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Flower Symbolism

Summary:

Hikaru's in love. Pavel's confused. The rest of the crew are way too amused.

Notes:

Because I ship Chulu. :)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Hikaru couldn't tell you when he started falling for Pavel, just when he knew when it'd already happened.

They'd always been close, of course. They were the pilot and the navigator. They worked side-by-side every day. Pavel had saved his life on Day One. So they'd always been friends. And since Pavel had come aboard when he was seventeen and Hikaru had been twenty-three, Hikaru had quickly adopted the "big brother" role. Especially after Sagacita. Obviously Pavel did not need physical protection and hadn't since he was thirteen. Emotional protection was a different story altogether. Hikaru had reamed Kirk out for the (unintentional) shit he'd pulled, and had been a heartbeat away from doing the same to Spock when Nyota had intercepted him and basically told him to calm the fuck down.

And then they'd started sparring together, and Hikaru had convinced all of the bridge crew to get Pavel those presents after he'd lost his butterfly knife, and Pavel had saved his skin a few more times. Which was a little embarrassing, because Hikaru was a goddamn fencing master and by all rights should've been the one doing the saving, but who cared? So, yeah. Definitely close.

Then Pavel went and almost got killed. He'd been kidnapped by Klingons and Hikaru's heartrate had gone through the roof when they'd been tracking the ship down. He didn't panic, he never panicked, but it'd been a close thing. And then Pavel had mostly gotten himself out, just needed a little help from Mr. Scott, but that damn Klingon had managed to beam aboard too and stabbed Pavel. And he'd flat-lined on the table and all Hikaru could think was I can't lose him.

Nyota had been the one to poke him in the right direction, after the surgery was done and Pavel was sedated on a biobed, Hikaru sitting next to him. She raised her eyebrows. "How long have you been here?"

Hikaru ran a hand over his face. His uniform was wrinkled and he had a dark five o'clock shadow. He felt like he'd been hit by a barge. "Since the end of Alpha shift."

"That was seven hours ago."

Wow. Time really flew by when your nerves were shot to hell.

"Go to your room," Nyota said gently. "Take a shower. Get some sleep. He'll still be here tomorrow."

Hikaru hesitated. He knew she was right, and that he looked like a train wreck and had to pilot the ship in about five hours. But the thought of leaving just made Hikaru's skin crawl.

"McCoy will take good care of him," Nyota continued. "And Chapel, too. He's not even going to wake up for another twenty hours, at least. You really want the first thing he sees to be your goatee?"

Hikaru put a hand over his chin. "I tried the goatee look a couple of years ago. It actually worked out pretty well. Made me look evil, though, so I got rid of it." He stood and stretched, wincing as his bones creaked. "All right, I'm going."

Nyota nodded. "And maybe tell him how you feel when he wakes up?"

Hikaru paused and gave her a strange look. "What?"

She gave him a look.

"No," he said, suddenly defensive. "It's not like that."

She raised an eyebrow.

"It's not! He's my best friend. I'm just worried about him."

She was clearly unimpressed. "You're smarter than that, Sulu."

Confused, tired, and sleep-deprived, Hikaru just went to his room. He thought about it as he showered, tried and failed to sleep, throughout his shift, and when he came back down to Medical. He fell asleep there, his head pillowed in his arms on Pavel's biobed. Pavel must've woken up at some point at least partway, because when Hikaru woke up Pavel was holding his arm, and Hikaru felt something warm and fuzzy unravel in his belly.

Shit, he thought. I'm a goner.

He didn't say anything. When Pavel woke up, they bitched about bad hospital food instead of feelings.

Because Hikaru had seen this before. They all had. Living in close quarters on a space ship for so long made emotions intense. People jumped into relationships, thinking the other person was the center of the universe, only to end up shattered and screaming at each other and transferred to different ships, not even following each other on social media. And a near-death experience only made things worse.

So Hikaru waited. He was nothing if not patient; one didn't become a fencing master, pilot, or xenobotanist overnight. He watched himself whenever he was in close proximity to Pavel, and watched Pavel, too, to see if he was showing any interest.

Pavel never showed interest, but Hikaru's only grew.

Especially after Pavel had saved his life (again), this time at an Andorian villa where the crew had gotten drugged and almost kidnapped. Hikaru's memories of the fight were hazy at best. He remembered breaking one of the would-be kidnappers' necks, and Pavel dragging him through the gardens as his limbs got heavier and heavier, and Pavel getting stained with Andorian blood as he kept fighting while Hikaru passed out.

Not the most attractive look. But Hikaru saw a picture of Giotto drooling into a bowl of soup while he was passed out on the table, so he didn't feel too embarrassed about it.

Hikaru went to the refresher courses that Pavel helped Giotto with, even the ones he didn't need to go to, because he knew Pavel was insecure as hell about showing his skills in front of crowds, too used to being overlooked and the protection that afforded. He listened and tried to understand Pavel's tangents whenever he got struck with a genius idea and tried not to concentrate on how curly his hair got when he'd gone without sleep for a while, or the dimples on his face and spark in his eye whenever he got excited. He got Pavel coffee in the mess (black, four sugars) when he was elbow-deep in equations and charts, and switched him to decaf without saying a word whenever Pavel hit hour 38 of no sleep.

Pavel had been pissed the first time Hikaru had done that. He'd dumped the coffee, walked out of the room, and hadn't said a word to Hikaru for the rest of the day. It took Hikaru all of five minutes to want to smack himself upside the head for being such an idiot.

The next day they'd found each other in the mess and said, "I'm sorry" at the same time.

Hikaru frowned. "Why are you sorry?"

Pavel looked down at his shoes. Given the bags under his eyes, he hadn't slept. "I owerreacted. You vere just trying to help and make sure I didn't fall asleep at the consol."

"Yeah, and I completely forgot that the last time someone messed with your drink, they were trying to drug and rape you," Hikaru retorted. "No, wait, the last time had been the Andorians who wanted to use us as ransom. You had every right to react that way."

"No, I didn't!" Pavel blurted. "I trust you, I do! I know you'd newer do something like that! I don't know vhy I freaked out about it."

"Probably because of the sleep deprivation," Hikaru said. "And the fact that decaf tastes horrible with sugar. That more than anything is why I'm sorry. I took a sip after you left and it is god-awful."

Pavel hesitated, then with a shy (adorable!) smile said, "Vell, maybe add some cream next time. That should help."

So now, whenever they were on hour 38 of no sleep and Hikaru handed him decaf (three sugars, two creams), Pavel would give him an annoyed glare, and Hikaru would give him the uncompromising eyebrow, and Pavel would sulk into the mug and drink the coffee, and still manage to stay up another five hours before passing out.

Now Pavel was twenty-one. They were almost three years into their five-year mission. And the interest was not going away. Not when Hikaru handed Pavel things--coffee, PADDs, snacks--and made sure their fingers brushed a few heartbeats longer than necessary. Not when they sparred and Hikaru managed to pin him down and think about doing that in a completely different context. Not when Pavel was halfway through an excited speech on quantum physics after two days without sleep and his curly hair a mess and a sparkle in his eyes and Hikaru couldn't keep a dopey smile off his face, because this, this was Pavel at his best, at his happiest, and it made that warm feeling in Hikaru's chest spread until it reached his toes.

Hikaru realized he was head-over-heels, clichéd soap opera, forever in love on no particularly special day. They were on the bridge, Alpha shift, same old same old. Hikaru heard Pavel humming softly as he did his calculations and thought, I love him.

So now, Hikaru had to do something about it.

Chapter Text

Pavel came back to his rooms after a poker night--a rare one in which he lost, but it was to Uhura, so he didn't mind--to find a flower taped next to his intercom.

His first thought was poisonous.

Then he shook himself. He had trust issues, yes, but who would try to kill him with a flower? There were a hundred much better, more effective, and untraceable means of doing that. Pavel knew because he himself had done some of them.

Besides, after taking a closer look, he recognized it. It was a white jasmine, just like the kind from Hikaru's collection.

Pavel frowned. "Computer, locate Lieutenant Sulu."

"Lieutenant Sulu is in Botany Lab 5."

Pavel plucked the flower from the intercom and went to the lab.

"Did you tape a flower to my intercom?" Pavel asked as soon as he came in.

Hikaru was carefully trimming a type of bush native to Romulus. It was wiggling with a lot of tentacles, so Hikaru didn't look up. "Yup."

"Ooookay. Vhy?"

"An experiment."

"Vhat kind of experiment?"

Hikaru gave him a look. "You know that if I told you it'd mess up the results."

Pavel gave him a shrewd look, but in the end shrugged it off. "All right. Vhatewer. Let me know how it goes and if you need help."

"Will do. Hey, don't take that!" Hikaru snatched the scissors the tentacle plant had managed to take from him. Pavel left, shaking his head.

He got a flower every week for two months after that. Right after poker night, on the dot, Pavel would find a flower taped to his intercom. A hyacinth. A yarrow. A violet. Plus several from different planets, some of which Pavel didn't even know the name of and had to ask either the computer or, more often than not, Hikaru, because talking to him was much better than talking to a robot. Pavel ended up pressing them, drying them and keeping them in a book so he could keep them forever. He didn't know why. He just...really liked the idea of Hikaru doing this.

--

"Vould you like to go to poker night vith me?"

Lieutenant Elizabeth Wylde paused as they lingered in the gym. There were a few other people around: Hikaru, Kirk, a couple of ensigns. Wylde and Pavel had just finished a sparring session.

She worked in linguistics, so they hadn't met or ever talked to each other before Giotto's combat refresher, which he'd suckered Pavel into helping him teach. That was something Pavel still didn't quite forgive him for, because he'd liked it when everyone thought that he couldn't fight, and now that they knew the truth the attention set his teeth on edge. On the other hand, it was amazing taking someone like Wylde, who'd barely passed combat training in the Academy and had no confidence in a fight, and getting her to be able to take down a six-foot-five Andorian in under nine seconds.

"You guys do poker?" she asked.

It was weird in a nice way not to have to crane his neck back to look her in the eye. She was one of the very few people who was actually shorter than Pavel. He nodded. "Me, Uhura, Giotto, sometimes McCoy, Gaila, too..."

"Um...sure. Why not?"

Pavel beamed. "Great! See you on Thursday!"

Wylde walked out of the gym. Pavel yawned, exhausted, and drank some water. He felt eyes on him and turned. Hikaru was giving him a blank look.

"Vhat?" Pavel asked.

Hikaru shook his head. "Nothing. Just...nothing."

That was the worst lie Pavel had ever heard. But he knew if he pushed now Hikaru would close up like a clam, so he left the gym.

That week's flower was a willow. Pavel looked it up himself: it symbolized sadness.

--

You know you can always talk to me if there's something wrong, right? Pavel wrote, sending it to Hikaru's account.

Yeah, I know. Thanks, was the only reply.

--

"Oh, Pavel," Nyota called as she came into the room. She, Pavel, Hikaru, Kirk and Spock were in the officers' lounge, Kirk and Spock playing chess while Pavel and Hikaru worked on their respective PADDs. "Thanks for setting up Gaila and Liz."

Pavel beamed at her. "Of course!"

"Chekov's the new matchmaker?" Kirk asked, not looking up from the chess board. "I thought that was your job, Uhura."

"It is, and I needed a little help. Although, I think I accidentally marred Pavel's soul in the process," Uhura admitted.

Kirk grinned. "Details. Now."

"You remember Gaila from the Academy?" At Kirk's nod, Uhura continued, "Well, she had a nasty break-up a couple of months ago. Luckily it wasn't anyone on the ship, but it was still bad."

"She vas moping for veeks," Pavel added. "You'd think the uniwerse collapsed on itself."

"Anyway, last week she told me that she wanted to get back in the game again," Uhura said. "And sometime before that, one of my coworkers mentioned looking for a girlfriend. You might know her: Lieutenant Wylde?"

Hikaru looked up from his PADD while Kirk thought. "Petite little thing with dark hair that Chekov turned into a badass?"

"That's her. We wanted to introduce her to Gaila, who works in Engineering. But I'm her boss and didn't want to come across as intimidating."

"But ve spar ewery veek," Pavel said. "So I inwited her to poker night, vhere she and Gaila said some things in Orion that made Uhura choke on her drink and she vill newer, ewer translate it for me, ewer, because it ewen made Gaila blush."

Uhura gave him a shark-like smile. "Anyway, two birds with one stone, and I have leverage over Pavel in the future. So I call it a win."

"Spock, your girlfriend is ewil."

"I am well aware," Spock answered, moving his rook. "Checkmate, Captain."

Pavel rolled his eyes and turned back to his PADD. He saw Hikaru grinning out of the corner of his eye.

That week's flower was a yellow chrysanthemum, which symbolized happiness and cheer.

--

Really, Pavel should've figured it out sooner. He was usually much better with puzzles than this.

One month after Gaila and Wylde hooked up, Pavel and Hikaru did their usual sparring session, doing empty-hand rather than weapons. Hikaru barely managed to get the upper hand and pin Pavel to the mat.

They paused, catching their breath. Hikaru was still on top of Pavel, his knee on Pavel's chest, his chest inches above Pavel's. Pavel didn't think about how vulnerable he was, or that there were half a dozen ways Hikaru could kill him right now. He'd stopped thinking those thoughts around Hikaru ages ago, and it felt wonderful to be perfectly calm, winded, and relaxed. And slightly turned on, because Hikaru was very attractive and very close and Pavel kind of wanted to sneak in a kiss and...

Oh.

Oh, shit.

"I gotta go," Pavel stammered.

Some of his panic must've bled through his voice, because Hikaru immediately let go, his forehead wrinkled in concern. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I just...I hawe a...I hawe to go." Pavel snatched his duffle bag and fled the gym.

--

In the safety of his rooms, Pavel looked up the symbolism of all the flowers Hikaru had given him. With the exception of the willow and the chrysanthemum, all of them represented or at least mentioned love. Red tulip, fennel, heliotrope, honeysuckle, hyacinth, even the alien plants of Vulcan, Romulan, Klingon, Orion, and Andorian origin. They all represented romance.

So Pavel did the only thing to do in this situation: he freaked out.

Chapter Text

"Wait, wait, wait," Gaila said, holding up her hand. "Explain to me again why this is a bad thing?"

They were in Pavel's room, Gaila sitting on the edge of the bed while Pavel paced back and forth. He was twirling a dagger in his fingers. Not the kunai throwing knives, because those had been a gift from Hikaru.

"He basically told me he lowes me!" Pavel snapped, his Russian accent and lisp as thick as tar. "Or at least vants to...do something."

"Aaaaand...?"

"And I'm a mess!" he blurted. "I hawe horrible trust issues, I hawe newer been normal or been in a normal relationship, and the one time I tried...vell, you vere there for that! I'we killed so many people I'we lost count, I don't know vhat I'm doing, I--"

"Pavel!" Gaila snapped, standing. She grabbed his hand just beneath the dagger to keep it still. "Do you really think Sulu doesn't know all of this?"

Pavel paused. "Um, vell..."

"You told me what happened on Sagacita. The guy's been in your mind! He knows every detail about your past, and he's still asking you out."

"Vell, he's an idiot! I hawe vay too much baggage."

"Maybe let him decide that?" Gaila suggested. "He's a grown man with a lot more dating experience than you, and he's made his choice. Now you have to make yours."

Pavel didn't say anything. He looked at the floor.

"Pavel." Gaila let go of his wrist. "Do you want to date Hikaru?"

He tugged at his curly hair and went to his desk, sitting on the chair. "It hadn't ewen occurred to me before today..."

"But it did occur to you."

Pavel bit his lip.

"Look, you like him, he likes you. I fail to see the problem here."

"Vhat if I mess it up, or make a mistake? Or..."

"There's always a risk," Gaila admitted. "And everyone makes mistakes. What makes a relationship last is when both people have the guts to stick with it."

"And vhen he realizes that it's not vorth it to stick vith it?"

"Then we'll have concrete evidence that human beings can actually function without their brains."

Pavel looked up at Gaila. She was smiling at him, bright and confident. Pavel groaned. "I hate you."

"Love you, too, dear."

--

Pavel didn't like the fact that he was going to Hikaru's room fully armed. But he felt so damn vulnerable and weak that having the knives' sheaths scratch his skin was the only way he could put one foot in front of the other and knock on the door.

Hikaru opened it and blinked at him. "Hey."

Pavel was staring at his shoes, and the book in his hands. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." Hikaru stepped into the room so Pavel wouldn't have to walk past him to get in. He stayed clear of the door so Pavel had a quick escape, and avoided the kitchen where he could get easily armed. He sat on the sofa with his hands stretched along the back, putting himself lower than Pavel and as unthreatening as possible. Pavel wondered if he did all of that on purpose or if it was just instinct.

"What's wrong?" Hikaru asked. He was in his black undershirt, and Pavel was not thinking about how stunning he looked in black. No, sir.

Pavel swallowed and handed him on the book. Frowning, Hikaru opened it.

"Vhy didn't you just go vith a red rose?" Pavel asked, while Hikaru flipped through all the dried flowers Pavel had pressed and kept in the book.

Hikaru gave a weak smile. "I don't have a rose bush."

Pavel blinked at him. Hikaru laughed. "I'm dead serious! And anyway, it just seemed so unoriginal. I just...yeah." He closed the book and set it on the coffee table. Neither man looked at each other.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru said the same time Pavel blurted, "I'm just going on record saying this is a wery, wery bad idea."

Hikaru frowned. "What is?"

Pavel bit back a groan. He marched up to Hikaru, grabbed him by the shirt, and kissed him.

Hikaru froze. Just as Pavel was about to step back (had he miscalculated?), Hikaru pulled Pavel onto his lap and returned the kiss.

Kissing Hikaru was like entering a vortex. Nothing else mattered or even existed except Hikaru's lips, and the little noises he made, and his hands--one on Pavel's back that pulled him closer and the other tangled up in Pavel's hair.

Hikaru pulled back. He was breathing hard, his lips were red, and his eyes were dark. "Why is this a bad idea, exactly?" he panted.

Pavel bit his lip. "I'we newer done this before."

"First time for everything."

"I'll screw up."

"So will I," Hikaru said. "We'll fight and argue, and then apologize and make up. Like Kirk and McCoy, except with kissing."

Pavel pushed away all the unpleasant mental images that brought up and said, "And ve'd hawe to mowe slow. Really slow. I don't know if I can...I hawen't tried since Gaila..."

Hikaru's expression softened. "I know. I'm not doing this for sex, Pavel. I just..." He rubbed Pavel's sides, up and down. The Russian relaxed into the touch. "I just really want to be with you. Romantically. Sex is only about ten percent of that, if you're doing it right."

Pavel was still gripping Hikaru's shirt. He relaxed his hand and smoothed out the wrinkles before hiding his face in Hikaru's chest. Hikaru wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead. "Something else?"

Pavel's brain had sputtered at the forehead-kiss. He'd seen it happen between other couples a few times, and in movies, and it'd always looked so sweet. Affectionate, but not lusty. It took a minute for him to wrap his head around the idea that this kind of thing was actually happening to him. Could happen. Maybe. If he didn't screw it up.

"People vho grow up in abusiwe households are much more likely to end up in abusiwe relationships," Pavel said, his voice muffled by Hikaru's black shirt. Hikaru stiffened around him, and Pavel kept going: "And if you are raised by an abusiwe parents, chances are good that you end up being an abuser yourself."

Hikaru paused. He pulled back and tipped Pavel's chin up so they could see each other. Hikaru had a funny look on his face. "You think you might end up abusing me?"

"It's a walid concern!" Pavel defended.

"It's really not. Because I know how you deal with anger and people you're angry with, and it's not with violence."

At Pavel's look, Hikaru amended, "Unless it's in a battle, but that's obviously different."

"Still..."

"Pavel, if you end up pulling any of that shit, I'll park you in front of Kirk and Spock and let them deal with you."

Pavel considered the implications of that and the likelihood that Hikaru was telling the truth. "Promise?"

Hikaru kissed his nose. "Promise."

Relief settled into Pavel's bones. He settled back down against Hikaru's chest while the pilot rubbed his back. "'Course, that's not going to happen, because you're not that kind of person. I wouldn't ask to be your boyfriend otherwise, no matter how cute you are."

Pavel snorted against Hikaru's shirt. He felt he had to say something, so he blurted, "You vere the first dangerous person I felt safe around."

Hikaru paused. "Are you seriously implying that Uhura isn't dangerous?"

"No!" Pavel gasped. "Newer! But I could take her in a fight. You, not so much. Vhich is vhy I vas surprised vhen ve vere sparring one day and you von, and I...vasn't scared. Not ewen a little."

One of Hikaru's hands had found its way into Pavel's hair again and was massaging his scalp. Pavel sighed happily.

"...is that why you brought a bunch of knives with you when you propositioned me?" Hikaru teased.

Heat rushed up Pavel's chest as he glared up at Hikaru, who was grinning. "I vas nerwous!"

"I know, I know. That's one of the reasons I encourage it: you look really sexy when you use them."

"'Karu..." Pavel groaned.

"It's the truth."

Pavel did not need to hear any more teasing, so he sat up and went back to kissing Hikaru.

Chapter 4

Notes:

Hmmm...this took a slightly different turn from what I had in mind.
Ugh. Words. They never listen to anything I say.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hikaru was weak with relief when nothing changed.

Well, okay, that wasn't entirely accurate. Gossip spread like wildfire and within 24 hours everyone knew that he and Pavel were in a relationship, and he was pretty sure he saw Kirk give McCoy some credits. So there were a lot of congratulations and more than a few shovel talks. Scotty had given him some of his illegal alcohol and told him "Ya hurt the lad, ya leave the ship." Gaila's had been the most terrifying. She'd given him a shark-like smile and said, "You so much as bruise his little Russian heart, I'll make sure you never get laid ever again."

She'd done it to a few guys at the Academy, brutally butchering their reputations, so Hikaru knew she wasn't lying.

The upside to all of this was the kissing. Pavel had said he wanted to take it slow and Hikaru respected that. He knew the reasons behind that, and would've felt a lot better if he could've gotten his hands on that bastard Chaz, but Pavel had already taken care of him, so he settled for the dummies in the gym. It didn't go beyond heavy make-out sessions for a while, and Hikaru loved the fact that Pavel was a genius, because he went from woefully inexperienced to grandmaster in two weeks. (Pavel later admitted that Gaila was mostly responsible for that, sharing much of her endless wisdom on the subject. Hikaru sent her a bouquet of flowers.) The downside was that Pavel got almost too good. He'd pull back with his lips red, hair tussled, and eyes dark, looking simply edible, and then nervously look away and find a reason to go. "I hawe a shift at Engineering today." "Spock vanted to go ower some readings vith me." "If I don't leawe for poker now, Uhura vill take all of McCoy's money." Hikaru would let him go without complaint, despite the raging hard-on, and as soon as he was alone went to his get lube.

But other than the shovel talks, and the kisses that ranged from quick good-bye pecks to a fantastic half-hour alone in one of their rooms, and the fact that Hikaru replicated a lot more lubricant than usual, nothing changed. They were still Lieutenant Sulu and Ensign Chekov, pilot and navigator of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Pavel still ignored normal sleep schedules and went on scientific tangents only two or three people understood. Hikaru still fenced and tended to his botanical collection. The two of them still sparred and joked and worked together.

It went at that soothing, glacial pace for about three months. Then there was an AMGW (away mission gone wrong).

It actually wasn't that bad, comparatively speaking. No angry aliens trying to skewer them with primitive spears, no Klingon pirates trying to blow up the ship, no Romulans trying to destroy another planet. Sulu and Chekov went down with some geologists and botanists on an uninhabited planet, no animal life forms bigger than a dog, to collect samples. Sulu was with the botanists, and Chekov was there as part of the few engineers doing equipment maintenance.

Then the ground shifted, grumbling beneath their feet, and Sulu had just enough time to think earthquake before the ground gave way beneath his feet and he was falling and Pavel was screaming his name, and something hit his head and everything went dark.

Hikaru woke up in medical with a bandage wrapped around his head. The fall had been short: fifteen feet. He'd hit his head on a rock and had a moderate concussion. McCoy was griping and stabbing him with hypos while Pavel fluttered around them. Only one other person had gotten hurt, a geologist who had sprained her ankle. So all in all, it barely qualified as an AMGW.

That night, as Hikaru was getting ready for bed, there was a knock on his door. Suppressing a tired groan, he went to open it, and was pleasantly surprised to find his boyfriend. "Pavel?"

Pavel was holding a duffel bag and looking at the floor. He swallowed. "Can I...um...spend the night?"

Hikaru blinked at him. "Yeah, sure."

In Hikaru's previous relationships, "spend the night" usually translated to "share at least two orgasms each." But given Pavel's tone and body language (and Hikaru's concussion), Hikaru did not think this was the case.

Hikaru finished brushing his teeth and washing his face while Pavel changed into his sleepwear. He went straight to his bed, dropping down on the mattress with a contented sigh and dozed while Pavel took his turn in the bathroom. If his head hadn't been swimming with the concussion and drugs McCoy had pumped him with, he would've basked in the casual domesticity of it all, the way they naturally fell into this pattern. As it was, he was just happy to be mostly horizontal.

He stirred when he felt fingers on his face, brushing against the bandage on his head. Hikaru cracked his eyes open to see Pavel standing over him, hesitantly touching him as if he would shatter at any moment.

"Vhen you fell," Pavel whispered. "I thought...there vas so much blood and you..."

Ah.

Hikaru took Pavel's hand and kissed his palm, giving him a smile. "I'm not going anywhere."

Pavel swallowed and crawled into bed. He curled up on Hikaru's chest, head right over his sternum so he could hear the heartbeat. Hikaru wrapped his arms around this most precious human being and buried his nose in his hair. He absolutely loved Pavel's hair, the way the curls wrapped around his fingers as if they never wanted him to let go. They fell asleep wrapped around each other and Hikaru knew he never wanted to be anywhere else.

--

Pavel's things trickled into Hikaru's room after that, turning the smaller ensign's quarters into more of a storage or private study than anything else.

Hikaru came to his room one day about a month after getting knocked in the head to find the furniture had been shifted just a bit. It filled him with both pride and dread. The dread always came whenever a necessary habit from Pavel's dark past presented itself. In this case: mapping out the room and clearing the way of obstacles for a speedy exit. Pride, because it meant Pavel was thinking about their relationship in the long-term, even if only subconsciously. One didn't move someone else's furniture unless they planned to stay awhile.

When Hikaru's birthday came around, Pavel got him a Gor'ac tree that was the same age. Its name was Kari. Hikaru laughed, remembering Pavel's eighteenth on the ship, and kissed him on the nose.

When Pavel put his own Gor'ac tree Pascha on the same shelf in Hikaru's room as Kari, Hikaru smiled all day.

--

Pavel never stayed when he had a nightmare. Hikaru would wake up to Pavel's quiet whimpers of distress, or when he'd already be awake and slipping out of bed. He'd grab a PADD or whatever needed work, put on some clothes and slip out to an observation deck. The bed never felt warm after that.

--

The first time they had sex was at the third-year anniversary of the ship's five-year mission. They ended up in Hikaru's room, hands in each other's hair and mouths clashing. Hikaru had had a glass of champagne too many as he steered them to the bed and ended up on top of Pavel. He didn't resist when Pavel flipped them, pressing Hikaru into the mattress. He never, ever wanted Pavel to feel trapped or penned in, especially not when they were intimate. So whenever they were, Hikaru always made sure they were on equal footing or Pavel was dominant, sitting on Hikaru's lap on the couch or pinning him to the wall.

They came up for air, panting and breathing into each other. Pavel shifted, and Hikaru could feel his erection against his stomach and knew Pavel could feel his against his thigh.

Hikaru loosened his grip on Pavel, keeping his hands on his hips but easy to shake off. "Do you have somewhere you need to be?" he asked.

Pavel considered it for a long moment, looking into space above Hikaru's head. He looked back down at Hikaru, shook his head with a "nyet," and kissed him again.

--

Pavel had a nightmare that night, one of his recurring visitors (three guesses at to which). But instead of leaving he stayed in bed, letting Hikaru hold him tight as they both went back to sleep.

--

The first AMGW that involves Pavel being attacked and hurt ends with eleven hostile aliens dead by Hikaru's hand. Or rather, his sword.

Never mind that Pavel looked after himself, bringing down his attackers with his own extensive combat skills, needing no rescue, and ending the day with nothing more serious than a broken arm. Hikaru was there when that bone broke, he heard Pavel's cry of pain. His vision didn't stop burning red until after they were back on the Enterprise.

Kirk scolded him for being hard on the aliens; they could've easily gotten away with Hikaru only killing six of them. He then told him to stop moping around the bridge and go down to medical, "Before your boyfriend and Bones kill each other."

--

The first "I love you" came with a rose bush.

Hikaru laughed when he came down to the botany lab to find Pavel there holding the small, potted plant. "Now you hawe no excuse the next time you vant to giwe me flowers," Pavel said, giving the blooming plant to Hikaru.

Hikaru set the plant on the table, ran his fingers through Pavel's curls and kissed him. "I love you," he said against his lips.

Pavel smiled, shy and bright. "I lowe you, too."

Notes:

There might (MIGHT) be one more story in this series. A previous commenter mentioned wanting to see Pavel needing rescuing and therefore having to explicitly trust member(s) of the Enterprise. We'll see. Might be a 5+1. Stay tuned!

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