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hurt but healed still moving on

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#1. Air

The air is rife with tension as Sarah grudgingly admits to her stunned family that she's pregnant, and in addition, refuses to reveal the father's identity.

#2. Apples

Vic smells like apple schnapps and cheap cigarettes, but Sarah doesn't care as they exchange hungry kisses in the backseat of his car.

#3. Beginning

This is how the story begins—when Sarah sees her doppelganger jump in front of a train.

#4. Bugs

Don't get Felix wrong, he loves his sister and always will, but he's bugged by the fact that she often fights his battles for him.

#5. Coffee

Over scones and coffee, Siobhan listens as Kassov confides in her what little he knew about the Dyad Institute; he also managed to track down a little girl who may or may not be involved with Dyad's Project Leda, but either way, needed her protection.

#6. Dark

In the dead of night, Sarah sneaks out of Cal's cabin with $10 million and a guilty conscience.

#7. Despair

"I'm in the depths of despair," Felix says piteously to his foster sister; in response, Sarah pours him another shot of bourbon.

#8. Doors

To the collective dismay of Sarah, Felix, and S, Kira's developed the habit of slamming doors every time she leaves a room.

#9. Drink

"Here, drink this," Felix says, placing a piping hot mug of chamomile tea in front of his worried mum.

#10. Duty

Sarah may not always be the greatest big sister to Felix, but she will always beat the living shite out of anyone who dares to mess with her younger brother.

#11. Earth

"Felix and me, we're a package deal," Sarah firmly declares to Carlton, "so there's no way on earth you're separating us."

#12. End

In a way, Sarah's grateful that S ended up taking her and Fee in, otherwise they'd still be lost in the foster system.

#13. Fall

Love was never part of the equation as Sarah successfully pulled off various cons, yet all her careful planning takes a crash dive once she actually starts falling for Cal Morrison.

#14. Fire

S and Sarah remind Felix of two different kinds of fire—with S, he thinks of home-cooked meals, a pleasing warmth, and an all-around feeling of safety; Sarah, on the other hand, was more like a raging wildfire, liable to incinerate anything that crosses her path.

#15. Flexible

"Let me show you just how flexible I can be," whispers Felix seductively, pressing a filthy kiss behind Colin's earlobe.

#16. Flying

When Siobhan receives her first kiss, she swears her heart's flying out of her chest, though she'd never tell John that.

#17. Food

Ordinarily, Sarah enjoys the smell of baked peaches, especially if S used them into a crumble, but lately it's been making her sick to her stomach.

#18. Feet

Kira burbles happily as Felix tickles his niece's tiny feet.

#19. Grave

Siobhan traces the letters on her husband's grave one last time before she leaves.

#20. Green

As far as Kira's concerned, spinach was the devil's food, and no matter how much Mummy begged her, she would not eat it.

#21. Head

"No need to lose your head, Colin's just another guy," Felix tells himself, though he's starting not to believe it anymore.

#22. Hollow

Underneath the no-nonsense exterior Siobhan had cultivated lay a hollow piece of her heart where John used to reside.

#23. Honour

"After the number you did on Fee's face, I'm honour-bound to kick your arse," Sarah viciously spits out, successfully wiping the shit-eating grin off Vic's face.

#24. Hope

Any hopes Siobhan had of reconciling with her mother are shattered once her husband is murdered.

#25. Light

Sarah's always been light on her feet, which is something she appreciates, since she's sneaking home at 3 AM after partying all night with Rockabilly Bob and Sherry.

#26. Lost

Siobhan has her kids sticking close to her for the first few days after their relocation, lest they become lost on the streets of Toronto.

#27. Metal

Besides her memories, the only thing Siobhan has left of her husband is her silver wedding ring.

#28. New

Five months after Siobhan originally meets John, she changes her last name from Malone to Sadler.

#29. Old

At the rate Sarah's going, continuously knocking back beer after beer, Felix would be amazed if his sister ever makes it to old age.

#30. Peace

With the constant arguments the kids have almost every night, Siobhan's worried that her family will never know peace.

#31. Poison

Oftentimes, Felix questions what Sarah sees in Vic the Dick, and in his honest opinion, she deserves someone much better than that poisonous cesspool of a man.

#32. Pretty

Admittedly, Sarah may be biased, but she thought Kira was the prettiest baby she'd ever seen.

#33. Rain

"No," Felix says to Teddy, "we're not kissing in the goddamn rain."

#34. Regret

Sarah's regretted plenty of decisions over the course of her life, but having Kira was never one of them.

#35. Roses

Vic's not known for his generosity, let alone capable of performing any kind of thoughtful gesture as far as Sarah is concerned, so her jaw drops to the floor when he shows up with a bouquet of red roses for her birthday.

#36. Secret

Once in a while, Sarah secretly thinks about contacting Cal and informing him that he has a daughter.

#37. Snakes

Snakes are fascinating creatures, but Felix draws the line at having one as a pet.

#38. Snow

From time to time, Kira dreams of playing in the snow with both Mummy and Daddy.

#39. Solid

The first and only time Felix physically defends Sarah from Vic the Dick backfires spectacularly, resulting in a fractured jaw and the inability to eat solid food for weeks.

#40. Spring

In the spring of 1975, 17-year-olds Siobhan Malone and John Sadler cross paths for the first time.

#41. Stable

Before Cal, Sarah couldn't remember the last time she was in a stable relationship with a guy.

#42. Strange

Once, when Sarah was ten, she glimpsed the reflection of another girl that could've passed for her twin sister on Vauxhall Road; later on, she'll chalk it up as the heat making her see strange things.

#43. Summer

"Somehow, this was not how I imagined I'd be spending my summer," Felix confesses to a blissed-out Teddy, who's lying in bed next to him.

#44. Taboo

With her dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, Kira doesn't resemble her dark-haired, dark-eyed mother at all, but nothing shuts Mummy down faster than bringing up the taboo subject of her mysterious father.

#45. Ugly

This is how a relationship unravels—when Vic yells out the word ugly like a malediction, completely blindsliding Sarah.

#46. War

"I'm not the one who started this war, Ma," Siobhan comments bitterly as she hoists her duffle bag and marches out the door.

#47. Water

Once again, Felix allows his sister to crash at his place; after getting her settled in for the night, he leaves some aspirin and a bottle of water on the nightstand.

#48. Welcome

Normally, February 14th was associated with Valentine's day, but Sarah will always remember it as the day she brought Kira Jane Manning into the world.

#49. Winter

It was winter the first time Felix fell in love with Colin.

#50. Wood

Back in Brixton, two young kids named Sarah and Felix carved their initials into a wooden table and extract a promise that they would always find their way back to one another.