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Published:
2013-07-10
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2013-07-17
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6/6
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Love and Hate

Chapter 6: Truth and Forgiveness

Notes:

Here it is the fluffy, angsty conclusion...prepare for the feels, so many feels. Also the smut, prepare for the smut and enjoy thanks again for reading and all the support.

WARNING MAN MAN LOVING!

Chapter Text

 


 

 

The alarm woke them from a dead sleep.

 

Tony and Steve leapt from the bed wide-awake in a instant. Without a word Steve was in his room hurrying into his suit while Tony tugged on the closest pants he could find sprinting to the top of the Tower; suit assembling around him.

 

Steve was there seconds later followed closely by the others. Colsoun’s voice coming over the comm, “There’s been an attack on the outskirts of the city, we need to get there and contain it.” Tony was off, the others following in the plane.

           

Dawn was barely breaking when they located the threat; Tony arriving first engaged the rather bizarre looking creatures. The others joining him within seconds taking up battle positions.

 

Tony darted in the sky rolling and tumbling with an ease that always amazed Steve. At that moment however, Captain America however wasn’t having it easy; Tony was too far from him. His concentration was shot, his head throbbing, and heart ached every time the man took a hit. Unaware he was whimpering, he tried to split his attention between Tony in the sky and the foes attacking.

 

“Stark, you better get closer to Cap before he gets killed,” Black Widow snapped as she ducked an attack. Confused Iron Man paused before finally understanding that Steve was paying more attention to him then the fight.

 

Cursing he landed beside the man, “Steve focus,” he growled.

 

The blond visibly flinch at the reprimand, “Don’t be mad at me,” he begged turning to Tony immediately, completely ignoring the foes on the other side.

 

Tony hurried around him blasting them away, “I’m not mad,” he promised huffing, “But we have to get rid of these guys alright.”

           

Reassured with Tony so close, Steve turned setting his jaw, the tension in his body easing as he tossed his shield. All business once more.

 

Iron Man wasn’t used to fighting on the ground, as he was, yet unable to leave Steve’s side he stood back to back with the man gaining a very different perspective of the battle. Usually able to fly out of the enemies reach…Steve Earth bound did not have that sort of luxury.

 

Still even with the issues, they where winning, and as the last of the creatures were taken down by Cap’s shield Tony surveyed the ground. He did not want Steve hit by some weird laser again…not that it could make things any worse.

           

Steve barely winded, glanced around grunting in satisfaction. They had fought well today, and more importantly Tony was fine. Feeling like he’d been apart from the other man long enough he got closer to the shiny suit of metal gently reaching out to touch the covered shoulder. The contact easing his mounting panic.

 

Tony turned to him frowning concerned, the separation anxiety seemed to be getting worse. Steve appeared to need to be in contestant physical contact with him.

           

Finished their own mop up, Clint and Natasha where approaching, “Well that wasn’t the worse we h-” she cut off guns coming up, Clint’s bow close behind. Tony in the process to of turning to see what was happening was blasted from behind. The hit knocking him clear across the clearing, and into a tree. The impact jarred him hard, Tony blacked out.

           

He woke slowly, the pounding behind his eyes, exacerbated by the yelling.

 

He tried to focus, picking out three very distinct voices. “Steve we need to get him to the medics,” that was Clint. The reply however was an inhuman growl and Tony felt himself pulled tightly against something solid.

 

“Steve please…” Natasha sounding worried.

 

Making a decision he called out, “I’m fine, just rattled my head a bit.” He said trying to get out of Steve’s arms.

 

Steve in turn yanked Tony’s helmet off, kissing him soundly. Well used to this by now, the billionaire let the kiss linger on for a few sweet seconds before pulling away.

 

“I’m fine everyone…I’m fine, maybe we should head back,” he offered, trying to diffuse the situation. Apparently Steve agreed, as without a word he stood Iron Man in his arms, carrying him to the plane.

 

The assassins trailing behind whispered together urgently.

 

“I think we need to go hurry Bruce up getting the Cap back, he’s going to get himself killed he can’t even concentrate on a fight,” the Black Widow said looking grim, Clint nodded in agreement.

 

This needed to be fixed before someone got hurt…really hurt.

 

-#-#-#-

 

“It’s getting worse Bruce,” Tony mumbled from his position between Steve’s legs. The big man, as was his fashion after expending so much energy fighting was dozing. Unwilling to release Tony even in slumber, the pair sat together on a hospital gurney. Steve sleeping upright as close to the other as he could be.

 

“You think?” Bruce asked, trying to ignore the glaring dark eyes.

 

“He nearly got his spangled ass handed to him today because he was more intent on watching me then the enemy. He can’t even be three feet from me before the separation anxiety kicks in…and now he seems to have to be constantly touching me.” Huffing lightly from his tired he suddenly slumped righteous anger bleeding from him.

 

Sighing heavily he ran a hand though already messy hair, “Worse then that, he’s not Steve anymore…it’s like he’s oblivious to those around unless it’s me. He’s clingy, worried I’m mad at him all the time…” he trailed off frustrated.  

 

Banner nodded in understanding,  “Nothing matters except you. You’re the centre of his world.”

           

Under any normal circumstance Tony would have given anything to be Steve’s world…but not like this. He was loosing his Steve.

 

“What can I do?” he asked plaintive, “I want him back Banner,” he confessed softly not looking at his friend. Against his back Steve gave a sleepy snort, burying his face in Tony’s hair murmuring contentedly.

 

The Scientist blinked, a sudden realization setting in, goddamn why hadn’t he seen it before? “How long you been in love with him?” he asked gently.

 

The engineer grimaced, he was tired, physically, mentally, emotionally, wearing his heart on his sleeve. “A while,” he mumbled closing his eyes in pain.

           

Bruce’s heart broke for him. He couldn’t imagine...

 

“Love you Tony,” Steve mumbled happily nuzzling closer, strong arms tightening. It was like a stab to his heart, worse then the shards trying to rip the organ apart. He flinched physically.

 

Bruce said nothing, simply reached out patting Tony’s hand. Nothing he could say would make it better. He had no answers for him. All they could do was hope Loki could perhaps fix this situation before things went beyond repair.

 

-#-#-#-

 

Tony sat in his lab listlessly staring into space. Testament to the dark rings under his eyes, the usually vibrant man looked beyond tired.  

 

“Tony?” slowly he turned to the root of his current turmoil. Steve was there, just as he had been this whole week, side-by-side. Only a week since Steve had changed, yet it felt so much longer then that.

 

“What’s wrong love?” he asked gently cupping a stubbled cheek.

 

Tony’s eyes fell closed as the warm palm touched his face, eyes burning, heart throbbing. A tear tracking slowly across his cheek.

 

He was just so tired.

           

Horrified Steve crushed him in a tight embrace, “Don’t cry Tony, please don’t…I love you so much don’t cry.” He mumbled kissing the tears that Tony just couldn’t seem to make stop falling. Even though the words were everything his battered soul wanted to hear, ever dreamed of hearing.

 

 He was done running.

 

With a sob he threw his arms around Steve’s neck, confessing what he’d kept hidden in his heart for so long. “I love you too Steve…love you more then anything,” he whispered mashing their lips together, initiating for the first time.

 

Steve was quick to reciprocate, eager hands gripping slim hips, pulling the smaller man close.

 

Tony didn’t fight; surrendering to the man wholly.

           

Eager Steve stood lifting Tony easily onto his workbench, kisses turning fervent. Somewhere in the back of the blonde’s mind, was that small voice telling him he shouldn’t be doing this…but that louder more demanding voice was telling him this was right.

 

Tony gasped as his t-shirt was ripped off, a big hand palming him through his jeans. Moaning he arched into the palm, why had he fought so long when it felt so incredibly good?  He whimpered slightly as Steve broke contact for a second, tugging off his own shirt. A heartbeat later he was back, devouring Tony completely.

 

Callused hands moved to undo Steve’s pants the material pooling around his ankles. No plain white boxers today; they where blue. The thought flittered through his mind briefly before Tony’s own worn jeans where pulled off tossed across the lab.

           

It wasn’t gentle, or loving; it was hungry and needy. Like a dying man Steve had stripped him bare, Tony falling back on his worktable sent parts and papers flying. Something dug painfully into his back; but he didn’t care. All he wanted was Steve.

 

Hooded eyes watched as the bigger man sucked his fingers, brining the slick digits against Tony thrusting them inside. Wriggling and moaning Tony tried to relax. He was sure there was some lube around here somewhere but he didn’t want to leave. Like some fragile dream he dared not move, worried the moment may shatter.

 

Steve’s fingers worked quickly, he wasn’t wasting time. Spitting on his hand he slicked himself up, his thoughts hazy and unfocused. All he wanted was Tony, he needed to be inside Tony. Ignoring the screaming in his mind for him to slow down. With a smooth thrust forward, he was penetrating the smaller man.

 

Crying out Tony arched his back, hands gripping the table tightly. Caught somewhere between pain and overwhelming pleasure, “Ahhhh.” He bit his lip hard, moaning as Steve stretched him to capacity.

 

Fully imbedded Steve paused panting, staring down at the man beneath him. The truth washing over him completely; he was inside Tony Stark. His heart pumped like he’d run for days, while that tight wet heat, driving him to distraction. Rocking slowly he swallowed the gasps spilling from kiss swollen lips.

 

Tony bit his cheek hard enough to bleed, it hurt, Christ yes it hurt, but the pleasure was fast overshadowing it. He could feel Steve, every inch of Steve as the big man thrusting steadily into him. Dazed brown eyes started unseeingly upwards, feeling surreal, almost detached from the moment. Wondering distantly if this was yet another fantasy cooked up by his desperate imagination.

 

Blue eyes appeared in his line of vision, Steve was smiling tenderly down at him, “I love you.” 

           

Tony choked back the sob as he reached up wrapping his arms tightly around the man’s neck, arching into the next thrust.

 

Steve gripped narrow hips hard enough to bruise, as he snapped forward grunting. Feeling blunt fingernails dig into his back as Tony mumbled incoherently. Without breaking rhythm Steve shifted, and Tony was seeing stars, “Yes!” he hissed.

 

Tony was loosing his mind; Steve was hitting that delicious spot inside him over and over. Colours burst in his minds eye, he felt like a man getting what he’d been craving most. And it was better then any imagined fantasy.

           

Steve grunted movements turning erratic and quick, the overwhelming sensations where driving him to the edge. “Tony!” he gasped, vaguely feeling something painful on his shoulder.

 

Tony bit down on the muscular shoulder muffling his cries of passion as Steve pounded him on his workbench. With a powerful thrust Steve hit his prostrate head on, shuddering he felt his orgasm ripple through him, hot and intense.

 

Steve felt Tony tightening around him; thrusting once more he followed him over the edge, spilling deep inside his newfound lover, “Tony!”

           

Suddenly weak Steve collapsed against him, Tony automatically pulling him close, kissing sweat matted locks. Panting lightly, he rested his head against something cool, and humming. Closing blue eyes he breathed deeply. With each exhale he took, the fog that had settled in his mind began to clear.

 

Confused he slowly straightened frowning, below him a debauched thoroughly sexed Tony Stark looked up at him with dazed tired eyes.

 

With growing sense of dread he looked around completely uncomprehending. Why where they in Tony’s lab? He looked back, realizing they were both all but naked.

 

His mind rebelled.

 

“Steve?” Tony asked softly, the warm afterglow seeping from him, when he saw the look of sheer panic settle on his beloveds features.

           

Steve’s eyes widened to all sizes, when the reality of the situation came crashing down on him. He wasn’t just on top of Tony… he was inside him.

 

Panicking he pulled back, missing the pained wince from the smaller man. Frantically he pulled up the boxers bunched around his thighs. Staggering away he tripped over the pants around his ankles.

 

“Steve what is it? What’s wrong?” Tony was sitting up now, ignoring his own nudity he focused fully on the frantic man. Concern in every line of his face.

 

Steve could see red lips swollen from kisses, bruises already darkening lean hips, love bites littering Tony’s neck and shoulder; his mind piecing it all together. He had sex with Tony Stark…and he had no knowledge of it.

 

Utterly disgusted with himself, he did the only reasonable thing. He ran.

           

Astonished Tony watched him dash away up the stairs. Stricken he couldn’t find his voice. It would appear whatever had been effecting Steve was at an end.

 

Shivering the smaller man wrapped his arms across his arc the light dimming, as his heart broke. He closed burning eyes promising himself he wasn’t going to cry.

 

-#-#-#-

 

Steve hadn’t had a panic attack since his pre-serum days, but he was sure he was having one now. Shirtless, barely clothed, he frantically paced his room running hands through already wild hair.

 

Why couldn’t remember anything? He wracked his brain, the last clear memory he had was the battle, then going down to the lab to lecture Tony. He frowned brow wrinkling in confusion, the next thing he could clearly recall he was waking inside Tony.

 

Slowly he collapsed on the bed, why couldn’t he remember? Brow furrowed he stared at the floor, straining, trying to remember something…anything…

 

A sudden pain lanced through his head, images flooding his consciousness.

 

Kissing Tony in the lab…smiling at him across a candle lit table…cuddling on the couch…

 

Gasping in pain he came back to himself feeling drained and sore. Moaning he clutched his aching head, blood dripping steadily from his nose. Breathing shallowly, he scrunched his eyes closed, trying to center himself again. Swallowing thickly he turned thinking it had passed.

 

The sharp pain flared again; images ripped across his brain. Blue eyes rolled back and Steve collapsed across his bed.

           

Dressed haphazardly Tony sat gingerly on his stool staring dry eyed at his messy workspace. He tried vainly to sort through the events of the last hour, asking himself the same question again and again.

 

Why had he given in?

 

He felt like an utter creep. Steve had looked so disgusted, so betrayed. He buried his head in his arms, self-loathing rolling off him in waves.

 

“Sir,” JARVIS said interrupting his pity party.

 

“Go away,” Tony muttered, in no mood to deal with anything at the moment.

 

“Sir,” the AI said again, persistent.

 

“What?” Tony snapped,

 

“I believe Captain Rogers is having some sort of seizure…he’d convulsing on his bed.”

 

Tony’s head snapped up, panic in every line of his body as he sprinted from the lab.

           

Panting Tony bust through Steve’s door spotting the big man right away, “Shit, Steve!”

 

Hurrying onto the bed he crawled over the convulsing figure, gently patting his face. Wincing at the blood smeared across his face; eyes rolled so far back in his head only the whites where visible.

 

“Oh fuck this is bad...” he was close to panicking. Making a decision he got up quickly, he’d go get his suit and fly Steve to the hospital.

 

Pausing half way to the door another thought struck him, “Wait maybe call Banner…” he turned to go back to Steve.

 

“I can call Banner on the way,” he chastised himself turning again to get his suit.

           

Steve let out a strangled moan, Tony was by his side instantly, “Steve? Steve can you hear me?”

 

The big man on the bed made a low sound blinking, his eyes once more clear. “Tony?” his gasped, horse and disoriented.

 

“Right here, just a sec,” he reassured the man, as he headed for the bathroom. Quickly he dampened a washcloth before returning. Steve hadn’t moved, still prone on the bed, strong fingers slowly messaging his temples.

 

Climbing back on the bed carefully Tony wiped the blood off his chest and face. “You ok?” Tony asked, carefully finishing his ministrations.  

 

Steve moaned faintly, “My head feels like my brain’s been chewed up and spit back out.”

 

Wincing in sympathy, Tony flipped the washcloth placing it tenderly on Steve’s forehead.

           

Task complete an awkward silence descended on the room, Tony unsure if he should stay or go. They hadn’t parted on the best of terms earlier. Nervously he watched the other man out of the corner of his eye; maybe he should go.

 

Worrying a lower lip he nearly came out of his skin when Steve spoke. “Tony,” he said voice sounding plaintive, and pained, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry for the way I acted this week.”

 

The dark haired man blinked, “You remember?” he asked hesitantly.

 

“Not quite just images…they all sort of came back at once.” A frown knit his brow then, as blue eyes blinked confused. Unable to help himself Tony ran a hand though the soft blond hair, Steve moaned.

 

“Sorry,” he said quickly pulling his hand back as if he’d been scalded.

 

“No…no…it felt nice,” Steve sighed, blushing as the tender hand returned to its soothing ministrations.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Steve. You didn’t know what you where doing, it probably had something to do with that ray you where hit with.” Tony explained heart clenching in his chest; that was right, Steve hadn’t known what he was doing. He’d been the one to take advantage of the situation.

           

They where silent again the big blond trying to collect fragmented thoughts, it felt good to have Tony so close to him.

 

Swallowing thickly, Tony decided to address the elephant in the room. “About what happened in the lab…” he started, deciding just do it quick; like a band-aid. “I mean…you don’t, that is to say…” he trailed off trying to piece together what he really wanted to say.

 

Steve opened his eyes looking over at Tony in surprise; the man was usually so large and confident but at the moment he looked so small and defeated. Dark eyes refused to meet his own, and if Steve didn’t know any better he would have said he was blushing.

           

Steve felt the undeniable truth settling on him. The last week he’d been all over Tony. From the flashes of memory he had, he’d acted like an utter degenerate…and Tony…Tony had been nothing but understanding.

 

Steve was completely, totally, and utterly in love with the genius. He had been for a long while now, just too stubborn to admit it to himself.

 

“We can…ummm…forget it even happened,” Tony was speaking again, desolate brown eyes finally looking at him, “Just go back to the way it was before, and pretend this week never happened.”

 

Tony was giving him an out. “No,” Steve said slowly, feeling the hand in his hair pause.

 

“No?” he asked in a bare whisper.

 

“No…I don’t want to forget about this week,” he said firmly, big hand reaching up to grab the front of Tony’s t-shirt brushing the cool metal under the material. Slowly he tugged the man towards him, lips meeting softly, sweetly.

           

Stunned Tony pulled away, dazed, “What…umm…what?” Tony managed articulately.

 

Steve smiled at him softly, “The only regret I have is not remembering what happened in the lab fully…” he whispered tugging the man in for another kiss.

 

Tony didn’t respond right away, still trying to process what was happening. It was several heartbeats before he was returning the kiss fervently.

 

Long seconds later Tony was pulling back slightly, “You mean it?” he whispered against his lips.

 

Steve pulled him down so the smaller man was stretched on top of him pressed from lips to ankles, “More then anything.”

 

-#-#-#-

 

“Banner I have located brother Loki…and have returned with most excellent news!” Thor yelled in his usual exuberant fashion bursting into the lab. Clint and Natasha worried for Tony, had offered to help Bruce in his last ditch attempt to cure Steve. They all turned to him hopefully,

 

“That’s the best news I’ve had in a week,” the doctor said. “He didn’t come back with you?”

 

Thor shook his head, passing over what looked like a scroll, “Nay brother is still serving out his punishment in Asgaurd, but he sent this missive for Doctor Banner.” Nodding the man accepted the parchment, opening it he skimmed the neat writing, a slow smile beginning to form.

 

“What is it?” Clint asked eagerly, peering down at the rows of neat cursive.

 

“The jist of it is, the weapon while rather harmless, is meant to amplify feelings the person already has. Generally in battle, fear, however if the person is afflicted by a different feeling it would amplify that. The only cure, he writes, is to give in to the feelings; usually running from battle.”

 

The lab was utterly silent.

           

“Why are you so happy?” Clint asked confused.

 

Bruce was grinning widely, “Because it amplifies emotions the person already possesses…”

 

Thor was smiling grandly, the other two slow to catch up. “Steven already loved Anthony,” he offered arms crossing, “It just made him be honest with himself.” Clint and Natasha began to smile as well.

 

Bruce chuckled softly, “Good luck Tony.”

 

-#-#-#-

 

They lay entwined in Tony’s too large bed, sleepy and sedate. The billionaire couldn’t remember ever having a marathon like that; his lab, Steve’s bed, Tony’s twice…the shower. He was utterly spent, deliriously happy.

 

Steve was kissing his neck sweetly, running large hands across his bare chest tracing the blue glow. He loved Tony’s light, “When I’m with you I’m never in the dark,” he murmured kissing where metal and flesh met.

 

Tony started, smiling sleepily as he was gathered in strong arms, it had been a hell of an emotional week but in the end he couldn’t be all that mad. After all it had brought Steve to him.

           

“Tony?”

 

The dark eyed man was almost asleep, “Hmmm?”

 

Steve settled a hand over his heart, “I love you.”

 

Tony smiled, he’d dreamed of this moment since that too perfect man had managed to settle firmly in his heart.

 

“I love you too Steve...you have my mechanical heart,” he whispered, knowing it was utterly sappy, but it was ok, because it was Steve Rogers, Captain America.

 

Steve closed his eyes, “I’ll keep it safe.”

 

Tony settled a hand on top of his, “I know you will.”

 

They where quite a moment, “I’ll try not to chase you across the city, or tackle you, or molest you again.”

 

Laughing outright Tony turned in his arms, “That I enjoyed.” They kissed soundly, safely cocooned in the large bed the TV playing quietly in the background, Tony grinning into the kiss unable to help but recall an old saying,

 

Steve paused, “What?”

 

Tony pulled back a bit, “They say there is a fine line between love and hate.”

 

 Blinking Steve grinned as well, pulling Tony into his embrace once more. Maybe there was something to the saying after all.

 

 

End.