Work Header

Lesson Learned

Work Text:

Genma glared at Raidou when he opened the door. "Someone better be dead." From his definite state of undress he wasn't alone.

Raidou sighed and pushed his way into the room. "Iruka threw me out, into a rainstorm, without even my wallet. I'm crashing here."

"Iruka?! No way! You two are the perfect lovey dovey couple, all sedate and homey and shit! What the hell did you do?!?"

Raidou sighed as he shook the water off his coat.


It all started with a very long motorcycle ride home. Naruto had bought the bike to save on gas. So far he'd only taken short trips. This was by far the longest. He learned a very important lesson. It had been hot, so he'd only needed a long sleeve shirt. His arms and back ached since he'd driven straight through. That was lesson number two. Lesson one was about friction.

60 mph + a light loose shirt = friction.

He looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. His face was red and wind burnt. It stung a bit... but his nipples!! Kami!! Those were on fire!!

Really, how was he supposed to know that just having his shirt rubbing there for a few hours would cause so much pain??! He'd barely gotten through his hellos before he'd dashed into his brother's bathroom for what he'd hoped would be a soothing shower. Nothing helped, hot water burned. Cold water burned. Cool water burned...

He was chaffed in the worst possible way! He dug through the medicine cabinet for some lotion. Iruka had to have something... anything. He finally found a decent sized bottle in the bottom of a drawer. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as he slathered the thick liquid on his abused flesh.

Raidou knocked once before he pushed the door open a crack. "Hey kid, Ru wants to know if you're..."

He had been about to say 'hungry', but he just caught Naruto's reflection in the mirror. He turned and walked away without a word. The image of his lovers adored 'baby brother' standing there with his nipples all wet and glistening, was something he was trying to dump out of his head.

"Rai!! It's not what you think!!"

"Not thinking..." Raidou answered and he really wasn't.

Iruka looked up form the couch puzzled.

Naruto held up the bottle and started to explain. "They were chaffed from the ride. I found some lotion and.."

Iruka's hands flew to his mouth and a horrified shriek of despair split the air.

Raidou really tried hard. He really really did. "That's... That's... not..."

Giggles turned into helpless chuckling that bordered on hysterical laughter.

Naruto looked down at the bottle and Iruka bolted from the room.

'Unscented Anal Lubrication'

Naruto started to gag, launched the bottle as far away as possible, then ran for the bathroom and another shower.


Genma bit his lip, nodded and went to tell his visitor that they'd have to continue another time. Even if Raidou had left, there was no way Genma could have 'continued' with a straight face now.