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Finding My Escape

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The shrill ringing of a telephone jerked Jensen Ackles back to reality. He was not, in fact, lying on the beach in Hawaii with his best friend Tom Welling. Nor was he married, nor was he dating, nor was he exactly sure where he was going in life.
He had little to nothing to complain about in life. Jensen was not poor, he was wealthy and living in a nice little apartment in Manhattan. He was not out of work, he was managing his bookstore well and people flooded in daily. He was happy for the most part, but he still felt like there was a little piece missing.

Of course there is the old cliché that you can never be happy without “that other half” or the love of your life, but Jensen was satisfied with the casual sex he got on weekends and the one night stands. He wasn’t looking for a long time commitment at this point in his life. Honestly, Jensen didn’t think he’d had a boyfriend since high school. Maybe college. Tom constantly told him differently, even more often now that Tom was about to marry his love of his life, Mike Rosenbaum. Jensen was truly happy for them both.

Jensen just didn’t see the need for him to have a big white wedding when he could just enjoy the free booze at maybe a few hookups at Tom’s. He didn’t get any brownie points for sleeping around so much but it was Jensen’s life and he was content with it.

Sure, there some days where he wished he could come home to more than a heap of unwatched television and microwave dinners. But the next day he would see the sunrise in his luxurious apartment at all would be well.

And then the damn envelope had to come in the mail, announcing the joyous bond of Tom Welling and Mike Rosenbaum.

It was in Hawaii and Jensen was taking two weeks off to enjoy the wedding, post and pre festivities. But Jensen had also gotten a damn plus one in the envelope and Jensen secretly wondered if Tom put that in there as a not-so-subtle hint to get his ass in gear and stop acting like a horny teenager.

All jokes aside, Jensen was leaving for Hawaii in two days and would hopefully find some inspiration for the book he was working on. It was a work in progress, or so he told himself. Every night he would open his laptop and look at the—how many pages was it now? 60? 20? 100? But he would look at the document and the words would turn to nothing more than smeared black pixels and he would drift off to sleep. He was always finding some reason not to work on it. He was too tired, he was too busy, he had no inspiration, etcetera, etcetera.

Jensen loved writing. He always had. It was the one thing that he could count on to calm him down and to make things worth living. He loved the clack of the keyboard and seeing words flow out from under his fingers onto the white screen on the computer. It was, and it shocked Jensen that he thought this, even better than sex. There was nothing more pleasurable to him that completing a page or two in the novel he was attempting to write.

Jensen’s heart broke a little more as he glanced down at the clock and saw it was only noon. Jensen’s bookstore closed at six and he could have sworn it was at least 4. “Danneel!” Jensen hollered at the redhead that ran the shop with him, and his best friend.

“Jensen!” Danneel shouted back.

“I’m going out to lunch. Want me to pick you up anything?”

“Are you going to the little deli down on 6th?”

“As always,” Jensen responded.

“Then grab me the usual. Vegetarian!”

“Danneel,” Jensen said, “I’ve known you since you were 5. I think I’ve got the vegetarian part down.”

“You can never be too safe, Jenny,” Danneel responded, poking her pretty head out from under the beaded curtain that concealed the back room. “And when are you going to invite me to go to Tom’s wedding with you?”

“Tom sent you an invitation too.”

“True, but I think we both know that neither of us are going to use that plus one. So whadda say we go together?”

The logic in Danneel’s statement annoyed Jensen. “Fine, Danni. We’ll go together.”

“Um, that is not how you ask a lady to go to a wedding with you.”

“No, but it is how I’m asking you,” Jensen replied curtly. He turned and left to go the deli, smiling slightly at Danneel’s frustrated and charming expression.

Dave’s Deli, while not very cleverly named, was very cleverly put together. It was small and charming and they hadn’t upped their décor since at least 1960, which gave everything a retro look to it. The waitresses were all sassy and the sandwiches were so big you could buy one and eat it for lunch, dinner, and breakfast the next day. Jensen stopped by Dave’s at least once a day and everyone there knew him by face and name. Even some of the regular customers knew him.

“Jensen!” Bob, the boisterous owner of Dave’s, clapped him on the back as he stepped in the door. “How are you today?”
“Same as usual, Bobby. Business is good at the bookstore, Danneel is cranky over some ex-boyfriend, and Tom is getting married.”

“Tom’s marriage doesn’t sound like same as everyday. What’s the guy’s name?”
Bob had been very accepting of Jensen when he came out and was like an uncle to Jensen. Bob often pushed his customers to Jensen’s bookstore and vice versa. Bob had originally thought that Tom and Jensen were boyfriends but Jensen quickly put those rumors to rest, assuring that Tom was too much like a brother for any romantic interest to develop. “Mike Rosenbaum,” Jensen said after a pause. “I’ve heard a lot about him from Tom, obviously, but this will be my first time meeting him.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Nervous?” Jensen pondered the idea. “Not really. Tom makes Mike out to be a really good guy and he loves reading so I think we’ll get along fine.”

“And what about you?” Bob said in a kind voice. “Find anyone?”

Jensen shrugged. “I don’t think there is anyone, Bob. Maybe I’m just destined to spend life alone.”

“No one spends life alone, boy. You’ll find someone, I’m sure of it.”

Jensen forced a smile at his friend and then said, “Danneel and I want the usual. And…” Jensen scanned the dessert display Bob was not-so-secretly proud of. “A piece of cheesecake.”

“All to go?”

Jensen smiled. “As usual.”


Any time Danneel got cheesecake from Dave’s Deli, she was in a good mood for the rest of the day. She smothered him with hugs and kisses when he brought her back the dessert and even deemed that he could go home early and pack for the wedding.
Jensen’s idea of packing was more like stopping at the bar on the way home and seeing if there was anyone that was willing to get drawn into a basket case like Jensen and go home with him. The answer was usually yes.

Already there were several guys—and a few girls as well—eying him from the other end of the bar. He had yet to determine if he wanted to take anyone home tonight. It had been a long day and it was only Wednesday in what was sure to be a long two more days until Friday. He wanted to get on the plane to Hawaii as soon as he could. Flying on a plane to a sunny beach to a hotel with an open bar and what was sure to be single, hot men was the only thing propelling Jensen to even finish the week. The bartender placed a whiskey in front of Jensen. “Courtesy of the gentleman at the end,” the bartender said. He seemed a bit bitter not to have hit on him first. Jensen tossed the attractive guy at the end a white smile and raised his glass to him. In return, the man stood and left his friend to go sit by Jensen.

Jensen was a bit put out by this, considering he’d been contemplating spending the night alone. But the closer the man got the more attractive he was. He had short blonde hair, a very fit body, and when he got close enough Jensen could see ocean-blue eyes. “Evening,” The man said. His voice was softer than velvet and 10 times as sexy.

Jensen leaned back in the stool and took a sip of his whiskey. “Hi. Thanks for the whiskey.”

“It’s my favorite. Figured I’d use it to try and pick you up.”

So he was blunt and straight to the point. Jensen liked that. He admired that. The quicker he introduced himself, the quicker he could take him home and bang him.

“I’m Jensen.”


“Nice name.” Jensen took another sip of his whiskey. “Nice taste in alcohol, too.”

Jake flashed a smile. “I don’t hear your name very often. But I like it.”

“Well I’m absolutely charmed to hear that,” Jensen replied. A bit of his Texas drawl slipped into his statement but Jake didn’t seem to notice it.

“You’re here alone. Bad breakup or not interested?”

“Neither. I go for entertainment rather than commitment.”

“Interesting philosophy. I guess I can’t protest, considering I’m rather the same way.”

Then,” Jensen concluded, “why are we still at the bar?”


Jensen slammed Jake against the wall of his apartment and sucked on Jake’s tongue, which was wiggling its way into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen smirked at the moan Jake let out before returning the kiss furiously. Jake fumbled with the button on Jensen’s jeans before yanking them off along with his boxers. It was Jensen’s turn to moan as Jake’s mouth closed around Jensen’s dick, sucking and swiping his tongue on the head. Jensen thrust into Jake’s mouth, knowing exactly how far to go without choking him. Jake sucked harder, his tongue exploring every last inch of Jensen’s dick.

Jensen’s groans were rhythmic now. His breath came in short gasps and his thrusts into Jake’s mouth came more frequently. “Shit Jake… FUCK… uh… JAKE!” Jensen was cussing in between moans. With one last desperate, “FUCK!” Jensen came into Jake’s mouth and Jake swallowed all of Jensen’s cum dutifully and licked Jensen’s dick after, getting every last drop.

And it the morning when Jensen woke up from the greatest sex he’d experience in a long time he still felt a hole in his heart that not even the beautiful sunrise could fill.


Friday morning Jensen and Danneel sat in two worn down leather chairs in the terminal of JFK airport, waiting to board before the 10-hour plane ride to Hawaii. Danneel looked extremely cranky just by the thought of the long flight; Danni hated plane rides of any length. 10 hours would certainly be Danni’s hell.

Jensen tried to distract her by telling her about Jake. “He was attractive, really energetic, and—,”

“Jen, I love you and all, but the hookups are getting old. When are you going to actually meet a guy to settle down with?”

“I don’t want to settle down, Danni. This… this is working for me.”

Danni snorted. “Sure, Jen. Maybe if you were 20. But you’re 27, Jensen, it’s time for you to start considering a long term relationship. Tom has!”

“Because Tom and Mike are soulmates,” Jensen said, with some amount of disdain.

“Tom and Mike are happy together. And maybe they are soulmates.”

“There’s no such thing,” Jensen said. Danni rolled her eyes and faced away. “There’s no such thing,” Jensen repeated softly to himself.

Luckily the woman announcing over the loudspeaker that they were now boarding for whatever-flight-number to Hawaii and all Jensen could think was, now I’m escaping.