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The Chosen Two, With the Chosen Guts

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"Hold up, B, I gotta drop one."

Buffy sighed.  "I need a noun to work with here, Faith."  Then she caught Faith undoing her belt.  Oh.  "Don't...don't go here.  It's someone's grave, and I think that might be kinda bad.  I have a few designated bathroom spots for all-night patrols."

"Man, all of Boston was a designated bathroom spot."

Buffy had to crack a smile at this.  "Even the Harvardy parts?"

"Especially those.  Some rich kid wakes up to a giant steamer outside his window?  Warms my fuckin' heart."

They ducked between a couple dumpsters.  Before Buffy could turn away, Faith's pants were on their way down.  She had kind of a cute butt, thought Buffy.  She squatted, her back toward Buffy.  "Step back a couple paces," she said.  "This thing's loaded."

Buffy had a pretty clear view as a thick snake of shit began to slither out of Faith's hole.  This shouldn't be sexy, thought Buffy.  This should be gross.

"So does this happen to you, too?" asked Faith.


"Ever since I was called, I eat like a horse and take about four, five big dumps every day."

She wasn't kidding when she said 'big,' either.  Faith had left a ten-inch turd on the pavement, and she was still going.  The crackle of trapped gas escaping might have been extra loud, or Buffy might have been listening extra close.  The smell was rank, too.  I mean, everyone's poop smelled, obviously, but Faith was a special case.

"I, um, yeah."  If they were having this conversation, they were having this conversation.  Faith had no idea this was like dirty talk for Buffy. Buffy was still kind of surprised herself.  She wanted to just be casual.  She also kind of wanted to be very not-casual.  "I kind of hold it at school--the bathrooms are pretty gross, and the toilet paper's all scratchy."

Faith began work on a third turd.  "You must fuckin' destroy toilets."  She exhaled heavily as she pinched it off.  "Bet it feels pretty good, letting it all out, though."

Jeez, Faith, thought Buffy, press my buttons harder, why don't you?  "I kind of have to flush a few know, during the process."

This was true.  Willow's mom had one of those low-flow toilets that are supposed to waste less water, and she'd clogged it before getting even a fraction of her load out.  That was how Willow found out about slayer-poops, which, incidentally, Buffy really needed a better name for.  

Buffy blushed. "It's such a relief, though, yeah." It was amazing, in fact.  Letting the weight and pressure build up all day, until she had to clench with all her slayer strength to keep it all in, and then sitting down and just letting go, letting all the waste leave her until she was clean and empty.

"Did your watcher tell you this was gonna happen?"  Faith was pulling up her pants.  She hadn't wiped.  Buffy had thought to offer some tissues, but she didn't.  Probably because the thought of Faith walking around all messy kind of turned her on.


"Figures.  A bunch of old men don't tell us what's gonna happen to our bodies because they think it's gross."

"Do, um, do you get the gas, too?" asked Buffy.  At this point she was kind of pushing the subject, just wanting to talk all about her bowels with someone cute.  "Because I kind of noticed after a while, you know, 'Hey, I didn't used to fart this much.'"

"I wish it was that hard to notice.  First meal after I get called, I bloat up, like so much it hurts, and I spend the night just letting rip.  It's not always that bad, but, like, every time I eat, all the gas comes at once, you know?"

That, Buffy would like to see.

"So," said Faith.  "I gotta reload this baby."  She patted her stomach.

"There's like one burger joint that's open this late."

"Cool.  Let's eat some dead cows."

They ordered nearly twenty bucks worth of value menu items.  Buffy told the cashier they were having guests.

Faith's bed was pretty much the only surface at the motel room to eat off of, so they sat cross-legged across from each other.  Faith had stripped down from her leathers into boyshorts and a men's sleeveless undershirt.  It was, thought Buffy, a very good look.  She took a handful of fries off the communal pile, and ate them all at once.  The girl wolfed her food, for sure.  She'd eaten two of the little dollar-twenty-five cheeseburgers in just a few minutes.

"Just, um, full disclosure.  The stuff from this place goes right through me," said Buffy.  This wasn't false.  It wasn't painful or anything, but within an hour there'd be the first of a few major mudslides.

"Cool.  You're the big spoon tonight, then."

Buffy must have looked very shocked.  She wasn't dense enough to think Faith was straight, but this was proceeding just a little too much like one of her fantasies to believe.

"Busting your chops, Summers." Faith paused.  "I mean, unless you're, like..."

"I kind of am, like..."

"Well, shit.  Hello, fellow girl-kisser!"  Faith high-fived Buffy. "Can't say I showed you my ass in the best context for that sort of thing, but fuck it."  She lifted a cheek and farted.  "We're the chosen two, with the chosen guts."

The fart was not one that faded quickly.

"God, B, I'm sorry about that one.  Onions fuck me up."  Buffy took note of the fact that Faith hadn't picked the onions off of any of her burgers.

"It's okay.  You missed me when I thought protein shakes were a good idea.  Mom finally had to lay down the law on that one."

"Speaking of, you're probably in curfew territory right now, huh?"

"I, um...yeah."

"Well, I can kick you out, or we can screw and then I kick you out"


"Again, that's a joke unless you're down for it."  She stood up and started pacing.  Buffy was still working on her burgers.  Buffy guessed Faith thought she wasn't looking, because she gave the cleft of her ass a long scratch through her underwear, then sniffed her fingers and made a little 'whoa' face.

"I'm gonna hit the shower."  That bad, huh? thought Buffy.  "Join if you want."

Through the bathroom door, Buffy had a good view of Faith undressing.  She did it hastily, tossing her clothes in a pile by the toilet.  It was now or never, thought Buffy.  She kicked off her boots and socks, then walked onto the cold tile and took off the rest of her clothes.  The shower was pretty cramped, so she and Faith were brushing against each other without even trying.   Faith was actually concentrating on getting clean.  She soaped her underarms and face, with her back to Buffy, as though the other Slayer wasn't even there.

Buffy decided to make a move.  She lathered up her hands and began to knead Faith's buttocks.

"Ass girl, huh?" said Faith.  "Wouldn't say no to you washing my crack, but it's pretty nasty back there."

"I, um, don't mind."


Well then.  Buffy had her opening.  If she wanted to take it.  This wasn't a turn-on that was easy to share.  But if not now, with Faith, then when?  The more time passed between the initial poop conversation and the revelation of 'hey, I'm a big pervert,' the weirder it would be.

Buffy slid her palm between Faith's buttocks.  The other slayer spread her cheeks with her hands.  Buffy could see brown smudges here and there.  She attacked them vigorously.  The soap and running water kept any shit from sticking to her hand.  Buffy didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Faith farted on Buffy's hand.  A long one, worse-smelling than the last.  Her wet asshole gave it a sound that, in another context, would have suggested more than a little follow-through.


"Come on, B, you love it.  I was kinda suspicious ever since I saw you looking just a little too long at that load I dropped."

Buffy was bright red.

"Oh, jeez, don't be all shy now after you scrubbed my dirty asshole."

"It's kind of an easy thing to be shy about."

"I love it, B!  Shitting's great.  It doesn't get me horny, but damn if it isn't up there on my list of things to do."

"Well, lucky us, we do it plenty."

"Tell me about it.  I get up at least once a night, or else I drop a monster load in the morning."

"Ever get constipated?  I once didn't go for two days, and then I missed pretty much all of English class just pooping.  I clogged two toilets.  Two!"

"I, uh, I don't.  Opposite problem, usually."

"Really?"  Buffy said it in what she hoped was a flirtatious voice.

Faith slid a hand between Buffy's thighs.  "Yeah.  Pretty sexy, right?  Me with farty, greasy diarrhea just pouring out my asshole?"  

She ran her fingers across Buffy's labia, delicate and teasing.  It didn't take much to send a shiver through her.  She'd been at a low simmer ever since Faith had shit in the street.  

"I once shit myself so bad."  She slid a finger into Buffy.  "I had to go up to, like, fuckin' Tufts or someplace to stop a vamp eating college kids.  And I'm on the other end of the Red Line from the Davis stop.  About two stops in, I realize that, holy shit, I have to go."  

Buffy traced Faith's asshole with her finger, as Faith played with Buffy's cunt gently.  Both were more exploring than fucking.

"I hold it and hold it, but then the car jostles and I explode.  Like, just this huge liquid fart that everyone can hear.  It's all gritty and sticky and it's everywhere."  She farted again, right onto Buffy's finger.  "Like, down my thighs, up the front of my panties, everywhere."

Buffy felt a cramp go through her stomach. Her bowels were clearing the decks, getting ready to receive the mass quantities of hamburger.  Not now.

Faith stuck a second finger into Buffy, began moving them more vigorously.  "I get up, and a chunk of shit slides down my leg, out my pants, onto the floor of the train car.  And I do the whole slay with shit in my pants, just crusting up and drying."

She began to devote her attention to Buffy's clit.  "I keep having to go again on the way back, so, you know, fuck it.  I just keep squirting shit into my pants, all the way back home.  Bet you wish you could have been there."

Buffy felt her bowels shifting.  She was nearly to orgasm, too.  She clenched tight as pressure built in her rectum.  Faith was doing something she couldn't entirely figure out, but, oh, God, did it work.  She gasped Faith's name as electricity shot through her.  Her legs were shaky and she was barely holding onto the load of shit inside her.  Faith didn't stop fingering her. Buffy hadn't come like this, ever.  She was quivering all over, barely aware of the sounds she was making, just letting the sensation pulse through her.  Finally, she began to return to the real world.  She hadn't shit herself.  Good.

"Be right back," she said hastily, and dashed to Faith's toilet.  She relaxed her viselike clench, and a rush of slop made its way noisily out of her.

"Hey, just so you know, that thing's pretty wimpy." said Faith.

"Well, this isn't all that solid, so I think we're alright."  Buffy kept shitting, pausing a few seconds before another wave blasted out of her.

Faith stepped out of the shower and crouched at Buffy's feet.  She wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah, it's pretty bad," said Buffy.

"I'm just impressed that you held it."

"Me too."

"Means I didn't make you come hard enough."

"Well, I'm gonna have to go again before the night is out."

Faith farted, adding to the stink of the room. "Yeah, same."  She grinned.  "Wanna make it a challenge?"

Buffy smiled back.  "You'll lose.  I'll be so good you'll crap all over yourself."

"And you'll be so turned on by that that I'll have no trouble making you lose control."

Buffy began to wipe.  Faith was proving to be very, very interesting.