There was no way that I wasn’t going to save her.
"If she dies. He dies." Anya had said, gesturing to Finn with her sword. There was no thinking it through for me. Tris had a collapsed lung, and Anya, although she had thrown me off the girl, realized that I was only trying to help. Draining the blood only bought her minutes, and we barely had that, while still, no one was willing to give blood.
But when Finn offered, I couldn’t find a vein.
"Clarke. She's not breathing." Finn pointed out, as I was drawing the needle out of his arm.
"We need to resuscitate her."
"Clarke, that might not work."
"Finn, just start CPR!"
There was always the basilic vein. I had to try. Finn began the compressions to her chest and I inserted the syringe into the back of Tris’ arm.
"Please work. Please work.” Had been the mantra I repeated over and over in my head.
"Clarke, she’s still not breathing.”
I had pushed Finn out of the way. “Let me do it.”
My voice was panicked. He stepped back to let me continue.
“Time’s up.” Anya growled.
She nodded at the two guards at her sides and they advanced towards Finn. Although it could barely be heard over my pleading, it was an intake of breath that finally stopped them. We all looked down to see Tris’ eyes open. She was taking in shaky breaths, as I was letting out one.
Anya rushed over to Tris, who grabbed her hand. They shared a moment before Anya looked at me. “Congratulations. He lives.”
Letting myself have a moment to breathe, I immediately began to cover Tris’ wounds. I had to make sure there wasn’t more I could do for her, a thought that was eventually what got me through losing Finn.
After it had been made sure that Tris was going to be okay, Anya left, and ordered the guards to separate Finn and I. While I was to stay in the healer’s hut, they took Finn to where I can only assume they were holding him until he’d attempted to escape.
He’d apparently wasted no time in trying to get away, killing a Grounder and injuring another in the process. This lack of thinking, despite my saving Tris, had gotten him killed anyway. Meaning, I was officially alone.
It was hard at first, to carry on, knowing that Finn was gone.
My absolute need for a distraction led to Anya’s second, Tris, becoming my main focus for the next few weeks. I checked her daily, trying my best to make conversation with her, while I checked the small wounds she’d received. It was an extremely hard task to accomplish, seeing as she wouldn’t speak to me. I didn’t blame her, I’d sent someone to blow her and her people up. She was injured in the first place, because of me.
After a week of silence from her, she had asked me where I’d learned my medical knowledge from. This, in turn led me to tell her about how I’d learned a lot from my mom, and how I’d had no choice but to learn the rest from experience, once I’d landed on the ground.
I’d thought it was my opening, that I would finally have someone to talk to. But that was it.
During her final checkups, I finally was able to have actual, two sided conversation with her. Tris had started to reply to the many questions I’d ask her, which prompted me to ask as many of them as I could. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to mind. It was probably very apparent that I was desperate for communication with another human.
One of the things she had told me was that she’s very young. “12 summers”, she had phrased it. She also shared she has no family other than Anya, if you count a mentor as family. She’s been Anya’s second for 4 years already
And to think, I’d thought 12 was young to start training someone to kill.
Although she’s completely healed from the explosion, she had asked me if she could come visit me. Now, when she’s not training with or learning from Anya (which takes up a surprising amount of her time, for a kid), she’ll come visit.
She’s enjoys practicing her English or “Gonasleng” with me and in return, she has started to teach me some Trigedasleng, since we’ve determined that I might as well start to learn. It’s an interesting language, and somewhat easy to pick up.
Even though Tris is so young, it helps to have a friend here and she’s become somewhat of an ally to me. In fact, I’m pretty sure she was part of the reason why people here stopped being so aggressive towards me.
Originally, no one had trusted me to work on them. Especially the warriors that had been sent to kill the rest of the 100.
A few days after I’d saved Tris, Anya returned to the hut where I was being kept, and where her second was recovering. She was angry, disheveled and I couldn’t help but cower away from her as she took a moment to calmly speak to Tris.
After ensuring that her second was okay, the Grounder woman informed me that when her warriors arrived at the drop ship after all of the “distractions” (I'm still lost on what she means by distractions), they’d found that no one was there. The entire camp was empty, weapons and supplies left behind.
She demanded that I tell her what our exit strategy had been, but I was as lost as she was.
It made sense for the villagers and warriors to be wary of me, even though there was no possible way I could have hidden away an entire village worth of kids. But how was I supposed to be healer to people who wouldn’t even let me speak to them?
I didn’t initially see a change around the village until after Tris had started to bring her friends to see me. I guess seeing the younger warriors interact with me showed them that I wasn’t as dangerous as they thought, and I really didn’t mind having the young seconds around. They make good company, and I actually enjoy showing them what I’m kept here to do.
Anya hadn’t been thrilled that Tris was spending so much time with me. Of course, I’ve come to know that Anya is never thrilled about anything that has to do with me.
She’s less rude now, though. I guess you could call that progress.
So here I am. Living among the Grounders for what has already felt like forever. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here exactly, but I can’t say it’s completely horrible. They’ve given me my own hut, provided me with herbs and tools of every kind for me to perform what apparently, I do best. They seem to almost trust me now, however, I'm not allowed to leave the hut without a guard as an escort.
Regardless of any fears I’ve felt for the future of my survival, I’ve learned to be thankful for each day I’m actually alive. Finn just wasn't so lucky.
He definitely is missed.
Clarke finished the last sentence of her entry and looked up from the worn papers in her hand, at the sound of someone entering her hut. It was Caliban, one of the Grounders that had aided Clarke in saving Tris, and the first patient she’d had after the young girl.
It had been months ago, when he had come in with a large cut in his thigh, asking for a salve Clarke had started to stock up on, to keep it from being infected. The two of them had barely talked while Clarke was cleaning the wound, however when the first situation had arisen where Clarke had to be assigned a guard, he surprisingly, had volunteered.
“Anya wants to see you. Come with me.”
Clarke nodded. She was not unused to being told to come and go when and where she was told. This was how it was for her now, and she had learned it was just easier to obey.
She followed him out of the hut, into the middle of the small village that was mostly made up of Anya’s warriors. It held a small group of permanent residents, but Clarke had learned early on, that most of the occupants (including herself) were there only temporarily.
Clarke nodded to a few patients she'd had, as they walked between the makeshift tents and huts, until they reached Anya’s.
“You wanted to see me.” Stated Clarke as she walked into the tent, to stand in front of where Anya was packing up maps and papers from a table.
“Yes.” Anya answered her, and looked up at Caliban, who’d accompanied Clarke inside. “You may wait outside. I’m fine here.”
The Grounder woman went back to sorting the table and waited to speak until the guard had exited the tent. “You should know that we are moving soon. As my unit is no longer needed here, in this section of the territory, we will be marching back to Ton DC.”
“Yes. It is my home village.” Anya turned, now facing Clarke. “You will be coming with us.”
“Aren’t I needed here?” The blonde asked.
Anya shook her head. “No. Ton DC is not too far and your talents will be better used in a larger, more populated village.”
Clarke sighed. “Of course.”
“There is something else.” The other woman continued and raised her hand, evoking a pause. “My superior, the Chief of Ton DC, has heard of your skills. She is looking forward to meeting you, and you should know that it is in your best interest to fall into her good graces.”
“Can I ask why you’re telling me this?” Clarke asked, the warning coming from the usually apathetic woman, confusing her.
“As your time here has proven, you have what it takes to fit in with Trikru.” Anya said, an official air about her.
“I’m not sure I understand. As you well know, I’m still a captive here.” Clarke reminded her, almost bitterly.
“In our culture, if after a certain time a captive is found to be both trustworthy and able to prove themselves as a warrior, they may earn a place among us.”
“Why are you telling me this? We don’t get along at all, and I know you’d rather I’d been killed along with Finn.”
Anya took a deep breath, the blonde girl testing her patience. “Tris.”
“Yes. She trusts you. The other young seconds seem to admire you as well.” Anya pointed out. “Children, more often than not, are the best judge of character. Knowing that, and the fact that you haven’t tried to escape since when you were first here, I have to believe that you are finding a place here. Regardless of my personal opinion of you.”
Clarke had to resist the urge to smile at the woman. “I understand. Thank you.” She bowed her head. The admission probably being the kindest Anya had ever been to her. “I’ll go pack my supplies.”
As she exited the hut, she saw Tris waiting for her, and talking to Caliban. While the guard stayed behind, the young second ran up to Clarke, practically bouncing.
“Hei, Clarke! Did you hear?” Tris asked excitedly, a large grin breaking out onto her small face. “We’re returning to Ton DC! Ai stegeda!”
“Anya just told me. Looks like I’m coming with you.” Clarke smiled at the girl as they began to walk back to her hut.
“Of course you are, you’re the best healer we’ve had in a long time.” Tris answered, matter-of-factly. “I’ve heard that the chief of Ton DC wants to meet you because you are a miracle worker.”
Clarke didn’t comment right away, the information Anya had told her, and the fear of disappointing this chief, now on her mind. “Well, I hope she’s not disappointed then.”
Heya - hello, hi
Hei - hey
Ai stegeda - my village