Fuck, I couldn’t even tell you that I love you at the right time, of course I decide to tell you when it’s to fucking god damn late and you hate my fucking guts.” He sighed again making sure not to make eye contact with the sniffling boy beside him. “I guess it doesn’t matter now, I can’t change the past. But I fucked up Tweek, and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry.” Craig’s voice cracked as he said this, he sniffed, as he pushed to bottom of his palms into his eyes, to stop the tears that threatened to fall from them. All the while Tweek turned his head to stare at Craig, then he spoke, barely above a whisper,
“I love you too.” Craig removed his hands from his eyes quickly and shot his head in Tweek’s direction. If the two boys weren’t so close Craig would’ve missed what he said, but he heard it, but even though he did, doubt still crowded his thoughts,
“What?” Craig answered, with a sad look in his eyes, with a hint of something else that he couldn’t quite place.
“I love AHHH you too” Tweek said, this time loud enough for Craig to hear every word clearly. But Craig didn’t respond, instead he just sat there, dumbfounded, trying to wrap his brain around this.
“But I thought you said you hated me.” Craig said, in a voice full of doubt. Finally Tweek looked up at Craig and their eyes met, Craig gasped at the look of hurt that was in Tweek’s eyes. Tweek sniffled and said,
“I did say that, but I didn’t mean that I h-hated you, I hate how no m-matter how hard I try I can’t hate y-you. No matter what you do to me I can’t bring m-myself to hate you, and I hate it. I hate the fact that you make it impossible for me to hate you, I fucking love you Craig, always have and I always will, and you have no f-fucking clue how much I h-hate that. I thought you didn’t love m-me back, and even if you somehow did you would be disgusted with the fact and leave. I don’t deserve to be with you C-craig, you should move on.” Tears were starting to stream down his perfect face again, as he wallowed in self pity. All Craig could do was stare at this perfect boy in disbelief because it was the opposite of what he said, it was Craig that didn’t deserve Tweek. Sweet, innocent, perfect Tweek thought that he wasn’t good enough, this thought broke Craig’s heart as he racked his brain for how to respond to what his Tweek had just said. He decided that he could not put into words everything that was Tweek, so he did the next best thing. He turned slightly and grabbed Tweek’s face between his rough hands, he forced eye contact and smiled. Tweek just looked at him confused, as Craig started leaning in and softly, hesitantly connected their lips together. But after a couple of perfect seconds went by, and Tweek wasn’t kissing back Craig pulled away, and dropped his hands down to his sides.
“I-i’m sorry Tweek, fuck I wasn’t thinking” Craig went to scoot away because somehow he had moved so he was touching Tweek’s side when a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before he could move. Craig turned to Tweek and gave him a questioning look, but before he could say anything a pair of lips were crashing into his. Now it was his turn to freeze, as he couldn’t believe that Tweek was kissing him. His moment of shock quickly passed as he felt hands wander up his chest and into his hair. He immediately cupped Tweek’s face with his hands, and returned the kiss, this one less chaste. He put everything he had into this kiss, all of his emotions that he had been holding in, he let them pour into the kiss, turning it passionate. But all too soon the two needed air and Craig pulled away, but only to reattach his lips at Tweek’s jaw. He slowly kissed his way along Tweek’s perfect jawline, but stopped when he reached his neck. There he pulled away slightly only to stick out his tongue and sensually lick the left side of Tweek’s neck, savoring the salty taste of sweat and blood. He began placing open mouth kisses, earning a groan as Tweek craned his neck to allow Craig better access. He kept placing kisses until he found a place he liked and began to softly suck on the delicate skin. Tweek whimpered, tightening the grip he had on Craig’s hair as he pulled closer, plastering himself onto Craig’s side. Craig grinned and released the skin he had been sucking on, pulling back to admire his work. A purplish bruise now occupied Tweek’s otherwise perfect neck. Causing Craig to smile even wider as he gently kissed the mark he had just made, causing a shiver to travel through Tweek’s body, and a moan of both pain and pleasure to escape his kiss swollen lips. “Hell, every time i’m around you I don’t think, when it comes to you my mind blanks and it's like I forget how to act, it’s because you’re so perfect. I swear to god you are so fucking perfect Tweek, and i’ve wanted to do this for so long” Craig said in between kisses on Tweek’s neck. He got a moan in response, and Craig smiled to himself as he was able to get Tweek this unhinged. Just then he felt a pair of cold hands travel from his hair down his cloth covered chest, and down to the hem of his pants, which made Craig freeze. Then all of a sudden he snapped back to reality, as a storm of guilt crashed over him. Here he was taking advantage of the boy he loves emotional state. He didn’t care if Tweek seemed to be into it now, the last thing Craig would want was to do something that Tweek would regret and probably freak out about later. He gently pulled his mouth away from the spot he has been sucking on and whispered against the smooth hot skin there “Tweek, Tweek baby we need to stop” Said boy's eyes shot wide open as he looked at Craig, and instead of the broken look his eyes held moments before, his pupils were blown out wide with lust and want. Craig moaned at the sight,
“No no p-please Craig please I n-need this!” Tweek said as he slipped his hands under Craig’s shirt causing goosebumps to appear, he looked away, “P-please I will do a-anything, Craig, just…” His stutter seemed to get worse meaning that he was nervous, which only strengthened Craig's decision, as he reached up and gently grabbed Tweek’s hand that were shaking underneath his shirt. He pulled them out and brought them to his mouth as he placed sweet kisses to his cut palms.
“Sh-sh-sh baby it’s okay i’m here, I don’t want to do anything that you're not comfortable with. We can take as much time as you need there is no rush, I don't want you regretting anything when it comes to us.” Craig looked up and smiled softly at the small blonde tucked carefully in his arms, Tweek looked like he wanted to protest but instead he just nodded, leaned in and put his head on Craig's shoulder. Tweek closed his eyes and sighed as Craig leaned in and kissed his mess of blonde curls on his head. “I love you Tweek” A smile tugged at Tweeks lips as he mumbled into Craig's shirt. Craig didn't understand what he said but he didn't have to, he smiled as he tightened his grip on the small blonde in his arms. Enjoying the silence all Craig could think of was the huge disaster that the both of them were in, but he wouldn't think of that right now, all he was concerned with was Tweek, and how his breathing was evening out as he got closer and closer to sleep.