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Never Give Keys to Your Sister (Ever)

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Lizzie taps her fingers against the cool countertop of Darcy’s kitchen. He’s late. It’s been two weeks since he left for a work trip in Paris and he’s late. She sighs, agitated, and stares at the agonizingly shut door. He said he would be back around twelve thirty and it’s one thirty. She clearly remembers him saying “July 1st, twelve thirty” when they said goodbye at the airport. He is never late but of course he’s late right now and she hasn’t seen him in two weeks.

The sound of a lock turning in the door echoes through the spacious penthouse and Lizzie prepares herself to yell at him. But then the door opens and in comes a slightly disheveled boyfriend, with his tie a little looser than normal and his hair a little less perfect. His grey eyes are tired and Lizzie can’t bear to yell at him when he looks like this. So instead she throws herself at him, hugging him tightly. He drops his bags to the floor and sighs in relief as he wraps his arms around her. They pull away and Lizzie opens her mouth to say something but her oh so late boyfriend kisses her softly. Melting into his embrace, she lets his tardiness pass for a moment. His lips glide over hers smoothly and capture her bottom lip in between his. He tastes slightly of coffee and she wonders briefly if you can taste relief. Finally, his tongue slips into her mouth, tracing over her teeth.

“You’re late,” she breathes when they break apart.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “The plane was—“

She stops his words by reclaiming his lips, not caring anymore. He smiles against her and eyes flutter closed. She nips at his lip and he moans a little, reminding her of how much she missed him while he was away. Hearing his voice at odd hours because of time differences was never enough but now he’s here in front of her, his slowly moving away from her mouth and to her neck. Her hands thread through his hair at the nape of his neck and they stumble backwards, bumping into the counter messily. She is only barely aware of her surroundings, focusing on what his lips are doing to her neck. She arches her neck back and he lifts her effortlessly onto the marble counter. He pulls her closer to him and she wraps her legs around his hips. She lets out small whimpers as he kisses the sensitive spot behind her ear. His breath is hot against her neck and she knows that she is breathing hard against him. Her head is spinning from the desire building inside her and Darcy isn’t helping by trying to tug her shirt off. Once it is off, he breaks his contact with her neck and looks at her, his grey eyes dark with want.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers softly and Lizzie blushes slightly.

“And you are wearing too many clothes,” she replies and pulls his blazer off, throwing across the room somewhere. Darcy smirks and kisses her again. She responds instantly, with her hand tangled in his hair and lips moving against his. She works at the buttons on his dress shirt, keeping their lips connected. When it takes her too long to unbutton, she groans and they pull apart. Darcy laughs a little and she looks affronted at his amused look. She goes back to the buttons but he instead takes her hands and does them himself. She does the honors with his shirt, throwing it like she did with the blazer. Once the shirt is gone, she presses her lips to his in another searing kiss. Days of separation left them longing for each other and Lizzie can't help but reach for his belt buckle.

“So soon, Miss Bennet?” he mutters smugly.

“Oh shut up,” she says and the belt joins the blazer and dress shirt. Soon enough, both of their clothes are limited and Darcy lifts her to take her to the bedroom.

“No,” she says and Darcy stiffens, pulling away.


“Here,” she lets out and that smug look returns to his face.

“Don’t get cocky.”

And he retrieves her lips in his. She rocks her body against his and his hands go to her hips, inching towards the hem of her underwear. Lizzie bites his lip a little to hurry him up and he loops his finger through the elastic—

“Welcome home!” The door slams open and Gigi’s excited voice pulls them apart. It is quickly followed by her shriek and the sound of Fitz making a strangled noise. Unfortunately for Lizzie and Darcy, the kitchen, living room and dining room are open so when you walk in the door, it is impossible not to see into the kitchen. Darcy springs away from Lizzie and franticly looks for his pants. Lizzie hops of the counter and attempts to cover her barely dressed body. Once he finds his shirt, he throws it at her and she quickly pulls it on. That leaves Darcy, who is fast becoming redder and redder, running around the kitchen looking for his pants, and Fitz and Gigi paralyzed in shock.

“I—“ Gigi starts but she is at a loss for words. Lizzie finds Darcy’s pants in the sink and throws them at him. Catching them deftly, he avoids the gaze of everyone in the room.

“Soooo,” Fitz drawls. “I see you two have already said hello.”


No one says anything to that.

“I have to go,” Gigi says suddenly after a bout of silence. “Preferably to sterilize my eyes, definitely to remind myself never to touch that counter again."

“Gigi,” Darcy starts.

“No, it’s fine. Really, Will. I, uh. Get that you two have… That you’re together and… Yeah, I’m going to go.” She turns abruptly on her heel and heads towards the door. “Oh, uh. Here’s some, um. Flourless chocolate cake. Your favorite. Yeah, so, welcome home.”

She sighs and shakes her head, turning back towards the door. She peeks her head through as she closes the door and adds, “Just, um. Wear condoms?” and leaves.

The apartment is stunned into silence.

“Did my baby sister just tell me to wear condoms?” Darcy asks, in a very shocked, very confused tone.

“Well, it is good advice,” Fitz says finally. “Welcome back, dude.”

He walks towards Darcy to give him a hug then thinks better of it after his eyes flicker to Lizzie, who pulls the shirt more tightly around her.

“Let’s have dinner tonight,” he suggests and Lizzie and Darcy are grateful he isn’t going to make this a thing. “Just don’t have sex in the bathroom.”

“We’re not that insatiable,” says Darcy.

“I should hope not.” Fitz nods shortly then says, “Well, I’ll leave you to it. But you should talk to Gigi.”

“I have no wish of telling my younger sister about my sex life.”

“Yeah, but up until five minutes ago, I don’t think she was aware you have a sex life. She probably assumed or whatever, but still. Just apologize and stuff. Don’t leave it, okay?”

Darcy nods.

“I’ll see you tonight then. Have… fun?”

And with that, Fitz left.

“I think I’m going to die of embarrassment,” says Lizzie.

“She was my younger sister,” he says.

“Oh my god, I can never look at them in the eye again,” she moans.

“How bad would it be if we never left this apartment?” he asks.

“Sounds tempting.”

“Too tempting.”

They lapse into silence for a while, collecting their discarded clothes and folding them neatly. It’s an unspoken agreement that through all that happened, they won’t be putting more clothes on. Once all the clothes are off the floor, Lizzie sits on one of the bar stools placed beneath the counter. Darcy leans on the opposite counter so he can look at her. Both their eyes drift to the cake Gigi brought.

“You want to eat the chocolate cake off me?” Lizzie asks after neither speak for several moments. He pauses then looks at her.

“Why is that even a question?”