Steve laughed as he spun in the new dress.
“I can’t believe you got this for a fifty cents!” He almost squealed with delight, turning to see Bucky grinning.
“Well, the seam in the back is coming apart.” Bucky said. “And it needs rehemming. But Lillian down the hall said she’d fix it up fine, even alter it a bit to make it fit you better.”
“This is the best birthday ever.” Steve said, rushing forward to hug him tight. “Thank you.” He kissed him on the cheek and hummed happily as Bucky squeezed him back.
“I’m gonna start getting you stuff for this Stevie.” Bucky whispered. “I know you always talk about it like it’ll never happen, but I’m gonna take you to one of those clubs where people like you go, where people like us can be together. And you’re gonna be the prettiest girl in the room Stevie.”
Steve pulled back to look at him, mouth open before he grinned again.
“You really mean it?” He whispered.
“Of course I do sweetheart.” Bucky kissed his cheek. “I love you, and I wanna show you off to the world. And if you wanna be in a dress and makeup when we do that, then I’m gonna get my Stevie a dress and some makeup.”
“I’ll need shoes.” Steve said with a smirk. “And stockings. And a wig.” Bucky chuckled.
“One thing at a time.” He teased. “But believe me when I say it, you’re gonna be the most gorgeous dame no matter what you got on.”
Steve shuffled the auburn wig onto his head, looking in the mirror.
“Sorry I couldn’t find a blonde one.” Bucky said, helping him get it into place and pin it secure.
“It’s fine, I think it looks natural enough.” Steve said with a smile.
“Lemme just… there.” Bucky said with a smile. “Aw, look at you, you’re gorgeous.” He squeezed Steve’s shoulder gently. “You look like a nice Irish girl, the type ma wants me to settle down with.”
“Well you are settled down with me.” Steve said with a smirk. “Maybe not what she was imagining really.”
“I don’t care.” Bucky said, grinning as he helped comb through Steve’s wig with his fingers. “I love you and I settled down with you, not any other sweet Irish girl.”
“You’re sweet,” Steve said.
“Sweet on you, Stevie.” Bucky teased. Steve hummed softly, shaking his head.
“Stevie ain’t a girl’s name.” He said, turning to look at Bucky. “I should have a girls name.”
“How about Stephanie?” Bucky asked, coming to sit next to him.
“No, I don’t want to still be Steve. I want something new.” He chewed his lip, looking into the mirror. “Ma said if I’d been a girl I would’a been Dolores.” He smiled a little and nodded. “Dolores is nice. She said it was from the Mother Mary.”
“Dolores.” Bucky said with a nod. “You know, it’s a bit of a mouthful. Mind if I shorten it?”
“To what?” Steve asked, turning and having to brush his hair out of his face. It would take some time to get used to the length. Bucky leaned forward to twist a strand of hair between his fingers.
Steve painted on his lips and eyelashes. He dusted pink on his cheeks and dragged a comb through his wig. He looked in the mirror, and saw her looking back, excitement in her eyes. Dot had never left the apartment before, but today they were keeping Bucky’s promise and going to one of those clubs that people whispered about.
Dot did up her shoes, only a one inch heel as she was still learning to walk in them, and checked herself in the mirror again.
“You ready yet?” Bucky called through from where he was at the door.
“Yeah, I’m coming.” Dot called back, clearing her throat to try and get rid of some of the husk. She left the bedroom and smiled at Bucky. “How’d I look?” Bucky grinned wide.
“You look gorgeous doll.” He said softly, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Need to get anything more?”
“Nah, you got my money.” Dot teased. “So don’t go losing me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Bucky said, holding out her coat. They’d have to be careful on the short walk to the club, cover Dot as much as they could. “I’m gonna dance with you all night, not letting you out of my arms for one moment.”
“That better be a promise.” Dot said, making sure she was completely covered before taking Bucky’s arm and heading to the door. “I don’t wanna dance with anyone else.”
“Nope, you’re mine.” Bucky said. “Just you and me, all night.”
Dot’s feet ached when they finally got back in the door, but she didn’t care. They’d been out and danced and drank a little and nothing had gone wrong. No one had raided the club, no one had seen them on the walk back, they’d just stayed and danced and kissed and no one cared what Dot looked like under her dress.
“You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing, Dottie.” Bucky teased, scooping her up into his arms.
“Don’t need carrying,” Dot mumbled, but didn’t try to resist.
“Lets get you to bed doll,” Bucky said, sitting her on the edge of the bed and helping her slowly take the wig and makeup off, revealing Steve underneath. “Hey you,” Bucky smirked, kissing his cheek.
“Hey,” Steve said with a smile.
“Want help getting out of the dress?” Bucky asked.
“Well I’m never gonna turn down you undressing me.” Steve teased, reaching to take one of his shoes off. Bucky moved to help with the other, teasingly walking his fingers up his thigh to roll the stocking off. “You’re getting a little handsy there.” Steve said.
“Is that a problem?” Bucky said with a smirk. “I just like touching my best girl.”
“Best girl comes off with the outfit.” Steve said. “Just Steve now.”
“You will never be ‘just’ Steve.” Bucky said. “You’re fantastic, beautiful, amazing Steve. And I want to make my Steve feel good just as much.” Bucky rolled his skirt up a little and placed a kiss on his thigh. “Lets get you out of the rest of this.”
Bucky helped Steve out of all his clothing, heading to the bathroom to wash up. He came back to find Steve already asleep. He smiled a little to himself, getting into bed quietly and wrapping himself around him, making sure not to wake him.
“Thanks for dinner, Dot.” Bucky said with a smile, rubbing Dot’s hip as she walked past with their empty plates.
“Gotta keep you big and strong.” Dot teased. “All that work at the docks gives you a big appetite.” She put on a pinafore and put the dishes in the sink. Dot used to only come out for special occasions, but now Bucky would come home to find her around the apartment with no intention of going out. He didn’t mind, Dot and Steve were the same person, just depended what they wanted to wear that day on what name he called them.
“As long as I’m never taking food off your plate.” Bucky said, standing up to wrap his arms around her waist. “You look extra pretty today.”
“What do you want?” Dot teased.
“Can’t I compliment my girl without having an ulterior motive?” Bucky said with a smirk. He leaned down to nuzzle in her hair, no wig today as the kitchen got hot with the oven on. He slowly kissed down the back of her neck, pulling Dot back a little closer into him.
“Not saying you can’t,” Dot said, determined to finish the dishes before Bucky got too handsy. “Just saying you don’t.” She didn’t stop the hand that wandered down onto her hip, pulling her ass back against the noticeable bulge in his pants. “And it’s pretty obvious you want something.” She placed the washing on the side to dry as she got through it, speeding up a little now.
“Well, I guess you’re right.” Bucky said with a chuckle, kissing down to her shoulder, pulling aside her collar a little to nibble at the delicate skin.
“I just got one more plate.” Dot mumbled, ignoring the affections while she scrubbed in the dirty water. She got the plate on the side and managed to dry her hands before Bucky had her flipped round and pinned against the sink. He leaned down to kiss her firmly, not wasting any time when they both knew where this was going.
Bucky’s hand slipped round to Dot’s ass, giving a quick squeeze before reaching a bit lower and lifting her up.
“I can walk,” Dot mumbled against his mouth, not stopping kissing him as he walked them through to the bedroom.
“Didn’t wanna let you go for that long.” Bucky said as an excuse, crawling onto the bed and laying Dot on her back. He slipped a hand up her thigh, pushing up her dress. He’d make up for it next time, go slow and tease her and keep going until she couldn’t think, but right now he wanted her and he wanted her fast.
He found the edge of her underwear, just the same briefs that Steve wore but somehow Bucky felt more delicate when it was Dot. Bucky pulled her briefs off without much ceremony, and quickly replaced his hands with his mouth, kissing over her thighs and moving to gently take her penis between his lips. He smiled at the sharp intake of breath above him, suckling at the tip for a moment before pulling away to find the Vaseline.
“I want you so bad, doll.” Bucky whispered. “Don’t wanna wait.”
“Then don’t.” Dot whispered, lifting her legs a little and spreading them ever so slightly. “Just my thighs.”
“You sure?” Bucky whispered. “I want you to feel good too.”
“I will, I like it.” Dot said. “Stop wasting time, slick me up.”
“You’re real bossy.” Bucky teased, but got the Vaseline and got out a good amount to coat Dot’s thighs.
“Real low down, then it’ll feel better.” Dot said, guiding Bucky until she was covered enough. She pressed her thighs together and bent them up to her stomach.
“You’re gorgeous.” Bucky whispered. “Always, so beautiful.” He leaned in to kiss her before beginning to push between her thighs. He groaned softly, feeling himself press against the base of Dot’s own cock, just about sliding against her.
“Oh, there,” Dot whispered, wrapping a hand around what she could.
Bucky gave a few thrusts, trying to find the best angle. He kissed over Dot’s neck, holding her thighs so her legs didn’t get tired, squeezing them together a little more with a grunt.
“Go faster.” Dot whispered after a few moments. “I can take it.” And how could Bucky say no to that? He sped up, reaching under Dot’s legs to start jerking her off as well.
“I’m gonna be over real soon doll,” Bucky whispered after an embarrassingly short time. He’d been turned on since they sat down for dinner. He stilled between her legs, focussing instead on getting her off. “You’re so pretty, baby. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Dot breathed. “Fuck, I’m gonna come, Buck I’m-“ She gripped his shoulders as she came over his hand, eyes screwed closed and mouth a little open. Bucky slowed down and stopped moving his hand, moving Dot’s lax legs back together and pushing in between them again. Dot let out a very soft moan but Bucky made sure not to rub against her cock this time, just chasing his own orgasm until he shouted out and made a mess of Dot’s skirt. He collapsed down beside her and pulled her into his arms.
“I’m all sticky.” Dot mumbled in a half-protest, but cuddled into him anyway.
“I’ll clean you off in a sec.” Bucky whispered. “And next time I’m gonna keep going for hours. Not just pin you down and come all over you.” He felt Dot smirk against his shoulder.
“I’ll hold you to that.” She whispered.
Steve panted as he lay back on their bed.
“You back with me Stevie?” Bucky asked, stroking his hip.
“You weren’t kidding.” He managed to croak out, his voice all but gone.
“Think I’d make a promise like that and not keep it?” Bucky teased, glad that Steve was able to speak again. “I said hours, I meant hours.”
“I’ve never come that hard in my life.” Steve whispered, skin tingling and oversensitive as Bucky kissed over his stomach. He still felt a little floaty, but it was nice so he didn’t complain.
“Only the best for my Stevie.” Bucky said with another kiss. “Still want to go out tonight? Or are you worn out?”
“No, I still want to go.” Steve said. “Just gimme a bit to remember how to use my legs.”
“Want me to get your dress out?” Bucky asked, trailing his fingers over Steve’s hip bone and looking u to see him shake his head.
“Feel like a boy tonight.” He said. “Get my pants out instead.” Bucky chuckled and saluted.
“Yes Mr Rogers.” He teased, pulling away.
“You’re so bad at this.” Steve said, folding his arms and looking at Bucky.
“I promised my girl I’d win her a bear.” Bucky said, passing over the money to the stall owner once again and picking up the balls. The fair wasn’t too full thankfully, so there wasn’t a line of people Bucky was holding up. He aimed at a coconut, throwing the ball and missing.
“Well your girl would tell you to give up now cause you’re really bad at this.” Steve said with a huff. “C’mon, I’m starving and you’re gonna spend our food money.”
“One more go, I swear. I’ll get this bear for her if it’s the last thing I do.” Bucky said.
“If you spend all our money then it will be the last thing you do.” Steve said. “I’m gonna go get food. You better not still be throwing balls by the time I come back.”
“M’sorry.” Bucky said, trying his best to get rid of the scowl on Steve’s face. “I’ll make it up to you.” The truck hit a bump in the road, but Steve didn’t budge, held in place by determination alone.
“Three dollars.” Steve said. “You spent three dollars. And you didn’t even get the damn bear.”
“I thought you had enough for us to get the train back.” Bucky mumbled as an excuse.
“I did.” Steve said. “But I was paying for food. Not for the train. You were paying for the train.” He shuddered, the cold getting to him. “And now we’re in the back of a freezer truck, taking a goddamn age to get back home.”
“I’m gonna make this better Stevie.” Bucky said softly. “I was just… We don’t get to do normal things, you know? I wanna be able to take my girl to the fair and win her a bear like they do in those books.” He slouched a little. “But when you’re Steve we can’t act like a couple, and when you’re Dot we can’t go somewhere like that in case someone recognises you. It just… I’m sorry.”
Steve looked over and sighed a little, moving to lean into his side.
“It’s okay.” He said softly. “I appreciate it, I do. But you don’t need to beat yourself up about us not being normal. You’re a perfect boyfriend, even if we can’t do things like in romance books.” Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder, squeezing him a little.
“Are you mad at me?” Bucky asked.
“No Buck.” Steve whispered. “I’m not. I’m just cold.”
“I’ll keep you warm then.” Bucky said. “And next time we go to Coney Island I’m just gonna be having fun with you, not worrying about what we don’t have.”
“We have each other.” Steve said. “That’s enough for me.”
“Yeah,” Bucky said. “Me too.”
Dot was curled up on the couch. She’d had a pencil in her hand for almost an hour but there was barely anything on the page. The radio had stopped the announcement ages ago but she hadn’t moved to turn it off. They were at war, the world had changed, and she didn’t know what she should do.
That was a lie. She knew. She just didn’t know if she could.
She swallowed hard, putting the pencil aside and standing up. She had to do this.
“Stevie?” Bucky called as he got home. “You in?” He walked through, seeing Steve in their bedroom. He had a box in front of him, and seemed to be folding clothes into it. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m packing it away.” Steve said quietly.
“What do you mean?” Bucky asked with a frown, coming closer.
“All of it.” Steve said, finding his next dress and folding it up into the box. “I’m putting it all in the box and hiding it.”
“Stevie what happened?” Bucky asked. “Did someone say something?”
“No.” Steve said. “Just… I’m gonna sign up. And I can’t take stuff like this to the army so I gotta put it away.”
“You’re signing up?” Bucky asked loudly. “Steve! Jesus Christ, you can’t go to war.”
“Why not?” Steve asked.
“You got asthma.” Bucky said. “You’re half deaf.”
“They need men.” Steve said. Bucky sat down on the bed and took Steve’s hands, stopping him folding.
“Stevie, listen to me.” Bucky said softly. “You don’t need to do this. They’re gonna have plenty of men. And what happens next time you feel like a girl? You need this stuff baby.”
“It’s a costume.” Steve said, although even he didn’t believe it. “I don’t need it.”
“I know you.” Bucky said. “Dot isn’t some drag character. She’s you and you’re her.”
“You don’t know anything about it.” Steve said, trying to pull his hands back.
“Of course I do Stevie.” Bucky said. “I’ve known you my whole life and I love you. And sometimes you’re a guy and sometimes you’re a dame, but it’s always you. Not a character, not a costume, you.”
Steve’s bottom lip trembled a little, and he stopped trying to pull away from Bucky. He was guided forward into Bucky’s lap, curling up against his chest.
“I have to try.” Steve whispered.
“No you don’t,” Bucky said.
“Not for them,” Steve added, “For me. I need to go out there and help Buck. And I can’t do that as a girl. I need to be a guy for a long time to get into the army and stay there and do my part.”
“You don’t need to sign up for the army.” Bucky said firmly.
“I’m going to.” Steve said. “You can’t talk me out of it so don’t try.”
Bucky knew when he wasn’t going to win this fight. Steve was stubborn as hell, and if he’d decided to join them army then he was damn well going to find a way to get in, asthma or no asthma.
“Okay.” Bucky whispered. “If it’s something you gotta do. I’ll be here for you, anything you need.”
“Thanks Buck.” Steve whispered back, not looking him in the eye. “I’m… I’m gonna miss it, so much. But I can put it away and pretend. I did it before, when I didn’t have the dresses, and I can do it again.” He finally made eye contact with Bucky. “We’ll still be together over there.”
“Yeah, course we will.” Bucky said, needing to just believe it for now. “And the clothes will be here when we get back.”
“You’re right.” Steve said with a small smile. “Help me pack it all up?”
“Sure sweetheart.” Bucky said. “I’ll get the wig.”
“I can’t exactly be a girl any more.” Steve whispered, curled up in Bucky’s arms. The rest of the team had gone silent a while ago, and Bucky had been sharing Steve’s tent since they’d formed the Howling Commandos. The Howlies didn’t look too deep into it and no one reported them, so it was as good as they could ask for.
“Stevie.” Bucky said, stroking his hair. “What makes you say that?”
“It’s pretty obvious.” Steve said. “I’m… big and manly and… girls are hitting on me.”
“Oh sweetheart,” Bucky said. “Ignore the girls, for one thing. But the big and manly? You were always manly when you were Steve. Didn’t make you less of a woman when you were Dot.” Steve looked up at him, frowning a little.
“You…” He seemed a little lost for words. “But I-“
“Baby.” Bucky said. “You’ve always had the same parts in your pants, your body didn’t change depending on what you felt like. Never meant you weren’t a girl before. So what’s your body got to do with whether you’re a girl now?”
“I guess you’re right.” Steve said. “I’d… not thought of it like that.” He smiled ever so slightly. “You really think I was manly back then?”
“Very manly.” Bucky said, leaning in to kiss him. “And very feminine. And you can be both now too.”
“You don’t think I’ll look silly in a dress?” Steve asked.
“I think you’ll look gorgeous.” Bucky said. “Like you always did. Dot’s my best gal and I’ll be happy to see her if you ever want to be her again.”
“Thanks Buck.” Steve whispered. “I’ll have to get a whole new set of dresses though. My old ones won’t fit.”
“Whatever my best girl needs.” Bucky said, kissing his hair. “Sleep now Stevie. We got a long day tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Steve whispered. “You sure you wanna come? I understand if you wanna sit this one out, it’s sort of personal.”
“I’m one hundred percent sure.” Bucky said. “I got more reason than anyone to punch Zola in the face. And if I gotta jump onto a moving train to do that, then so be it.”
“You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back
of that freezer truck?”
“Was that the time we used our train money to buy hot dogs?”
“You blew 3 bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead.”
“What was her name again?”
“Dolores. You called her Dot.”