Blaine nervously adjusted his bowtie one more time. He had to look perfect, because he knew Kurt would look amazing. Smoothing down his tuxedo jacket, he took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He couldn’t believe the day was finally here. He was getting married, and the months of frustrating wedding planning were finally coming to an end. He was a bit disgruntled that he was happier that the wedding meant an end to the planning than happy to be marrying Kurt, but he figured it would hit him once they were truly, finally married.
It was a Friday afternoon wedding, so sunlight streamed in through the windows. Kurt had dithered too long about which venue to choose and they ended up either having to go with Friday or choose another venue. Blaine didn’t mind. It just meant their honeymoon started a day earlier, and the wedding planning ended a day earlier.
Seriously, he had to stop focusing on that. Taking a deep breath, Blaine tried to be excited, but all he felt was nervous. Cooper was giving him concerned looks, So Blaine smiled to reassure him. It came out more like a grimace, and Cooper looked alarmed. Blaine mentally told himself to get it together. He took another deep breath.
There was a knock at the door, and Blaine turned as Cooper went to answer it. Blaine checked his watch, he still had ten minutes before he was due in the chapel. The person didn’t enter, Cooper peeked out the door instead, and after a hushed conversation, Cooper turned back to Blaine with an overly cheery smile. “I’ll be right back.”
“Is anything wrong?” Blaine asked.
Cooper kept that same manic smile on as he replied, “No, Just hold on.”
Nodding, Blaine turned back to the mirror. No sense worrying about Cooper. He had bigger things on his mind. Taking a lint roller, he smoothed it down his sleeves.
By the time Cooper came back, Blaine was starting to worry. It was almost time for him to be at the altar. He hissed, “Where have you been? We have to go!” As he went to grab Cooper’s arm to drag him to the chapel, Blaine finally noticed Cooper had a weird look on his face. “Cooper?”
“I think you should sit down.”
“I can’t sit; it’ll crease the pants. Kurt will never forgive me.”
“Blaine, Kurt isn’t coming.”
There was a rushing in Blaine’s ears. He didn’t understand what Cooper was saying. Of course Kurt was coming. They were getting married. Exasperated, he said, “This isn’t the time for a joke, Cooper.”
Cooper looked heartbroken, and Blaine didn’t understand. Cooper said, “This isn’t a joke. Kurt sent a note.” He held out a folded, cream piece of paper.
Blaine looked at it, but couldn’t move to take it. “What?”
Cooper took his hand, and put the note in it. “Read it. I’ll let Mom and Dad know. They’ll take care of the guests. You decide what you want to do.”
Cooper left, and Blaine just stood there holding the paper. Slowly, with shaking hands, he unfolded it. There was Kurt’s loopy handwriting, so this wasn’t a joke by Cooper. Kurt had written the note.
I can’t do this. I love you, but I’m not sure about us. I still have doubts from when you cheated on me. I know I should have said sooner, but I got so caught up in planning the perfect wedding that I swept them aside until I couldn’t anymore.
Blaine read the note over and over again waiting for it to make sense. He had cheated once five years ago in high school, and Kurt still didn’t trust him? That made no sense. They had talked about it. They had talked it to death, in fact, as often as Kurt had wanted to. He had apologized numerous times. He had made sure to be perfect since then. Why wasn’t it enough?
It was finally starting to sink in that Kurt wasn’t coming. That he had just dropped this bombshell on their wedding day and wasn’t going to be there to handle the fallout. That it was up to Blaine to handle as the one who was there. He crumbled the note. He didn’t know what to do, but he was pissed.
Blaine’s parents told the guests while Blaine sat in disbelief in his room off the chapel with Cooper and tried fruitlessly to call Kurt. Blaine agreed that the reception would go on as scheduled, since it was already paid for by his parents. Cooper also convinced Blaine to just go ahead and get on the plane to Paris for the honeymoon trip he had planned, saying it would be good if he got away and was able to get some perspective. He had no argument with that either. He felt if he stayed he would throw an epic fit.
Not even changing out of his tuxedo, Blaine headed to the airport early. Once on the plane, he was glad for the little bottles of booze the flight attendants kept serving him after hearing his story, since he had moved past merely pissed and into furious. Looking back, he could see the signs that Kurt didn’t trust him that he had missed, but since they were all passive-aggressive, he didn’t beat himself up for missing them. Kurt should have been honest and straightforward with him, not treated him like a push-me-pull-you toy. He had apologized and thought he had been rebuilding their trust, but apparently the last five years meant nothing to Kurt.
As the lights were dimmed on the plane, Blaine drank and fumed, eventually falling into an exhausted sleep. It wasn’t restful; the events of the day kept coming back to him in his dreams making him repeatedly waken. The fury would wash over him afresh each time. By the time the plane landed, Blaine was rumpled and exhausted, but his mind was sharp with anger.
After checking into his hotel by the Eiffel Tower and dropping off his luggage and jacket, Blaine went searching for coffee. He didn’t even care that his hair was a mess or that he must look like hell in his rumpled tux. Finding his way to a small café, he looked at the menu board. He was thinking of getting something beyond his usual medium drip. He figured he needed the sugar. Unfortunately, his mind was too jumbled to make sense out of the French. Sighing and slumping, he dropped his head in defeat. He couldn’t even order coffee; his life now officially sucked.
He felt someone come up behind him, and he stiffened when they didn’t move around him. In his ear, a soft voice whispered, “I would recognize that ass anywhere. My morning just got better. What are you doing here, Killer?”
Startled, Blaine turned around to see Sebastian Smythe smirking back at him. As Blaine said, “Sebastian,” Sebastian frowned, looking taken aback.
Sniffing, Sebastian asked, “Are you drunk?”
Before he could even think about it, Blaine was blurting out, “Kurt stood me up at our wedding yesterday.”
Anger and other unnamed emotions flickered across Sebastian’s face rapidly. Sebastian touched his shoulder briefly. “I always knew Gayface wasn’t good enough for you, but that’s beyond the pale even for him.”
Blaine’s shoulders slumped further. “He said it was my fault. That he couldn’t get over me cheating five years ago.”
“That’s no excuse. Then he should have broken up with you five years ago.”
All of Blaine’s anger came rushing back, cutting through his exhaustion again. He poked Sebastian in the chest with a pointing index finger. “Exactly! What was the point of stringing me along all this time if he knew he couldn’t go through with marrying me? He’s been planning the wedding for over a year!”
Blaine knew he was scowling, but Sebastian was grinning at him now. Dropping his hand, he belligerently asked, “What?”
Sebastian said, “Glad to see you’re not wallowing, Killer. You deserved better, definitely. Now let me buy you a coffee, and you can rant about Hummel all you want.”
“You don’t have to do that. I didn’t mean to interrupt your morning.” Blaine felt bad about dumping all this on Sebastian.
“Nonsense. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I am always up for tearing down Lady Hummel.”
“You shouldn’t call him that.” Blaine didn’t know why he was defending Kurt, except it was habit.
“All right, I won’t, but you should feel free to call him as many names as you want.” Sebastian winked at him, and Blaine couldn’t stop the snort that escaped him. Sebastian was always so out there.
Seeming pleased with getting a smile out of Blaine, Sebastian pointed to a free table, and Blaine went to grab it. Sebastian came back with two steaming cups of coffee and some pastries. “You look a little rough. I figured you could use the carbs.”
“Thanks. I don’t know when I last ate. I only drank on the flight over.” Blaine tore into a croissant, suddenly starving.
Sebastian’s gaze scanned him and Blaine squirmed knowing he must look like a wreck, but all Sebastian said was, “Those little bottles are pricey. Your bill must have been outrageous.”
Blaine shrugged. “They felt sorry for me. They didn’t charge me for half of them.”
“I’ll have to remember that scam the next time I fly.”
“It wasn’t a scam!”
Sebastian grinned at Blaine’s outrage, and Blaine felt a smile tugging at his own mouth. He didn’t know how Sebastian did it but the cheesier he was, the funnier Blaine found it. His outrageousness should have been obnoxious, was definitely meant to be obnoxious, but Blaine had always been reluctantly charmed by it.
Egged on by Sebastian and the alcohol still thrumming through his bloodstream, Blaine ranted and raved about Kurt and the last five years as they ate pastries and drank coffee. As more and more instances where he had ignored his own voice and instead gone along with Kurt’s ideas and plans came to him, he was becoming increasingly pissed all over again, this time with himself. How could he have been so blind and so lost?
Sebastian tried to bolster him up, but Blaine now felt like he had wasted the last five years. Looking at Sebastian, remembering how happy he had looked at seeing Blaine, Blaine wondered when Kurt had lost that, and how he had never noticed. Or rather, how he had noticed and thought if he worked harder, he could fix it. Looking again at the fond expression on Sebastian’s face, Blaine interrupted his tirade to say, “I’m such a bad friend. I haven’t even asked you about your life yet.”
Sebastian waved his hand casually as if dismissing the idea. “I’ve certainly got nothing as big as this to talk about.”
“But I don’t even know where you went to college or anything.”
“I studied sociology and music at the Sorbonne. I’m now an assistant liaison at Interpol.”
Impressed, Blaine replied, “Wow. I never would have imagined that. And you said you had nothing exciting going on.”
Shrugging casually, Sebastian seemed embarrassed. “It gives me a reason to continue to live in Paris, so I like it.” Changing the topic in an obvious way, Sebastian asked, “What about you? Did you go to NYADA?”
“Yeah. I’ve done some off-Broadway stuff, but I’m still trying to break into the business, obviously.”
“It’s what? Just a couple months since you graduated and can really put effort into it? Don’t give up yet.”
Blaine blushed and ducked his head. It was a warm, familiar feeling basking in Sebastian’s regard. Now it was his turn to change the topic before he got too embarrassed. They chatted about the other Warblers and what they were doing, as well as life in general for a bit, but once they were both full of coffee and food, Blaine was talked out and couldn’t keep from yawning repeatedly. It felt like the coffee was the only thing keeping him up. Looking at his watch he realized they had been there for over two hours.
His words stumbling to a halt, he blinked a couple times and really looked at Sebastian. Sebastian had an understanding smile on his face. Blaine said, “I’m sorry. I think I’m finally crashing.”
“No worries, Killer. I’m just glad I was here for you to get all that off your chest.”
Yawning again and frowning, Blaine shook his head. “Even though I do want to know more about how you are, I just don’t think I can stay awake any longer.”
Sebastian asked, “So our sojourn is over, I guess?” His hand fiddled with the handle of his cup.
Looking at Sebastian, finally noticing the maturity in his eyes and demeanor that his seventeen-year-old face used to lacked, curious to know what had caused it and how Sebastian had changed over the last five years, Blaine made a snap decision. “I assume you have a life to get back to, so over for now, I guess? But if you’re free later, we could meet up?”
A breathtaking smile bloomed on Sebastian’s face and Blaine was speechless until he blinked a couple times to process it.
Sebastian said, “It’s a date. I’ll take you dancing, and you can forget all about this.”
Feeling brave, Blaine said, “You just want to rub against me.”
Sebastian barked out a laugh and winked. “You always did see right through me.”
They exchanged phones to enter their contact information, and Blaine gave Sebastian his hotel and room number. Promising to pick Blaine up at nine, Sebastian pressed a quick kiss to Blaine’s cheek, and with a final wave, left Blaine on the sidewalk.
Blaine made his way slowly to his hotel, his tiredness quickly settling over his limbs making them feel heavy and sluggish. Once back in the honeymoon suite, he quickly undressed, and in only his briefs, closed the heavy curtains and crawled into bed.
As promised, Sebastian showed up at nine on the dot dressed to go clubbing in a tight, shimmery shirt and dark, form-fitting trousers. He looked delicious; slim and tall with broad shoulders. Blaine was dressed more simply in dark chinos and a plain t-shirt. He hadn’t packed clubbing clothes when he was planning to be on his honeymoon. Deliberately pushing all thoughts of weddings and honeymoons out of his mind, he let his gaze roam over Sebastian until Sebastian stretched obviously and coyly asked, “Like what you see?”
Pondering it for a second, looking into Sebastian’s amused gaze, he finally admitted, “You know something? I do. Not that your ego needs the help, I’m sure.” The last bit was said with his own mocking smile.
Sebastian pursed his lips and replied, “Ooh, direct hit,” but he was grinning so Blaine knew his comment was taken in the spirit it was intended. He had forgotten the joy of bantering with Sebastian. No matter what Blaine said or implied, Sebastian was always one step further over the line and it was thrilling in its own way.
They took a taxi to the club Sebastian had in mind, and there they met up with a couple of Sebastian’s friends, who were already tipsy and having a good time. Sebastian hadn’t told them why Blaine was in Paris alone, but once Blaine had a couple drinks in him, it all came out again. They were appropriately sympathetic and plied him with even more drinks, and all three insisted he spend as much time as possible on the dance floor. When asked why, in a rare serious moment Sebastian said, “Getting hot and sweaty with cute guys will show you that life isn’t over and there are plenty of other options out there. I just want you to know you can be happy again.”
Feeling tears tickle in his eyes but refusing to shed them, Blaine threw his arms around Sebastian and whispered into his ear, “Thank you. You’re being a better friend than I deserve.”
Sebastian’s hand slowly rubbed between his shoulders. “Nonsense. I owe you more than this to ever make up for high school.”
In a burst of inspiration, Blaine straightened up, and held out his hand. “So, let’s both of us start fresh. Hi, I’m Blaine. Recently dumped at the altar.”
Sebastian barked out a laugh, but gamely shook Blaine’s hand. As his thumb rubbed flirtatiously over the top of Blaine’s hand, he replied, “Hi, I’m Sebastian. A reformed-bully and somewhat-reformed asshole, but still incurable flirt.”
Now it was Blaine’s turn to laugh, which he did more freely and with more good humor than he had been feeling for a while, even before being jilted. Still grinning up at Sebastian, Blaine tugged on their joined hands. “Nice to meet you. Let’s dance, Sebastian.”
Sebastian grinned back, and plastered them together once they were in the press of bodies on the dance floor. The music was loud and pulsing and the feel of Sebastian’s hips under his hands was intoxicating, and for the first time in a long while Blaine let loose.
They danced and drank well into the early morning, finally dragging themselves back to Blaine’s hotel after saying goodbye with cheek kisses to Sebastian’s two friends. They had been good guys, and there were other cute boys in the club, but it was Sebastian who had been the main draw all night. It felt like no other cute boy could hold a candle to him. In a burst of clarity, Blaine realized that he didn’t have to feel guilty about it. Kurt was out of the picture with a bang and he could be attracted to Sebastian all he wanted. It was a freeing thought, which made Blaine almost giddy as he asked, “Would you like to come up? I have many little bottles of booze left.”
Sebastian grinned happily in an obviously buzzed way, and said, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Killer.”
They had alternated booze with water at the club, so Blaine was toasted but not feeling so wasted he was out of it, and he suspected Sebastian had drunk about the same amount as he had. Having a couple more tiny drinks wouldn’t do them any harm.
Once Sebastian was settled on the sofa in the suite, Blaine asked, “What’s your poison?”
Sebastian replied, “I’ve probably had enough tequila to last forever, so how about a scotch nightcap?”
Blaine got Sebastian’s scotch, and decided to have the same. Pouring them into tumblers, he presented Sebastian his drink with a flourish. Laughing, Sebastian said, “Thank you, kind sir.”
Blaine took a seat across from Sebastian, twisting so that his leg was bent on the sofa and he could face Sebastian head on. Sebastian mimicked his pose and leaned his head against the back of the sofa. He asked, “So you had a good time, right?”
“I did. I actually had a great time, even with everything. I almost ended up feeling like I was reclaiming myself after yesterday, and the culmination of the last year and more that it represented.” Blaine gave it some thought. It felt like he had gone through a seismic shift in his perspective on the last five years, and it continued to be a revelation. “Which is amazing considering I didn’t even know I needed that, but I really did.”
Sebastian smirked at him. “Well, good. That’s more than I hoped for, to be honest.”
“Thank you. You really didn’t have to do it, but I appreciate it.”
“As I said, least I could do.”
Blaine said, “Now, none of that. We’ve turned over a new leaf, remember?”
Sebastian smiled at him again, and it was soft and warm this time, not like his usual smirk. Blaine was charmed. To stop himself from getting caught in the moment, wondering if they were having a moment anyway, he said, “You know you never did explain how you came to study at the Sorbonne and ended up at Interpol.”
Shrugging, Sebastian replied, “Nothing really mysterious there, actually. I always planned to come back to Paris after Dalton, and the Sorbonne was the obvious choice. I was a music major, but then took some sociology courses, and found my interest captured. I like singing, but I don’t have your obvious talent or drive for it, so I decided to pursue the dual major as a backup. And then there was a career fair and Interpol was there, and the rest is history. I’m assistant for one of the liaisons here in France specializing in French cooperation with the United States police forces.”
Too blown away to hide his amazement, Blaine said, “Wow. That sounds so serious. I’m really impressed.” Thinking about Sebastian’s time at Dalton, he asked, “Ohio really was an exile for you, huh?”
Actually shuddering and seemingly not even faking it, Sebastian grimaced. “You have no idea. I’m so glad I’m out of there and out from under my parents’ thumbs.”
“You don't get along with them?”
“We’ve never been close, no.”
“I had some rough years with my parents when I was younger, but we’ve grown closer once I moved to New York. I think they worried about me in Ohio and felt I was safer in the city, oddly enough, which let them loosen up once I went away to college.”
“I don’t think my parents ever wanted children. I haven’t actually talked to either of them in more than a year.”
Blaine frowned, but Sebastian only shrugged again looking unconcerned. “Like I said, we’ve never been close. It bothered me when I was a kid, but by the time I hit Dalton, I was over it.”
Deciding to drop it since it wasn’t like he could do more than offer consolation that Sebastian obviously didn’t want, Blaine asked, “Will you ever move back to the States?”
Sebastian hummed, and his gaze became vacant as he thought. “I don’t know. I love Paris. It’s been more home to me than anywhere else, but at the same time, sometimes I have itchy feet and want somewhere new and exciting. Maybe New York or L.A. would be a nice change for that. I’m considering law school, but don’t know if I want to do it full-time and leave Interpol.”
They were both silent as Sebastian thought further. Still looking contemplative, Sebastian continued, “Sometimes I feel like I’m in a rut here. Still treading the same paths and shallow relationships I had when I was sixteen. But I don’t know if I know how to change that without being elsewhere to kick start it. So yes and no.”
“And do you? Want to change that, I mean.” Blaine told himself that he only cared for Sebastian’s sake, but he could hear his conscience laughing at him in the back of his mind.
Sebastian smiled wryly, but it looked like it was directed internally. “Some days I want someone to wake up to. Some days, I’m more at home alone like I was when I was sixteen. So who knows?”
Blaine decided to admit his own truths. “I’ve always been afraid to be without Kurt. I used to think it was love, but I’m coming to realize it was probably just fear of being alone. Which is a hard truth I’m struggling with today. I don’t know whether my anger at myself is greater than my anger at Kurt.”
“Oh, definitely be angrier at Kurt. He deserves it. You did nothing wrong. You just wanted to try to make up for your mistakes and be with the one you love.”
“You make it sound so clear-cut.”
“That’s only because I’m not the one in the middle of the feelings. Trust me, I still completely fail at relationships myself.”
“It’s always easier to objectively see other people’s problems, huh?”
Sebastian just smiled back and nodded slightly.
His curiosity eating at him, Blaine tentatively asked, “So are you in a relationship? I’m sorry if I’m taking you away from someone.”
“There’s no one right now. There was a couple months ago. We lasted just under a year before it fizzled out.”
Blaine grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“Eh, so it goes. It was at least a mutual decision. We drifted apart, but both of us realized it before one of us was more invested than the other. We still catch up for coffee every month or so, actually.”
Wanting to lighten the mood a bit, Blaine said, “That does sound like a better break-up than mine, so yeah, I take my condolences back.”
Sebastian laughed as Blaine wanted, and their conversation moved onto more neutral things like Dalton, Blaine’s acting and singing prospects, and Sebastian’s life in Paris. Blaine’s buzz was lifting as the hours passed and they conversed. The sun was even beginning to rise.
He had gotten both Sebastian and himself water after the first bottles of scotch. In the back of his mind, no matter the actual topic of conversation, Blaine’s thoughts were mostly on relationships and his with Kurt and how it affected so much of his self-worth and sense-of-self.
He had given up important things because of Kurt, and looking back with clearer eyes, a whole slew of them were bugging him. Staring directly at Sebastian again, Blaine accepted that he wanted him. Another thing he hadn’t been able to admit to himself while in high school, because Kurt wouldn’t accept that Blaine could want someone else without cheating, even before he had cheated.
He had been attracted to Sebastian when they were younger, but tonight it was burning in him. He didn’t know if it was just for the night, for the length of his false honeymoon in Paris, or for forever, but he reveled in the uncertainty this time. Willing to take a big risk, out of the blue and not at all related to the question Sebastian had just asked about his brother, Blaine admitted, “You know, I’ve never?”
“Never what, Killer?”
Blaine gave Sebastian a look, and gathering his courage bluntly said, “Been fucked.”
Blaine watched as shock blanked out Sebastian’s face. Sebastian leaned his head onto the back of the couch again and calmly said, “That’s just tragic. Your ass was made to be fucked.” His voice was husky but he didn’t move any closer, just sat there with his gaze intent on Blaine’s eyes. The moment felt perilous, but Blaine didn’t want to back down.
Staring back, Blaine admitted, “I always wanted to. But Kurt, well, he was fastidious and while he didn’t mind me in him too much, he had a real problem even putting his fingers in me. I think he felt it was dirty.”
“It is, but in the best possible way,” Sebastian said with a smirk.
Blaine let his own grin emerge. “I always thought so.” Sebastian winked at him, and Blaine couldn’t keep his laugh inside. He didn’t even try, really. As his laugh faded, he licked his suddenly dry lips and asked, “Would you?”
Sebastian stilled preternaturally, and then eased his posture and reached out and pulled on Blaine’s tucked in ankle to align his leg with the back of the couch. With his grip still on Blaine’s ankle, Sebastian pulled him down the couch slowly and surely as he smoothly crawled between Blaine’s legs until he was hovering over Blaine like a large jungle cat with prey. Sebastian demanded, “Ask me again.”
Feeling a blush stealing over his face and down his neck, but not breaking the lock of their gazes, Blaine licked his lips again and asked, “Will you fuck me?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Sebastian whispered against his lips before kissing him hot and dirty. The fire that was burning inside Blaine raged harder and hotter as their mouths connected. Moaning into the kiss, Blaine’s worry seeped out and he was pliant as Sebastian tilted his face for a better angle. Sebastian was an amazing kisser. Confident and skilled, he took control easily, and Blaine went with it. He was feeling like he needed someone else to be in charge, even if only for a brief moment.
Instead he focused on caressing Sebastian’s back and exploring the breadth of his shoulders. His shirt was soft and silky, but Blaine wanted bare skin, so soon he was tugging the shirt up and sliding his hands along Sebastian’s lower back. Sebastian pushed back into his hands, and Blaine loved that. He felt like a spark was traveling between Sebastian and him from one mouth to the other and from his hands to Sebastian’s body, causing ripples in energy between them.
After long, drugging kisses, Sebastian eased back and panted into his mouth. Blaine blinked his eyes open to find Sebastian staring down at him. In a deep murmur Sebastian said, “Take me to bed, Blaine.”
Blaine just nodded and reluctantly stopped mapping out Sebastian’s back to untangle his hands from underneath his shirt. Once he was free, Sebastian levered up to his knees between Blaine’s thighs, but stilled there looking down at Blaine with one hand on Blaine’s upper thigh. The moment hung for a poignant second, until he softly touched the side of Blaine’s mouth with the other hand and Blaine couldn’t stop from kissing his fingertips lightly.
Sebastian gave him a sweet smile, and Blaine marveled at how endearing the expression was. Sebastian was always good-looking, but he was beyond gorgeous when he smiled like that. Blaine felt his heart trip and he had to remind himself that this wasn’t love. Probably. He didn’t know what it was, at any rate, so he should beware getting his heart involved too early.
Sebastian clambered off him and off the couch, and Blaine slowly followed as he recovered from that smile. Taking Blaine’s hand once they were standing, Sebastian was obviously waiting for him to lead the way to the bedroom of the suite, so Blaine tugged and pulled him to the right doorway, and into the darker room. Once by the bed, Sebastian let go of his hand and crowded against his back, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s torso under his shirt.
Trustingly, Blaine leaned back and let Sebastian caress his belly and pecs. Blaine had expected this to be more rushed, but was pleasantly surprised by how slow and tender both of them were being. He especially liked how the gentle touches were still full of heat. Just with the memory of Sebastian’s kisses and his caresses now, Blaine’s cock was fully hardened, and they hadn’t even gotten their shirts off.
When he became too restless, Blaine turned around and began unbuttoning Sebastian’s shirt with fumbling fingers. Sebastian waited until all the buttons were undone and Blaine’s hands were free before tugging Blaine’s shirt over his head, which Blaine appreciated. Once the t-shirt cleared Blaine’s head, he could see that Sebastian was already shrugging off his shirt and letting it pool on the floor behind him. Roaming his hands over Sebastian’s naked chest, Blaine let his fingertips travel from beauty mark to beauty mark as goosebumps followed in their wake across Sebastian’s chest.
It was fascinating to watch and feel, but before he could become too entranced, Sebastian reached for his jaw, and turning his face up, pulled him into more deep kisses. Blaine let his hands move up to Sebastian’s shoulders and into his hair, letting his hands comb through the silky strands. Sebastian’s hands weren’t stationary either. They were moving across Blaine’s back, and holding him tight across the shoulders.
As their embrace grew more passionate, Sebastian broke their kiss to whisper, “Jesus, you feel so good. We need to be in bed now.”
Blaine replied, “Yeah, god, yes,” and let go of Sebastian’s hair to attack his buckle, and began sucking bruises down Sebastian’s shoulder to his nipple. Sebastian’s hands were undoing Blaine’s belt as well, but Blaine could feel him tremble under his mouth. When he reached Sebastian’s nipple, he wasn’t surprised when Sebastian’s hands stilled and he moaned brokenly as Blaine lightly bit it.
Blaine finished with Sebastian’s trousers, which were light enough to start sliding off, which seemed to galvanize Sebastian back into action. He shimmied to help his trousers fall, and resumed undoing Blaine’s chinos. Blaine let go of Sebastian’s nipple with a small sucking pop, and helped push Sebastian’s trousers the rest of the way off, leaving him in tight boxer-briefs.
Blaine’s chinos slid off easier, he didn’t wear his pants as tight as he did in high school, leaving him in his dark briefs. Sebastian didn’t waste any time after that. His hands slid inside Blaine’s underwear and cupped his ass, lightly squeezing. Now it was Blaine’s turn to moan, and he frantically pushed down his briefs and Sebastian’s boxer briefs as well, finally getting them both naked.
As he pressed forward, his cock nestled between Sebastian’s thighs, and Sebastian’s rubbed against his belly. Between Sebastian’s hands squeezing his ass rhythmically and their cocks pressing hard between each other’s bodies, it felt glorious, and Blaine groaned loudly with each squeeze.
Sebastian took his mouth in another fierce kiss that had Blaine shaking anew. Who knew Sebastian would turn out to be such a brilliant kisser? Blaine had expected him to be more orgasm-oriented, but now he was letting their pace evolve with no rushing from him, instead making Blaine edgy with desire and the one to propel them along.
It was intoxicating, really.
Blaine began walking backwards towards the edge of the bed, and tumbled down once the back of his knees hit the mattress, pulling Sebastian down on top of him. Luckily, Sebastian must have been paying close attention because he moved his hands the second Blaine started dropping back and managed to use them in his landing, and have them take most of his weight off Blaine. As they bounced on the mattress the kiss broke with a huffed laugh from both of them. Once they stopped moving, Sebastian was grinning freely down at Blaine. He looked tousled and adorable, and Blaine could only smile goofily back, even as his desire continued to rage.
Blaine said, “Let’s scoot up the bed.”
Sebastian eased off of him, and Blaine used his elbows and feet to move himself up towards the headboard. Sebastian followed on his hands and knees, lingering at Blaine’s knee to put a love bite there. Sucking bites up Blaine’s leg that Blaine suspected were payback for the string of bruises down Sebastian’s chest, Sebastian slowly made his way to Blaine’s cock.
Blaine was thankful when Sebastian went right to licking a path up it from root to head without any teasing. He was so turned on by this point, he couldn’t take much more. Already the feel of Sebastian’s hot and wet mouth was pushing him to his limits.
With that in mind, Blaine said, “Wait, wait,” and when Sebastian pulled off with a questioning look, rolled to reach into the bedside table where he had automatically stored the condoms and lube from his toiletries bag. Snagging the lube and a condom, he rolled back and practically threw them at Sebastian, who laughed at his enthusiasm. Blaine was rolling his eyes, but he laughed too when the condom hit Sebastian in the chin as he fumbled to catch them.
With light mocking Sebastian said, ‘I’m guessing this means you’d like me to get a move onto the fucking portion of the program.” He was grinning widely, but was also curling up onto his knees, and opening the lube, so Blaine didn’t care. He was eager to move forward. The closer he got to getting what he wanted, the more he felt like he had been waiting forever.
He had the thought that he almost wasn’t sure whether he had been waiting to be fucked or waiting to be with Sebastian, but he ruthlessly pushed that down. That would bring up a whole slew of issues this wasn’t the time for. Luckily he was too turned on to get lost in his head and was able to get lost in sensation again instead.
Sebastian said, “Put a pillow under your hips. It’ll make the angle better.”
Blaine complied, and with a deep breath laid back down with his legs spread around Sebastian and his hips propped up slightly on a pillow. His legs were spread wider than before, and he felt more exposed, but he also felt good like this since anticipation was strumming through him.
After dribbling some lube on his fingers and rubbing them together to spread it over them, Sebastian dropped the lube and pushed up one of Blaine’s knees which spread Blaine’s legs wider. He kissed the apex of Blaine’s bent knee and then slowly pushed one lubed finger into Blaine’s ass.
Blaine had fingered himself, but Sebastian’s finger was longer and he had a better angle, so Blaine immediately felt the difference. He squirmed and his breath whooshed out of him. It was different and weird, but oh so good. Sebastian was watching his face avidly, so he nodded frantically. He definitely wanted another.
Blaine watched eagerly as Sebastian got some more lube for his fingers, and then felt him ease in two.
As Sebastian pushed his fingers fully in, he pressed up and rubbed, and Blaine writhed like a live wire. He was moaning before he was even conscious of making the sound. Damn, that felt fantastic. He wanted to beg for more, but Sebastian was already moving his fingers in and out and hitting the spot more often than not. Blaine felt sweat pop out on his brow, and didn’t at all stop making pornographic sounds.
As if from far away, Blaine heard Sebastian say, “Fuck, that is so hot,” but he couldn’t care less how he looked as long as Sebastian didn’t stop.
After who knew how long, Blaine felt the stretch burn more, and he blinked open his eyes to look at Sebastian, who was staring at his fingers in Blaine’s ass intently. Blaine guessed Sebastian had added a third finger to stretch him, but the burn was already fading into the overwhelming pleasure he was riding.
Then Sebastian removed all of his fingers, and Blaine was left panting at the loss. He looked wildly at Sebastian, who was too busy putting on the condom to notice Blaine’s panic. This eased Blaine, but also increased his nervousness oddly enough. He had loved the fingers, but this was a cock, something that felt like he had been waiting for forever, but at the same time was unknown territory for this. He took two deep breaths, which Sebastian did notice.
Moving to crouch over Blaine, Sebastian put one hand on his face. “Hey. You still okay there?”
Breathlessly, Blaine said, “Yeah, yeah. Just… you know.”
“I can just finger you, no problem. It seemed like you were enjoying that. Suck you off while I’m doing it.” Sebastian put on a slightly leering face, and Blaine knew it was to make him smile and he appreciated Sebastian’s concern more than he could say. So he smiled in return, and looking up into Sebastian’s worried face and his understanding smile, and Blaine believed Sebastian would totally give up on fucking him if he wasn’t feeling it now. Blaine’s nerves calmed.
He realized a part of him had still seen Sebastian as a callous, sixteen-year-old boy, not the caring, fun man in front of him, which was unfortunate. Because he had been attracted to that boy, but he burned for this man. With confidence returning to his voice, Blaine said, “No, I want you to. Just had a blip there for a second. I’m good. I promise.”
Sebastian’s gaze searched Blaine’s eyes, and Blaine tugged him into a quick, but hard kiss. “I’m great, seriously.”
The kiss seemed to loosen Sebastian up, and he smiled down at Blaine. He asked, “Like this, or do you want to roll over? That might be easier?”
This caused Blaine to grin. “I do yoga. I’m sure I can handle it like this.”
Sebastian winked back. “You are just a fount of surprises this weekend, Killer.” He moved to get into better position as Blaine pulled his legs up and wide. Sebastian reached one hand back, first stroking Blaine’s cock back to full hardness, and then down to pump his own cock a few times before guiding it into Blaine’s ass. He murmured, “Breathe out and relax, okay?”
Blaine nodded, and did just that as Sebastian pushed inside slowly, but inexorably. The stretch felt tight, but the pain was fleeting. As soon as Sebastian was inside and pushed in further, his cock slid by that magical spot, and Blaine felt his body jerk in pleasure again. God, but he really loved that.
Once he was fully inside and his pelvis was flush with Blaine’s ass, Sebastian stilled and curled down to press a sweet kiss to Blaine’s lips. “Feel good or not?”
Instead of snapping out a thoughtless answer, Blaine took a second to really sense how it felt and how he felt about it. He felt full and stretched and a bit uncomfortable, but it was overlaid by intense pleasure and building desire. Looking up into Sebastian’s face, he was so glad it was him and here and now. It all felt right. He grinned again. “I’m brilliant.”
Sebastian laughed, and pressed another kiss to his mouth. Rolling his hips, watching Blaine’s face intently, smiling wider when Blaine moaned uncontrollable as he hit that spot, Sebastian replied, “That’s what I live to hear.”
Blaine didn’t know whether he meant the words or the moan, but he didn’t care. He was too busy egging Sebastian on to do that again, and throwing his head back in ecstasy when he did. Sebastian’s thrusts started out slow and careful, but as Blaine got more comfortable and relaxed, they became harder and harder, and Sebastian began grunting with the effort and effect.
As Sebastian’s cock stroked his prostate more often than not on Sebastian’s thrusts, Blaine found he couldn’t remain still. He wanted to writhe and thrust back, and not just take it but fuck back. So he did, which made Sebastian groan louder and thrust harder, which ramped up Blaine’s mounting desire too.
He didn’t know if he could come like this, his cock was rubbing against Sebastian’s belly, but it didn’t feel like enough to actually get him off. He found he didn’t care if he did or not. Everything else felt so downright wonderful and ablaze, he actually wanted to push off coming forever, just to stay in this feeling and moment. He knew it wouldn’t but to have it now was worth it as a revelation.
Sebastian was curled tight into Blaine and his breath tickled Blaine’s hair at his hairline. He was panting hard, groaning on every out breath, and unable to resist, Blaine tugged on his shoulders to pull him into a quick, bruising kiss. Sebastian returned it with fervor. After the kiss ended, Sebastian stared wildly down into Blaine’s face as his thrusts grew jagged and impossibly faster.
Knowing what was coming, Blaine pulled him tighter and said, “Yeah, come for me, do it.”
With one last drawn out groan, throwing his head back at the last second, Sebastian did. As his back came out of its arch, Sebastian slumped onto Blaine for a brief second, and his head came to rest side by side with Blaine’s.
Blaine was enjoying Sebastian’s weight pressing down, but he was happy that before it got to be too much, Sebastian turned his head to press a brief kiss to Blaine’s cheek and then pulled out gently using one hand to help the condom stay on until he was out. As Blaine stretched out his legs, Sebastian took care of the condom, and then once his hands were free, stroked Blaine’s cock. While sporting a filthy grin, Sebastian used his other hand to push two fingers back into Blaine’s ass, Blaine said, “Oh, fuck yes.”
Sebastian laughed outright at that, but Blaine was too busy fucking backwards and forwards into Sebastian’s amazing hands. Sebastian bent down and sucked Blaine’s cock into his mouth, and that was all Blaine needed to come hard and yell out his orgasm.
Blaine slumped back into the bed in a puddle of release, and closed his eyes. He knew he had a dopey grin on his face, but he didn’t care. Sebastian had pulled his mouth off, and his hand was rubbing Blaine’s stomach. After a second or two for his wits to gather, Blaine opened his eyes, and looked up to see Sebastian smiling fondly down at him from between his legs.
Reaching out, Blaine said, “Come up here, you.”
Sebastian crawled from between his legs, and slithered up to be next to Blaine. He lay down on his side with his head held up by his bent arm. His hand was still warm on Blaine’s belly. He said, “So, verdict?”
Laughing, Blaine said, “You want a grade?”
Sebastian pinched his belly playfully in retaliation. “Not for me, goofball. I’m secure enough to be confident in bed. But for getting fucked in general. I just want to make sure.”
“Then stop worrying about it. As I’m sure you noticed I enjoyed it a lot. Definitely two thumbs up, would do again in a heartbeat.”
Sebastian kissed him and murmured, “Good,” against his lips.
After the kiss ended, Blaine asked, “Can you stay? I know it’s morning.”
“I don’t have plans today. I’d love to stay.”
“Then let’s get under the covers and get some sleep for round two.”
This made Sebastian laugh, and Blaine joined him, although he was totally serious. A round two was now high on his must do list for Paris.
In the middle of their nap, Sebastian woke Blaine with heavy petting and hard kisses and proceeded to fuck him furiously making Blaine see stars and come like a freight train. It was with an air of desperation, getting more frantic as Blaine came and called out his name, until he too came hard a few seconds later.
As they came down from the high, Blaine basked. Every time with Sebastian was turning into one of the most intense fucks of his life. Now he was wishing for a round three, and maybe a round forever. Sleep overtook him before he could be scared by that thought.
Blaine finally woke up for the day midafternoon Sunday, but let Sebastian sleep, although he wondered if he should. He assumed Sebastian had work the next day, so maybe it would be best to get him up? Uncertain he stared at Sebastian for a bit, but then decided he was being creepy and left the bedroom. Instead, he puttered around taking a shower, straightening the suite, and ordering room service.
As he did all this, he thought about being with Sebastian. He realized he hadn’t compared him to Kurt even once. He hadn’t even thought of Kurt once they started kissing. It felt like the death knell in his feelings for Kurt. If he could sleep with Sebastian and not only not feel guilty, but not even think of Kurt, it really was all over but the moving out.
He didn’t know how he felt about that. Was he just hurt and still reacting to that, or did he really fall out of love the instant he received that note from Kurt calling off the wedding?
They had been so in love in high school, and he mourned that, but he found he didn’t mourn the last five years as much. He had always felt like he was on the precipice of disappointing Kurt, and thus couldn’t feel secure in Kurt’s affections. It had been draining. So he was left wondering about his love for Kurt and whether it was truly as all-consuming as he had always assumed.
Just as the failed wedding had brought back a lot of memories and reconsiderations, so did this. The last five years of his life with Kurt didn’t fare well in comparison. He admitted he was seeing Sebastian through blissed-out, rose-colored glasses, but that didn’t discount how stale he and Kurt had become, both sexually and interpersonally. Kurt barely tried, and all of Blaine’s efforts fell flat. It had just taken something so amazing and mind-blowing to startle the truth out of Blaine’s subconscious.
Secure in his thoughts now, Blaine knew he had to move out of his apartment near Kurt. A clean break was needed at this point. Taking a quick look to see if Sebastian was still sleeping, Blaine got dressed and then mostly closed the door on his way out so that the room service cart didn’t wake Sebastian up when it arrived.
A little bit later, Blaine answered the door expecting room service, so he was doubly shocked when it was Kurt standing there with a blinding smile. Kurt came striding in, saying, “I’m so happy I found you! We can fix this! An elopement in Paris; how romantic is that?”
Stunned, all Blaine could ask was, “What are you doing here?”
Kurt took his hands. “I realized what a mistake I made, so I came to find you.”
“You stood me up at our wedding; it’s bigger than some silly mistake!” All the fury he had been feeling since Friday came rushing back. Kurt acted like Blaine should be totally over his actions, and Blaine realized that in the past he had let Kurt get away with too much. Kurt had walked over his feelings more than once, but Blaine had always downplayed it to avoid conflict. He wasn’t going to do that anymore. He shook off Kurt’s hands and took a step back.
Kurt looked shocked at Blaine’s anger. “I said I was sorry.”
Blaine scoffed. “Actually, no you didn’t. But that’s beside the point, sorry isn’t enough!”
Anger was starting to fill Kurt’s face, but for once Blaine didn’t care. He couldn’t believe Kurt’s gall in coming here like nothing was wrong after jilting him. Looking at Kurt’s clueless and angry face, Blaine felt the final piece slot into place. He knew for certain now that although his changing feelings for Kurt felt sudden, they really weren’t. They had been falling apart for a long time, and although the wedding was the culmination, it was just the cherry on the disappointing sundae. He had just been too blind to see it, and too busy playing catch-up in Kurt’s passive-aggressive games.
Before Blaine could say anything further though, Sebastian came slinking out of the bedroom wearing only his trousers, half-undone. Considering he had been naked before, Blaine considered it a positive sign that Sebastian wouldn’t be completely obnoxious. Sebastian was saying, “What’s all the yelling- oh. Kurt.” He slouched against the doorway, crossing his bare ankles and his arms over his bare chest, with a sly grin on his face. He looked like sin with love bites peppering down his chest along with his beauty marks.
Kurt’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish. Blaine was briefly, furiously satisfied with Kurt’s response until he remembered how volatile Kurt was around Sebastian. Then worry filtered in alongside the anger.
Kurt turned towards him. In a shriek, he asked, “What is he doing here?”
Before Blaine could find the right words to put Kurt in his place, Sebastian smirked harder. “I’m the rebound fuck. What are you doing here?” Blaine couldn’t take his eyes off Sebastian. Was that all he was, truly? Sebastian gave him a barely there wink, and suddenly he knew Sebastian had known all along that it was Kurt. This was all a show for Kurt’s benefit. What Blaine didn’t know was whether it was just to get Kurt’s goat, or if he was protecting Blaine from making another mistake. This made him pause. Would he have taken Kurt back if he hadn’t run into Sebastian? Would being alone and adrift have been too much for him again? He hoped not, but he couldn’t be sure.
Kurt straightened into a line of tension. He glared at Blaine. “It hasn’t even been three days and you’re already cheating on me!”
That made Blaine furious again, and suddenly the words were easy. Looking directly into Kurt’s eyes he said, “You left me at the altar! We’re not together!”
“I hope you know there is no going back from this,” Kurt said hotly.
With a steady voice he was proud of, suddenly even more sure of the truth than he was seconds before, Blaine laid it out. “Kurt, there was already no going back. I don’t even know what you’re doing here.”
Blaine could almost feel the smugness emanating from Sebastian’s side of the room, but he didn’t care. He was too consumed by his sense of self coming back in a rush. It felt like he was freefalling, but it was a glorious feeling this time, instead of a panicking one.
Kurt looked hurt, but that quickly turned to more furious anger. Blaine didn’t care. He was over playing Kurt’s games. He said, “I think you should go.”
Kurt asked, “What about him?” He pointed accusingly at Sebastian.
Kurt looked thunderous. “You’re choosing him over me?”
After flicking his gaze over to Sebastian, who had a nonchalant but suspiciously blank look on his face, Blaine looked straight at Kurt. With surety in his voice, he said, “You know something? I am.”
Kurt’s mouth closed with a click. He lifted his chin and said, “You’ll be sorry when all is said and done, I hope you know.”
He stared at Blaine as if waiting for a retraction, but Blaine just stared back, until Kurt swiveled on his heel and strode out of the room with one last disdainful look at Sebastian. Still keeping his smirk, Sebastian waggled his fingers in a good-bye. As the door shut behind Kurt, Blaine slumped.
Stepping towards him, Sebastian said, “Hey now, none of that. Don’t let him ruin you again.” Sebastian came confidently over and pulled him into a soft kiss. As they kissed, Blaine thought about how Sebastian had phrased that. Ruin you. In some ways he had to agree. He had subsumed so much of himself to be perfect for Kurt that he wasn’t sure who he was any more.
Once the kiss ended, Blaine admitted, “I don’t know what we’re doing. Are you just a rebound thing?”
With a brutally honest expression cracked open on his face, Sebastian said, “Not if I have anything to say about it. I know I don’t deserve you any more than Hummel did, but I’m at least smart enough to hold on with both hands tight until you force me to go.”
Blaine pondered that as he stared at Sebastian. It was probably too soon, but he didn’t want to let this go either. He had been struggling with that feeling since waking up. It was too soon on the heels of his non-wedding and the involuntary break-up with Kurt, too soon to feel this serious about Sebastian, but he felt like taking the risk. Like this man in front of him would be worth the chance. He felt his face soften into its own warm smile. “Just so you know, you’re a real jerk for appearing as you did just to piss off Kurt.”
“But I’m your jerk.” Sebastian sounded confident now and he was smiling wide.
Blaine returned it with his own full-wattage smile. “Yeah, you are.”
They did the long distance thing for a year, flying every couple of months to see each other, but over time both proved to be committed. They would rather Skype each other than hook-up with someone else. Still, Sebastian knew Blaine was glad for this time apart as he learned to stand on his own two feet and untangled his life from Kurt’s. Blaine said he had pretty much avoided seeing Kurt even when moving out, and Sebastian believed him. Blaine still got a bit of bite in his voice when he talked about Kurt, and if they had met again, Sebastian figured he would have had to listen to a long rant.
It had been a long year for Sebastian. He knew his feelings for Blaine had started out stronger than Blaine’s for him, but he had remained confident they would work out if he was just patient, even though it didn’t come easy to him to be so. Now Blaine was willing to live in the same city and Sebastian was over the moon. In New York to interview for an open position at the local Interpol office and for his orientation for New York Law School’s evening program, Sebastian was early for his coffee date with Blaine. His interview had gone well; they were more of a formality than anything, so they hadn’t taken the full day Sebastian had allocated.
He was reading his email on his phone while he waited for Blaine when he heard a cough above him. He looked up to find Kurt Hummel looking disdainfully down at him. He smirked. This was going to be fun.
Kurt loftily said, “Sebastian.”
Raising an eyebrow, he simply said, “Kurt.”
Snidely, Kurt asked, “So how did being the rebound fling work out for you?”
Seeing Blaine come up behind Kurt with two fresh coffees, Sebastian put extra nonchalance in his voice as he said, “I believe I said I was the rebound fuck, and it worked out fantastically. Isn’t that right, Killer?”
Kurt startled and turned around to see who Sebastian was staring at, finally noticing Blaine. Blaine was rolling his eyes, and Sebastian grinned. Blaine came around Kurt and sat in the empty chair that had Sebastian’s arm across the back. Sebastian kept his gaze on Kurt and could see the shock in his face. He wanted to laugh but kept it in, just smiled like the cat that got the canary. He knew Blaine would know his feelings, and would take him to task for baiting Kurt if he let all his mirth out, even if the look on Kurt’s face was hilarious.
On the other hand, if he kept it together, he could probably wrangle an extra blowjob out of it.
Kurt said, “Can I talk to you alone, Blaine?”
Sebastian stiffened. Nothing good would come from Blaine talking to Kurt. Kurt would just upset him and put him down, and Sebastian would have to coax him back into an even keel. He knew Blaine had worked hard to recover from his relationship with Kurt, but Sebastian still worried. He hated it when Blaine had his self-doubt moments. Blaine, obvious feeling his tension, put a hand on his knee. He said, “I think not. There’s nothing we need to discuss alone, Kurt.”
Kurt got a constipated look on his face. Relaxing, Sebastian took a sip of his coffee to hide his smug grin. Crossing his arms, Kurt huffed. Before he could say anything else, Blaine asked, “Was there anything else? I’d like to get back to my coffee date.”
Sebastian internally cheered at Blaine taking charge. Besides it being hot, it made him happy that Blaine wasn’t going to let Kurt control their interactions. Kurt, unable to take a hint or not caring about Blaine’s feelings, spat out, “How can you still be with this… this smirking meerkat?”
More calmly than Sebastian would have thought he could manage, Blaine said, “Who I spend my time with is no longer your concern.”
“I still care about you, Blaine.”
Sebastian couldn’t keep his scoff inside this time. Blaine squeezed his knee, so Sebastian didn’t let his tirade out. He was more interested in seeing Blaine stand up for himself anyway. To support him he curled his arm around Blaine’s shoulder and squeezed lightly, and then put it back on the chair to let Blaine continue to stand on his own. Blaine said, “That may be true, but you lost the right to have a say about my life a year ago, and I have no interest in hearing it. I’d appreciate it if you would leave us alone now.”
Kurt huffed, but after a couple seconds stare-down with Blaine, turned and left.
Sebastian leaned over to whisper in Blaine’s ear. “You have never been sexier. I love it when you stand up for yourself.”
Blaine’s hand slid up his thigh and nestled between his crossed legs just shy of his cock as he turned towards Sebastian with a mischievous smile. He said, “Tell me more.”
Sebastian laughed and did just that.