Bow ties were definitely not cool. Long fingers struggled against Matt’s neck, this damn thing was so annoying but he knew you loved it when he wears it. So he was being extra patient with his movements this time, but it was running out. A giggle snapped him out of his thoughts back into reality. Matt turned to see you adjusting your earrings while walking to him.
“Need a hand?” Your smile melted him and he knew you appreciated the extra care he took on his wardrobe.
“Please” Half sighing he gave up and you took your time arranging the pice of cloth around his neck. Your boyfriend’s hands were unsteady moving slightly at his sides. He was nervous. You eyed him and finished your task, placing your hands on his board chest.
“You look very handsome Matt” You reached up and peck him on the lips. Matt took a deep breath and held your hands on his.
“And you look stunning” Your cheeks heated up. He was usually shy expressing his feelings, but you took to your heart the little moments Matt allowed himself to voiced them out.
“It’s going to be fine darling” Squeezing his hands in yours to assured him the night will go smoothly. “You’ll be great” The blond man kissed your cheek and murmured a ‘Thanks Sweetheart’.
You both made your way to the party. Matt’s university was holding an alumni party and he was not so excited to get there. He’s never been popular nor had a lot of friends back then, but the moment you’ve found out about it, you were thrilled. You even went ‘dress hunting’ with your best friend and bought him a new shirt. He loved to see you so happy he couldn’t broke your heart by refusing to go.
All Matt did was swallow down his discomfort. Spend a few hours surrounded by the bullies and hypocrite salutes from his former classmates couldn’t be the hard, right?. This was going to be a long night.
When you reached your destination, Matt handed the keys to the valet and held your hand as he walked you to the hall. He looked over to you, your dress fitted you perfectly. In your opinion, there was a lump here an there, but in his eyes, you wore it like no one else could, to perfection. Noticing his stare you blushed and squeezed his hand lightly to calm your heart. Matt opened the big door and immediately the air was filled with music, chatting and laughs.
“Hi” A blond woman appeared in front of you. “Welcome and thank you for coming. Take one of these, write down your names and join the party” She flashed a arrogant smile and left as fast as she arrived.
“Weird” You commented and Matt laughed at your remark. You wrote your names in the tag and adjusted it to his suit and yours on your dress. “There”
“Let’s get some drinks”
“I’m right behind you”
An hour later you’ve met some people while walking around. All of them said they remembered Matt but you knew they were lying, though you were grateful they were polite enough to make a small talk and so was Matt. The smaller, the better. You leaned to Matt and whispered 'You alright?’, he answered affirmatively and excused himself to the bathroom, you knew he was reaching his ‘socializing’ limits. Maybe if you left now, you could catch a movie or even better, have dinner together.
You jumped when suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder and heard someone saying your name. Turning around you recognized Alice, an old client you assisted on the firm six months ago. She wore a skin tight black dress and had a glass hanging rom her slim fingers.
“I knew it was you” She hugged you with the hand not holding her drink.
“Alice, how nice to see you. How’ve been things?” She smiled widely.
“Amazingly well. After the divorce, my life’s been one hell of a party. If you know what I mean” Alice winked at you as she leaned to whisper the last part in your ear. The smell of alcohol told you she’ve had more than enough drinks for one night.
“Sounds exciting” You slipped your own drink as Alice dragged you from your arm to introduce you to her friends, Jane and Courtney. The three of them were tipsy and for a couple of minutes they amused you. Your thoughts went to Matt again. Looking around for him, Alice interrupted you for the second time in the evening.
“So, I heard you were daring a Solo man. Well done dear” She raised her glass and the rest followed her lead commenting ’nice’ and ‘you go girl’ while they laughed. “I mean, he’s handsome, intelligent and from a good family. He’s quite a catch.”
“What can I say? I’m a very lucky woman” You shrugged with a sly smile.
“But how do you manage work and a personal life at the same time?” Jane, the brunette one asked you.
“What do you mean?” You asked, brows frowned in confusion.
“Well, Alice here told us you work with him, Kylo. He’s your boss right? From the Solo family” Courtney clarified for you.
Matt took a few minutes to gather himself in the bathroom. Nothing bad per se had happened but he wasn’t going to wait for it. He plans to walk around with you, dance a few songs and call the night. When he didn’t find you where he left you, Matt panicked. Then he heard the faint sound of your laugh and saw you standing along other three women.
As he got closer, your conversation got clearer. They prized your boyfriend and you commented how lucky you are. It made his heart warm and drew a smile on his lips. But the moment they made it clear the man they’ve been referring to was his brother, the reason for those pretty words were because they thought you were with Kylo, an ache reached his chest.
Of course they’d believe you to be with someone like his brother. Powerful, rich, sure of himself, everything he wasn’t. You are such a wonderful woman and he often wondered what made you accept that first date two years ago, he feared his luck ran out as he had used it all out that moment. The happiest man on the earth, he’d called himself.
Since the incident on your office, he hasn’t brought the subject back. Matt was insecure by nature, and tried as hard as he could to hide it and act as his brothers. He wanted you to feel him sure of himself, so you could be too. But at moments, it was hard not to listen to the nasty voice over his shoulder telling him to do you a favor and set you free to be your better self. He often felt selfish about you and it conflicted his heart. He wanted to be better for you, to give you the best on life, even if it meant him away from you.
You haven’t seen him. Your back was turned to Matt and your ‘acquaintances’ were too drunk to pay attention to the broken expression in his face. His hands clenched inside his pockets and his shoulders dropped. His first instinct, to turn around and leave, run until his heart stopped, but the sound of your voice froze him.
“No I’m... I’m dating his brother, Matt” You spoke louder than necessary, annoyed by their assumption.
“Oh, oh. We thought” Alice smiled apologetically. “It’s just…” They hesitated for a second until Jane’s undefined mind spoke without restrain.
“Kylo suited you better” She was so sure of herself, said it as if the action would change reality to suit her wishes. Alice elbowed her and Jane limited her reaction to a hateful glance.
There it was. Words Matt had feared since he realized he was so in love with you, now they’ve been said, they fell off someone else’s lips. Now, they felt real, and the idea of never being enough for you weighed him down. If he dared to be more dramatic, he’d turn around and run away form the scene, but Matt knew better now, he’d hold his pain until you were alone and the party was over. He had to face it, Matt decided.
But you laughed. Alice, Courtney and Jane stared at you as you tried hard to stop the involuntary act. Even your boyfriend began to worry. Matt entered your view but it was difficult to see him clearly as tears filled your eyes. Finally, after a few minutes of continuous laughing, you cached your breath enough to be able to speak.
“Matty. I’ve heard the funniest joke” You explained the blond man as you cleaned the single tear traveling down your cheek.
“What are you talking about?” The four of them were puzzled to your reaction.
“They think…” and you pointed to the three women standing before you, emphasizing your speech. “… that I’m dating Kylo, can you believe that?”
Actually yes, I can. Matt’s inside voice said. It was only logical, expected, the natural order for you to be with Kylo, but you weren’t. And seeing you like this, awoke something inside him, something he thought never to obtain.
Not only had you clarified his former classmates you were with him, but mocked the idea of you dating someone else. Matt’s heart fluttered in happiness. For the first time in years of knowing you he felt sure of himself, and you’ve given him this. And this gift was one Matt would repay you the rest of his life, or he’d at least try.
“We just…” Jane’s voice broke the blond man’s inner thoughts. “… we meant nothing by it. It was just a mistake” Her intended apology lacked importance, the moment you saw the look Matt had in his eyes as he watched you, your brain froze. There was something you haven’t seen before, and yet, they still held the familiar feeling Matt gave you.
It was as if you’ve met him for the first time all over again, like bumping into an old friend and realizing just what a wonderful person they’ve become. Everybody around you despaired, the music turned off for all you cared and in that moment, only the two of you were in the room. And the only feeling inside both your chest was of love, this was a one in a life time moment, and you had every intention of living it until the last second.
Unfortunately, you weren’t alone, and the girls beside you grew impatient of your lack of action. “Um, is everything ok?” Courtney tried to call your attention. “You’re not mad at us or anything right?” Blinking a few times you turned to her.
“No” You answered quickly. “Sorry, no. Everything is alright” Your boyfriend’s attention moved to the three women and greeted them as he shaked their hands.
“So Matt, what is it that you do exactly?” Alice’s curiosity and drunken brain took the best of her, again.
“I um, I’m staring my own business. We specialize in backing up companies data and computer systems”
“Wow, that’s interesting” Jane cheered. “I’m sure there’s a lot of job for you guys now. Technology is everywhere after all” The five of you laughed lightly agreeing and the conversation continued in a smooth and calm environment for a few minutes, you were grateful for that. Still, the look Matt had gave you was at the back of your brain. You’ll ask him later that night.
“So, now that I know Kylo is free” Alice started. “Would you set me up with him?” You smiled politely and felt Matt tense next to you. The topic has always been a difficult one for him and frankly, you were getting annoyed.
“I don’t know Alice. I’m not sure he’s single right now”
“But you must! Matt here should know, he’s his brother after all” Jane and Courtney have sobered up by now and shared your could see their discomfort. “I mean, you lost your chance to get the big fish, let a girl try!”
“You know what?” Completely frustrated and feeling insulted, your love choices shouldn’t be something to feel ashamed as she wanted you to believe. “I’ve had it whit all this crap” Silence. Apparently, you’ve spoke louder than you intended and attracted a few foreign attentions.
“Dating Matt was the best decision I’ve taken in my entire life” You were staring at Alice, heart racing and filled with anger. “He’s the best of us. He never forgets an anniversary, birthday or date. He’s kind, chivalrous and… smoking hot. Pretends to be distracted whenever I try to sneak up on him, laughs at my pitiful jokes. Lefts the last slice of pizza for me, eats my experiments on the kitchen without complain”
By now, the blond and ‘smoking hot’ man next to you held your gaze, you weren’t shouting anymore, instead, your voice lowered enough to sound sweet and romantic, so unlike you. “Brings me a rose on his way from work now and then, just because. Reads for me whenever I’m feeling down, even if he hates the story. He’s the sweetest, loving and bravest person I’ve known. If there’s someone on this planet truly worthy of happiness, it’s him. Everyday I thank the heavens for the opportunity of sharing the same earth he does, and nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my time with him”
Words left you so easy it scared you. All that love, one you weren’t aware until now you held for Matt, hit you unannounced. Damn, so this is what falling in love meant, really loving someone. Now you knew how it felt to be vulnerable. Bare and fragile before him, scared to be rejected and yet, sure he feels the same.
But now you’ve used all your eloquence, you froze in the moment and Matt was in the same situation, your little audience uncertain of what to do. Lucky for you, a slow song began to play and Matt reached for your hand.
“Would you care for a dance?” Effortless, he lead you away into the dance floor. He placed one of his hand on the small of your back and the other held one of yours. The dance was slow and for a moment you thought it better to say nothing, but the guilt was eating you.
“Listen Matt, I’m sorry for everything…”
“You know, I’m pretty sure you haven’t noticed but a while ago you began to bring me lunch to work more often, almost everyday” You arched a brow, he was right, you haven’t noticed. Seeing your questioning look he smiled. “I knew it”
“I…, seriously? I’ve been doing that?”
“Yes. You call by midday, ask me if I’ve had something to eat, if I haven’t or you don’t like my choice of meal, you’ll bring me a lunch box. My co-workers had started to joke how my ‘wife’ will fat me by the end of the year” Your cheeks flushed at the world ‘wife’. You honestly did it unconsciously, worried he’d be healthy and naturally inclined to satisfy his needs. Apparently, you’ve been acting like a married couple long before you became aware of your own feelings. “And here I thought I was the clueless one”
“Ha, well. Never judge a book by its cover”
“Indeed. I mean” He smirked and looked down at you. “If that’s your idea of a proposal, I thought you’d do it more romantically”
“Proposal?” And then, the words ‘nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my time with him’ hit you. It sounded like a proposal. Your eyes widened in surprise and Matt’s smile grew, he was half teasing you, half meaning it. “Don’t laugh at me, I was leaving my heart back there” You hid your face in his chest and hear the beats of his heart, they calmed you.
“I know. That’s why, even if we need to properly talk about it, I want to tell you I feel the same” You rose your eyes once more. “Nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my time with you” He quoted you.
Reaching up at him, you kissed him hard, leaving your feelings for him in that kiss, assuring him once more, he’s the one for you.
“Does this mean I get a rose every night?” Matt’s laugh was louder this time, he hugged you closer to him and lifted you enough to spin you a few times as you laughed and clung to him.
“Only if you bring me lunch to work everyday” He agreed.
“It’s a deal then” This was something you could get used to. “Just don’t get fat”
Matt’s night went better that he had expected.