Keith was a good guy, really. Sure, he had a temper, a cold attitude, gave snarky remarks and teasing comments. Plus he broke a guy’s nose once, but he was still a decent person. His heart was in the right place, even if that sometimes didn’t work out for the best. Keith did a lot more good than he did bad.
Keith though he deserved some good karma.
Unfortunately, the universe thought otherwise.
His day had started normally. Keith woke up at seven, took a shower, got dressed, brushed his teeth, and worked out on the training deck until about ten. At ten, he took an Altean book and read in the lounge. Although Keith didn’t really read it, more or less just had it as something for his hands to do whilst the Red Paladin thought up battle scenarios.
Keith thought until it was noon, somewhere along the way Shiro had joined him in the lounge. Shiro stood up and did a stretch before turning to Keith. “I think we’ve delayed long enough. Time to do some team bonding,” Shiro made his way over to the intercoms. Keith let out a heavy sigh.
“Paladins! We’ve all had our down time, now it’s time to do some training! Coran just readjusted the mind room, so let’s work on that today,” Shiro’s voice filled the room over speakers.
There was an audible groan from what sounded like Lance. Keith kind of wanted to hear Lance make it again pinned dow- Bad thoughts, Keith, bad thoughts! “Dude, I just woke up…” Lance complained.
“Lance, get a hold of yourself,” Pidge sassed.
“I agree with Pidge,” Keith added in.
“Shove it, Keith!” Lance shouted. Oh Keith definitely wanted to shove something alright.
“Ok ok, no one is shoving anything. Lance, you better be in the mind room in twenty minutes or I’m sending Keith to get you. Twenty minutes, everyone,” Shiro used his dad voice.
Twenty minutes later, all five Paladins and Coran were in the mind room. The five of them were all seated in a circle, their head gear on and ready to go. Although they thought for some reason it was a good idea sit Keith next to Lance. Keith begged to differ, because Lance would not stop moving and it was distracting. Pidge just kept grinning at them.
“Alright you guys! I just made modifications and adjustments to the machine! Now, the link between your fellow Paladins and your lions should be much easier! Give me a moment to turn this baby on!” Coran said in his usual cheery voice.
After a few ticks, a sharp ringing began in Keith’s ear. At first it was small, but it seemed to be growing by the second. With a quick glance around, everyone else seemed to be having the same issue. It kept getting louder until none of them could even hear Coran’s shouting.
And then it happened.
“…So then Liana just nosedives me onto the planet! Without a single warning! Man, talk about an annoying Paladin,” A fierce, fiery high-pitched voice filled Keith’s head.
“Um, who was that?!” Hunk’s voice was filled with concern and panic. So they could hear it too. For some reason, the voice sounded oddly familiar to Keith.
“Oh my goodness, remember when Aaron decided that piloting me into an ocean was a good idea? I may be the water one, but still… The poor fishies,” A soft, calming voice followed.
“Coran, what’s going on here?” Shiro growled, trying to find the source of the voices.
“Wait- I know that voice! I heard it once… Blue? I’m pretty that’s Blue talking!” Lance’s voice was just as concerned as Hunk’s.
“Yeah, well, Keith isn’t exactly- wait. Are they talking to us? I think they’re talking to us, Caz!” The loud voice was back.
“Hey! I heard that!” Keith yelled. If the soft voice was Lance’s lion, the loud one had to be Red.
“This is odd… I’ve heard of Paladins getting close enough to their lion to communicate with them, but never have all of us been able to talk with each other’s Paladin. I am Zur, the Black Lion. Although, my Paladin seems to refer to me as ‘Baby’? Which I do not understand, since babies are human offspring, which I am not, and certain not Shiro’s child,” A mature female voice cut in.
All of them turned to Shiro with judging eyes.
“I believe it is a term of endearment! Please, don’t be so quick to judge your Paladin, Zur!” Another female voice entered, this one being low pitched.
“Wait, are all the lions female?!” Lance asked, eyebrows knitted in an odd expression.
“Well, we don’t have manes, do we? I swear, male humans are so fragile with their masculinity. You should take a page from the Xior race. The women on Xior are treated as equals to males, and often men are actually afraid of women. Actually, now that I think about it, the majority of races favor women, so really Earth is backwards,” A small, know-it-all voice pitched in. Definitely had to be Pidge’s lion.
“OOOOH KILL ‘EM, KEI!” Red yelled.
“Don’t actually kill people, Kei! We need our Paladins! And I quite like mine! He’s very friendly, and kind, and tells me wondrous stories of Earth and his family!” Blue, or Caz, said in a panicked voice.
“Are we thinking of the same Lance, Blue, or Caz, or whatever?” Keith said in a snarky voice.
“Show Caz respect, you dumb little shit!” Red screamed at him.
“Be nice, Vin! I don’t mind! We should be using the names our Paladins gave us. Besides, you should stop using Earth slang! You just called your Paladin an idiotic small piece of fecal matter!” Blue retorted.
“Your lions are almost as bad as you guys,” Pidge joked, their lion giving a hum of agreement.
“You don’t have to live with it, as I do,” Green added.
“Don’t be jealous because my lion loves me, Pidge,” Lance replied with a grin, looking like he had won a lotto.
“Well, I guess it could be put that way. I do in fact love my Paladin, Lance, but in the platonic way. I believe your species uses the term ‘no homo’?” Blue said, uncertain of themselves.
Pidge and Hunk broke down into tears, completely skipping laughter. Keith joined in. Shiro was trying, and miserably failing, to conceal a smile. Lance was pure red. “Oh my god, shut up Keith!” Lance squeaked.
“Why me?! It was your lion!” Keith breathed out through laughs.
“Sorry, I should use my own advice. Human slang is odd,” Blue corrected themselves.
“Don’t worry, Caz. Once in a dream, Keith called Lance ‘Daddy’, even though daddy is a cuter version of dad, which is another version of father, and fathers are the biological male parent of a human. In no shape or form, that makes sense, should Keith refer to Lance as his ‘Daddy’,“ Red tried to comfort Blue in a way.
“RED!” Keith shouted, having stopped laughing and now was completely embarrassed. Lance with just staring at him with wide eyes. Pidge gave Hunk a high five, who looked like he was going to puke.
“Something similar happened in a dream of Lance’s. Keith was handcuffed to a bed, which could not be comfortable or safe. What if the building had caught fire? Keith very well could have perished, Lance! Think about people’s safety!” Blue added in a concerned and scolding voice. Now Lance was completely red, as well.
“Caz, Vin, I hope you realize those are both sexual terms and activities in the human culture? Typically, the one who calls the other ‘Daddy’ and the one who is cuffed are the submissive of the two. Which can only lead me to conclude that Keith would be, in a homosexual relationship that was intimate, the position of a bott-“
“PIDGE MAKE YOUR LION SHUT UP!” Keith yelled at them.
“Oh my god... you two dream about banging each other…” Hunk said in a quiet voice, hiding his face in his hands.
“Banging doesn’t sound safe…” Hunk’s lion said in agreeance.
“Guys! Let’s not intrude in Keith and Lance’s personal lives!” Shiro pitched in with his dad voice once again. Everyone went quiet, and the two avoided eye contact.
“Good news! I’m just about done fixing this, give me five more minutes!” Coran’s voice broke the silence. He seemed normal. Oh right, Keith thinks, Coran can’t hear the lions.
“If our time is drawing to it’s end, I suggest we use this time to actually be of use to our Paladins,” Baby said, their voice devoid of emotion.
“Agreed,” Green replied.
“Personally, I’d prefer it if you flew more recklessly, Keith! Stop worrying about Lance every damn mission!” Red snapped.
“Yes, I agree with... Red, you need to stop flying that way as well, Lance. Everyone will be perfectly fine. You staying too close makes it hard to fire the ice beam.”
“I think my Paladin drives fine, but I wish we did more research runs and took samples,” Green lion pouted.
“I would, but Shiro wont let me,” Pidge said accusingly, eyes narrowing at Shiro.
“Shiro, let Pidge and Green do that. Please, spare us from hearing Green complain more. I have no other complaints except for that,” Baby practically pleaded.
“Please stop throwing up in the cabin, Hunk.”
“That I probably can’t do,” Hunk replied to Yellow in an apologetic way.
Suddenly Coran appeared in the middle of the circle. Allura was standing beside him, face ablaze. Oh right, she could hear the lions… Oh god, she could hear the lions! “Alrighty Paladins! I, the amazing Coran, have fixed the issue! Say bye to your lions and then I’ll do it!”
“Goodbye Yellow! Maybe one day we’ll be able to talk again!” Hunk’s voice had a hint of sadness tangled in it.
“Goodbye, my Paladin!” Yellow’s sweet voice made Hunk smile.
“I’m expecting some science runs, Pidge,” Green’s voice was next.
“I am too.” It was an odd send off.
“Shiro, please continue to lead the team efficiently. The entire universe hangs in the balance, really,” Baby’s word were not good last ones for Shiro.
“I’ll miss talking to you, Lance! You have been my favorite Paladin! It won’t be long before we may speak again, I’m sure! I very much enjoy your stories, so please continue to tell me them! I heat up nicely if your room is ever too cold! Also, I have an archive of music stored in my memory from my time on Earth, picking them up from radio frequencies! I also gathered some ‘video games’ from Earth’s networks so if you’re ever bored swing by! And I can help you-“
“Do Keith,” Red cut off blue.
Pidge snorted. They liked Red.
“Fuck you too, Red!”
“Language!” Shiro scorned.
“Thank you Blue, I’ll miss you too. Hey, that rhymed!” Lance was trying hard to ignore Red’s words.
Coran hit a button, and the loud noise from the start was back. This time, however, it gradually declined until there was no noise. The group glanced at each other and when they heard no female voices, sighed.
“I feel so dirty man,” Hunk stated and Pidge nodded in agreeance.
“Why?” Lance asked.
“Maybe because I just learned my best friend wants to do his kind of rival?!” Hunk bit back.
“Well it wasn’t like I wanted Blue to share that information! Besides, Red said Keith wanted to do me too!” Lance shot a finger at Keith.
“Guys!” Allura shouted, finally speaking.
The five of them turned to Allura. Her face was covered in blush
“May I suggest we give Keith and Lance a bit of privacy to work this out?” Allura said in a weak voice.
Quickly, everyone but Keith and Lance left the room. Pidge gave them a wink and a thumbs up on their way out. There was a long pause before either of the two pilots moved.
Needless to say, Allura let out a yelp when she heard Red’s victory cry of “They’re finally doing each other! Green was right, too!” and Blue’s loud cheering. Allura hopes that the Galra don’t attack.
Something tells her (more like roars at her) that one of the Paladins probably won’t be able to walk much tomorrow.