Johnny was sweating out a fever, wrapped up in his blue comforter on the bed. His blonde hair was damp, and his body was clammy and slick all over. Every time he pushed his blankets off he ended up shivering and trembling, but he felt like he was boiling with them on. He didn't know which was worse.
"Hey." Jeff crouched down in front of him. He had a glass of water in hand and a soft, disconcerted expression on his face. "Johnny, I called you a ride. Do you want help getting downstairs?"
Jeff was a good kid and a good roommate. He was a sweet omega who could best be described as lanky. He was trying to grow a beard out this month, so his chin and cheeks were covered in brown bristly fuzz. The two of them had known each other since they were kids. Johnny had never had to rely on him as much as he had this past week; today especially.
Johnny got sick like this sometimes, but never quite so bad. He'd been feverish for days. Half his time was spent sitting by the toilet puking his guts out. Jeff kept checking in on him. He would wipe up Johnny's vomit slicked chin and help him back to bed. He even made broth for Johnny to sip down when he was feeling up for it. Jeff was the one who set up a doctor's appointment, and apparently he had called for a driver too. If this fever wasn't melting Johnny's brain he would have been more thankful.
Gingerly sitting up in bed, he reached out to take the glass of water from Jeff and it was blessedly cool in his fingers. "Can you just help me find my hoodie?" Johnny asked in a low voice. He took a few sips from the glass before setting it down by the window.
"Sure." Jeff smiled sympathetically and went to dig around on the closet floor. He knew which hoodie Johnny was talking about, it was a comfy blue pullover that he wore around the apartment all the time. "I'd go with you but I have work." Jeff said from the closet. "I'll wash your sheets before I go, though."
"Thanks, man." Johnny took his time finding some clean socks, slowly putting them on one foot at a time. It wasn't like he was completely incapacitated or anything, but the fever left little motivation for him to do things like get dressed. Still, he managed. Jeff brought the blue hoodie over and even helped Johnny put it on.
Johnny knew he definitely looked like shit. He was sweaty. Neither his gym shorts nor his pullover were clean, but he just didn't care. He couldn't be bothered to clean himself up more than this. His goal was to make it to the doctors office, not make himself look presentable. He actively avoided looking in the mirror hanging on the back of his bedroom door as he left the room.
Jeff walked him to the apartment door. They lived in a two bedroom flat which might have sounded impressive but the square footage was tiny. They didn't need anything big or fancy, just a place to lay their heads at night. Jeff made sure Johnny had his wallet and keys before they left. Together they walked down to the elevator and Jeff let Johnny lean on him until they reached the first floor.
Their apartment building was nice. It was in a part of town that was slowly being gentrified. They had been living there for four years, and over time the pawn shops and check cashing stores had turned to frozen yogurt shops and modern art stores. The apartment building itself was nearly sixty years old, wrought in Art Deco architecture and designs. It was a little worn and torn in places but all things considered it was a good place to live.
For once they didn't have to wait for a driver, a black SUV was sitting outside their building waiting. Since owning a car downtown was so expensive they mostly used transport apps and taxi services to go places, if not the bus. Jeff lead Johnny outside and helped him into the back seat of the car.
It was unusually bright out, and the sounds of traffic were just a little bit too loud. Johnny was all too happy to close his eyes and lean his head against the window as Jeff told the driver where to go. He wasn't giving directions to the usual general practitioner's office, he was giving directions to an urgent care center downtown. Johnny didn't think he was feeling so bad as that, but he also didn't have it within himself to argue. The air conditioning was on in the car and he was starting to shiver.
Johnny woke, not quite sure when he'd fallen asleep. This fever was doing weird things to him. He tried to open his eyes but it was too bright. He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. They were moving, driving somewhere.
"Don't throw up in my car," The driver warned.
Johnny wanted to say that he wouldn't but he just drifted back to sleep. When he woke again they were stopped. The door he'd been leaning his head on was open, and a soft breeze was floating into the back seat of the car. It actually smelled kind of nice. They were in the shadow of a building so it wasn't too bright to look out. They were parked in the circle drive of the urgent care center. Johnny thought that it was farther away than this... were they really there already?
"Buddy, you gotta get out. I ain't carryin' ya." The driver was saying.
"Sure," Johnny whispered, holding his hand up in a way as if to say 'give me a minute'.
His limbs felt like rubber, but he climbed out of the car despite himself. He wasn't so far from the door, he could make it. It was an electronic entrance so he didn't even have to open it, he just had to walk inside. He was sweating by the time he reached the reception area. He walked straight up to the front desk, swaying a little on his feet. He hadn't felt this bad at home.
The woman in scrubs behind the front desk looked at him with wide eyes.
"I don't feel so good." Johnny managed to say before the floor slammed into the side of his face.
Johnny came to in a hospital bed. He blinked his tired eyes, surprised to find he wasn't all that sensitive to the fluorescent lighting. He actually didn't feel too bad. He didn't feel great by any means either though. There was an IV in his left arm, the needle taped into place. He knew better than to mess with it, but it definitely made him worry. What had happened while he was passed out?
There was a green curtain hanging around the bed in lieu of walls. The curtains weren't actually pulled closed though, and a passing nurse stopped in his tracks as he spotted Johnny.
"Hey there, you're awake." The nurse smiled.
Johnny nodded, his head felt heavy.
"I'll let the doctor know and send him in. Just take it easy until then, you're gonna be fine."
The nurse's reassurance made Johnny feel a little bit better. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He kind of remembered hitting the ground and passing out. They must have given him some painkillers though because his head didn't hurt, it just sort of felt like it was filled with cotton. Johnny realized he wasn't wearing his comfy hoodie or gym shorts, he was awkwardly draped in a hospital gown instead. Inexplicably his socks were still on. He was tucked in under a blanket, but he wasn't sweating or shivering.
He opened his eyes to look around again. His clothes and shoes were on a chair next to him. There were different machines and monitors surrounding the bed, but he only appeared to be hooked up to the IV. Just outside the curtain he could see a black and steel wheelchair. Nurses and staff passed by wearing scrubs and white sneakers, busy with their patients and paperwork.
Johnny was left waiting a little longer than he would have liked, but that was the nature of hospitals. When the doctor finally came in it was a rather plain older man with a pristine white lab coat and stethoscope; the whole look. He might have been going grey at the temples, but his hair was wheat blonde, so it was hard to tell. He closed the curtain around the bed to give them a little privacy and smiled at Johnny as he went to grab a clipboard hanging at the foot of the bed.
"Hi there, I'm Doctor Pappas. We found an ID in your wallet." The doctor slid something out from under the clip of the clipboard. He flashed Johnny's ID. "Is this you, John?"
The doctor was standing a few feet away, but Johnny recognized the colors of his state ID. He nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Can I have you verify your date of birth for me?" The doctor asked, regarding the ID.
Johnny wondered if this was to prove he didn't have brain damage from passing out and banging his head, or if this was to prove he was who the ID said he was. Probably both. His mouth felt dry, but still he replied. "May 14th, ‘91. Born in-"
Doctor Pappas smiled and raised a hand to stop him from spouting out anymore. "That's great, John. You gave us quite a scare up front."
"Sorry," Johnny apologized. "I didn't know it was that bad. I actually feel better now."
Pappas nodded his head, marking something down on the clipboard. "Well we've got you on some fluids." He gestured with a pen to the IV. "You seemed pretty dehydrated. Some pain relievers and a fever reducer too. Do you have any allergies to medication we should know about?"
Johnny shook his head. It felt kind of funny when he did, like he was under water or swimming. It would be better just to answer out loud next time, even though his mouth felt so dry.
"That's great." Pappas moved to sit on the edge of the hospital bed with just his hip. "Can you tell me about the symptoms that brought you in today?"
Johnny took a second to swallow before speaking. "Fever," He said, voice low. "Vomiting. General pain, I guess." Mostly it was the fever.
Doctor Pappas hummed, making more notes on the page clipped to the clipboard. "Did you take any over the counter medication at home?"
Johnny slowly shook his head, and it still felt weird when he moved. "No, sir. This happens a lot, Tylenol and stuff doesn't really help."
"So this is a reoccurring illness?" Pappas asked, deep voice lilting a little towards curiosity. "You get feverish like this once a month? Once a year or so?"
Johnny had to think about it. "Couple times a year," He supposed. "But... not like this. I usually just sleep it off you know, take a few days."
Pappas seemed like a good doctor because he actually listened when Johnny spoke and took down everything he said on the clipboard. "Okay, John. How long has that been going on for?"
Johnny thought back. He remembered having to take days off of his last job, but he was pretty sure this had been going on before that. High school. He remembered his mom calling the school to let him stay home. He had to convince her that it wasn't senioritis, and that he was actually unwell. Jeez, how old was he then, seventeen? Eighteen? His head swam a little as he realized just how long he'd been having these stupid fevers.
"Six years, maybe seven," He told the doctor. That sounded pretty bad out loud. What if something was really wrong with him?
Pappas noted that down and scribbled a few other things down too. He regarded Johnny's ID where it was clipped at the top of the clip board. "It says here you're a beta?"
"Yes, sir," Johnny confirmed.
"Your orientation was tested and confirmed by a medical practitioner?" Pappas asked.
Johnny's mouth felt dryer than ever. He took a second before he could find the motivation to speak again. "Yes, sir," He whispered.
"How old were you then?"
"Fifteen?" Johnny shrugged a little, it was somewhere around then. He remembered the exam; just not quite how old he was when he got it.
There was no way he'd be able to forget something like that exam. They made him sit in an OmEx chair, the kind used for the yearly exams that omegas received. He closed his eyes. He could still picture that chair in his mind. They had made him put his feet in the stirrups while the doctor poked and prodded at his cock, balls, and hole. They probed him and everything to get a good look at his reproductive organs.
Johnny still remembered that cold metal probe. It was one of the first and few things he'd ever had up inside of him. He had been shocked to see how small it was after the exam was over because it felt impossibly long and unrelenting while it was inside of him. He frowned at the memory. To this day he still felt bad for Jeff who had to go to the OmPreg Doctor for check-ups yearly, though Jeff didn't seem too broken up about it.
"John?" Pappas gently shook his shoulder.
Johnny opened his eyes. He'd drifted off for a moment there. Not to sleep, exactly but his mind certainly did wander. "Hn?"
"I'm sorry, I should let you rest." Pappas stepped back. "I'm gonna pull your records and go over some things. If nothing comes up, you'll be out of here and back home in a few hours with some meds."
Johnny nodded. That sounded good. He watched as Doctor Pappas turned away but before he got too far Johnny spoke up. "Excuse me, sir. Do you think I could get some water?"
Pappas smiled and nodded, one hand on the curtain. "Sure thing, John. I'll send a nurse in with some." He took his leave after that.
Johnny closed his eyes, letting his mind drift off again.
quick note, the urgent care nurse mentioned in this chapter isn't bodhi.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
When he woke again, exhausted rather than well-rested, Johnny noticed that the lighting was different. It was less authentic somehow, like the sun had set and instead of any sunlight it was only the fluorescents overhead. He blinked a few times and tried to shift or sit up. His body felt so damn heavy. The last thing he noticed was that someone was in the curtained room with him.
A nurse stepped in to Johnny's line of sight, the same one from earlier. He was dark haired and broad shouldered, and he smiled brightly. "Hey there, awake again?"
Johnny's mouth was still dry. "Are you here to bring me water?" He asked in a whisper, knowing the question sounded a little stupid.
The nurse's bright smile faltered for a second before returning with a little more humility. "No, I'm here to administer your enema."
Johnny couldn't even process those words at first. He was still waking up, he couldn't really make sense of anything. His eyes felt so tired, he was squinting out at the curtained room trying to understand. An enema? What did he need one of those for?
The nurse was suddenly beside him. He picked something up from the bedside table and pushed it into Johnny's hand; a water bottle. Johnny looked down at it in confusion. It was lukewarm like it had been sitting out for a while.
"Wait... What? What's-" Johnny was grateful for the water, but he still didn't understand what was happening. He tried to uncap the bottle, but the IV needle in his arm ached when he tried to bend it, and this wasn't exactly a task he could do one-handed.
The nurse realized his mistake in handing over the bottle with the lid still on and quickly uncapped it while it was still in Johnny's hands. Johnny carefully brought it to his lips, sucking down water, spilling it down his chin. It felt so good to drink. He downed the entire thing. As he was finishing the last of the water, he saw the nurse turn his back. He had small cardboard box in his hand labeled fleet enema. He was pulling the contents out. He was serious, he was really here to give Johnny an enema.
"I don't think I need one of those," Johnny said. Now that his mouth wasn't so dry, he thought it would be easier to talk but the painkillers, or sleepiness, were making everything hard.
The nurse looked over his shoulder. "It's alright. It might be a little embarrassing for you, but I do this all the time-"
"No." Johnny shook his head. He was here for a fever, and he was feeling better anyway. He didn't need one. "I'm fine."
The nurse paused. "Did Doctor Pappas explain to you what's happening?" He asked.
Johnny wasn't sure why, but that question made him feel nervous. It was just so foreboding, in a way. "Explain what?" He asked slowly. "I just woke up."
The nurse set everything in his hands down and went to the foot of the bed. He picked up the clipboard where it was hanging there and read it over, nodding to himself. "Yeah, John-"
The nurse looked up and then smiled softly. "Johnny," he corrected himself. "Doctor Pappas is concerned that the fever and vomiting are due to changes in your reproductive organs. You're being sent down to OmPreg for a D.R.E. and probe."
OmPreg? D.R.E.? Probe? Johnny put the water bottle aside to reach up to rub his tired eyes. What the hell did any of that even mean? OmPreg was like the place for pregnant omegas and their newborns. He had no idea what a D.R.E. was but he'd been probed before, during his orientation exam. He wasn't exactly interested in repeating the experience. There was no way his reproductive organs were causing anything, he was a beta. They were dormant or shriveled up or something.
"This can't be right," Johnny muttered.
"Well, we're hoping not," The nurse replied. "It could just be an odd series of fevers, but we need to check to be sure."
"Right now, though?" Johnny pulled his hands from his eyes and squinted out at the room again. "You need to check right now? I don't feel good."
"You're not going to feel any better until we know the cause of your symptoms, and that's what these tests are for," The nurse reasoned with him. He was walking over to where he left the enema bottle, sitting wrapped in plastic on top of an unused monitoring machine.
Johnny swallowed, sighed, and resigned himself to his fate. He was screwed. He thought he was just going to get some meds and go home, but of course it wasn't that easy. The worst he thought was maybe some blood work, but not an enema and a probe. He felt his whole body blanch with fear as he started thinking about it. He knew it wouldn't hurt or anything, he just didn't want to do it...
"Let's get those boxers off." The nurse moved to fold the blankets out of the way.
"What's a D.R.E.?" Johnny asked, distracting the nurse from going any further. He wasn't ready for this yet, he was still exhausted and tired, and his limbs felt weak and heavy.
His distraction technique didn't quite work though, because the nurse continued what he was doing and spoke all the while. "It stands for digital rectal exam." He explained patiently as he lifted Johnny's hospital gown. Digital rectal exam? The words soured in Johnny's stomach. "Can you lift your hips?"
Johnny hesitated for a long moment. He tried to push his hips up, but it was hard. He was fit guy, but he really didn't have a handle on his body at the moment. Apparently, he did well enough because the nurse quickly and swiftly slid his boxers away. He was suddenly exposed. Johnny felt entirely too aware of the gaps in the surrounding curtains and the gaze of nurse. Thankfully the nurse pulled his hospital gown back down to cover his cock and balls, though it wasn't much cover at all.
The nurse turned his back and pulled on creamy white latex gloves next. Johnny watched with a growing knot of dread in his stomach as the nurse went to grab the enema bottle. He tore open the safe plastic packaging and threw the plastic away. He produced a tube of lubricant from the breast pocket of his scrubs and squirted a generous amount of the bottle's nozzle. The nozzle was small, Johnny could see that, but he still didn't want it inside of him.
"Have you ever had an enema before?" The nurse asked.
Johnny shook his head. "No, sir."
"That's okay, it's really easy." He held up the bottle for Johnny to see. It was clear with a slightly teal tinted liquid inside. It was smaller than the water bottle he'd just finished off, but fatter. "It's just a small amount of water that's going to be squirted inside your rectum, via your anus. I'm going to insert this nozzle about an inch, you should barely feel it. It won't hurt, but you might feel some pressure or like you need to go to the bathroom."
Johnny swallowed audibly as he listened. He could feel his body going cold in places, goosebumps pricking up all over his skin. He couldn't take his eyes off the enema bottle. "Okay," he whispered. It would be fine. He could totally do this. It would be horrible and embarrassing, but fine.
"Just turn over on your side, and we can get started." The nurse smiled.
Johnny already felt weak, and he definitely didn't want to move into position to get an enema, but he turned over anyway. It took much longer than it should have for him to lay on his side, but he did it. The back of the hospital gown wasn't tied, and his neck all the way down to his ass was instantly on display as soon as he turned over.
"Good, Johnny. Now pull your leg up to your chest, and I'll take care of the rest."
His legs felt gummy and stiff at the same time, but he followed directions. If Johnny thought having an open robe was bad, he learned that pulling his knee up spread his ass cheeks naturally and now he was twice as exposed. His face started to turn red. He pushed down the feeling of embarrassment and shame to the back of his mind and focused on his view of the curtain, and the IV bag in front of him.
"Okay." The nurses' voice came from behind his back. "Just a little bit of lube." As he spoke Johnny felt cold wetness touch his exposed hole. His mind was a little startled by the sensation, but his body was too exhausted to react fully. He did clench up a little, but that was all.
"Juuust relax," The nurse encouraged him, and sure enough the next second he felt the tip of the enema bottle enter his body. It didn't hurt exactly, the nurse had been right about that, but it felt weird. Definitely uncomfortable. Johnny grimaced. He could feel how thin it was, fully aware of the shape and size.
He heard the sounds of plastic crunching, and then a peculiar sort of suckling, squelching noise that made him wince because it was just so unpleasant. He couldn't exactly feel water going into him, but he felt that pressure the nurse had mentioned. It eventually started to hurt; more than he thought it would. Johnny definitely felt like he had to go to the bathroom too.
"There, you did great, Johnny," the nurse said as he pulled the tip of the enema bottle out. Johnny felt the nozzle leave, and a rush of liquid filled its place. He clenched tight, afraid the liquid might spill out of him. His stomach was starting to churn. He had to go to the bathroom now. "You'll need to hold that for about ten to fifteen minutes-"
"What?" Johnny looked over his shoulder. "I have to go now."
The nurse smiled sympathetically. "I know it feels that way but for the enema to work you'll need to hold it inside of you. I need to go check on another patient, but I'll leave a bed pan here in case there's any accidents. I'll be back in ten to help you to the bathroom, alright? Just lay still and let the enema do its work." He placed the bed pan on the bed, as promised, and left... just left.
Johnny stared ahead of him. His hospital gown was open. His ass was out. The curtains barely provided privacy and he was pretty sure he was going to lose control of his bowels right here in this bed. This couldn't be happening. He swallowed, surprised to feel a lump in his throat.
Johnny let his leg slide down into a more comfortable position, instead of keeping his knee pulled up his chest. It was a little easier to hold the enema that way, but the position change made his stomach hurt. He stared at the IV, watching it drip. He took one slow breath after another.
Johnny used to do BMX, snowboarding, skateboarding, motocross and a few other similar sports. He was all too familiar with enduring the pain of an injury. This was different. It hurt in an entirely unique way, but pain was pain. He knew to take slow, even breaths. In and out. He pretended like he didn't need to evacuate his bowels immediately.
He closed his eyes and he breathed. Earlier he might have fallen asleep, but this time he was awarded no such luck. Johnny had to endure every minute of the enema while fully awake. He was sure it was longer than ten minutes when the nurse finally returned.
"Hey Johnny," he said cheerfully as he pulled the curtain aside and stepped up to the bed.
Johnny breathed a sigh of relief and had to check himself before he relaxed too much and leaked all over the bed.
"Looks like you're doing well." The nurse patted his hip politely. "Let's get you to the bathroom."
"Thank God," Johnny groaned.
He was already feeling sluggish enough, but it turned out holding in an enema made it even harder to move. He relied heavily on the nurse who draped Johnny's arm over his shoulders and solider carried him out of bed. Sitting up and then standing up made Johnny's head spin. His eyes went unfocused. He felt like he was swimming underwater.
“Hold on…” Johnny breathed. He was half off the bed, one foot on the floor, but he was sure he would collapse if he stood.
“Take your time,” The nurse allowed. “I’m the one who got you onto a gurney when you passed out up front. I don’t want you passing out again, you’re heavy.”
If that was supposed to be a fun or funny comment, Johnny didn’t think so. His stomach hurt, he had to go to the bathroom and his head was reeling. He wasn’t really in the mood for laughs. He gathered himself, leaned heavily on the nurse, and stood. Together they walked slowly over to the wheelchair. It would have been three steps but with Johnny’s ass-clenched hobbling it was more like seven.
He sat heavily in the seat of the wheelchair and sitting reminded him of just how much water was inside of his body. He hissed in pain, shifting his weight so that it was mostly on his hip. His gown was open, and he was sitting bare assed in the wheelchair, but Johnny didn’t even care. He just wanted to get to the bathroom. The nurse took his sweet time unhooking the IV from the stand and onto the back of the wheelchair. Johnny clenched up and closed his eyes, refocusing on controlling his breathing.
It turned out being wheeled down the hall was even worse than standing. Johnny’s head was absolutely reeling. He thought he was going to be sick. He would have asked the nurse to slow down if he didn’t want to get rid of this enema so bad. He was grateful when they finally reached the bathroom. It was huge, unisex with rails along the walls and a sanitized smell to it. The nurse wheeled him right up to the toilet…
“Do you want help-“
“No,” Johnny waved the nurse off. It didn’t matter what the next few words were going to be, he didn’t need any help in the bathroom. “I can take it from here, thanks.”
The nurse nodded. “I’ll be right outside if you need anything,” He explained, and left Johnny there in the wheelchair. He closed the bathroom door behind him as he left.
Johnny made it on to the toilet with minimal struggle, mostly by sheer force of will. He had to get rid of the enema. As soon as he was on the toilet seat the water inside of him rushed out in a wet gush. He doubled over, cradling his stomach in his arms. It hurt like hell expelling the water. A myriad of cramps, each more painful than the last, passed through his bowels until he was wrung out and empty.
Just like before he closed his eyes and breathed through it. Johnny hadn’t actually eaten anything solid for days, so the only thing that came out was enema liquid. It felt good to be rid of it though, and honestly once it was said and done, he just sat there sighing with relief for a few minutes before cleaning himself up.
Johnny made it back into the wheelchair, though he was still feeling woozy. He washed his hands in the sink, squinting at the bright light over the mirror. The wheelchair was too short for him to see his reflection, but he could see the top of his head. His sweaty blonde hair was a floppy mess. There was bruising on the right side of his face, up near his temple. He’d fallen pretty hard earlier…
Johnny heard a knock at the door.
“Hey, Johnny? Finished?”
Johnny hesitated for a second but figured with the IV needle still stiff in his arm he shouldn’t wheel himself out. “Yeah,” He called, voice sounding smaller than he intended it to.
The nurse opened the bathroom door and went in to retrieve him. “Everything go okay?” He asked.
Johnny was kind of uncomfortable with the question. It was bad enough he had to endure that stupid enema, he didn’t want to talk about going to the bathroom. He knew it was the nurse’s job to make sure that the enema treatment had worked and that he wasn’t bleeding or anything. Still, he had to beat back his embarrassment as he answered. “Yes, sir.”
Johnny closed his eyes, hoping it would help with the motion sickness as the nurse wheeled him away.
“That’s great,” The nurse said cheerfully. “We’re headed to OmPreg now. It’s on the other side of the hospital, but we’ll take it nice and slow.”
OmPreg… the D.R.E… the probe. Johnny’s stomach twisted with fear, and he could feel himself turn cold. He hadn’t forgotten, but he’d been so distracted by the enema that it hadn’t been on his mind. He didn’t want to do this, but what choice did he have? Hopefully it would rule out whatever was wrong with him.
With his eyes closed it was impossible to know where they were going. Johnny did notice that the further he was pushed, the quieter the hospital became. They were away from the bustle and business of the urgent care area and so there were no more nurses or doctors rushing around. Just the soft rolling of wheelchair wheels on tile and the nurse’s shoes tapping as he walked. They went through one automatic door, and then another.
The halls seemed endless. The lights passed by overhead dim and then yellow, dim and then yellow behind Johnny’s closed eyes. The more he thought about where they were headed the more anxious he felt. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He just felt so sick. He was shivering again, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the fever or his fear.
When they slowed to a stop, Johnny cracked open his eyes. The nurse had stepped in front of him and was pushing the accessibility button on a door. It slowly hissed open, revealing a nearly empty waiting room. It was all silvery and lavender, soft colored and comfortable inside. The nurse slowly wheeled Johnny in.
quick note, this would be the chapter with the aforementioned non-con/extreme dub-con.
also rottinger refers to 'roach' rottinger for anyone playing along trying to figure out how this medfet mess could possibly connect back to point break
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
In the waiting room there were vacant chairs in rows. In the middle of it all Johnny saw a play table for children with multicolored beads on winding wires of stiff metal. There was a very pregnant omega sitting with his bulging belly in his hands. Johnny really didn’t feel well. He didn’t belong here. The nurse parked him in an empty spot by a long purple hallway.
“I’ll let them know you’re here,” He said, stepping away.
Johnny noticed the pregnant omega staring at him. He probably was a ridiculous sight to see. He was half draped in a hospital gown, hooked up to an IV, sweaty and shivering at the same time. Johnny felt particularly aware of his own socked feet. He closed his eyes again, not because his head was swimming anymore but because he didn’t want to be seen.
He was surprised a few minutes later when he felt something on his legs… When he opened his eyes, he saw a lavender blanket draped over his thighs.
“Hi, Johnny,” A new nurse said to him. She was short and sweet with pink scrubs on and her brown hair was in a bun. His old nurse was standing behind her, broad arms crossed. “We’re going to take you back to an exam room.”
His stomach lurched with nervousness, but he kept his composure and nodded gently. The new nurse wheeled him down the hall. She pushed him passed door after door of what appeared to be exam rooms; actual rooms not just curtains. While most of the doors were open, the rooms appeared to be vacant with the lights off. One of the doors was closed and beyond that there was an empty room with the lights on waiting for him.
Johnny felt absolutely ill when they wheeled him in the doorway, and he saw that OmEx chair waiting for him. He thought about the probe, the one he remembered from his orientation exam; long and relentless. He thought about telling his nurses how ill he felt but even if they put this off, he was still going to have to get these tests done regardless. It wasn’t a question of if, but when. It was better just to get it over with.
They wheeled him right up to the OmEx chair. The cushion on it was light purple faux-leather, and the chair itself was shaped for reclining. The metal stirrups were already sticking out at the end. The urgent care nurse helped Johnny to stand, and all but lifted him up onto the OmEx chair. Johnny was trembling. The blanket had fallen off of him, and the OmPreg nurse moved to drape it over his middle. She got to work unhooking his IV and hanging it up on a stand in the exam room.
“Thanks,” He muttered to both nurses, feeling more than a little helpless.
“Johnny I’ve gotta head back to my station but they’re going to take care of you here in OmPreg. They’ll bring you back to Urgent Care after your exams are done, and I’ll see you then buddy.” The male nurse reached out to gently squeeze his shoulder.
Johnny nodded his head. “Thank you.”
“Good luck,” The nurse finished, wheeling the wheelchair out of the way as he left.
Johnny had half a second to breathe and collect his thoughts before the OmPreg nurse returned to his side. She spread the blanket across his body more evenly. Aside from just her actions she seemed to be caring, and nurturing. That was probably a requirement for people working in OmPreg. His feet weren’t in the stirrups yet, just resting over the edge of the chair. She covered them with the blanket, tucking him in sweetly.
After that she went to check his chart. “It says here Doctor Pappas ordered a D.R.E. and a probe exam. Have you ever had either done before?” She asked softly.
Johnny nodded a little, though he felt nervous and sick just thinking about it. “I've had an orientation exam. They used the probe then.”
“Oh good,” She smiled kindly. “How long ago was that?”
She nodded in understanding. “Okay. It’s still the same, not much about the process has changed. The doctor will walk you through everything during the exams so there’s no surprises and I’ll be here in the room with you.”
Just then the exam room door was pushed open. A young-ish looking doctor walked in, tall and narrow with a long face. He was an Alpha. Johnny could tell just by looking at him. He was never really good at telling Alphas from Betas, despite being one of the latter. It just wasn’t inherent in him the way it was in Jeff, or other Omegas. Still, he could tell.
“Evening,” The doctor nodded curtly.
Was it evening? Johnny realized he didn’t even know what time it was. That explained why the waiting room was so empty.
The doctor and nurse met in the middle of the exam room, and she handed over Johnny’s chart.
“John, I’m Doctor Rottinger,” He said, looking at the page.
“He prefers Johnny,” The nurse all but whispered. The urgent care nurse must have told her that.
Rottinger practically waved her off. “Sure. Johnny. Says you’re here for a rectal exam and probe? What’s this, what are you all wrapped up for?”
Johnny wasn’t sure what to make of this doctor or the way he was speaking to him. He might have been a little quicker with a reply but with everything that had happened to him today, and everything that was about to happen, he couldn’t even speak.
The nurse was already moving to loosen the blanket. “Let’s get your feet in the stirrups,” She said to him in a small, soft voice.
Johnny let her move his legs for him. He helped, of course. He didn’t just lay there like a rock, but his limbs were sore and stiff. It was better that she guide his feet where they needed to go. As soon as both of his heels were in place in the cold metal stirrups, he could feel the open air on his backside and he all but cringed. He didn’t want to do this…
Rottinger snapped on a pair of lavender latex gloves. He sat down heavily on a wheeled stool and rolled over to the OmEx chair, situating himself between Johnny's spread knees. Johnny glanced away in anxiousness and no small measure of embarrassment.
He swallowed in surprise when he felt a gloved hand on his cock. Doctor Rottinger grabbed his shaft around the middle and squeezed quickly before doing the same thing to Johnny's low hanging balls. Not only was Johnny not expecting it, he wasn't sure why Rottinger was even touching him there.
His disconcertion was probably written all over his face. "What are you-"
"You're a beta?" Rottinger asked, still fondling his balls.
Johnny frowned heavily. "Yes, sir."
"That's great, Johnny. You're just the right size for a beta," He commended.
Johnny definitely wasn't here for affirmations about his cock size. He didn't even say anything in reply, just continued frowning.
Doctor Rottinger did eventually let go. He held his gloved hand out and the nurse who was now standing at the Doctor's side. She quickly handed him a tube of lubricant. Johnny tried not to shudder at the squelching noise as the doctor lubed up a finger on his gloved hand. This couldn't be any worse than the enema, he tried to convince himself.
"Alright, let's get this show on the road," Rottinger said. "Bare down for me, Johnny. I'm going to insert one finger into your rectum and see what I can feel."
Before he even had a chance to comply with the doctor's instruction, Johnny felt a wet finger nudging against his hole. He tried to push against it, so that the doctor's finger would go in easy. He didn't have enough time. Doctor Rottinger shoved his finger inside despite him and Johnny grunted deeply in response.
"Relax," Rottinger ordered, pushing in all the way up to the knuckle.
Johnny's entire body flinched, and he jerked in the OmEx chair. It hurt. It hurt more than this should be hurting. He'd had an Alpha boyfriend for a while, one that fingered him a few times. It had never been Johnny's favorite thing, but it had never been this painful either.
"I know it's slightly uncomfortable," Doctor Rottinger muttered.
Knowing and caring were two different things though, and the way he twisted his hand showed Johnny that he absolutely didn't care about the discomfort he was causing. Johnny took long, slow, labored breaths. He focused on trying to push back against the doctor's finger, open up his hole and make this easier on himself.
"You're feeling a little swollen here. Let me just inspect your prostate-"
Johnny cried out, body jerking in response as Doctor Rottinger elicited some horrible type of pain inside of him. Thankfully Rottinger backed off, pulling his finger out as Johnny squeezed his eyes tight and tried to regain some composure. A hollow ache echoed throughout his bowels in the wake of the sensation. He knew this couldn't be good.
"Pretty big pain response there..." Doctor Rottinger stated the obvious. Johnny kind of wanted to kick him in the face. "Scale of one to ten, ten being the worst-"
"Ten." Johnny snapped. He'd broken bones, eaten pavement, wrecked his motor bike... He'd felt it all. That was a new kind of pain.
When he forced his eyes back open again, he could feel tears threatening to fall. Not just from how much that had hurt, but from the violation and humiliation of the rectal exam. He was feeling pretty fed up and done with this whole thing.
"This is giving us good insight into what's wrong," The nurse told him gently. "You're doing great, Johnny."
The doctor had wheeled away on his stool, over towards a sink and cabinet on the opposite side of the exam room. One hand he held up, out of the way. It was glistening with lube. The other he used to open cabinet doors.
"Where are the one and one eighth probes?" Doctor Rottinger asked sharply.
"No," Johnny whispered. They were seriously going to probe him? He couldn't. It hurt too much.
The nurse hesitated, eyebrows drawing up with pity. "I-" she turned to the doctor. "One and one eighth? Doctor Rottinger the patient is swollen as you said and-"
Rottinger turned to look over at her. "You're right. He is. We need to look inside and see what's causing that, so we need a one and one eighth probe. He's not a teenager here for proof of orientation, he's an adult. He can handle that size."
The nurse hurried over to the cabinet to help the doctor find the right sized probe, head down, clearly defeated.
Johnny wished he wasn't hearing this. He felt sick. What size were they talking about? One and one eighth? One and one eight what? One and one eight inch? Something longer than one inch? It didn't matter what size, he couldn't take it. That digital rectal exam had been hell, he couldn't handle a probe. It would hurt too much.
"Please," he beseeched Doctor Rottinger. "I don't think I can do a probe exam."
As he spoke the nurse produced a large, sanitary wrapped package from an upper cabinet. She handed it to the doctor and stared down at the floor. Johnny watched in horror as Doctor Rottinger unwrapped the probe from its protective plastic. That was way more than an inch long, it was like four inches. His eyes practically bugged out of his head when he realized that the one inch and one eighth they were referring to was the width not length. They honestly expected that entire probe to fit inside of him, and that his hole would stretch that wide?
"No." He sat up.
"Johnny." Doctor Rottinger looked up at him. "This isn't going to hurt. It'll slide passed your prostate so we can inspect your reproductive organs. It will feel big, but it won't cause you pain like the rectal exam just did."
Johnny couldn't believe this. He couldn't take his eyes off the probe. It was so big. It would never fit inside of him.
"We have to find out what's causing that pain and swelling, or it will get worse," Rottinger warned.
Johnny's resolve sort of crumbled upon hearing that. He felt helpless, as though he had no choice. He needed to know what was wrong with him whether he wanted to endure this procedure or not. Even if he wanted to refuse and walk away from this, he literally couldn't. He was weak and feeble and stuck rooted in the spot. Tears welled up in his eyes again and so he closed them.
"Fine," He whispered, forcing his voice to even out.
“That’s a good boy,” Doctor Rottinger said condescendingly as he slid back into position between Johnny’s knees. He even gave Johnny’s thigh a pat. Johnny really wanted to kick him in the face.
“It’ll be okay,” The nurse whispered to him. “Doctor Rottinger is right, it won't feel like the digital exam did-“
Her reassuring words were lost on Johnny who could only hear the sounds of wet lubricant. He almost wanted to look and see what was happening, but he knew the blanket was draped over his thighs and would block the view. He also knew that if he opened his eyes he really would end up crying, and he hadn’t cried in years. He wasn’t going to lose it now over a jerk doctor and some stupid exam.
“You actually have to bare down this time,” Doctor Rottinger warned.
Johnny dug his heels into the metal stirrups of the OmEx chair. The metal creaked a little under the strain but held fast. He was given enough time that he actually could push. He felt his hole spasm, and strain open; just a little. As soon as he did, the cold wetness of the metal probe filled the gap.
The next thing Johnny knew the breath was knocked out of him and he swore he could feel the tip of the probe all the way up in his guts. He gasped, fingers scrabbling out to dig into the sides of the OmEx chair. Doctor Rottinger had jammed the entire four inches inside of him at once. A split second later his hole tried to clench closed around the probe’s one and one eighth width to no avail. It hurt. Not quite like the prostate inspection had hurt, more of a ripped open sort of hurt. He gasped a few more times. His heart was beating in his ears, head spinning.
“Stop-“ Johnny breathed. He wanted it out.
“Doing great, Johnny,” Doctor Rottinger said between his legs. “I’m just going to squeeze down on the handles and open the probe a little.”
Doctor Rottinger was narrating as he worked, and Johnny had no time to process what he was saying before actually feeling it. He dug his heels in again, face scrunched up in pain, knuckles turning white as he gripped the sides of the chair. He was being stretched wider, torn apart. He could feel a scream ready to rip its way out of his throat and just when he swore he couldn’t take it anymore the stretching stopped.
It still hurt. It hurt like hell. He was panting, trying to keep from shaking. He chanced opening his eyes to see what they were doing. He saw the nurses face through his tears and she was staring between his legs with an expression of… shock? Surprise? Nothing good.
“Doctor…“ Her little voice was a squeak of fear.
Johnny was going to be sick.
“Please,” He whispered. He didn’t even know what he was pleading for, he just wanted this awful probe out of him.
Doctor Rottinger glanced up and then back down. “Penlight,” He said urgently to the nurse who quickly fished one out of her pocket and handed it over. He turned it on with an audible click and Johnny swore he could feel the warmth of light reaching deep inside of him. The doctor sighed heavily, and before Johnny knew what was happening the probe came out.
It didn’t just slide out though, it left a horrible feeling in its wake. His hole spasmed closed and clenched tight over and over again in an uncontrollable way. Each involuntary movement hurt, reminding him of how he’d been forced open a few seconds ago. Deeper within he felt a hollow emptiness and a dull ache. He would be feeling this for days, he was sure.
He was in pain and unwell and now he was starting to feel a little panicked too. “What is it?” he whispered desperately. “What’s wrong?”
The nurse and Doctor traded glances. Doctor Rottinger turned back to him with a terse smile. “Nothing that can’t be treated,” He said ominously. “I’m going to talk to Doctor Pappas and we’ll come to a conclusion together, alright? Then we’ll let you know the diagnosis.”
This was bad. This was so fucking bad. Johnny felt like crying all over again, but for a different reason. How could this be happening? He came in for a fever. He didn’t think there was anything seriously wrong. What if it was his reproductive organs? What if he had cancer? What if it was something worse? He felt like he was going to pass out or throw up. He knew he was sitting still but the world was tipping, and he felt like he was going to fall out of the OmEx chair.
“I… I need to lay down,” He said breathlessly despite the fact that he was already laying down. His eyes rolled back.
Johnny sort of remembered the nurse wiping him up, mostly because the soft tissue against his tender hole had hurt quite a bit. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten into the wheelchair, but he remembered being pushed slowly down the hall. He remembered putting his hand on the wall to stop from moving as he leaned over to dry heave onto the white tile floor. He remembered feeling absolutely grateful when they returned him to his urgent care bed. He remembered waking up again and again, unable to sleep. Panic was gnawing at him, keeping him from finding any rest.
Eventually Johnny forced himself to sit up. His heart was pounding sluggishly in his ears, and he could feel his own heartbeat in his aching asshole, pulsing with pain. That jerk Doctor Rottinger had done a number on him. Johnny hated that guy. He looked around his little curtained room but couldn’t see his cellphone anywhere. He wanted to call Jeff to pick him up, or a driver to take him home. He knew he was sick, but he could wait for a diagnosis.
He made a plan to wait for the fever to pass and then go back to his usual doctor.
Johnny sort of knew this was reckless and ridiculous but he didn’t feel good. He wanted to go to sleep in his own bed. He wanted to hide under the covers and not come out until he was feeling well again. He was done with this horrible hospital and all their exams and enemas and probes. He put one foot on the floor, head spinning. He could do this. He just had to get his clothes and walk out. No one would stop him…
“Johnny?” The male nurse from earlier rushed in through a crack in the curtains. He went to help Johnny before he hurt himself. Doctor Pappas was just behind the nurse and stepped in a moment later.
So much for that get away attempt.
“I’m feeling better now,” Johnny lied to them. “I’m just gonna go home.”
“John…” Doctor Pappas stood right in front of him. “I have some good news and some bad news for you.”
Johnny hung his head for a second before looking up. He didn’t want to hear either. “Yes, sir?”
Doctor Pappas took a deep breath, and then paused. He looked at Johnny very stoically before he spoke again. “Bad news first, I suppose. Thanks to your test results we were able to determine that your symptoms are due to a late onset transition.”
Johnny wasn’t actually sure what that meant. A late transition? Transition to what? He knew that everyone transitioned to either an alpha, a beta, or an omega but that was at puberty. He was twenty six. “What?” This didn’t make any sense.
“The fevers, the vomiting, the internal swelling and sensitivity… they’re all due to your transition to an omega,” Doctor Pappas explained.
Johnny actually laughed. “An omega? Yeah right.”
“Johnny this is serious,” The nurse said to him.
Johnny felt his heart bottom out and his stomach twist. His body fought between burning up and turning immediately cold with fear. They weren’t kidding. An omega? He was transitioning to an omega? How was this even possible? He stared at Doctor Pappas, mouth agape. Johnny was completely at a loss for something to say. He didn’t even know what to ask to begin understanding what this meant.
“The good news is, there’s a treatment facility nearby that specializes in the care and rehabilitation of omegas,” Doctor Pappas continued. “They deal with late transitions such as the one you’re going through. We’ve already arranged for transportation, and they’ll admit you tonight.”
Treatment facility? For omegas? No, no, no, no, no. Johnny wasn’t going there. “I want to go home.” He attempted to stand again, but the nurse stopped him. Johnny looked up at him, and then over to the doctor. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’m going to go home and get some rest and then I’ll talk to my general practitioner-“
“John we can’t let you do that,” Pappas told him. He probably meant to sound authoritative, but his words were utterly ominous. He was dooming Johnny to do something he didn’t want to do.
Johnny panicked. He pushed the nurse away and got to his feet. He was swaying a little and his knees felt like they were about to buckle but that didn’t stop him. He peeled at the tape holding his IV in, wincing in pain.
“I’m not going,” He announced. The nurse stepped up to him and Johnny shot him a look. “I’m not going,” He said again, with more force.
“It’ll be just fine, John. Just calm down and think this through,” Pappas implored him.
Johnny had turned his back to the doctor and jerked to face him again, holding a hand up to keep some distance between them. The jerkiness of his own movements made him feel sick. “Don’t touch me,” He said, fear and anger starting to rise. He could feel both men closing in, encroaching on him.
Another nurse, young and short but stocky, came over to see what all the commotion was. Johnny knew that they weren’t going to let him leave. Doctor Pappas reached out to touch his arm calmingly, but Johnny reacted violently and jerked away. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he actually swung a punch at the urgent care nurse. He missed, pretty pathetically, but he tried. They weren’t going to let him go, so he would fight his way out.
Either the nurse or Doctor Pappas grabbed him by the waist, and then one of them grabbed his arm. He couldn’t tell who had grabbed what. His head was starting to swim.
“No!” He shouted, twisting and squirming away.
The IV needle was tugged free in his struggle and ripped painfully from his arm. He could feel blood and wetness on his skin.
“No! I’m NOT GOING!” He shouted.
The second nurse was getting involved now, putting himself into the mix to try and restrain him. Johnny rammed his elbow into someone's gut, his fist connected with someone else's body, and he fought in earnest.
“We need midazolam! Now!” Doctor Pappas called out.
Someone came running over.
Johnny wasn’t even standing anymore, he was struggling in the weight of someone else’s arms. Kicking, clawing, scratching. He was shouting as he fought. He felt something sharp stick in his shoulder and what little control he had over his body was instantly gone. He blinked and he was on the floor, sitting; drooling. He blinked again and he was half bent over in a wheelchair. He fought to keep his eyes open, but he couldn’t.
Johnny blinked again, and the whole world was gone.
Johnny came to wrapped up in a blanket, strapped to a gurney. He heard a low humming in his ears. He was pretty sure he was moving, but he couldn’t tell. For a half second, he thought they’d locked him away in a box, but he slowly recognized the back of a van. He realized that this wasn’t the first time he’d woken up here. He was drooling. His thighs were cold and sticky with dried piss. He couldn’t keep his eyes open. He closed them, let the blackness wash over him…
A loud bang brought him back, and this time when he opened his eyes the back of the van was open. It was quiet. ‘No’ he tried to say as someone climbed into the back of the van, but some ghoulish groaning noise shut him up. His vision unfocused. The gurney jostled in a way that made him feel sick. When he managed to focus again, he looked up and the night sky glittered overhead.
He heard voices but couldn’t make out the words. He felt his eyelids being pried open wide, and a blinding flash of light passed over each eye. He tried to turn his head away but that proved to be too difficult. The night sky and stars gave way to a paneled ceiling. He tried to speak, tried to say something, but the same horrible groaning noise from before overshadowed his voice.
He heard the gentle tones of an elevator and the gurney passed through silver doors. Someone leaned into his line of sight. Scrubs, stethoscope; had to be a doctor. Johnny looked away. He was fed up with doctors.
“Cᵃⁿ - -- ʰᵉᵃr me?”
Johnny nodded. He could hear. Not well, but he could hear.
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again multiple people were lifting his limp body onto a hospital bed. No, no. Not another one of those. He tried to struggle, but he couldn’t move. The bed cushion actually felt welcoming against his back. He hated himself for relaxing against it, not that he really had a choice because his entire body was lax by default. His comfort was short lived though.
Fingers squeezed his jaw, forcing it open. Someone pushed a cup of pills into his mouth. Johnny didn’t know what they were, so he spit them out. He meant to do it forcefully, but they mostly just ended up on his chin. He actually did manage to turn his head away when a second cup was brought to his lips.
“Help me with him.” Johnny heard a voice say.
Almost as soon as he processed the words his head was being held still. A finger hooked into his bottom teeth, forcing his mouth open. Pills cascaded down over his tongue, and he gagged as they hit the back of his throat. Hands forced his jaw closed. He gagged and coughed but was made to swallow in the end.
“Stop-“ He tried to say. The ghoulish groaning mimicked his voice and he realized it had been him making those horrible moans all along. For some reason the realization brought tears to his eyes. He couldn’t do anything to stop what was happening to him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t reason with those around him.
“Roll him over.”
Johnny was pushed onto his side, and the whole world tipped. His face ended up pressed into a soft pillow. He drooled into the fabric. As soon as he was on his stomach, he could feel hands parting his cheeks. He flinched, cried out, and reached back to stop whatever was happening. He was so panicked, he actually managed to move his arm.
“No, no, please,” He tried to plead, but his words were indecipherable, and he knew it.
His wrist was pinned to the small of his back.
Something smooth and small was inserted into him rectally. He started crying pathetically as he felt it go in. It hurt, a little, but mostly it was the invasion and the fact that he had no choice that set him off. He turned the pillow wet with tears and saliva. He was crying so hard he didn’t even notice when they had turned him back over. Whatever they had put inside of him was still there. He cried harder.
Padded cuffs encircled his wrists. His hands were pulled apart and locked to the rails of the hospital bed.
Johnny cried himself into another black out.
Someone was touching his wrist.
Johnny opened his eyes, and the first thing he thought was how annoyed he was that he kept waking up somewhere other than his own bed. He remembered things in bits and pieces. He remembered pills being forced down his throat. He remembered something being inserted into his rectum. He remembered struggling and sobbing. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes, and he snatched his wrist away.
“Don’t touch me,” He rasped out.
“I’m sorry,” A gentle voice spoke.
Johnny forced his shame and anger back. He blinked away his tears and moved to sit up. It was a little harder to move than he would have liked, but whatever they had drugged him with was running the lasts of its course. He was still groggy and limp, but he had control of himself and that comforted him.
There was a nurse, always a fucking nurse, standing by his bed. He was square jawed with a close shaved beard across his face. His hair tumbled down from the top of his head in dark curls. Johnny had seen his face before. He remembered being uncuffed by him, but he couldn’t recall when. He remembered this guy smiling at him.
“It’s alright,” His voice was so calm, slightly accented but comforting and concise as he spoke. “I’m Nurse Bodhi, I’ve been assigned to-“
“I… I didn’t… I didn’t consent to being here,” Johnny asserted at once. It had taken him a moment to come up with the right words. Something more powerful than just repeating that he wanted to go home. They couldn’t keep him here if he didn’t consent to it, he was pretty sure. That was illegal or something.
The nurse paused and looked Johnny up and down as if trying to understand him. “Okay, let’s take a step back.”
“No.” Johnny didn’t want to get talked into staying like he’d gotten talked into that enema, or the rectal probe. He wasn’t doing this. “I’m leaving-“ He pushed back his blanket and the scent of stale urine made him cringe. He’d pissed all over himself when they stuck him with that needle when he was freaking out in urgent care. He ducked his head shamefully, stilled from moving any further.
“John?” Bodhi didn’t move to touch him, but he did step closer to the bed. “I need you to understand that you’re very sick. You’ve been sent here in your best interest. The transition your body is going through is going to be very painful or cause permanent damage if you try to go at this alone. I want to help you.”
Johnny swallowed. He pulled the blankets back over his thighs if only to hide the smell. He remembered now, all that stuff about ‘late onset transitions’. He still couldn’t really believe it. He didn’t even understand his diagnosis, and before they were finished telling him what was wrong, they had just shipped him off. He didn’t even know where he was.
“What… what is this place?” Johnny asked.
“Point Break Omega Care,” Bodhi told him.
Point Break? The beach? That was three fucking hours from the city. Most drivers didn’t offer rides that long. How the hell was he supposed to get home? Even if the nurse let him leave how would he get back? He was stuck here. He felt violated all over again, forced to endure this care center even though he didn’t want to. The feeling brought back memories…
“They did things to me,” He whispered. “Forced me to take pills. Inserted something... into... into my body.” The memory made him feel ill.
Bodhi nodded understandingly. “I’m actually here to give you another dose of medication. I’ll be happy to tell you all about what pills you’re expected to take. I wasn’t here when you were admitted but I’m sure what they inserted into you was just a diclofenac suppository, used to treat pain and swelling.”
“I didn’t want anyone to do that.” Johnny felt somewhat petulant going over this point again, but it wasn’t fair. They shouldn’t subject him to medical treatments he hadn’t agreed to. “You can’t do that. You can’t make me take pills I don’t want.”
Bodhi nodded. “Okay, John.”
“Johnny,” Johnny corrected as an automatic reflex. He wouldn’t be able to keep this conversation up if he had to listen to this nurse call him by a name that didn’t really feel like his.
“You prefer Johnny? That’s good to know.” Bodhi smiled calmly. “I’m not going to make you take any pills you don’t consent to. I won’t subject you to any procedures or treatments you don’t want. You have to work with me here, though. You have to let me talk to you about the risks and benefits of medication and treatments I recommend. My hope is that you will agree to some of them.”
Johnny sighed. That actually sounded sort of reasonable. He still didn’t want to be here, though. “You’re not going to let me leave?”
Bodhi gently shook his head; a curl fell in front of his face. “Right now, that would be extremely negligent on our behalf.”
“You’re going to do more stuff, aren’t you?" Johnny felt his body turn cold with fear. He chanced a glance at Bodhi who only seemed slightly confused. “More exams, more probes, more …inserting things; suppositories.”
“Eventually, when you’re feeling less pain down there,” Bodhi admitted. “But right now, on the schedule for treatment today? A shower. Rest. Some food. That’s all.”
Johnny was skeptical. He smelled like piss and his entire body was sour with sweat. A shower actually did sound nice. Not here, he wanted to go home and take one. Nurse Bodhi had made it pretty clear they weren’t going to let him leave though. He was pretty wary of what they were ‘eventually’ going to do to him, but he would put up a fight then. Today he would play along and let them take care of him. After all, Bodhi said he wouldn’t do anything unless Johnny consented to it. Maybe he was actually telling the truth.
“I could use a shower,” Johnny muttered in agreement.
“Great.” Bodhi seemed glad and relieved all at once. “I’d be more than happy to wheel you, but let’s see if you can walk it. The showers are just down the hall.”
Johnny would rather walk as well, so he climbed out of bed by himself. His feet hurt when they touched the ground, pain from the weight of standing. His calves all the way up to his thighs were tingling. He’d been sitting or lying for almost a full day straight, but he refused to cave in to how stiff and sore he was feeling.
They had replaced his hospital gown with a new one. It was barely tied at the back, and he knew his backside was visible. He remembered those hands pulling his cheeks apart, inserting the suppository. He resisted the urge to cover himself. His new gown was lavender, the same color as that OmEx chair. He hated lavender. Every omega product in the world was light purple or silver. He supposed it made sense, this was an omega care center, but he would ask for a different gown the first chance he got.
Bodhi extended his arm for support. “I know you don’t want to be touched, but I’ll help you if you’ll let me.”
Johnny swallowed his pride and took Bodhi’s arm. Johnny could feel Bodhi's muscles as he clung on to the nurse's side. They slowly made their way out of the room. It was a real room too, with a door and everything; not just curtains. The hall they stepped into seemed to be lined with similar rooms. The walls were white with silver accents, and the floor was mottled tile. Bodhi lead him to the right.
As they reached the end of the hall Johnny spotted a map on the wall; a thick lined floor plan with large lettering. He was glad it was there, he didn’t want to get lost. Just looking at it and reading the different labels made Johnny feel a little overwhelmed. This place was apparently huge. There were exam rooms? Surgery rooms? Were they going to perform surgery on him? He hoped not. Then again, his last few exams had been hell, so he didn’t want to deal with exam rooms either. He didn’t get a long chance to look because Bodhi was ushering him along to the bathrooms.
The entrance to the bathroom didn’t actually have a door. It was just an open entryway. A sign next to the opening told Johnny what it was, and the tiles on the floor switched from large tile to small ceramic squares. Bodhi lead him in. It wasn’t really a bathroom though, it was more like the locker room of a gym without any lockers. One wall was full of communal showers and the other wall was counter space with mirrors and sinks. There were no toilets or anything. Johnny thought he remembered seeing a door back in his room, maybe that was a bathroom.
Bodhi went to a supply closet to retrieve soap, shampoo and some towels. Johnny waited until Bodhi excused himself from the bathroom before taking his gown off. The handle on the shower was easy to figure out and he turned on the hot water first. He made sure it was warm before stepping under. Johnny sighed with relief. The heat seeped into his skin and bones and helped ease some of his aches away.
Johnny washed his hair first. It was practically crunchy with sweat. He was glad to soften it and clean it with shampoo. He soaped up his body next. His face, his arms, his torso and downward. He scrubbed the dried piss from his thighs, cock, and balls. He got a little dizzy when he bent over, but he managed.
He was actually a little scared to soap up between his cheeks, but he wanted to clean himself there too. He slid soapy fingers back there and touched his hole. He was surprised to find that it felt puffy and weird. It was greasy too, maybe from all the lube or suppositories. He wasn’t sure if it was supposed to feel like that.
When he was warm and clean, he turned the water off. He toweled dry within the shower stall for privacy. Again, he was uncertain as to whether he should dry between his cheeks… he waited until every other part of his body had been toweled off to spread his legs and wipe back there. His hole stung with pain and he winced unhappily.
Johnny turned the towel inside out, so the part that had touched his ass wouldn’t touch his skin. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went over to the sink. Bodhi had left some supplies out for him. He brushed his teeth, combed his wet hair, and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. He was pale and tired. His face was yellow and green in places from when he’d passed out and fallen at the hospital. He frowned deeply.
Bodhi had left a new gown for him to wear, one that didn’t smell like piss. There was a large assortment of garments actually. Some boxers, a pair of slippers, a robe. They were, unfortunately, all different shades of lavender and purple though. Johnny was a little annoyed, but he was grateful to have actual clothes. He put everything on, feeling a little ridiculous in this color. When he was dressed, he wandered back out in the hall.
Bodhi was nearby, talking to another nurse. He lit up when he saw Johnny and instantly walked over. “All finished?”
“How about some food?” He smiled.
Johnny nodded to that too. He didn’t really feel hungry, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten so he probably should try and have something.
As it turned out they were on the second floor and the cafeteria was down on the first. They had to walk down a flight of stairs to get there, and that proved harder for Johnny than he would have liked. Bodhi stayed by his side and helped him when he was feeling wobbly.
The first floor felt a little less like a hospital, in Johnny's opinion. He didn't know anything about rehab centers aside from what he'd seen in tv and movies, but they looked a lot like this. They passed a recreation room with tables and TVs. There were other patients dressed in purple sitting around, playing cards. He tried not to stare. The cafeteria was small and empty. Bodhi lead him straight up to the counter, but there was no food out...
Someone in an apron, clearly in the middle of mopping up, came wandering over with an unimpressed look on his face. "C'mon, Bodhi. Kitchen closes at six."
"I know," Bodhi offered a winning smile. "But can't you whip something up just for me?"
Johnny felt awkward, lingering on the fringes of their conversation. He glanced around. There weren't many tables. There were windows high up on one wall, but they were covered in slatted blinds so he couldn't see out. He would bet that this place looked different at lunch time.
The employee behind the counter walked off, back into the kitchen, grumbling in good-nature all the while.
Bodhi turned his attention back to Johnny. "Why don't you find a seat? I'll bring you the food when it's ready."
Johnny walked to the nearest table and sat. He learned that sitting down hurt a little, and he had to put his weight on his hip. He closed his eyes and rubbed his tired eyelids. His ass hadn't hurt before he went to that stupid hospital. Doctor Rottinger had rammed that horrible probe inside of him and he hadn't been the same. He hoped he would feel better soon. He already had enough to deal with, he didn't need this too.
Something tapped the table and Johnny opened his eyes at once to see a tray of food sitting before him. Mushy peas, gritty mashed potatoes and no gravy, some grey sort of meat and Jell-O. Just what he wanted. He was actually starting to miss Jeff's canned chicken broth... Oh, man. Jeff.
"Can I call my roommate?" Johnny asked, looking up.
Bodhi sat down at a seat across from him and seemed surprised at the request. "There's a phone at the front desk that patients are allowed to make calls from in the afternoon-"
"Please," Johnny interrupted. "I haven't talked to him since they admitted me into urgent care. He's probably worried."
Bodhi hesitated. He leaned back and reached into his pocket, pulling out his own cellphone. "Tell no one I let you do this," He warned before sliding the phone over.
Johnny unlocked the phone and was momentarily distracted by a photo of Bodhi and his friends half naked on the beach as his wallpaper. He clicked through to the phone app and his thumb paused. He had no idea what Jeff's number was. He didn't need to know, it was always just in his phone. Johnny dialed the number for their apartment instead. He stared at his tray of food as it rang. Each ring proceeded another and then another before an automated system let him know the number he was dialing was unavailable; they didn't have an answering machine.
Johnny handed the phone back with a shrug. "No answer."
"That's okay," Bodhi told him. "You can try again tomorrow."
Johnny nodded. He picked at his food. It tasted about as appetizing as it looked, which was not at all. He knew he should at least try to eat though, and so he did.
Bodhi talked to him about how the frozen meals they kept in storage weren't that great, but the food they set out on the line for lunch and dinner was better. He promised he would give Johnny a tour tomorrow and show him everything he would need to see. Johnny was only selectively listening. He was mostly trying not to gag at how gross the food was. He realized he was tuning Nurse Bodhi out because he didn't want to hear any of this.
"When can I go home?" He asked during a lull in their admittedly one-sided conversation. It was negligent of them to let him leave, he remembered that conversation, but they weren't going to keep him here forever were they?
Bodhi seemed a little surprised, because he hadn't been talking about anything like that. "When your transition is complete, you'll be discharged."
Johnny pushed his peas around. "How long does that usually take?"
"Well, that all depends on you," Bodhi told him.
Johnny wanted to roll his eyes as such a cryptic answer, but he refrained. "I think I'm done eating." He muttered.
"Okay." Bodhi smiled sympathetically and took his tray for him.
They took the elevator back up to the second floor, and Johnny was grateful because he wasn't sure he could have managed the stairs. The doors in the hall were all shut up and everything was quiet as they walked back to Johnny's room. He got the definite sense that this place was filled with people, he just hadn't seen them yet.
It appeared as though someone had changed the sheets on his bed while they were gone. There was a silver tray on wheels sitting beside the bed. Johnny recognized the cup of pills they had forced down his throat. The memory made him feel unwell and he went to sit down to keep from getting dizzy.
"I'm not taking those," He told Bodhi flat out.
Bodhi raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Can I tell you what they are?"
Johnny thought about it for a second. He didn't say anything, but he did kind of want to know what they had forced him to take.
Bodhi upended the little paper cup into his hand and picked up one pill. It was oblong shaped and colored blue, sort of see through. "This is just a pain reliever." The next one he picked up was similar and shape but chalky orangish-white. "A probiotic." Next, he picked up two of the same, small and white. "These promote reproductive health." And the last one was small and hexagonal, with rounded edges. "An antidepressant."
Johnny wasn't sure what he imagined those pills were, but none of them seemed sinister. He wasn't sure he needed medicine to promote reproductive health but then again, he was here because his reproductive organs were hell bent on making his life miserable. He didn't need an antidepressant though. He wasn't depressed.
"I don't need the last one. The rest... I guess I could take."
Bodhi smiled softly. "That's great, Johnny. I'll leave them here for you. And if you change your mind about wanting antidepressants, it's something we can discussl" He took the little hexagon pill and tucked it in his breast pocket. The rest he returned to the paper cup and left on the tray. "Would it be alright if we discussed a suppository?"
"No." Johnny's stomach turned with fear. "I'm not taking one of those."
Thankfully Bodhi backed off and nodded. "That's your choice. If you change your mind, let me know." He checked his watch. "My shift ends in a few, and I have some things to finish up. I'll leave you to it. I know you've been sleeping a lot, but some more rest will do you good. I'll be back again at eight tomorrow and we can talk about transition treatments then."
Johnny sighed and nodded. He supposed that was inevitable.
"A nurse will be in to check on you while I'm gone. If you need anything let them know."
Johnny didn't know any of the other nurses, he wasn't sure how he felt about one checking in on him. What if it was one of the nurses who had admitted him? One of the ones who pinned him down and forced a suppository into his body. He hated remembering it, it made him feel helpless and weak all over again.
"No one's going to touch me, are they?" Johnny asked, hating how he sounded when he said it. "No one's going to sedate me me?"
"No, Johnny," Bodhi promised. "I'll leave a note for the night attendant and let him know you're to be left alone unless there's an emergency." He smiled kindly and left after that.
Johnny sat on the bed for a while. It was surprisingly quiet. Sometimes he could hear people walking through the hall passed his door, but there weren't really any other noises. His stomach felt a little unwell. He realized, eventually, that it was the food he'd eaten. He wasn't really good at keeping down anything solid, lately. He got up and explored his room. One of the wooden doors lead him to a supply closet with things like extra clothes, a bed pan, some other useless items. Another door lead him to a tiny bathroom with no shower or mirror just a toilet, a sink, and some walls for privacy.
Johnny got down on the floor and sat in there for a while. The unwell feeling rose and rose in his stomach until he puked up his dinner. It wasn't so bad. He hadn't eaten that much. It actually felt kind of good to force it out of his stomach, even if it tasted sour and bitter. He wiped his chin with toilet paper and left the bathroom smelling like vomit.
He wandered over to the bed and contemplated taking the pills. He looked at all of them one more time. They might make him feel better. The better he felt the sooner he'd be out of here. He took them after all, swallowing them down with a sip of water from a nearby water bottle.
After that he went to the window. He pulled open the blinds and was surprised to see the beach. It was a ways away, but he could see it clearly. He leaned against the window sill and watched the waves crash. It was night time, so the sea looked black and the sand looked grey. He'd never actually been to Point Break beach before, despite only being a short drive away. He wished this wasn't his first time seeing it.
The door to Johnny's room opened and he nearly jumped out of his skin. The nurse was just as surprised to see him. "Sorry, most patients are in bed by now," He said before excusing himself and closing the door behind him.
Johnny left the blinds open but went back to the bed. He got in and laid down, curled up on his side. He felt pretty achy and exhausted. This whole ordeal was taking a lot out of him. He laid and stared out the window. He couldn't see the sandy beach from his bed, but he could see the waves churning in the distance. He stayed up for a while longer watching them. He thought about all that was happening to him, the transition and the fact that he was turning into an omega. He still couldn't really believe it. He had a hard time understanding what this was all going to mean for him.
Eventually his thoughts drifted off and he fell asleep. He wasn't sedated, he didn't pass out, he went to bed and it felt nice to get some real rest.
The sun woke Johnny. He'd left the blinds on his window open, so it came pouring in. He sat up in bed and looked out the window. The waves were blue instead of black. The horizon was actually really pretty, and he could see fluffy clouds in the sky.
He wasn't sure if he was supposed to go anywhere or do anything, so he just stayed in bed. His head felt better, and his fever had definitely receded. His ass still hurt, but he could blame Doctor Rottinger for that. He wondered if his hole was still puffy and tender. He thought about going to the bathroom and wiping just to find out, but before he could even complete that thought the door to his room opened. It was nurse Bodhi.
"Good morning," He greeted Johnny all too cheerfully. His hair was in a neatly pulled back bun. He was wearing grey scrubs and he had some papers with him. The first thing he did was toss Johnny a breakfast bar.
The breakfast bar looked good, but Johnny didn't want to barf it up. "Actually..." He hesitated to mention this, but he didn't want Bodhi forcing him to eat. "I vomited last night. I feel better now but I don't really want to..." His thought trailed off. He set the breakfast bar aside.
Bodhi's demeanor shifted to something more serious as he moved to Johnny's bedside. "That's right, they included that in your entrance forms. The vomiting. I should have given you something for the nausea, that's my mistake. I promise we'll take care of that today."
Johnny was a little flustered by the immediate care and concern. He just nodded. "Uh, okay."
"Is now a good time to discuss treatment options?" Bodhi asked him. "Or would you like to relax a little and wake up some more first?"
"I was thinking about it last night," Johnny said, feeling a little awkward. "I.. can't I just stay a beta?"
Bodhi pulled up a chair, a wooden one with stiff plastic cushions that had been in the corner of the room until now. He crossed one leg over the other and really thought for a moment before he replied. "Johnny, you never were a beta. You were misdiagnosed during your orientation exam."
Johnny frowned. He hadn't really thought it like that. It didn't really feel like that. "So, what, I'm just supposed to transition into an omega just like that? At twenty six?"
"Yes." Bodhi nodded.
Johnny didn't know what to make of that answer. It wasn't that easy. It didn't feel that black and white.
"You told the urgent care doctor you've been having fevers with vomiting for over six years," Bodhi said, referring to some of the papers he had brought with him to make sure he got that fact right. He glanced up and stared at Johnny directly. "This isn't just something that was decided in the hospital last night, this is something your body has been trying to tell you to do for years."
That realization put a lump in Johnny's throat. "I don't want to be an omega," He whispered.
Bodhi's body language softened with sympathy. "I know it's a big change, but-"
"Can't I just transition into a beta instead of an omega?" Johnny asked. "Trans-orientation is a thing. I just- I don't want to be an omega."
Bodhi sighed softly, more in sadness than anything else. "It's not that simple," He said. "Trans-orientation is for those who have completed transitions and have healthy fully-oriented bodies. You're very sick, Johnny. You need to complete your transition and begin to heal before there can be any talk about converting you into a beta. It's a risky process, and it doesn't always work."
Johnny felt his options being taken away one by one. He was starting to feel doomed. "Can't I stay the way I am now?"
"Sick?" Bodhi asked him. "Feverish? In pain?"
Johnny shrugged, looking away. "It's not so bad," he muttered. It wasn't really. Until he had gone to the hospital it was just a lot of shivering and sweating and sometimes puking every once in a while.
"You know that's not true," Bodhi gave him a look. "Yesterday, you passed out because of these fevers. What happens the next time you get sick? What if you pass out, hit your head, and cause permanent damage? What if your temperature spikes out of control and a fever kills you?" Bodhi paused letting those words sink in. "You need to transition."
Johnny put his face in his hands. His skin felt hot. He could no longer ignore the lump in his throat and he felt a burning behind his eyes. No, he couldn't cry. Not again. No fucking way. He wasn't a crier, and they had already reduced him to pathetic sobs once. He wasn't going to do it again.
He just didn't want to be an omega.
Why was this happening to him?
"Can you... Can you give me a minute?" He whispered into his palms.
Bodhi hesitated. Johnny heard the sounds of the chair scraping back. "Sure. I'll go check on some anti-nausea medication. I'll be back in a few."
As soon as he was gone, Johnny let out a frustrated sob. He didn't let any tears escape, but he allowed himself one tiny cry of anguish in order to stifle all the others. His face twisted and contorted against his will into a pathetic expression of someone about to burst into tears, but he choked it all down.
He was fine. He was going to be fine. He would rather die than transition, but it was all going to be fine. Johnny Utah; Omega. That was his life now. It was a pile of shit, but it was his only fucking option.
Bodhi came back all too soon. Johnny scrubbed his face with his hands and sat up a little too straight.
"Here," nurse Bodhi handed over a cup of pills. The hexagonal antidepressant was missing, and there was a new circular white pill in its place. The anti-nausea medicine, Johnny supposed. He downed it all with some water and steeled his nerves.
"How are you feeling?" Bodhi asked him.
"Fine," Johnny lied, his voice was a little too flat but at least it wasn't on the verge of breaking.
"Do you want to try and get breakfast, or-?"
Johnny shook his head. He remembered their conversation from yesterday. He remembered asking what kind of stuff they were going to do to him; more exams, more probes. Bodhi's answer had been that they weren't going to do it any time soon but 'eventually'. Johnny had already gotten the worst news of his fucking life, might as well pile it on.
"I want to know about the transition treatments," he said plainly.
Bodhi nodded and sat down in the chair again. "Alright. The first thing we'll need to do is reduce the swelling in your prostate."
Johnny swallowed nervously. He remembered how painful it was when Doctor Rottinger had touched it. "No." He shook his head. Bodhi said he wouldn't do anything to him Johnny didn't consent to. He had promised that yesterday. "I don't want anyone else touching that."
"No, no," Bodhi agreed. "The OmPreg Doctor who saw you yesterday said your pain response was a ten? I wouldn't dream of trying anything that would hurt you. We'll introduce some external stimulation at first to try and relieve some of the pain."
Johnny didn't really know what that meant. External was good though, it was the opposite of internal. That probably meant no one would stick anything inside of him. That was fine. "Will it hurt? And I mean like will I feel 'pressure' or a 'slight sting' or whatever code words you guys use for pain?"
Bodhi laughed gently, not at Johnny's expense but in an almost self-deprecating way. "It'll feel odd. Causing more pain isn't going to fix the problem though, is it? The goal is to be as efficient and painless as possible."
Johnny supposed that sounded okay. He still didn't want anyone messing around down there, but he did want it to stop hurting so much. They were giving him pain killers so he could only imagine what his ass would hurt like without them. Maybe some relief would be good...
"What else?" He asked. "What else do I have to do for my transition?"
"We'll need to start giving you hormones. They'll be injected into you twice daily to kick start your body’s own hormone production."
Johnny nodded. "What else?"
"We'll coax your body into creating mucus, or slick as its more commonly referred to."
Johnny frowned. He had sort of forgotten that omegas got wet and stuff. He didn't really want that to happen to him, it sounded gross. "How do you do that?"
"We - painlessly - introduce some friendly bacteria into your anal passage, rectum, and colon," Bodhi explained.
That really sounded gross. "What kind of bacteria?"
"A microscopic strain specially developed to help dry omegas," Bodhi explained patiently.
That didn't really answer any of Bodhi's questions, but he nodded. Maybe they would put it in his food, or it would be another pill to take. He was already taking a probiotic, what was one more?
"When you're no longer swollen or in pain, and when you can produce your own slick, we'll induce a heat."
Fuck. Heats. Johnny felt sick. He didn't want to go through one of those ever. "What?"
"It's completely safe," Bodhi assured him. "You'll be moved to a secure ward, and you'll be assisted throughout the entire process via stimulation and alpha pheromones."
Johnny really didn't want to do that. "When?"
"Whenever the swelling has gone down, and your body has started to produce hormones and mucus. Probably in a few weeks, if everything goes according to plan."
A few weeks? That was way too soon. In a conflicting thought, he realized he wanted to be home before then. Johnny blanched a little. "Can't I wait to go through heat once I have an alpha or something?" Ugh god. He didn't want to be one of those starry-eyed mated omegas, but at the same time he didn't really want to go through a heat in the hospital.
"Johnny, an omegas first heat is what marks their transition. If you don't experience a heat, your transition won't be complete."
So, it was a requirement. Great. "Is that it then? I'll be done?"
Bodhi smiled. "Well, depending on if you want to bare children-"
"I don't," Johnny said at once. He'd never thought about it before that second, but he didn't want to be an omega at all much less a pregnant one.
"That's fine," Bodhi assured him, which was not the usual stance anyone took on omegas and pregnancy. "It's your choice but if you do decide you're interested in pregnancy we'll do what we can to make sure your reproductive organs are operational."
"...and then I can go home?" He asked.
"And then you can go home," Bodhi promised him.
Johnny took a deep breath, recapping it all in his head. Swelling, hormones, mucus, heat, reproductive whatever. A few weeks? He could do this. He'd get better, he'd be an omega for a while, but he'd get better. Then he would go home and find a doctor to help him become a beta and he would leave all the memories of this omega care center behind him. It would be horrible, and he would hate every second of it, but it would be fine.
"Swelling..." He said again out loud. "We have to work on that first?"
"That's right," Bodhi nodded.
Johnny didn't really want to do this, but he sighed and gave in. "Okay. Let's get it over with then."
Bodhi sat up a little. "Now?"
Johnny shrugged. "Do you have anything better to be doing?"
"Usually I start my patient's day off with a base body temperature and an enema-"
Johnny's body turned hot. "No." No enemas. "You said external stimulation. You're not putting anything inside of me."
Bodhi held up his hands in defense. "Alright, Johnny. Alright. I didn't mean to upset you. I won't do anything you’re not comfortable with."
Johnny had to take a second and recover himself. The idea of taking an enema just then had truly upset him. "What’s base body temperature?” he asked.
“Well… it’s just that taking a rectal temperature is more accurate.” Bodhi saw the way Johnny’s eyes widened and instantly made it clear he wasn’t going to try that. “I’m more than happy to do it orally, though.”
Johnny couldn’t believe this. He’d spent his entire life only getting that one probe, and now they couldn’t stop trying to put things up his ass. He was grateful nurse Bodhi was willing to work with him though.
Bodhi stood up and disappeared into the supply closet, the one with gowns and the bedpan that Johnny had discovered from last night. He came back with a thermometer and handed it over. “Under your tongue for a few minutes, alright? I’m going to step out and grab some supplies and when I come back, we’ll start treatment for today.”
Johnny’s stomach bottomed out because he wasn’t sure he was ready for any of this, but he nodded. He took the thermometer and put it in his mouth, watching as Bodhi left. He was really starting to wonder what external stimulation meant. Bodhi had said it would feel odd. Odd wasn’t really a good thing, was it? Maybe he should convince Bodhi to wait till after breakfast…
When Bodhi came back, he was wheeling a cart with him, a squeaky metal one. Johnny tried to see what was on it, but Bodhi blocked the view of it entirely by walking up to take the thermometer from Johnny’s mouth. He frowned a little when he looked at it and went to touch the backs of his fingers to Johnny’s head. Johnny jerked back, and Bodhi stilled himself.
“I’m sorry. May I touch your forehead?” Bodhi asked, seeking permission.
Johnny nodded gently and felt Bodhi’s fingers touch his skin.
“Still warm…” He tsk’d his teeth. “Alright. I’ll keep an eye on that.”
He set the thermometer aside and turned back to the cart. He had his back to Johnny and his body was still blocking the view. Johnny started to get nervous. He didn’t feel good.
“Can you just… can you tell me what you’re going to do?” Johnny asked, trying to keep his panic out of his voice. He thought of Doctor Rottinger narrating all his violations as he was doing them and that didn’t make him feel any better. “Before you do it, I want to know what’s going to happen.”
Bodhi turned back to Johnny and eased his nerves with a gentle smile. “Of course,” he promised. “Of course, I will. There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll go over everything and then we’ll begin.”
Johnny sighed with relief, but it didn’t stop the fear and anxiousness from twisting around in his gut.
“I’m going to have you take lift your gown and remove your boxers,” Bodhi explained. “Then I'll have you spread your legs.” He turned to the cart and picked up a round little object. Johnny’s heart leapt into his throat and he was terrified for a minute it was going to be inserted inside of him despite all this external stimulation he’d been promised.
“This is an OmEgg.” Bodhi told him. “I’m going to press it right against your perineum, do you know where that is?”
The question probably would have sounded condescending from anyone else, but with nurse Bodhi it was like he was genuinely asking. Johnny numbly nodded his head. That was close to his hole, but not quite.
“It’s going to vibrate. Would you like to feel?”
Johnny wasn’t sure…
Bodhi held out his hand, implying that he wanted to take Johnny’s in his own. Johnny hesitated a moment before holding his hand out too, resting his knuckles in Bodhi’s palm. Bodhi touched the OmEgg to Johnny’s finger tips and pressed a button. It started buzzing. He frowned a little.
“It’s not going inside me, right? Just nearby my...” Johnny felt kind of weird saying a specific word out loud, so he trailed off. He just needed to know for sure.
“That’s right.” Bodhi promised. He clicked the OmEgg off. “I’ll hold it there and apply some very light pressure. If it’s painful in any way for you, I’ll ease off. With my other hand I’m going to press down on certain places on your lower abdomen. Again, nothing painful. Just light pressure. Does that sound alright for you, Johnny?”
Johnny chewed his lip. He didn’t really want to do this. “…Fine, I guess.”
Bodhi smiled. “Alright. Take your boxers down for me and we can begin.”
As Johnny shifted on the bed, sliding out of his underwear, Bodhi turned his back to Johnny and regarded the cart again. Johnny angled his head to watch as the nurse pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Thankfully they were the regular creamy white ones and not the humiliating lavender ones that Doctor Rottinger had worn. Bodhi slid a protective sleeve over the OmEgg. It reminded Johnny of a condom, only not because condoms didn’t really come in that size or shape.
His stomach roiled as he laid back, but Johnny knew it was just nervousness and not sickness. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. He couldn’t believe he was letting this happen to him.
“Can you spread your legs for me?” Bodhi asked.
Johnny felt his fingers trembling and quickly curled them into fists at his side. He spread his legs as requested, ankles on opposite sides of the bed. His thighs fell apart and he felt his soft cock fall between them. Bodhi carefully folded back his gown, and Johnny had to look away due to sheer humiliation.
“I’m just going to adjust the position of your penis,” Bodhi explained as he gently lifted Johnny’s cock by the shaft and moved it out of the way. “And now your testicles.” As he lifted them Johnny clenched his fist. He was exposed again. “You’re looking a little red back here, more than usual. Is it painful at all?” Bodhi added, referring to Johnny’s puffy hole.
“…a little,” Johnny whispered, embarrassed and ashamed.
“I’ll be careful,” Bodhi told him. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He nestled the OmEgg right up underneath Johnny’s balls. The smooth, round surface pressed right against the soft skin of his perineum. It felt a little weird to have something touching him there, and he knew it was going to get weirder.
“Just relax, Johnny. I’m going to turn the OmEgg on.”
A second later and Johnny heard the click. He felt as soon as he heard; an inexplicable vibration that permeated through his skin, deep inside of him. The buzzing noise that accompanied the vibrations seemed to be an afterthought. Uncomfortably enough, it was his balls that got the most of it. He flinched, reaching down to lift them out of the way in a natural reaction. Bodhi turned off the egg at once upon seeing his response.
“My nuts,” Johnny blurted. “You’re buzzin’em off.”
Bodhi actually laughed, but it was a kind laugh. He wasn’t laughing at Johnny. “Let me lift them out of the way, just keep your hands at your sides.” He said.
Johnny wanted to do it himself, but he forced his fingers back into fists at his sides just as Bodhi had asked. He felt a gloved hand carefully cup his sack, lifting it out of the way.
“Alright, I’m going to turn the OmEgg on again,” Bodhi informed him fully before doing it.
Johnny was expecting it this time, but it was still as weird. He could definitely feel the vibrations in his hole. It wasn’t bad, it didn’t hurt. He just sort of wished he wasn’t feeling it. He could feel the vibrations inside of him too, making his swollen insides buzz. That didn’t hurt either.
“I’m going to apply some pressure,” Bodhi told him. He was good about saying everything before he actually did it, and for that Johnny was grateful. The egg pressed a little harder against his skin, and Johnny could definitely feel it in his prostate. He gasped gently. It was like wiggling a loose tooth, just on the verge of pushing too hard and causing pain.
“Are you doing alright, Johnny?” Bodhi asked.
Johnny swallowed thickly. “It’s weird…”
“I’m going to press down on your abdomen, alright? There should be a release of prostatic fluid, you’ll know it when you feel it.”
Johnny looked at Bodhi anxiously. “What’s it going to feel like?” he asked, a little afraid.
Bodhi considered for a second. “A patient once told me it was like cracking his knuckles. Just a little pop and release. It won’t hurt. Is it alright if I press down with my fingers?”
Johnny was scared, but he nodded.
Bodhi pressed two gloved fingers to the smooth skin just above Johnny’s pubic hair. When he pushed, he pushed with a sort of downward motion. It was hard for Johnny to understand what he was feeling, but it was almost like his inner walls were pushing against one another. It ached a little, and before he knew it Johnny felt the pop and release. Fluid oozed out of his cock and he panicked.
“What was that?” He wanted to cover himself, to hide what had just happened.
“It’s okay,” Bodhi told him. He pulled the OmEgg away and turned it off. “That was the release of the prostatic fluid. This is just the end result of prostate stimulation. It’s what we wanted to happen.”
Johnny looked down. His cock was still limp. The fluid looked like jizz though. He frowned. He couldn’t believe that had just happened in front of a nurse. As he was suffering through his shame, Bodhi leaned in to wipe up the release with gloved hands and a tissue, as if Johnny couldn’t have wiped it up himself. He burned red hot with embarrassment.
“Are you alright, Johnny?” Bodhi asked him.
Johnny thumped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. “Sure.”
Bodhi hesitated for a second before gently patting him on the thigh. “You did really well. I know it’s a little uncomfortable, but this is going to directly result in less swelling. You’ll be feeling better in no time.”
“Great,” he whispered, wanting to shove his gown down past his thighs and cover himself.
“Are you ready to go again?”
Johnny opened his eyes at once. “Again?”
Bodhi nodded. “We should be able to elicit about two or three more releases like that.”
Johnny’s eyes went wide. “We have to do that again? I have to come all over myself in front of you again? Three more times?”
“It’s not… ejaculate, Johnny. It’s a r-“
“Release of prostatic fluid. I get it. Fine. Go again,” Johnny made fists out of his hands and squeezed his eyes shut.
Bodhi stimulated him with OmEgg twice more. He pressed down on Johnny’s pubic area in different places. Johnny jerked and squirted fluid on himself each time. Thankfully he never felt any pain. A sort of dull ache, but that could have just as well been a residual feeling from Doctor Rottinger's one and one eighth probe as it could be because of stimulation. When they were finished, he felt a little wrung out, but he expected it was more from the humiliation than anything else.
He was trying to block everything out when he felt Bodhi gently touch his hip. “Johnny… Is it alright if I do a visual inspection of your anus?”
Johnny frowned. Apparently, this ordeal wasn’t already embarrassing enough. Bodhi had already looked at it and commented about it earlier, might as well do it again. “Fine.”
Bodhi reached between his legs and pushed down on some of the bulge of Johnny’s thighs in order to better see his hole. After a moment he spoke up. “Are you dead set against me administering a suppository? It could be extremely beneficial to the obvious painful redness I see here.”
Johnny swallowed. Bodhi's tone concerned him, it made him really worry. He remembered wiping himself in the showers yesterday. He wondered if it was really bad back there. He didn’t want anything inside of him, but he also didn’t want to feel any pain there anymore.
“…I don’t… I don’t know.” He wasn’t sure.
Bodhi walked over to the silver cart and picked something up. He showed it to Johnny. It was a foil wrapped pellet. Bodhi popped it out of the packaging and showed Johnny how small it was. “This is coated in Vaseline. It’s nice and slick. You may feel it entering your rectum, but it shouldn’t hurt.”
Johnny didn’t want to, but he did want to feel better. He thought of being pushed on to his stomach, and his hand pinned behind his back. Tears welled up in his eyes.
“Just… please, be careful,” he whispered.
Bodhi softened all at once. “I will,” he promised. “I won’t hurt you, I swear. This will make you feel better.”
Johnny sniffled but refused to actually cry. “Let me roll over.”
Bodhi let him. Johnny got to his side and hesitated, stifling a cry. He pulled his knee up to his chest and squeezed his eyes. He felt so vulnerable like this. Don’t hurt me, He thought. Please, God, Don’t hurt me.
“That’s great, Johnny. That’s just great,” Bodhi praised him. He gently rested a hand on Johnny’s hip. “Just relax. I’m going to let you feel the suppository.”
He pressed it to Johnny’s swollen hole, and Johnny could feel it there threatening to enter. He let out a pathetic noise. He pushed, the way he knew he was supposed to, and hated the way he heard Doctor Rottinger's voice in the back of his mind telling him "you have to actually bare down this time."
“Good,” Bodhi said softly. “I’m going to insert it now.”
The next thing Johnny felt was the greasy suppository resting just inside his anus. He clenched down on it and it seemed to melt within him. He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes tighter, fighting with every fiber of his being not to cry. He heard Bodhi snap his gloves off, and a comforting hand touched his shoulder. Another folded his gown down, awarding Johnny some much deserved privacy.
“You did so well, Johnny. Thank you, so much for trusting me.”
His kind words just made Johnny feel like crying even more and it took everything for Johnny to hold it together. Bodhi stood behind him, gently touching his shoulder for a few moments longer before he went to clean up.
Johnny pulled the blankets up around him. He could feel that suppository inside him. He could feel hands pushing him down spreading his cheeks. He could feel his arm being pinned. He forced the horrible memory from his mind as quickly as he could, not wanting to feel those things again.
“How are you feeling?" Bodhi inquired innocently after a few minutes.
"I just want to rest right now," Johnny breathed.
Bodhi let him.
Johnny laid curled up in bed. His thighs were starting to ache from being so inactive lately, but he didn't want to move. He stayed under the covers and stared at the window, watching the slow crawl of the sun as it passed by. He couldn't stop thinking about that stupid OmEgg treatment. He replayed it over and over in his head, recalling how embarrassing it was each time he released on himself. Nurse Bodhi had watched the whole thing.
He didn't feel any better. He didn't feel dizzy or sweaty anymore, so he guessed he had improved some, at least regarding his fever. He supposed he had never been able to tell that his prostate was swollen before. He wouldn't really know what it would feel like if it wasn't. A couple of times he thought about reaching under the blanket, sliding his hands between his cheeks and seeing if the suppository had helped his hole. He didn't want to think about it though, so he didn't end up doing that. He just laid there.
It must have been around noon when Bodhi returned with a gentle knock on the door. Johnny sat up just to make it look like he hadn't been laying in the same spot all day.
"Come in..." He called softly.
Bodhi was wheeling a silver tray. Johnny looked at it and saw a box of gloves, another box he couldn't identify, a hypodermic needle and a bottle of medicine sitting on top. Instantly he felt ill.
"Ready for your first dose of hormones?" Bodhi asked him.
Johnny wasn't really ready. "...what did you say they're going to do?"
"Help your body's own natural hormones kick in. You might notice some tiredness and over all soreness like you've just run a mile, but that's your body's dormant omega mechanics waking up. A few weeks to adjust and you'll feel right as rain," Bodhi explained it all with a gentle smile. "It'll directly result in a smoother, less painful transition. No more feeling feverish or nausea."
Johnny stared at the needle. It kind of worried him that he was more okay with being stabbed by something sharp and pointy than he was with taking an enema or rectal temperature. Both things which, supposedly, weren't supposed to hurt. It wasn't the pain of a shot that bothered him so much as the hormones. He still didn't want to be an omega.
"I have to start today?" Johnny asked with a frown.
Bodhi thought about it for a second. "Well, no. The longer you wait, the longer it will take to complete your transition though."
"Right," Johnny sighed. "Okay. Let's get it over with."
Bodhi smiled sympathetically, as if he understood Johnny's inner turmoil. He pulled on a pair of white latex gloves. Johnny watched him as he punctured the bottle on the tray with the needle and filled the syringe. Johnny expected he was going to get it in the arm or thigh. It would be nasty either way...
"Roll over for me?" Bodhi requested. "I'll need you to lower your boxers and lift your gown."
Johnny could feel his frustration and anger spike. This had to be a fucking joke. "Wait that's being injected into my ass?"
"Just the cheek," Bodhi said, practically apologizing with his tone.
Johnny's stomach twisted. He had assumed the cheek when Bodhi told him to turn over and there was a horrible moment where he imagined taking the injection in his puffy anus, or deeper in the inner walls of his rectum. He all but recoiled in fear.
"I don't know about this," he said, suddenly changing his mind.
Bodhi seemed confused for a second. He set the needle down and walked to the bedside. "What can I do to make this easier for you, Johnny?"
Johnny felt a little overwhelmed by his care and concern. Doctor Rottinger had just forced him to continue on with the next part of the exam when Johnny had showed signs of uncertainty. When he had wanted to go home Pappas and the urgent care nurse worked him into such a frenzy, he actually started throwing punches. Now he had a nurse who was standing by his side with concern, faithfully waiting for permission to go on...
Johnny steeled his nerves. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I just have to suck it up..."
He hesitated before turning over on his stomach. He turned his head in the opposite direction, not quite wanting to face Bodhi in that moment. He couldn't bring himself to reach back and lift his gown because he suddenly remembered having his arm pinned behind his back. He had to actively focus on not letting his mind get caught up in that memory.
"May I?" Bodhi asked, touching the hem of Johnny's purple gown.
Johnny bit his bottom lip and nodded. He had never bothered to put his boxers back on, so when Bodhi lifted his gown it revealed his bare ass. A second later he could hear clatter on the metal tray. He braced himself for the worst.
"Just some rubbing alcohol." Bodhi said before dabbing a spot on Johnny's ass cheek with a little sterile alcohol pad.
Johnny breathed out a slow breath.
"I'm going to inject you now. Just relax." Bodhi's words preceded a painful, sharp stick in his cheek.
It actually didn't hurt any worse than getting stuck in the shoulder yesterday and it hurt a lot less than getting his IV ripped out. Johnny had never really been that afraid of shots, they were just little pinpricks after all. A moment later Bodhi pulled the needle free and all that was left was a little lingering sting. Bodhi even kindly put his gown back down for him.
"Hey, you did great," Bodhi told him.
Johnny took a second before sitting up. His cheek hurt a little to put weight on where he'd just been injected, but it wasn't so bad.
"Thanks," he mumbled.
"We'll have to do that again tonight." Bodhi told him.
Johnny nodded. He could handle that.
"What do you say we get lunch for now?"
He could handle that too.
Johnny put some boxers on before he left, and he and Bodhi took the stairs down together. Johnny had a much easier time with them than he had yesterday. There were more people out in the halls; other patients. They all seemed to be headed to the cafeteria. Some of them offered Johnny passing glances and smiles, though most were trying to be polite and not stare.
They were all omegas. Johnny could just tell. He had never really been good at telling before, unless the omega was pregnant. He realized they were all wearing purple and lavender, two colors associated with omegas. That might have been influencing his impression of them, but Johnny was pretty sure. This was an omega care center, after all. Why would there be anything else here? Although, technically, he wasn’t an omega. Not yet. He wondered if everyone else was looking at him thinking he wasn't truly one of their kind.
Bodhi actually walked through the lunch line with him. Other patients seemed to be amicable with the nurse, as though he'd treated them in the past. The food on the line did look a little better than the mushy meal Johnny had gotten last night. When he had a tray of food Bodhi showed him to a table before patting him on the shoulder and dismissing himself, saying he had to finish up some things.
A few patients introduced themselves. Johnny smiled and politely told them his name, but he wasn’t really trying to make friends.
“What are you here for?” one asked.
Johnny poked at his food. Some kind of red beans and rice. “Uh… I’m transitioning,” He muttered, feeling suddenly embarrassed by his condition. When he looked up, he saw everyone at the table looking at him. The next table over was still quietly buzzing with conversation, but he felt like he had all eyes on him. “It’s… it’s a late transition,” he tried to explain.
There were a few mumblings of surprise, but general acceptance. Johnny got the definite impression that he was the only one transitioning.
“Why? What are most people here for?” He asked awkwardly.
“Trauma,” the person next to him said, as if speaking for himself. “Trauma,” someone else added in agreement. “Trauma and abuse.” “Trauma too.”
Trauma? “What’s that mean?” Johnny asked.
There was a quiet that settled over everyone. A short, thick looking guy eventually spoke up. “My alpha got jealous, broke a pool cue in half and sodomized me with the broken end.”
Johnny’s eyes widened in shock.
“They did emergency surgery, and now I’m recovering. There’s still some reconstruction that needs to be done, but they think I’ll be able to get pregnant again which is good. If I can… find a new alpha.”
“You should come to therapy.” The person next to him nudged his ribs. “You’ll get to hear all of our stories.”
Johnny didn’t know what to say to that. He shoved food in his mouth just to keep from having to speak, though he definitely didn’t feel hungry anymore. Everyone else fell into good-natured conversations around him. God. A pool cue. A broken pool cue. He thought four inches of metal had been bad, and that was an actual medical instrument not a splintered wooden stick.
These last few days had been hell for him, but he had to stop being such a big baby. He could be in a much worse position and he appreciated that now. As he looked around, he realized that everyone else probably had similar stories, if not something worse that had happened to them. He had no room to complain, or refuse treatments, or be embarrassed.
After he ate, he politely declined joining the others in the rec room. It probably would have been better to socialize, or at least see some different scenery for a while. Instead he went back upstairs where he was familiar with the landscape. Bodhi didn't seem to be around when Johnny went to his room. He stood by the window and stared at the beach for a while.
Johnny was expecting to feel sick from eating, but it never happened. He was grateful. He'd been on the edge of queasiness for a while, and it was nice to actually keep some food down. He decided to venture back out when he realized he was safe from puking. He circled around the halls of the second floor for a while, but there wasn't much to see. A few nurses asked him if he needed or wanted anything, but he just explained he was stretching his legs, walking around the halls. That seemed okay.
The main hallways were filled with rooms like his. Some had patients in them that didn't seem to notice anyone walking past their door. Johnny did find one offshoot hallway with a bunch of closed doors. He tried one, and it wasn't locked. When he opened the door, he saw an omega asleep in a hospital bed. No, not just asleep. In a coma or worse. She was hooked up to all kinds of machines and tubes. Johnny left quickly and closed the door behind him on the way out.
He went back down to the first floor, but there wasn't much to see that he hadn't already been shown. Half the first floor was sectioned off by double doors that looked like they would set an alarm off if he went through. He saw a nurse scan a secure keycard in order to unlock them. Johnny was curious about what was on the other side but found somewhere else to explore.
He discovered a door that lead out to an open courtyard. The minute he stepped outside he could feel the sun on his face. He could hear the crashing of the ocean not so far away. The air was so fresh and clean. There were seagulls circling overhead. The courtyard had a few tall trees, some grass, some flower beds, and a really inauthentic looking pond with a bubbling spring. It was pretty obviously some landscaper's hard work; it didn't quite look real, but it was nice. There was a huge boulder sitting just beside the pond and Johnny leaned against it.
Johnny stayed out there so long he watched the sun set and saw the bugs come out. He always liked being outdoors. He liked to bike and climb and skate. He didn't have anything else better to do, it was either sit out here or sit in his room. Besides, it was relaxing to stay outside. A few other patients came out to smoke, but they mostly stayed out of the way. An orderly told him that the cafeteria was serving dinner and that was the only reason Johnny went back inside. He was the last person to eat and sat at a table with only a few others. No one spoke to him. Johnny preferred that.
Bodhi met him in the cafeteria just as Johnny was finished eating. They walked back to his room together. Bodhi gave Johnny some medicine, stuck him in his ass cheek with another dose of hormones and told him to have a good night. Johnny showered after that and eventually went to curl up in bed. He wished he had a book to read or his phone to play with, a TV to watch. Anything.
His stomach hurt a little but not like nausea, more like he had to go to the bathroom. He tried but nothing really happened when he got to the toilet. He eventually went back to bed. After a while he fell asleep.
warnings for descriptions of bathroom use at the end of this chapter
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Johnny woke bright and early the next morning. His stomach hurt. He lay curled up on his side, watching the ocean from his window.
It took a while for Bodhi to come knocking on his door. He came in wheeling a well-stocked silver cart. The same squeaky one from yesterday. Johnny wondered what time it was. He sat up as Bodhi came in and caught the breakfast bar that was tossed his way. Johnny stared at it for a second and then set it beside the breakfast bar from yesterday.
"You should eat in the morning, it changes your whole day." Bodhi told him.
Johnny frowned. Normally he did eat breakfast, but his schedule was all messed up. Yesterday he'd been nauseous and today he still felt sick, though for a different reason.
"Just don't feel good," Johnny shrugged.
That got Bodhi's attention. "Still nauseous?" He asked. "I can change your medication."
Johnny shrugged. He was trying to dismiss the subject, but the way Bodhi was looking at him made it clear he wouldn't let this go. "It's not that. I'll ...let you know if it gets worse."
Bodhi considered. "Alright. I usually start every patient's day with a base body temperature reading and an enema. Are you still dead set against that?"
Johnny hated the way those words made him burn with fear. He thought about taking a splintered pool cue up his ass. He thought about how horrible the one and one eighth probe had been. He thought about how much he wanted to go home. He didn't say anything.
"Enemas are incredibly beneficial. We can do a nice low volume one." Bodhi was at Johnny's bed side. He reached out and gently pat Johnny's thigh. "It could help you feel better."
"No..." Johnny whispered, closing his eyes. He knew he was being a big baby, but he didn't care. He wasn't feeling up for it. Not yet. "Maybe... maybe a suppository," he allowed. That was all he felt comfortable with.
"Yea? The suppositories are helping?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny shrugged. He thought they were. He wasn't sure.
"Would you mind if I did a visual inspection?" Bodhi gave him a hopeful look.
Johnny sighed and nodded. "Fine..."
He didn't want to move, didn't want to follow through with what he had just allowed. He ended up tugging up on his hospital gown anyway. He wasn't wearing the boxers they had issued him. He turned on his side, away from Bodhi. In this way he revealed his bare ass to the nurse.
"That's great Johnny. Just stay like that," Bodhi said kindly.
Johnny heard the snapping of latex gloves and he flinched, glancing over his shoulder. "What are you doing?" He demanded to know.
"I'm just going to lift your cheek so that I can see better," Bodhi explained. "Is that alright?"
Johnny felt only moderately relieved. He sighed and allowed it. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't help himself. He felt Bodhi's gloved hands gently spreading his cheeks.
"Still red..." Bodhi commented with some measure of disappointment. "I'm not going to insert anything, but may I touch?"
Johnny allowed for that too with a nod of his head. He clenched tight in anticipation and eventually felt Bodhi's dry gloved finger touching over his hole.
"You're sure I can't take a base body temperature?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny closed his eyes. He thought about it for a long moment. A thermometer wouldn't be so bad, he supposed. It was smaller and thinner than a probe or even a suppository. He would have to hold it inside of him, but it wasn't big or painful or stressful like an enema. Ugh... he couldn't believe he was agreeing to this.
"Fine," he grit out through clenched teeth.
"That's great, Johnny. That's really great." Bodhi gently patted his hip in appreciation.
He stepped away for a second and the next thing Johnny knew Nurse Bodhi was circling around the bed. He had something in his hand that he brandished for Johnny to see. A white box with a stretchy spiraled black wire connected to a thin metal wand. Johnny watched as Bodhi slid a disposable plastic sleeve over the metal wand. "I'm going to lubricate this thoroughly and insert it into your rectum. I'll leave it there for a minute. Nice and easy."
Johnny's eyebrows drew together in concern. It wasn't so big or scary. He just didn't want to do it. Still, he nodded. Bodhi circled back around the bed. Johnny heard the horrible squelch of lube. He felt Bodhi's hand on his cheek, spreading him.
"I'm going to insert it now," he informed very plainly.
Johnny felt the metal wand at his hole and then it slid home. He had expected the first inch or two to slide in, but the entire three-inch thermometer was pushed inside. He grunted in surprise. The cap at the end touched his puffy red hole and he could feel Bodhi's fingers keeping it pressed in place.
"There we go," Bodhi commended.
He sat awkwardly and waited for the minute to be up. He supposed he was grateful that they weren't talking but at the same time he hated how quietly he had to lay there.
Bodhi pulled the thermometer free and tsk'd his teeth. "Geez, you're really warm internally. Along with this redness? I'm..." Bodhi sighed in consideration as if weighing bad and worse choices.
Johnny was starting to get scared of what he might have to endure.
"...I'll keep a closer eye on it. I'm gonna get you some wipes to use when you go to the bathroom that are medicated with an astringent. It's nothing fancy but it'll help. Another suppository, some more prostate treatments and things should improve, alright? We'll keep our fingers crossed."
Johnny swallowed hard. He didn't want to ask, but he asked anyway; "Is there something else you think would help?" He tried not to be too horrified that they were having this conversation with his gown lifted up and his bare behind on display.
"An enema really would help," Bodhi told him again, turning away to the silver cart. "Some soap to flush out any germs, nice cool water to soothe some of the heat. Here, I'm going to insert a suppository. Just relax."
Johnny was still caught up in considering an enema, or more accurately feeling guilty about his own continued refusal, when he felt the slick Vaseline covered insertable at his hole. He pushed against it and next felt it slide into his rectum and sit there. He tried not to grimace. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of an enema just really upset him, even though he was starting to think he really needed one...
"Ready for treatment?"
Johnny looked over his shoulder. Bodhi was retrieving the OmEgg from the cart. He held it up for Johnny to see and Johnny felt shame warm his belly. He remembered treatment from yesterday morning. He remembered the ridiculous buzzing, and Bodhi's gloved fingers pressing into his skin, and the release of fluid through his cock. He flushed in hot embarrassment.
"Again today?" He asked with some uncertainty as if, for some reason, they might not need to.
"Again today," Bodhi told him mildly.
"Okay," Johnny gave in. It could be worse. It would be embarrassing all over again, but not painful and that meant something to him. He shifted onto his back but pushed his gown down to cover himself until Bodhi was ready with a fully prepared OmEgg.
He explained everything again. Where he was going to put the OmEgg, how much pressure he would apply, how he was going to press down in certain places. All of it. Johnny nodded numbly through, trying to hide his clear discomfort and embarrassment. He didn't want to look Bodhi in the eye.
Bodhi cupped his cock and balls with gentle gloved hands and lifted them out of the way. He pressed the egg to Johnny's sensitive perineum and turned it on. Johnny closed his eyes. A flash of pleasure burst through him, inside. His entire body jerked in surprise.
Bodhi reacted quickly, pulling the OmEgg away and turning it off. "What's wrong?"
Johnny was so humiliated. His cock had barely twitched in response to the pleasure, but Bodhi had been touching it; holding it. He was still holding it. He had to have felt it. There was no way he didn't. Johnny gaped like a fish, too horrified to speak.
"Johnny?" Bodhi put a gentle hand on his leg, down near his knee. "What's is it? Did I hurt you?"
"No," Johnny rasped, fighting the intense urge to shove his gown down, hide his face, or crawl into a deep dark hole somewhere and never resurface.
Nurse Bodhi didn't seem entirely convinced.
Johnny just solemnly shook his head. "No..." He whispered. "It... It felt different than yesterday." He added, reasoning with himself that that was an accurate description while being significantly less humiliating than admitting his arousal. "It freaked me out."
"Different?" Bodhi repeated the word with some measure of concern. "More painful?" He assumed, based on Johnny's reaction.
Johnny clenched his jaw. He gently shook his head 'no'.
Bodhi really considered this. "This is good," he said carefully. "I know it upset you, Johnny. I'm sorry it did. It's good though, we want things to be less painful for you."
'Less painful' and 'pleasurable' were too very different things. Johnny supposed it made sense why he had felt some pleasure. This treatment was sort of wrapped up and connected to his sexual organs. It was just so shameful to be squirting fluid all over himself. The last thing he needed was to be hard too. Johnny wanted to endure the OmEgg treatment even less than ever now but somehow, he knew... he just knew that wasn't an option.
"Do we have to keep going?" He asked Nurse Bodhi, full of dread.
Some of Bodhi's springy brown curls were loose from his high bun. They bounced as he nodded his head. "Yes. I want to continue the treatment that's helping you feel less pain."
Johnny swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. He released his death grip on the hem of his lavender hospital gown and allowed for Bodhi to get on with it. He steeled himself, very pointedly looking away. It would be fine. He was going to die of sheer humiliation, but it would be fine.
Bodhi nestled the OmEgg right up against his skin, alerted Johnny to what he was doing, and turned it on. Johnny didn't feel the same jolt of pleasure from before and he couldn't have possibly been more glad. He grit his teeth and endured the relentless buzzing. Bodhi pressed down with two gloved fingers on Johnny's lower abdomen. His fingers smoothed down Johnny's wiry blonde public hair as he pushed down in that area.
He grimaced during the first release, milky fluid bubbling out of the head of his limp cock. Bodhi commended him ("Great, you're doing great.") and Johnny tried not to be horrified. He ignored his raw feelings of shame and focused instead on the tangible; pressure and vibrations.
Bodhi induced a second release. He then pressed the OmEgg lower, giving fair warning of course, against Johnny's puckered hole. Johnny hated feeling it there but suffered through the sensation by clenching up tight. He felt the suppository half melted in his rectum. It was being buzzed into obliteration inside of him. Bodhi elicited one more release and wanted to try for a fourth but Johnny refused. He was feeling pretty done.
Bodhi wiped him up. First the fluid splattered on Johnny's skin that had gushed from his cock. He wiped up Johnny's cock head too, which was humiliating and terrible. Johnny could have done it himself, for fuck's sake.
"I'm gonna clean up some lube too," he explained patiently before wiping Johnny's hole with a tissue. That was even more humiliating and terrible, but they weren't done yet. Of course, they weren't. Hormones were next on the list.
Bodhi made him turn over. He changed out his latex gloves, wiped Johnny's cheek with a square of alcohol and stuck him with a needle. It hurt a little more than yesterday, probably because he'd already been stuck in that cheek twice.
The rest of Johnny's day was a blur. He wasn't sure when he forced himself to crawl out of bed. He barely remembered eating, though he knew he must have. He thought some other omega patients tried to talk to him, but he didn't remember speaking to them.
Johnny did remember wandering up towards the front. He asked to use a phone and it turned out there was one for patients to use sitting on a small side table up near the front entrance. Johnny considered walking out the glass front doors and never coming back... but the parking lot stretched on. Someone would come chasing after him if he tried to walk out. No car would pick up a hospital gown wearing hitchhiker. He sat himself down at the table and dialed the number for his apartment.
It rang a few times before Jeff picked up.
"Hello?" He said sounding a little confused because no one usually called the apartment phone.
"Jeff?" Johnny whispered, smiling weakly at the sound of his roommate's voice.
"Johnny?" Jeff started crying all at once, quite audibly into the phone. "Johnny, where are you? Are you okay?!"
Jeff wasn't usually a crier. He was a tough omega. Sensitive and prone to bouts of uncertainty, as if he needed a hand to guide him. Not weak or pitiful or useless though. He didn't normally sob, but here he was sobbing into the phone. It made Johnny want to sob too, but he had already done that yesterday. And the day before.
Never again. Johnny resolved. These people are never going to make me cry again.
"I'm okay," he said into the phone, putting on his bravest voice for Jeff.
"I called the hospital and they said you weren't there," Jeff told him, reliving the fear of that moment all over again if his tone was anything to go by. "I didn't know what had happened; where you were."
"I'm at Point Break," Johnny explained.
Jeff sniffled on the other end. "...the beach?" He asked in confusion.
"Yea, there's a treatment center here," Johnny said, omitting that it was an omega care center because he wasn't sure he wanted to bring that up to Jeff just now. Or ever.
"Treatment center?" Jeff had stopped crying but still seemed upset. "What's that mean?"
"Means I'm really sick," Johnny muttered. "And that they had to ship me off somewhere to get better-"
"Oh god," he heard Jeff whisper.
"It's okay." Johnny looked at his purple slippered feet and frowned. "I'm gonna get better, it's treatable."
"What is it? What's wrong?" Jeff asked.
Johnny stayed quiet for a long time.
"Johnny?" Jeff's voice was rising a little in concern. "...Johnny? Do they know what's wrong?"
"I'm transitioning into an omega," Johnny told him flatly.
It was Jeff's turn to be quiet. "What?" He said eventually. "You're like twenty-six?"
"I know. That's why I'm so sick. It was supposed to happen sooner."
"You're a beta?" Jeff countered as an afterthought.
"Yeah, I thought that too. No, though, I never actually was." He felt so awful saying it. It was draining the life out of him just to repeat these words aloud. He wished so badly they weren't true. "I'm going to be an omega," he said, realizing it fully for the first time.
"I miss you," Jeff blurted.
Johnny smiled a little. "I miss you too. I can't wait to come home."
"When will that be? Do you know?"
"I don't," Johnny admitted. "A few weeks? A month?"
Jeff gasped. "What? That long?" He didn't seem to like that prospect. "Can I come visit?"
Johnny suddenly noticed someone standing in front of him. A patient. The one from lunch yesterday who had been sodomized with a broken pool cue. Johnny blanched. He hated that that was how he knew this person and not by his name.
'Phone' and 'after you?' the other patient mouthed, gesturing as he spoke.
"Jeff I-" Johnny ran jerky fingers through his hair. "I should go. I'll find out and call you back."
"No, you have to go so soon?" Jeff sounded upset again.
"Yea, I'll call you back," Johnny said regrettably. He added their usual, casual "love you, dude," and hung up.
"Sorry," Splintered-pool-cue seemed genuinely apologetic. "I didn't mean to end your conversation. You could have taken your time."
"It's fine." Johnny stood and hurried away. "I don't feel well," he added as a stupid excuse and fled from his guilt and horror as quickly as he could.
Johnny went to the courtyard. He sat on the boulder by the man-made pond with his face in his hands for a long time. His head was reeling. This was too much. All of this was too much. He stopped thinking for a while. He listened to the sounds of water beside him and waves in the distance. He heard seagulls cawing.
Johnny willfully stopped thoughts as they occurred. He forced himself to think of nothing. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He thought about motocross. He thought about the beach. He thought about this stupid man-made pond. He thought the grass and the trees. He didn't think of being an omega, or treatment, or Jeff, or splintered pool cues. The minute seeds of those thoughts took hold in his mind he ripped the sprouts out and refused to let the grow.
Biking. Beaches. Seagulls. Suppositories... No. Blue skies. Sunlight. Grass. Pond. Rectal trauma.... No no. No. Waves. Sunlight. Grass. Beach. Sunlight.
The rest of the night blurred. He didn't think at dinner. He barely ate, picking sadly at his food. He didn't think when he went back to his room. He didn't think about taking a shower. He didn't even think when nurse Bodhi came in to stick him with hormones in his ass cheek. Johnny realized, after his cheeks were being parted that he had agreed to another one of those visual checks without thinking. He didn't think when Bodhi finished and snapped off his gloves, telling him to use some medicated wipes and rest.
Johnny didn't sleep. He got up in the middle of the night to stumble towards the bathroom. He pissed easily but still couldn't go. He used the wipes Bodhi had left for him, and they made his hole tingle in a weird way. He strained for a little while on the toilet but eventually he gave in and went back to bed. His stomach kept him awake.
Bodhi woke Johnny, gently shaking his shoulder. His hair was down, a halo of dark curls around his head. He hadn't shaved and stubble was painted across his jaw making him look quite like a teddy bear. Johnny stared at his face for a long time, acutely aware of a twisting pain in his belly.
Bodhi was speaking, but Johnny was so effectively tuning him out it almost scared him.
"Are you an alpha?" He asked sleepily.
Bodhi paused in what he was saying and offered Johnny a curious expression. "I am," he said after a moment.
Johnny had never been good at telling before. He wasn't sure he was good at telling now. He thought maybe the hormones would make him better at it, at being more aware of who was an alpha and who wasn't. Maybe they were working.
His stomach twisted in pain.
"I think I need an enema," Johnny said. He laughed a slightly hysterical laugh, clearly not awake enough to deal with this.
Bodhi's expression shifted. "Yeah?" He kept his hand in Johnny's shoulder, grounding him. "We can do that."
Johnny noticed his accent more than ever, barely-there, soft, and gentle. He wondered where Bodhi was from. His stomach hurt. "I don't want to," he whispered.
"It could really help you, Johnny," Bodhi told him.
Johnny had been up half the night trying to go to the bathroom. He felt so sick. He didn't want an enema, he really didn't. It wasn't about wants though, it was about needs. He needed one. The broken pool cue came to mind. For every time he had refused to think about it yesterday, the thought came back twice and strong today. An enema wasn't as bad as that, at least.
"I don't want to," he said again. His stomach hurt. "I really don't want to."
Bodhi nodded in understanding. "We'll take it nice and easy, huh?" He assured. "Low volume, cool and calming. Nothing too stressful. I'll do everything I can to make sure it's not painful for you."
Johnny had resigned himself to this fate sometime in the sleeplessness of the night. As much as he hated this, he knew he had to do it. His stomach hurt and he wanted to feel better.
"I'll go ready an enema. I want you to take some deep breaths and relax," Bodhi instructed before stepping out.
Johnny laid helplessly in bed, cradling his stomach in his arms. He hated this. He was so tired, and he wanted to sleep so badly. He wished there was something else they could do for him, but he knew he needed an enema. He knew it.
Bodhi returned with his arms full. He had hairy arms, especially his forearms and the backs of his hands. Johnny had never noticed before because he was usually wearing latex gloves. He saw in Bodhi's arm was a red rubber enema bag and tubing. He saw the nozzle and he thought he might throw up.
"No," Johnny whispered. "I change my mind."
Bodhi glanced up at him. "You really think that's the best idea right now, to change your mind?"
Johnny felt sick. "...no," he admitted. "My stomach hurts so much, Bodhi. But I don't want an enema."
Bodhi set his armful down on the wheeled tray and walked to Johnny's bedside. He reached out for Johnny's hand and squeezed his fingers gently.
"I'm going to take care of you," he promised. "I'm going to make you feel better. I know enemas can be scary, but this one won't be."
Johnny looked at the red enema bag sitting deflated and limp. The clear tubing was long and ready to be full of water running into him. The nozzle was half hidden underneath the bag, but he could still see the bulbous white end, hollow with holes to let the water pass through. He had to do this.
"Please be careful," he begged quietly, the vulnerability in his own tone made him feel worse than when he had cried yesterday. "Please."
"I will be," Bodhi told him. He let go of Johnny's fingers. "You're already an expert at the sims position, Johnny. I've seen you get into it before. Can you do that again for me?"
"Is that the one with my knee to my chest?" He asked.
"That's the one." Bodhi flashed him a grin.
Johnny moved slowly to get into position under the blankets. Once there he watched as Bodhi circled around the bed and went into the bathroom. He had the red rubber bag with him as he went in, flat and empty, draped over his fuzzy arm.
He could see Nurse Bodhi's back through the doorway of the bathroom. Johnny heard the running water and felt like refusing all over again. His stomach twisted and he knew he needed this. He still didn't want it, but he knew he needed it. He had blurted out his needs sleepily, laughing at how ridiculous it all was. Now it was actually going to happen to him. He could hear the bag being filled, he had seen the nozzle. It didn't seem so funny anymore.
Bodhi returned with a swollen red bag, no longer flat and draped over his arm. He circled passed Johnny who wasn't trying to look his watery fate in the eye anyway. There were a few inexplicable noises that Johnny couldn't quite decipher. His heart was starting to beat in his ears.
"Johnny?" Bodhi put a hand on his shoulder. He was standing behind where Johnny lay with his knee pulled up to his chest in bed. "I don't want you to worry about the size of the bag. Take as little or as much as you can handle, alright? I'm not trying to clean you out inside, I just want to help you go."
Johnny's face burned with humiliation. He hated talking so carelessly about his bathroom habits. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to it.
"Okay," he said flatly.
Bodhi folded the blanket down, slowly and gently. He pushed Johnny's gown up after that, revealing his bare behind. Johnny hadn't bothered with boxers last night. "There's a little bit of soap in the enema solution," Bodhi explained as he kept his hands busy. "It won't irritate you, but it will help you to feel nice and clean."
Johnny heard the sound of gloves snapping on.
"I'm going to lubricate you now. I'll be inserting my finger slightly. You know how to bare down, I've seen you do it before."
Next, Johnny heard the sound of slick lubrication gurgling out of a tube. He felt Bodhi lift his cheek with one gloved hand.
"Can you bare down for me?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny grimaced, and pushed like he was trying to go to the bathroom, like he had been all last night.
"Perfect," Bodhi commended him. He circled a wet gloved finger around Johnny's puckered hole and then slipped it inside. Barely even an inch. Just a quick in and out. Johnny clenched involuntarily but it was after Bodhi's finger was free. It didn't hurt but he didn't exactly want to be feeling that. He knew the finger was nothing though, and the nozzle would be much worse. So much worse.
"Great, Johnny. I'm going to insert the enema nozzle now."
More sticky lubricant noises. Bodhi's hand returned to lift his ass cheek. Johnny felt something large and unyielding poised dangerously against his wet hole.
"Bare down just one more time," Bodhi requested.
Doctor Rottinger's words echoed in his mind. 'You actually have to bare down this time'. The next thing he had felt was the one and one eighth probe tearing through him, ripping him open. Johnny clenched tight, squeezing his hands into fists.
"Please don't hurt me," he begged pathetically.
"I won't, Johnny," Bodhi promised.
"If you relax your body and push, it won't hurt at all," he reasoned.
Bodhi had waited. Doctor Rottinger had not. Johnny hated himself for conceding, but he trusted Bodhi. He knew he needed to follow his instructions. He forced his body to relax, and a moment later he bore down against the round enema nozzle. He felt his hole oscillate and wink open. Bodhi pushed the tip of the nozzle in.
Johnny hissed through his teeth.
"Relax," Bodhi said with more authority than ever. "Stay relaxed, Johnny."
Inch by terrible and relentless inch Bodhi pushed the enema nozzle in. Johnny forced himself not to clench up though he did feel his hole and his inner muscles tighten and loosen in a way he wasn't sure he could control. The insertion of the nozzle felt violating and invasive and his body felt impossibly full, but it didn't hurt. Not really.
"You're doing great," Bodhi told him, and the nozzle came to a rest, sticking half out of Johnny's body. "I'm going to turn on the water now. Tell me when you feel like you have to go."
Johnny wanted to say something, to nod to indicate he would, but he couldn't find any way to communicate. He wasn't sure he could find a way to breathe either, his chest was starting to feel tight. He heard a gentle click and then... nothing. He laid there and waited and waited.
"Would it be alright if I touched your stomach?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny couldn't breathe. He managed to gently tip his head up and down since he couldn't speak.
Nurse Bodhi reached under Johnny's gown. His gloved fingers found Johnny's bare skinned stomach. He rubbed it gently, reaching his fingers between where Johnny's knee was drawn up. It felt so inexplicable to be touched there so tenderly Johnny all but squirmed.
"Yeah, I can feel how full your intestines are," Bodhi commented. "You poor thing. I bet it really hurts. I wish I could have convinced you to take an enema sooner."
A sharp cramp of pain raced across Johnny's belly. He all but doubled up in pain. He couldn't tell if it was different than what he had been feeling all morning and last night. Bodhi stilled his hand and moved to adjust the nozzle where it had apparently slid out some. Johnny grunted, feeling it shove deeper into his body.
"Would you like me to stop the flow?" Bodhi asked in concern.
Johnny wanted all of this to stop. He moaned low. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak.
A few more seconds of water guzzling, and it hit him. Oh, it hit him.
"Stop," he somehow managed to say. And then "Stop, stop, stop!"
There was a familiar clicking sound and Johnny couldn't tell if the water had stopped flowing or not. All he knew was he had to go to the bathroom. Now.
"Take it out!" He demanded urgently, breathless and tight-chested.
"Alright, Johnny," Bodhi gently eased the enema nozzle out. A small gush of water squirted out of his ass with it, wetting the blankets on the bed. Johnny cried out in panic and humiliation. He scrambled out of bed, knees weak, and stumbled to the bathroom. Water was running down his thighs. Bodhi took his arm and helped him into the bathroom.
Johnny sat on the toilet and expelled it all, enema water and the rest of the contents of his bowels. He was gasping for air, panicking.
"Easy," Bodhi touched his shoulder. "Breathe through; let it out."
"Get out," Johnny recoiled.
Bodhi understood and stepped out.
When Johnny emerged from the bathroom nearly half an hour later, he was completely empty. He had cleaned up his wet thighs and legs, and he had used the wipes Bodhi had given him yesterday. His gown was wet in places, so he took it off and balled it up in front of him to hide his nudity. He wandered back out into his room and saw Bodhi was still there.
Johnny was so ashamed about everything that had just happened he almost turned back to the bathroom.
Bodhi had stripped the bed and was putting on dry blankets. The half empty enema bag hung on a stand nearby. The tubing and nozzle were looped around a hook on the stand, glistening and wet. Johnny looked at it with true loathing, but he would be lying if he said it hadn't made him feel better. It just wasn't fair. Why did all these treatments and solutions have to be mixed up with pain and shame.
Johnny grimaced. He never wanted to look Bodhi in the eye again. He thought of the sounds his body made as he was expelling the enema and was sure he was going to die of embarrassment.
"Johnny. I'm a nurse. Enemas and bathroom use are all a part of the job."
Johnny went to the closet to find a clean gown so that he didn't have to have this conversation in the nude.
"It's a normal bodily function," Bodhi continued. "If you want to suffer through treatment alone, I won't try and change your mind. I want you to know that I'm happy to be there for you, though. I want to help you."
Johnny felt so stupid and so guilty. He was acting like this was torture, but a broken pool cue was torture. He knew Bodhi was different than the doctors at the hospital, and everything he said and did proved that. There was nothing he could do about the shame he felt, that was involuntary. It would be nice not to go at this entirely alone though.
"I think I had an anxiety attack," he muttered guiltily.
Bodhi opened his eyes a little wider. "Just now?" He went to the tray. He picked up a cup of medicine and a bottle of water bringing both to where Johnny was standing.
"Yeah," Johnny admitted. He'd put a new gown on, pale lavender. He tossed the other towards the hamper in the corner. "I've never had one before, so I don't know but I kind of stopped breathing."
"I wish you had said something. The last thing I want to do is cause you to panic in any way," Bodhi said earnestly as he handed the pills over. Johnny knocked them back and drank a swig. "Do you have any idea what could have caused a reaction like that? Was the enema that bad?" He asked.
Johnny shrugged. "I just... never... had to deal with this kind of stuff before. They made me do procedures I didn't want to do at the hospital. They hurt me. When I got here, they forced that suppository inside of me when I was crying... begging them not to."
"I'm so sorry, Johnny." Bodhi reached out to rub his shoulder apologetically.
Johnny shrugged. They were standing next to the window, so he looked out. "I get it. It's all for my own good or whatever. It's just... hard. Humiliating. Painful."
Bodhi slid his hand down Johnny's arm and lead him back to the bed. "Listen, you have nothing to be embarrassed about with me. I'm on your side. We're in this together, Johnny. I'll help you through."
Johnny swallowed. "Yeah, okay," he wasn't sure it would really be that easy. He did feel a little better knowing Bodhi wasn't judging him. Barely better, but that was better than not better at all.
"Should we continue on? Will you let me take your temperature?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny sighed. "Yeah." Might as well.
He got back into bed, back into position with his knee pulled up. Bodhi got the thermometer out and narrated carefully as he gently slid it into place. Johnny grimaced. It felt like nothing in comparison to the enema nozzle, but it was still an intrusion.
"Hey," Bodhi said cheerfully as he removed the thermometer from Johnny's anus. "You're cooling off a little."
Johnny didn't know what to say to that, but he supposed it was good.
Bodhi inserted a suppository next. The same greasy pellet as always. It sat right in Johnny's rectum, and he could feel it when he clenched down.
They moved on to OmEgg treatment after that. Johnny rolled onto his back, let Bodhi cup his cock and balls, and felt the egg shaped vibrator nestle up against his skin beneath Bodhi's grip. For a flash of a second Johnny remembered the pleasure he had felt yesterday. His body soured with fear and he felt his face turn hot... However, when Bodhi turned the egg on, he felt less than usual.
It buzzed of course, and he could feel the vibrations. He couldn't feel that typical ache or even the spark of pleasure. There was nothing. Bodhi pressed down in his lower abdomen and pubic area and still, nothing.
Johnny frowned. "I don't think it's working," he said after a while.
Bodhi agreed. He changed the OmEgg's position, pushing it right up against Johnny's hole. It was bordering on being pushed into him, and the pressure was ominous like his anus might give way and open up; swallowing the entire vibrating egg whole. That didn't happen though, he just felt the vibrations differently. Bodhi had to push quite hard on his pubic area to induce a release, and it was only a small one.
Johnny frowned in concern as Bodhi turned the egg off. Usually they did this like four times. "Is that bad?" He asked with some uncertainty.
"No, no," Bodhi smiled. "This is good. Your prostate was swollen because of a build-up of prostatic fluid. We've released a lot of that fluid in the past few days."
"Oh," Johnny said thoughtfully. He pushed his gown down as Bodhi returned the egg to the cart.
"Omegas usually need to relieve their prostate gland once a day." Bodhi said.
Johnny's eyes widened. "What? Really?" He didn't know that. Jeff didn't do that? Did he? Johnny had never known about him doing that. He had found some sex toys in their shared bathroom a few times, but Jeff mostly kept his sexual appetite to himself.
"Usually." Bodhi nodded. He was readying the hypodermic needle with hormones. "All bodies are different. We're going to continue treatment, I'll keep milking your prostate in the mornings. We might try a different technique tomorrow though."
Johnny thought about it. That didn't seem so bad. "Okay."
He turned onto his stomach and let Bodhi lift his gown. He stuck the sharp end of the needle into Johnny's ass cheek and gave him his shot.
"All done," Bodhi said. "It was a stressful morning for you, why don't you get some rest?"
Johnny realized how tired he was. It was an all-encompassing tiredness that seeped into every single one of his bones. His limbs felt heavy, his eyes were sleepy. He ached. He remembered how little he'd slept last night and felt like making up for it here and now.
He listened to Bodhi clean up the room as he drifted off to sleep.
Bodhi woke him for lunch. He ate without feeling nauseous or with a gut already full. He even chatted lightly with the patient sitting next to him. After lunch he went to the rec room to watch TV. He hadn't intended on going there, but as he was walking passed, he saw the news was on. He couldn't remember the last time he had watched the news.
There was a nice couch and a few comfy chairs in the rec room. They were all lavender. Considering the fact that he was wearing a lavender gown he should have blended right in to the surroundings. It didn't quite work out that way. Other patience noticed him and kept asking him how he was doing and if he felt okay. Johnny awkwardly told them he was fine, and then felt bad for not asking how they were doing. He just couldn't. He didn't want to hear another broken pool cue story.
Johnny found he couldn't even pay attention to the TV. His thoughts kept slotting back to bad things. Spilling enema water all over the bed. Getting hard in Nurse Bodhi's hand. Broken pool cues splintered and sharp and red with blood. Rottinger's calculated insistence that they continue. He tried to stop these thoughts the minute they wandered into his head, but it was hard. He stared at the TV screen and realized he had no idea what was happening. It wasn't even the news anymore it was some game show.
After that Johnny went out to the courtyard, he liked it out there. It was easier to clear his mind. Clear blue sky, cool water, soft grass. No pain, no prying eyes, no lingering humiliation, no thoughts of trauma or horror. Just birds circling overhead. The waves in the distance.
Johnny wasn't sure if he was dealing with well or not at all.
The next morning Johnny woke up early. He stretched and went to the bathroom to piss. He went and stood by the window, watching the sun rise over the ocean. It looked kind of nice out.
The sun was up by the time Bodhi came in. As always, he had a breakfast bar in hand, and the same wheeled, silver cart. The first day it had contained little more than a cup of medicine. Now it had pills, a hypodermic and hormones, a red enema bag and tubing, but no OmEgg. Johnny tried not to look at it all with too much curiosity. He didn't want to seem eager.
"Good morning," Bodhi said as he walked over to where Johnny was standing and handed over the breakfast bar. Johnny actually ate it.
"I feel better today," He said between chews.
Bodhi smiled. "That's great."
Johnny hesitated before saying more, but then remembered their conversation about Nurse Bodhi wanting to be there for him. "I hate that I'm feeling better though, you know? Like I don't want to be here or be transitioning into an omega."
Bodhi thought about that. "Now that your body is starting to feel better, you can focus on your recovery rather than just feeling sick or in pain. This is such a huge change, of course it's going to be hard, but it doesn't have to be bad."
He stepped away to grab the cup of pills and water. Johnny downed both. He felt kind of silly having someone wait on him hand and foot like this, but Bodhi just made it so casual. He also felt a little weird about opening up emotionally.
"...you're going to give me another enema, aren't you?" Johnny glanced towards the cart.
"They're really good for you, Johnny," Bodhi said earnestly.
"I had an anxiety attack during the last one," he said pointedly. Anxiety attacks were decidedly not good for one's health.
"Last time you were scared I was going to hurt you... I didn't, did I?" Bodhi nodded towards the bed and they walked over together.
Johnny thought about the cramps of pain, but he knew that was mostly because his bowels had been packed full. "No," he agreed. "You didn't.”
Bodhi offered a small smile. "And you felt better after getting it yesterday, right?"
Johnny shrugged, but the answer was actually yes. A lot better.
"So today there's no reason to be anxious."
Johnny wasn't sure that that was how anxiety attacks worked. "Plenty of reason to be humiliated though."
Bodhi just tsked his teeth. "There's nothing shameful about your body or its health. I promise none of this is half as embarrassing as you think it is. Nurses like me have seen it all before."
Johnny actually kind of appreciated Nurse Bodhi talking this through with him. Someday soon he hoped to actually believe those words about none of this being embarrassing. For now, it quieted some of his more intense feelings of shame and that was enough.
"We can go slow, right?" He said as he sat on the bed. "Slow and easy and," he swallowed audibly, "and you promise you won't hurt me?"
"I promise." Bodhi reached out for Johnny's fingers and squeezed them, just for a second, before pulling away.
Johnny trusted him. He agreed.
Bodhi went to fill the red enema bag in the bathroom. Johnny climbed further into bed and got into the correct position with his knee up. There was a knot of dread growing in his stomach, but he breathed through it. He would be fine. He would be humiliated and uncomfortable, but he would be fine.
They went through everything the same as yesterday. Bodhi lubed Johnny up with a quick poke of his wet finger inside of Johnny's hole. He lined up the lube slicked enema nozzle and gently instructed him to bare down. Bodhi's mind traveled not to Doctor Rottinger and his violent probing, but to Bodhi's gentle tummy rubs from yesterday. He grunted and bore down, and the enema nozzle slipped inside. It felt big and bulbous and he hated it inside of him, but it wasn't so bad... he guessed....
Bodhi clicked on the water and let it flow. Johnny didn't actually feel anything entering him, just the relentless length of the nozzle. Bodhi asked politely of he could touch Johnny's stomach again and Johnny agreed. It was weird, having his belly touched made him feel like a little kid in some inexplicable way. He didn't mind it though. Bodhi stroked his stomach in soothing circles, gloved palm against Johnny's bare skin.
"Your intestines feel much better," Bodhi commented. "Nice and flat. I bet you'll be able to take more water."
Johnny didn't really want to take more but he didn't say anything. He just lay there as Bodhi rubbed his belly under the gown. He supposed he did end up taking more water because he laid there for much longer. No cramps ached him, but he started to feel full. Like he'd eaten too much. He didn't feel the urgency to go to the bathroom for quite a while but eventually it came. It always did.
"Okay," he groaned, clenching around the enema nozzle. "I have to go."
"Do you think you can hold it for a minute or two?" Bodhi asked curiously after clicking the flow of the water off.
Johnny bit his lip. "I don't want to."
"How about we try for that tomorrow?" He suggested.
Sure, fine, whatever Johnny thought. Just so long as he could get rid of this water now.
"I'm going to extract the nozzle. Just relax, don't clench so hard or it'll be uncomfortable," Bodhi told him.
Johnny remembered the way he spilled all over himself yesterday and absolutely did not let up on his tight clenching. It actually did feel uncomfortable to have the nozzle be removed from such a tight hole, but Johnny grit his teeth and dealt with it. He was surprised to feel something pressing against his hole as soon as the nozzle was free. It took him a second to realize it was Bodhi's thumb, keeping any leaks in. Johnny flushed with embarrassment, though not as much as he thought he would.
"Can you make it to the toilet?"
"Yeah," Johnny rasped.
Bodhi helped walk him there. He politely stepped out as soon as Johnny was on the toilet seat, but Johnny knew he could hear it all; each watery expulsion. He sat on the toilet for a while, wiped himself with a medicated wipe and emerged feeling only mildly embarrassed. This was an incredible improvement upon yesterday.
"Temperature?" He guessed.
"Temperature." Bodhi nodded.
It was back to bed, back to the sims position, back to one knee up against his chest. The thermometer was nothing compared to the enema, but it was still uncomfortable.
"Your anus is looking a lot pinker," Bodhi said thoughtfully as he kept the rectal thermometer in place.
Johnny didn't know what to say to that.
"It's a good thing," Bodhi added after a moment. He slid the thermometer free and made a contented noise. "And your fever is doing better. Johnny you're on a great track. I'm really happy with all these results."
Johnny hated the stupid pride he felt for improving.
"Suppository next?" He asked meekly.
"Well actually." Bodhi touched his hip and somehow Johnny knew to sit up. He regarded his nurse curiously wondering where this would go. "I wanted to talk to you about prostate milking."
Johnny fixed his gown so that he felt more covered. He looked down at his lap. "Oh. No more OmEgg?" He was kind of glad, but he wasn't sure about what that meant next.
"No, I think it's effectiveness has worn off," Bodhi said thoughtfully, sitting with his hip at the edge of Johnny's bed. If you're alright with it, I would like to stimulate your prostate directly."
Johnny frowned. "Directly?" What did that mean? He was sure he knew, but he didn't want to believe it.
"I want to insert two fingers and physically touch your prostate with them," Bodhi explained patiently.
Johnny's body flashed white hot with fear all over. He couldn't believe how much that thought scared him. He thought he was passed all of this fear, and yet here he was terrified. "What?"
"No." It had hurt so much when Doctor Harp had touched his prostate. He had screamed. He had actually fucking screamed. He got white knuckled just thinking about it.
"Johnny. Hear me out," Bodhi pleaded. "You refused suppositories, but they've helped with the pain and redness. You refused enemas too, but they helped a lot with how sick you were feeling."
Johnny clenched his jaw. That was different somehow.
"The treatment with the OmEgg has been working. We've drained a lot of prostatic fluid. Your prostate is less engorged; less swollen. It won't hurt to touch."
"You... you don't know that." Johnny shook his head. It wasn't so much the procedure he was refusing, because he was sure Bodhi was right. He was sure it would benefit him just as much as everything else had. He just didn't want to feel that deep, internal pain ever again.
"I do know that," Bodhi countered. "It's my job to know that." Then his expression shifted, and his tone turned from reasoning to empathy. "I wouldn't hurt you, I wouldn't dream of hurting you. I know how important that is to you. I wouldn't try to do something that I thought would cause you any serious pain."
Johnny bit his lip and frowned. "...I don't know." He hated how much he trusted Bodhi.
"Will you let me try?" Bodhi asked. "If it's uncomfortable we can stop. Just say the word."
Johnny thought of all the times Bodhi had immediately stopped using the OmEgg; shut it right off and pulled it away. He had immediately stopped the flow of the water in the enemas too. He was good for it. He would stop if Johnny asked. It just might be a very painful two seconds before he managed to get the word out...
"You'll be gentle?" Johnny asked.
"Always," Bodhi promised.
Johnny sighed. His body was still sour with fear, warning signals flagging throughout his brain. "...okay."
"This is great, Johnny," Bodhi told him, patting his thigh. "Direct stimulation is a great experience. You'll feel better afterwards."
Johnny very much doubted that.
Bodhi went to change out his gloves. He snapped on a clean pair of creamy latex and told Johnny to get in the 'knee chest position'. Johnny was sure that he had been doing that this whole time, based on the name, but he was wrong. The knee chest position was on all fours with his head bowed and his ass high up in the air. He blanched with fear as he got onto all fours and thought maybe this was some joke... Until Bodhi put a hand on his lower back and commended him for getting into position correctly.
"That's great," he said, sliding his hand down Johnny's ass cheek. It ached a little, on account of all the needle marks. "Just relax and breathe, Johnny."
Johnny couldn't see, he could only see his blankets in front of him and his own forearms, but he could hear. He knew the click of that lubricant tube by now. He was all too familiar with the wet squelching noises. "I'm going to insert one finger," Bodhi explained. He pressed a wet finger to Johnny's impossibly exposed hole and then carefully pushed it inside with gentle pressure. It popped in easily enough. Johnny shifted on his knees, preparing for the worst.
"In through your anal opening, just passed your rectum-" Bodhi was explaining as he pushed his finger in. He seemed to twist it slightly which made Johnny want to squirm. "Your prostate should be just about here."
Johnny clenched in sudden fear, hole squeezing down on Bodhi's finger like a vice grip. It made him realize how big one little finger felt, and how odd it was to have one jammed up inside of him.
"Hey," nurse Bodhi soothed him. "Relax Johnny. Just relax."
Johnny grit his teeth for a second and then had to force the muscles in his body one by one to ease up. It was only when he'd stopped clenching that he felt it... the familiar ache like wiggling a loose tooth. Bodhi was touching his prostate. It didn't hurt. It wasn't a sharp or immediate pain that made him jolt or scream. Just a low-grade ache.
"Does that hurt?" Bodhi asked.
"...no." Johnny whispered.
"It feels only a little engorged," Bodhi said happily. He began sliding his finger in and out of Johnny's hole.
Johnny felt the pushing in and pulling out more than he felt the dragging of a fingertip over his prostate, but eventually he realized he could feel that too. It wasn't a bad sensation, but it certainly felt odd...
"I'm going to insert another finger," Bodhi warned. "Can you open up for me, Johnny? A nice big push?"
Johnny grunted and complied, baring down. He felt Bodhi's second finger slide in; latex wrapped and wet with lube. A trail of lubrication was starting to drip down his to his ballsack.
"Good." Bodhi pat him on the hip with his other hand. "You can relax now. Just breathe."
Johnny did. Or at least, he tried. His hole was being stretched a little wider than he would have liked, but it wasn't the most painful stretch he'd ever endured so Johnny put up with it. He felt both of Bodhi's fingers inside of him and before he knew it the tooth ache sensation was rising. He could feel Bodhi pushing down on his prostate, literally pressing on it.
Just when he thought the sensation might turn painful, a spark of pleasure blossomed deep within him. It felt so good he almost moaned. His soft cock exploded at once with a with milky release.
"There you go," Bodhi murmured. He didn't stop what he was doing though. In fact, he started pumping his fingers in and out of Johnny with even more intent, sliding the tips of his fingers over his prostate again and again and again in constant stimulation.
Johnny's body jerked, pleasure doubling. He couldn’t believe he was enjoying this, but it felt so good, like nothing he'd ever experienced before. His thighs trembled, his cock got hard, and he released again. More milky white prostatic fluid. Johnny whimpered in surprise, and no small amount of pleasure.
Bodhi's movements stilled. "Alright, Johnny?"
Johnny had to catch his breath. "Are we done?" He asked, acutely aware of Bodhi's fingers still in his ass.
"I'd like to try for just one more release," Bodhi said earnestly.
Johnny swallowed hard and didn't speak.
Bodhi's fingers pushed down on his prostate in a way that made Johnny's elbows weak. He dropped his head and moaned making fists in the sheets with his hands. He couldn't help but think of his alpha ex-boyfriend and all the times he had fingered Johnny. It had never really felt good. Johnny realized, now, that this was what it was supposed to feel like.
The internal pleasure was thrumming through him, warm and tingling and achingly sweet. Each time Bodhi pushed down on his prostate it spiked, making him want to cry out. Johnny's cock was thick, full and hard. When his third release finally hit him, it wasn't just prostatic fluid. He climaxed, hot and sticky, spilling white come all over himself and the bed. He groaned as Bodhi removed his fingers.
"There you go, Johnny. Great job." There was a rustle of movement and then something else was at his hole... "Let's get you a suppository while you're here." The greasy Vaseline coated pill slipped so easily inside that Johnny almost didn't feel it. "And now let's get you cleaned up."
Bodhi wiped his ass for him, using one of the medicated wipes that made Johnny's hole tingle. He wiped up the excess lube too. After that he reached between Johnny's thighs and started mopping up prostatic fluid and come.
"Did you achieve climax during that?" He asked casually.
Shame burned through Johnny. "Y-yes," He whispered.
"It's alright, Johnny," Bodhi soothed him. "Orgasms are a natural response."
The pleasure of it all that had drowned out his embarrassment until now. Bodhi's words were comforting but they were forcing him to think about just how much he enjoyed a medical procedure. Johnny would much rather push those thoughts from his mind, like he did with everything else.
Bodhi wiped up his splattered belly and took hold of his cock in order to clean the head. Johnny bit his lip.
Afterwards Bodhi stuck him with a needle, injecting hormones, and then helped Johnny out of bed. He took away the messy sheets, folding them in his arm. He reached out with one hand to pat Johnny on the shoulder. "You did really well today," He said happily.
Johnny smiled an uncomfortable sort of smile. He'd made it through all his treatments and hadn't had one single anxiety attack. That was good, he supposed. A few days ago, he hadn’t been able to stand the thought of getting hard in Bodhi’s hand and now he’d just come all over himself in front of the guy, with only a burning red blush of humiliation to show for it. That was pretty good too.
"I'm proud of you, Johnny. I know how hard this is for you."
The sentiment would have been nicer if his ass didn't feel stretched and used, and If Nurse Bodhi wasn't holding come stained sheets in his arms.
"Thanks," Johnny muttered again.
"I can already tell your body is doing better." He flashed a smile. "You'll be out of here in no time."
That was Johnny's routine for almost a week. A breakfast bar in the morning chased by a cup of pills. Then a nice clean enema to empty him out. Nurse Bodhi was tirelessly pushing Johnny to push himself, telling him he could take a little bit more water than the day before, or hold it a few more seconds so the enema could clean him out really well.
Once Johnny had released the enema it was back to bed for the rectal thermometer. It didn't feel very big, but it was always odd to lay there on his side with a metal wand shoved up his ass, Bodhi's thick fingers keeping it pressed deep within him. Bodhi usually chatted with him while taking Johnny's temperature, which was never not awkward.
Then the prostate milking. Bodhi always used two gloved fingers, and he had settled on happily milking Johnny three times a day. It usually ended in a breathless climax for Johnny, who went from being horrified by his body's natural reaction to starting to crave the sensation.
He was finally starting to understand all the nonsense about omegas aching for an alpha cock. If a thick alpha cock hit the spot like this, then he totally got it. He didn't really include himself with those omegas though, he was still coming to terms with the pleasure of two fingers. He wasn't interested in any alpha cock, thank you very much.
More than once as he soaped between his ass cheeks in the shower Johnny had thought about slipping a finger in there and trying to touch his prostate himself. He always chickened out at the last minute. The temptation was very real though.
After the pills, the enema, the rectal thermometer, and the prostate milking Johnny received his suppository and a sharp shot to his cheek. He was starting to run out of free skin that hadn't been needled. Bodhi seemed mindful of this and tried to space out injection sites as best he could.
Bodhi really was a good nurse. Johnny was more thankful for him than ever. He would have gone crazy having to endure these treatments with anyone else. Bodhi was still so patient and kind and unbelievably gentle. He treated each procedure as if it was the first time, carefully walking Johnny through and taking his time with everything. He was encouraging and kind and seemed to really care about Johnny as a patient.
It wasn't all easy, though. He had a few ups and downs. Sometimes he got the overwhelming urge to cry or scream for no reason, but that was usually in the down time between the meals of the day. He spent a lot of time out in the courtyard trying not to think of anything at all, but his worries always slipped through the cracks. Sometimes he thought about the fact that he was turning into an omega and it hit him hard in the gut. He still didn't want this.
His public hair started to fall out in tufts. He noticed it in the shower at first. Apparently, it was a side effect of the hormones. Johnny wasn't sure he even found public hair necessary or useful but there was something sort of horrifying about seeing so much of it wash away down his legs.
His chest started to ache too, his nipples especially. It wasn't so bad really, but it was getting worse and worse every day. Bodhi gave him a chest exam when Johnny mentioned the discomfort. Johnny had to lay on his back with his gown off of his shoulders. He was so used to being on his stomach with his back turned to nurse Bodhi that he didn't ever get to watch him as he worked. During the chest exam he got to stare at Bodhi's face and see the expression of his slate grey eyes as he palpated Johnny's pectorals with two gloved fingers. He tweaked Johnny's puffy nipples, rolling them between thumb and forefinger.
Apparently, chest pain was meant to happen with the hormones. Johnny wouldn't likely be able to provide for a child, but his milk ducts would start to develop slightly. They wouldn't grow too much but they would be slightly more functional. Bodhi cautioned him that the discomfort might worsen and that if it got too bad, he could offer some topical creams.
Johnny was actually sort of getting the hang of things, getting steady in his routine when Bodhi had to go and change it all up.
It was almost two weeks exactly since Johnny had been admitted when Bodhi came rolling in with a silver cart late in the evening. This was around the time he usually came in just to give Johnny a shot of hormones, but he had more than a hypodermic.
"Hey, Johnny," He greeted cheerfully. "We're going to do something new today."
Johnny was freshly showered. He curiously cocked an eyebrow at Bodhi, and then at the cart... "We are?" He remembered his terror from that first week, how scared he was to take an enema or a suppository. That gnawing fear returned to his belly.
"We're going to start working on encouraging your body to produce mucus," Bodhi told him.
Johnny swallowed. Yeah, he remembered that from his first day here when he discussed his treatment options with Bodhi. If he remembered correctly, they were going to introduce some kind of bacteria into his body.
"What do I have to do?" Johnny asked, trying hard not to sound afraid. It couldn't be any worse than anything else he had to endure, right?
Bodhi went to the cart and retrieved something from it. The item was wrapped in sterile paper, exactly like the one and one eighth probe from Doctor Rottinger's office. Johnny still remembered everything Doctor Rottinger had done to him clear as if it had happened yesterday. He felt suddenly ill.
"The bacteria we want to introduce is all friendly bacteria," Bodhi explained as he carefully unwrapped the paper package. "A few years ago, they used to introduce it in large volume enemas, but they found that it works better with a longer time to cultivate. High volume enemas are stressful enough on the body and holding them for longer than thirty minutes is not recommended. Recently some very clever OmPreg specialist invented one of these."
Johnny laid his eyes on the object being brandished for him to see. It was a lengthy cone shaped object. It was somewhat transparent or made of a type of clear material. It wasn't as long as the one and one eighth probe, but only just. Johnny guessed it was three inches based on the way it looked in Bodhi's hands. It wasn't as thick as the one and one eighth probe either. Even the widest part was likely less than an inch in circumference.
Bodhi brought the object to Johnny to see and evidently touch but Johnny didn't want to touch it.
"This is a porous material," Bodhi explained. "It's actually quite flexible and soft. It's not like a rigid metal probe or hard plastic enema nozzle." He bent the cone shape and it arched a little but didn't seem flexible enough to bend in half or anything.
Johnny's throat was dry.
"It's infused with microscopic bacteria. All we have to do is insert it and let it cultivate inside of you," Bodhi finished his explanation.
Johnny swallowed, and then swallowed again. His throat clicked. "Insert it?" He whispered stupidly.
"Yes. It's an anal insert." He showed Johnny one end of the cone shaped object. There was a thin section, and then a round knot at the end. Johnny knew at once that that round knot wouldn't go inside of him, that it would stick out his ass so that Nurse Bodhi could retrieve the cone at a later time. But how much later?
"How long do I have to have it inside of me?" He asked with a deep frown.
Bodhi offered a genuinely sympathetic smile. "All night. Six to eight hours."
Johnny's jaw dropped. "What?"
"It's comfortable enough to sleep in," Bodhi told him gently.
Johnny took a long, deep breath. "...there's no other way?"
"We could do high volume enemas." Bodhi nodded. "Tomorrow, one every hour for about six hours. And Thursday too. And Friday. Then see how your body is reacting?"
"No," Johnny groaned. That sounded like hell. The small enemas he took in the morning were one thing but taking a full bag and holding it for half an hour was not something he wanted to do. Then again, this cone shaped plug wasn't something he wanted to deal with either. It was thin enough, he supposed. It wouldn't stretch or hurt him. It was just so long though...
"Would you let me insert it?" Bodhi asked hopefully. "If it's too much for you I'll take it out."
Johnny stared at the object a little longer. He reached out to touch it. It was kind of... squishy. It didn't feel so big in his hands. That didn't mean anything though. The rectal thermometer and Bodhi's fingers weren't very big either, but they were still uncomfortable.
"I guess we could try," he sighed.
Johnny got in the knee chest position with his knees and elbows on the bed. He hoped it wasn't obvious how uncertain and scared he was. It had been a while since the snap of latex gloves and squish of lubricant made him feel so nervous. He was getting complacent about taking things up the ass, but he still didn't quite like it.
"I'm going to open you up a little with my fingers so that the plug will go in easy," Bodhi explained. "Just breathe."
Johnny knew the feeling of two fingers inside of him all too well. He was so good at taking two fingers at this point that they could both slide in easy. All Bodhi had to do is gently press his gloved fingers to Johnny's hole, and his body would reflexively push back; opening enough to allow entry.
Bodhi worked him over with two fingers for a few moments, twisting them in curious ways that he didn't usually do when he was trying to stimulate Johnny's prostate. It was only for a few moments though.
"Alright. I'm going to insert the plug," Bodhi said with his fingers knuckle deep in Johnny's ass. Johnny's mouth went dry.
He felt Bodhi's fingers slide slowly out and before he could tighten up there was something filling his hole. It slid in easily enough, but then more pressed in and more and more. More than Johnny felt comfortable with. He was starting to feel stuffed full, but Bodhi just kept shoving the object in. Deeper and deeper. Johnny could feel it all up in his guts. He grunted.
Bodhi paused. "Alright?"
"It's big..." Johnny uttered gutturally because he couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Just a little bit left," Bodhi informed him. Johnny wanted to groan. "You can take it, Johnny. Just breathe." He started pushing again.
"I'm full," Johnny protested, but as soon as he said the words, he was proven wrong. With one last shove his body swallowed the plug whole. He grunted again. He was so aware of how filled his ass was he barely heard Bodhi commending him.
"It's huge," Johnny muttered pathetically.
"No." Bodhi patted his behind. "No, it's just the right size."
Yeah right. He didn't have one shoved up inside of him. He didn't know how odd it felt to have something inserted like that, left pressed deep within him.
"Think you can wear it tonight?" Bodhi asked him.
Johnny relaxed down on his stomach. He felt the plug shift when he moved, and he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth . "I... I don't know," Johnny admitted. He could put up with it, sure, but he didn't know how he was supposed to sleep like this.
"I think you can," Bodhi said wisely, patting Johnny's behind. "My shift's over soon, but I'll have one of the night nurses check in on you. You can ask one of them to help you remove it if you need to."
Johnny chewed his lip. He supposed that seemed okay. He didn't really know any of the other nurses as well as he knew Bodhi, and he wasn't as comfortable with them. He guessed if he needed to, he would ask for help. He could do that.
Bodhi readied a hypodermic for a shot of hormones. He swiped Johnny's cheek with alcohol and then stuck him quickly. Johnny learned that he clenched up when he felt the sharp prick of a needle and whimpered pathetically at the feeling of clenching around the plug.
"Are you alright?" Bodhi asked in concern.
Johnny relaxed pointedly and nodded. "Yeah... I think..."
Bodhi paused and ran a hand over Johnny's bare cheeks, making it perfectly clear where his fingers were headed before gently resting on the knot of the plug. Johnny waited to feel a push or wiggle, but none came.
"The mucus membrane of your rectum and anus has been dormant, but it'll react to the bacteria. You might feel your body changing internally, but it won't be painful. The same way getting a runny nose isn't painful," He carefully explained.
Johnny made a disgusted face. He didn't really want to compare his ass to a runny nose. It was gross enough thinking of slick as mucus. It had always just been slick, to him, a salty wetness that omega's released when they were turned on. He'd watched porn where Alpha's licked rivulets of it from omega's holes. Considering it in a medical context instead of a sexual one seemed weird.
"This is a big part of your transition, Johnny," Body said thoughtfully, fingers still resting innocently on the knot of the plug. "Your prostate is the right size and responding well to stimulus. Your body is changing more and more each day. You'll start to produce slick and then you're on your way to a good heat."
Johnny looked over his shoulder at his nurse. He was a little distracted right now, but the gravity of those words hit home. A heat. He'd almost forgotten. He was going to go through a heat. That put a fresh fear in him.
"I'm really proud of you." Bodhi smiled. He gently folded Johnny's gown down and pulled up the blankets. "Try and get some rest."
Johnny didn't get any rest at all. His chest hurt, and his nipples especially ached. He had to sleep on his stomach because laying on his back with a plug in his ass was just not an option. His chest tingled and itched under the weight of his body.
Worse than that he felt every inch of that horrible plug inside of him. He felt the barely there stretch of where his hole couldn't quite close. He felt the knot nestled between his cheeks. He felt full and bloated and it was terrible and distracting to just lay there with his ass full.
Once or twice he reached behind himself under the blankets to slide a hand between his ass cheeks. He felt the knot sticking out him and it was so odd to touch.
Every time Johnny nodded off, he suddenly awoke fully aware of his discomfort. Sometime in the middle of the night he started to get a sour stomach. He cradled his belly in his hands. His mouth filled up with spit and his insides churned. It felt remarkably like getting food poisoning.
He kind of felt like he needed to get the plug out and that if he did, he might feel better. He kept waiting and waiting for a nurse to come in so he could ask for help removing it, but no nurse came. Johnny nodded off and woke up again, stomach aching and hole pulsing in pain. He turned over and whimpered into his pillow.
He woke to a grey light out the window and tossed, turned, moaned in pain, and then fell back to a barely-there sleep. Finally, Bodhi woke him, shaking him gently by the shoulder.
"Morning, Johnny," He greeted happily. His hair was wet and the sky outside the window was grey with rainclouds.
Johnny felt like crying for the first time in a week. He pushed the feeling down and quickly reached out for Bodhi's wrist instead, snatching it up and squeezing.
"Take it out," he begged pathetically. "Please, God, Bodhi. Take it out."
Bodhi's happy expression shifted immediately to concern. "Sure, Johnny. Just relax."
He had to wait for Johnny to release the death grip on his arm. He quickly went to turn down the blankets and turn up Johnny's gown. It was almost an afterthought when he hurried to snap on latex gloves.
"Just lay there on your stomach, Johnny. Spread your legs," he instructed.
Johnny buried his face in the pillow and spread his legs, ankles on either side of the bed. He felt Bodhi's hand on the small of his back, and then fingers worming between his cheeks to grasp for the knot of the plug.
"Relax," Bodhi told him.
Johnny tried, he really tried. He felt a gentle tug on the plug and cried out. It didn't hurt exactly but his body wasn't ready for the sudden change.
"It's okay, Johnny. Just let go." There was another tug on the plug. Johnny's hole stretched, straining painfully. He made fists in the bed sheets and pushed as hard as he could, forcing the horrible plug out of him. Bodhi pulled it free, and it came out with a wet squish.
Johnny groaned in relief.
"Sit still," Bodhi said, "Don't move."
Oh, he had no intention of moving. His asshole felt like it was gaping wide and he was sure he could feel air wafting in. He squeezed his hole closed and it ached.
Johnny heard Bodhi's shoes on the tile floor of his room, moving from one place to another.
"Johnny stay still. I'm going to insert my fingers," he said, and Johnny had no time to react before wet, gloved fingers were being pushed into his gaping hole. He whimpered at first but then felt that they were soothingly cool. His aches eased a little, and a gentle tingling replaced the pain. Then he felt nothing at all, not even the slow pumping of Bodhi's fingers in and out, coating his insides with medicine.
"This is just some salve," Bodhi explained. "It'll help with the discomfort."
Johnny groaned with relief.
"Rough night, huh?" Bodhi asked, snapping off his gloves off as he finished administering the salve. He went to find some wipes and started to wipe Johnny up.
Johnny noticed that it felt particularly wet as Nurse Bodhi wiped him. "Did it work?" He asked in a groan.
Bodhi offered a sympathetic laugh. "No, not yet. The wetness you feel is the lube I used to slick the plug last night."
Johnny felt something like devastation at the news. "I wore it all night," He gasped, pushing himself up on his elbows. It had hurt like hell. He had wanted it out. He had waited for a nurse to come and none did otherwise he would have made them remove it. "I wore it all night and it didn't even work?"
Bodhi helped smooth Johnny's gown down. "It'll take a few times-"
Johnny made a horrible noise and looked away. "Oh god."
"It's okay, Johnny. Just let the salve work. I'll give you your enema later. We can talk in the evening about whether you want to take another plug."
They went through the rest of their morning routine as usual. Johnny was too dismayed to feel any discomfort or shame.
quick question for everyone reading, please let me know in the comments if you would prefer if things continued going relatively well for johnny or if you'd prefer a little more pain and torture for him as seen in earlier chapters. everyone's opinions are very much appreciated. thanks to anyone still reading and sticking with this fic despite my long absences.
Johnny napped for half the morning. He'd gotten so little sleep the night before, he needed the rest. Even after his nap he didn't feel rested, just exhausted. He went to lunch in a dazed state, numbly eating and zoning out as conversation continued on around him. The afternoon slipped right through his fingers. Before he knew it, it was gone. Evening had fallen and he was shifting uncomfortably in his bed, trying not to scratch his chest and tender nipples raw as he waited for Bodhi to arrive.
Bodhi showed up nearly half an hour early. He didn't have his cart with him either. He came and knocked politely on the door with no needles, no plugs, no nothing. Somehow that was more disconcerting than it should be. Even though Johnny didn't want to be subject to any more other humiliating medical treatments, Bodhi being empty handed was too much of a break in the routine. It unsettled him.
"What's going on?" Johnny asked, sitting up a little.
"Nothing's going on," Bodhi told him kindly. He pulled the only chair in the room up to the bed, chair legs scraping across the tile floor. "I thought we could talk."
Johnny frowned a little. "Talk?"
"Uh huh." Bodhi sat down in the chair and crossed one leg over the other, resting his right ankle on his left knee. "I know you had a tough night. I told you this morning we could discuss whether you take another plug or not. So, let's discuss it."
Johnny sighed. "Why bother? You'll make me, won't you?"
"No." Bodhi shook his head. "I won't make you do anything. I hope I'll be able to convince you, though."
Johnny looked over at him. Bodhi's concern still tugged at his heartstrings even after weeks of being doted on. He was a good nurse who did his job well. It felt wrong to be frustrated with him.
He gave in. "Okay, convince me."
"I'll admit, I have a plan," Bodhi told him with a soft smile. "Since I haven't given you an enema yet today, I thought we could do a live culture enema. I'll fill the water with the same strain of bacteria that the plug is infused with, you'll hold it for twenty to thirty minutes and then let it out. I'll plug you up afterwards and you can wear the plug again tonight. Hopefully the combination of efforts will kickstart your body's mucus production and we won't need to do this again tomorrow."
"That's your plan?" Johnny asked. "Two things I definitely don't want to do. No thanks, pass."
"Ah, but there's more," Bodhi countered.
Johnny wasn't sure he wanted to hear more.
"Before the enema I'll give you an extra dosage of pain medication and a sleep aid. Tonight, you won't feel any discomfort and you'll get your full eight hours." Nurse Bodhi offered a pleasant smile. "Does that sound like a fair trade?"
Johnny looked down at his purple blanket. He ran his thumb over the threads as if they were particularly interesting. He thought it over. Sleeping through the night would be great. If the pain killers really blocked out the discomfort of the plug, then it wouldn't really be like wearing one. He could maybe do that.
"I guess... but you have to actually send in a nurse tonight." He glanced up. "If I need help taking the plug out."
Bodhi quirked his head. "No one checked on you last night?" He asked.
"No," Johnny said sullenly.
"I'll talk to the head nurse about that. That shouldn't have happened," Bodhi said very seriously. He stood up. "I'm going to grab some supplies. I'll mention it now."
Johnny looked up. "Oh... okay. Thanks?"
It still felt so weird when Bodhi did exactly as he asked. It wasn’t just that he was kind or considerate, it was that he always went out of his way to do things for Johnny. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't it be omegas doting on alphas? Wasn’t that the way the world worked?
To be very fair, Bodhi was still the one in a position of power here. So much so that he had Johnny agreeing to wear another horrible plug all night long, and even take an enema and hold it for thirty minutes. It very quickly dawned on Johnny that this was going to suck. A lot.
Bodhi was gone for a long time. The longer he was gone, the more anxious Johnny felt. Waiting was half the torture, really. Once the enemas and prostate milkings and other procedures were done, they didn't seem so bad. Lying in bed and listening to the snap of gloves or the click of lube was the worst part. Johnny's heart leapt up to his throat when he heard the squeaky cart wheels sliding down the hall. He had to remember to breathe.
Bodhi joined him in his room again. His cart was piled high. Johnny couldn't even name all the things he saw on it. The enema equipment stood out though. Bodhi approached the bed with a clipboard in hand. He showed it to Johnny. It looked like a spreadsheet was clipped to the top. He recognized hand written numbers and checkmarks.
"You were checked three different times last night; 11pm, 2am, and 5am. They marked you as sleeping soundly." He pointed to different boxes and checkmarks.
Johnny frowned. He knew he'd been dozing on and off, but he was sure someone opening the door would have woken him last night. Had he really missed the nurse each time?
"Oh... sorry, I..."
"Johnny I'm showing you this because I want you to know we're looking out for you here," Bodhi explained. "Even when I'm not on the clock there are nurses who care about you. You don't have to apologize, I just want you to know that we're here for you."
Johnny swallowed and nodded. "Okay, I get it."
"There's going to be nothing to worry about tonight," Bodhi promised him. He took the clipboard away and set it aside.
Johnny wished those words comforted him more. He was still definitely worried about how things would go tonight. He couldn't help it.
Bodhi picked up a cup of pills and brought it over. He showed the contents to Johnny. "The clear blue ones are the pain meds. The opaque blue ones are sleeping aids."
Johnny had never had any problems taking pills. They seemed so safe compared to everything else he had to endure here. He just popped them in his mouth and forgot about them. None of them had caused any nasty side effects either. The hormones thinned his pubic hair and made his chest itch, but the cocktail of drugs he took in the morning left no impression at all. Of all the things he was nervous about he wasn't nervous to take these.
"How soon do the sleeping pills work?" He asked, taking the cup.
"Fairly quickly," Bodhi told him. "You might be feeling a little drowsy during the enema."
Johnny hesitated. He remembered the needle they stuck him with in the hospital. It knocked him out. He woke up covered in piss, drooling on himself, unable to speak. Unable to say no. He knew that Bodhi wouldn’t do anything to him that he didn’t want, but there was still a very real fear gnawing at his guts.
"I'll be able to wake up, right?" He swallowed nervously. "If something happens." He knew it was a poorly worded and vague question. He just wasn't sure how else to articulate what he was afraid of.
"Have you ever taken nighttime cough medicine before?" Bodhi asked, helpfully making the comparison. "These'll make you sleepy like that but they're not going to knock you out."
Johnny looked up at Bodhi. He trusted him. He knocked back the cup of pills and chased it with a sip of water. He took a deep breath. "What now?"
"Now you sit back and relax while I mix up a culture enema," Bodhi told him with a smile.
Johnny scooted into a more comfortable spot on the bed. He watched warily as Bodhi picked up a few things from his cart, including the enema equipment. He carried everything into the bathroom. Johnny found himself taking long, slow, deep breaths to feel calm as he watched the nurse ready things. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of running water.
Bodhi shook his shoulder gently. "Can you get into the sims position, Johnny?"
Johnny hadn't fallen asleep, but almost. He blinked rapidly, trying to shake the grogginess. His head felt weird, like he was swimming underwater or in a dream. He slowly turned on his side and got into position.
"tired..." he mumbled.
"That's okay, Johnny. The enema will be done in no time at all and then you can rest."
Johnny closed his eyes again. He was breathing slow. He heard Bodhi's voice from far away but couldn't make sense of the words. His gown was lifted, and his cheeks were parted. Something entered his hole, wet and cold. He groaned in his groggy state. A second later and the enema nozzle was being pushed into him. It didn't feel as big as usual.
"Johnny." Bodhi roused him. "Do you know what a bardex nozzle is?"
Johnny groaned, a noise that sort of sounded like the word 'no'.
"It's an inflatable nozzle," Bodhi explained. "It has a small balloon that I can fill with air. It'll keep the water inside of you. I'm going to go ahead and inflate it. It might feel a little uncomfortable."
Johnny heard the words, and understood them, but he was too tired to be concerned. He heard a noise, like the pumping of a bulb on an air pressure cuff. All of a sudden, he felt a fat lump inside his rectum like there was a rock up there or something. Another puff of air and he cried out. There was something huge inside of him.
He felt nurse Bodhi patting his hip. "It's okay, Johnny. You're okay," He said soothingly.
Johnny hated this.
"I'm going to start the flow." Bodhi told him. There was a quiet click. Johnny felt something cool rushing into him. Usually the enemas he got in the mornings were body temperature. This one wasn't. He groaned in discomfort. He really, really hated this.
"May I touch your stomach?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny made a dismissive noise. He didn't care. He felt the nurse's gloved hand gently touching his belly, rubbing soothing circles into it. It was a pleasant distraction from the fat balloon blowing up his insides and the cool enema solution sloshing into him. The fuzziness of sleep crept up on him again despite all the discomforts. Johnny was fading...
"Johnny," Bodhi gently shook his shoulder again. He had no idea how much time had passed. "You took the whole enema. Can you move onto your back for me?"
Johnny didn't so much move as let Bodhi move him. He was turned onto his back. The ceiling lights seemed brighter and so he closed his eyes tight. His stomach felt full, and his ass did too. He groaned. "Bathroom..."
"You need to hold this one for a full thirty minutes," Bodhi told him. "Keep resting. I'll wake you again when the time's up. I'm going to keep massaging your belly, alright?"
Johnny didn't bother replying. He felt his gown being pushed up. The quiet snap of gloves confused him because Bodhi already had gloves on. It wasn't until he felt the nurse's bare hands on his stomach that he understood. Bodhi continued his gentle rubbing from before. He dug his fingers into Johnny's abdomen in a few different places. The pressure felt weird, but it didn't hurt. It almost tickled to be touched there.
Sleepily, he reached down and caught Bodhi's wrist.
"Everything okay?" Bodhi asked.
"Your hand's hairy," Johnny mumbled, fading out again. "Furry Alpha... like... a big teddy bear."
He thought he heard Bodhi laughing softly, but he was falling asleep again, so he wasn't sure.
Johnny felt himself being jostled and he faded back in again. He had an arm over Bodhi's shoulder, and they were headed towards the bathroom. He was hobbling pathetically, inflated nozzle still filling his ass.
Bodhi helped him sit down on the toilet and then spread his legs. Johnny had the good sense to be embarrassed but this whole thing felt like a dream, not real enough to feel any true mortification. The pressure in his hole decreased suddenly and the deflated nozzle was pulled free. Johnny began releasing the enema solution at once. Bodhi stayed in the bathroom with him, kneeling in the tiled floor, gently rubbing circles into his stomach.
"You don't have to do that," Johnny mumbled in dreamy confusion.
Bodhi looked up at him. He smiled. "Let me help you, Johnny."
Johnny sat back and closed his eyes. He hoped he wouldn't remember this in the morning. For now he didn't mind.
When he was empty, Bodhi helped clean him up. They walked back over to the bed. Johnny couldn't quite climb into it on his own. He was unsteady on his feet thanks to the sleeping meds.
"Let me." Bodhi scooped Johnny up in his arms. It was no small feat, Johnny was a big guy. He wasn't the typical little omega, he was tall and had thick muscles. It was impressive that Bodhi could pick him up at all, especially bridal style, and set him down in the bed.
"Can you turn the lights out?" Johnny asked softly.
"Not yet, we need to insert the bacterial infused plug," Bodhi reminded him.
Johnny groaned again.
"C'mon, let's get in the sims position." Bodhi did most of the work and helped move him. Johnny ended up on his side with his knee pulled up yet again. If he was fully awake, he would have been a little sick of this. As it happened, he was too sleepy to care.
Bodhi explained he was going to lube Johnny up, and he did it in the same quick and easy way he always did. Johnny felt oddly loose. He thought that would make the plug go in easily, but it didn't. Bodhi talked him through it the whole way. Johnny found himself grunting in pain as the flexible little cone was inserted into his body. When he was filled all the way up to his guts, nurse Bodhi gave him a pat.
His resolve to stay awake was definitely crumbling. He barely even noticed his hormone shot. Even with his hole filled he was nodding off. Bodhi said something to him, goodnight maybe, and he turned out the lights. Johnny was out as soon as they lights were.
tags have been updated to include wet dream, wet & messy, and self-lubrication. it's gettin wet af from here on out.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Johnny was on his hands and knees in the sand. The beach felt soft under the weight of his body. Bodhi was behind him, fat alpha cock pressed deep inside of him. It felt good. Johnny whined pathetically for more, for movement, for friction, for anything other than just the impending presence of a dick in his ass. He was so close to orgasm, so close to release. He just needed a little more.
Waves rolled in, foaming at the shore. Sand was caked against his forearms. He was dripping wet all over, soaked from having been out in the water. He looked back, over his right shoulder.
Bodhi was wearing his scrubs on the beach. He was as handsome as ever, all soft brown curls and a rasp of dark stubble. He had a firm grip on Johnny’s hips, his hands a comfortable weight.
"Johnny," Bodhi addressed him. "Do you know what an alpha’s knot is?"
Johnny did but when he groaned, the noise sort of sounded like the word 'no'.
"It's located at the base of my cock," Bodhi explained. "It a small knot that grows and expands during sexual intercourse. It'll keep my seed inside of you. I'm going to go ahead and knot you. It might feel a little uncomfortable."
Johnny wasn’t scared. He knew Bodhi wouldn’t hurt him. He knew enough about knots to know they were actually supposed to feel good. That omega’s like him were supposed to crave them. That’s what he was now, wasn’t he? An omega. An omega who needed Bodhi’s cock deep inside him, filling him not just with its size and girth but with hot come, and a fat knot to keep it all locked inside. He wanted it. He needed it to come. His orgasm was tightly coiled inside of him, ready to burst free.
“Knot me,” he begged. “Knot me, Bodhi. I can take it. Knot me.”
The rumbling, possessive growl that came from Bodhi was enough to make Johnny arch up in climax. He clenched tight around the hardness stuffed inside him. Come came spurting out of his own cock, painting the purple sheets.
He wasn’t on the beach, he was in bed.
Johnny sat up suddenly in a panic, ripped from his dream. His heart was thumping like crazy in his chest. He wasn’t sleepy, or even groggy. He was awake and aware of everything. He had orgasmed for real and came all over himself. It was a mess in his gown and in the sheets.
That wasn’t all though. The sheets were soaked. Soaked all the way through to the mattress. He tried to push them off, but they clung wetly to his thighs. Tears prickled up in his eyes and he didn’t even know why he was on the verge of crying, it just seemed like the thing to do.
“Morning Johnny,” Bodhi said, coming in through the doorway. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh woah.” He brought an arm up to cover his nose and mouth with the crook of his elbow.
Johnny started crying in earnest.
From seemingly out of nowhere, although it was likely a back pocket, nurse Bodhi produced a disposable surgical mask. He slipped it on before entering the room. He went straight to Johnny’s side to help him, reaching out to squeeze his hand first. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
“What’s wrong with me?” Johnny asked before he could stop himself. It was a stupid question and he knew it. He’d been laden with his official diagnosis for well over a month now; a late onset transition. He knew exactly what was wrong with him.
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Bodhi promised, bundling up the sticky wet sheets and disposing of them. “In fact, this is exactly what we wanted to happen.” He was smiling behind his mask, visible only by the soft crinkles around his eyes.
“This?” Johnny asked incredulously. He pushed the palms of his hands into his own eyes, rubbing away his tears. “You wanted me to ruin the bed?”
“I wanted you to start producing your own slick, and you certainly have.” The way Bodhi said it was so good natured, almost like a joke. Johnny was still too close to crying to laugh. “C’mon, let’s get that plug out of you.”
Johnny realized then that he had completely forgotten about the plug inside of him. The thought terrified him. Two days ago, wearing a plug was so damn uncomfortable he couldn’t stand it, and now he barely felt it. Even though the mattress was a damp mess he still eagerly assumed the position on top of it. He wanted this thing out of him.
Bodhi pulled on a pair of gloves and pulled the plug free, carefully narrating as he went so there would be no surprises. Johnny felt pressure, and an incredible emptiness as it left him, but no pain. Slick leaked down the cleft of his ass cheek, and down his thigh. He winced at the sensation. He couldn’t control it, it just came out.
“This is great, Johnny,” Bodhi said from behind him. “This is really great. The fluid is nice and clear and you’re producing plenty of it on your own.”
“No more plugs or culture enemas for you, you did it.”
“Great,” Johnny muttered.
He wished he could feel as proud as Bodhi seemed to be. Instead he wanted to crawl in a hole and die. This was miserable. Was he really going to have to deal with this for the rest of his life?
“I’m going to insert two fingers very briefly just to have a quick feel inside and make sure everything’s okay.” Nurse Bodhi told him.
Johnny nodded, resigned to whatever Bodhi wanted to do to him. He felt the presence of something at his hole, and a slight pressure, but it wasn’t like usual. Bodhi’s fingers slipped right into him, easy as could be.
“Oh,” Bodhi whispered, and for once he didn’t sound purely academic as he spoke. “Wow, nice and slick.”
Johnny felt his stomach twist and his cock stir, despite his recent orgasm. Something about those words, and the tone of Bodhi’s voice, it hit him hard. He remembered his dream, of being on his hands and knees on the beach, begging Bodhi to knot him. He bit his lip, suddenly terrified of what all this meant. He wanted Bodhi to stop and to step away, so he could distance himself from these feelings. At the same time, he wanted more; three fingers, a fist, a fat alpha cock...
Another rush of warm slick pulsed from his hole. It slipped out from between Bodhi’s fingers, wetting Johnny’s thighs and even more of the mattress. Johnny groaned in horror at his own body.
Bodhi pulled his fingers free and shed his glistening gloves into the trash bin. “Why don’t you go take a shower and wash some of that off.” He suggested. “I’ll change the bedding while you’re gone.”
Johnny agreed. He desperately wanted to clean himself up. He crawled out of bed, slick trickling down his legs. Not even caring that Bodhi was still in the room, he stripped off his come stained hospital gown and mopped up his thighs. The soft lavender of the fabric turned dark purple where it was wet, and splotches of dark purple covered the gown as Johnny threw it away in the same trash bin as everything else.
He got himself a new gown, and the standard issue lavender boxers and soft pants to change into when his shower was over. He brought everything he needed with him and left Bodhi to take care of the mess in his room, still ashamed of himself that he’d made one.
Johnny was incredibly glad he was alone in the showers. He scrubbed himself clean between his thighs and the crack of his ass. It was easy to pretend the slick was just water and that made it less harrowing to be completely covered in it.
Unable to fight the hard-on that had formed from having Bodhi’s fingers inside of him, Johnny jerked off instead. He closed his eyes and stood under the shower spray and tried to think of something other than his beach dream. He really shouldn’t be having sexual fantasies about his nurse. He knew that; logically, he knew it would only complicate things. Except when he came, he was thinking of Bodhi’s smiling face, and the soft curl that sometimes sprang from his tight bun, and the way he had whispered “Oh,” as he sank his two fingers in to Johnny’s body.
Johnny’s orgasm sucked. It really sucked. It amounted to two weak splats of come and a feeling of terrible emptiness inside him. His hole clenched again and again at nothing as more slick pulsed from it. Johnny washed it away again.
When he came back to his room, blonde hair still dripping wet from his shower, it was blissfully clean. The trash had been emptied, the bed had been changed and new pale purple sheets were tucked into the fresh mattress. Bodhi was there waiting for him, mask free, and he had a box in his hands.
Johnny didn’t even want to know what it was.
“It will be a good idea to wear these for the next few days,” Bodhi told him, passing over the box of absorbent sanitary napkins.
Johnny burned flush red and was about to open his mouth and loudly refuse, but Bodhi was right. He had no control over this slick, this mucus or whatever. It just leaked out of him. With his luck he would soak through his pants again before breakfast.
He stood stock still for a long minute, burning with shame, staring at the box in his hands. He’d never used these things before. He’d seen them around the apartment. Jeff needed them sometimes, like most omegas do when it’s close to their heat. Johnny had even been a good best friend and picked up a box at the store once or twice when Jeff was in desperate need. He just didn’t know how they worked.
“Would you like me to show you how to use it?” Bodhi offered.
Johnny barked out a laugh, too deeply humiliated to sound genuine. This was fine, he thought to himself. This was totally fine. He was going to drop fucking dead of embarrassment in front of the latest object of his affections, but it was totally and completely fine.
“Well, I guess so because I’ve got no idea what the hell I’m doing,” He admitted.
Bodhi, as always, was kind and understanding. They went together to the bathroom where Johnny lowered his pants and boxers. Thankfully the gown he was wearing hung down low enough to hide his nudity. Bodhi took one if the absorbent pads out of the box and showed him how to unwrap it and peel back the purple paper backing. He demonstrated how to line the sticky side up with the seam of his boxers. It stuck fast to his clothing. Johnny pulled his boxers back up and was deeply disturbed to find he could feel it between his legs. It was... annoying.
“Unfortunately, the care center doesn’t have the most luxurious of supplies, so these aren’t as absorbent as most,” Bodhi told him when it was finally done. “You’ll probably want to check and change it every few hours.”
Johnny was still blushing shamefully. He nodded in reply because he couldn’t find the words to speak at the moment. “Thanks,” He muttered.
“You’ve had a rough morning.” Bodhi put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder as he spoke. “Why don’t you go downstairs and eat some breakfast in the cafeteria, clear your head a little.”
The words left unspoken were that they were going to skip their morning routine for now. No temperature taking, no prostate milking, no more shameful or humiliating procedures for at least a few hours.
Johnny was so grateful he wanted to give Bodhi a hug. Instead he nodded his head, turned on his heels, and left his room. He found that walking with the stupid sanitary napkin thing in his pants was even worse than standing around with it in there. He was sure he could hear it crinkling. If he could, then everyone else could, and that horror made him want to cry again.
ok i just want to say i'm like uhh floored? by the kindness and patience everyone has dealing with my slow updates. also, all the comments are really appreciated, they definitely keep me going/motivated to finish this. this is such a self indulgent fic; i never thought anyone else would enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy writing it, so i'm really glad i have such nice readers. and on that note, i have good news. i have been writing steadily for a week straight and have 15K+ and 4 more chapters written (though they still need to be reread and edited). i'm going to keep on writing basically nonstop until i finish this.
since you were here last i went through and reread the entire fic and cleaned up some typos. i also combined two chapters (i believe 7 and 8?) because they were both small and made one nicer sized chapter. thanks everyone for waiting. sorry i'm like this.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Johnny soaked through his first absorbency pad in no time and had to shamefully head back to his room to change it before anyone saw. Thankfully by midday his incessant leaking tapered off and he was able to eat lunch and spend time in the courtyard without worrying about wetness every five seconds. He had always thought there was some way to control it, like a muscle he could tense or something. Apparently not.
This was, by far, the worst thing he’d had to endure since his hospitalization began. Maybe because he knew it wouldn’t stop. Enemas were only for a few minutes, even the plug he wore was only for a few hours, but this was for life. He was just going to get wet like this all the time. This was his new normal. He would get used to it eventually, he knew, he just wasn’t sure if he was comforted by that idea or not.
Bodhi came to find him after dinner. “I’m coming to collect,” He said playfully, nudging Johnny in the arm as they walked towards the stairwell.
Johnny blanched a little, suddenly afraid of what that meant. Collect what? His slick? As a sample or something?
“Your enema and prostate milking this morning?” Bodhi’s eyebrows went up. “We skipped them. You’re due.”
Johnny deflated a little with both relief and reluctance. Relief that he wouldn’t have his bodily fluids bottled, but reluctance because he still didn’t like getting enemas. “Oh, right.”
The squeaky metal cart was already waiting for him in his room, loaded with the usual equipment. Johnny sighed heavily and went to his bed. He paused when he saw some type of sheet laid out over the mattress. He reached out to touch it and was absolutely mortified to find it was an absorbent material like those puppy pads used for potty training dogs.
Bodhi caught on to what he was looking at and offered a supportive smile. “We’ll keep that on the bed during treatment, just to keep things from getting messy, but you won’t have sleep with it on there or anything.”
Sleep with it? He wasn’t even thinking about sleeping with it! There was something so degrading about this. Why not just slap a collar on his throat and force him to eat from a bowl? If he couldn’t even control his bodily functions, he was no better than an untrained dog. Even though it felt that way, he knew this was necessary. He vividly remembered waking up this morning, sopping wet, and he knew having something absorbent on the bed would help. It didn’t make him feel good about any of this though.
“Great,” He muttered, face burning warm with the heat of embarrassment.
“Why don’t you take off your boxers and get in the sims position while I ready the enema.” Bodhi suggested.
Yeah, yeah. Johnny knew the drill. He took his boxers off and unstuck the pad from inside, throwing it away. He sat down on his bed, wincing at the way the absorbent material crinkled. He stared at the silver cart as he sat and waited, occasionally glancing over his shoulder to see Bodhi dutifully filling the red rubber enema bag at the bathroom sink.
When he came out, toting the bag in hand, it was bulging and glistening with droplets of water beaded on the outside. Johnny could see white bubbles foaming at the top spout of the bag. He frowned. These stupid enemas were getting soapier and soapier by the day. They were harder to hold the soapier they were. That didn't stop Bodhi from pushing him, always telling him to take even more and hold it even longer.
Johnny was so ready to get out of this place and never have another enema again for the rest of his life. In that moment, he was grateful for all this awful slick he was producing. It meant he was one step closer to getting out of here. That was pretty much the only good thing about it.
As Bodhi hung the enema bag from a metal stand and affixed the hose, Johnny moved to lay down on his side. He pulled his knee up like he was supposed to, exposing himself. He was surprised by how wet he felt. He also noticed the gross feeling of the temperate air steadily cooling the slick that coated his hole.
"Alright," Bodhi said as he pulled on a pair of latex gloves and a surgical mask similar to the one from this morning. "We're going to try something a little different."
Johnny definitely didn't like the sound of that. "What?" He asked, forcing himself not to sound too concerned.
“Since you're producing your own slick, we shouldn't need any lube," Bodhi explained.
A hot jolt of fear raced through Johnny's body and he swallowed reflexively. No lube? Wouldn't that hurt? To be fair he was wet with slick, but he’d never taken anything inside of his body that wasn’t lubed first so he was reasonably alarmed.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes." Bodhi was already reaching out to move Johnny's gown out of the way a little more. "I'm going to go slow and easy. If it's at all painful, I'll stop. I want you to be vocal and clear about any discomfort, alright?"
Johnny closed his eyes, very tempted to refuse. He was sure Bodhi would lube the enema nozzle if he asked. At the same time, he knew Bodhi wouldn't hurt him. Not really. The very least he could do was try.
"Okay," He agreed despite himself.
"Good," Bodhi praised him. "I'm going to coat the nozzle in some of your slick, alright? You'll be able to feel it."
Johnny did feel it, the smooth plastic touching his skin around his hole. It was feather light, almost soft enough to tickle. Almost. For some reason the sensation of being touched back there made more slick trickle from him. He could feel his hole getting wetter.
“Oh, that’s perfect, Johnny.” Bodhi voice dipped low.
Johnny closed his eyes tighter, determined not to be turned on by that tone nurse Bodhi was using. He hated that he got hard and came almost every time they released fluid from his prostate, the last thing he wanted was to gush with wetness every time Bodhi complimented him.
“Bare down for me while I insert the nozzle,” Bodhi instructed.
Johnny complied. He was surprised by the way the bulbous head of the nozzle slipped right into him. It was almost never that easy. His insides were quickly filled with white plastic, and it went deeper into his body than he would have liked but all in all that was the easiest time he’d ever had taking an enema nozzle.
“Wow,” Bodhi mused thoughtfully. He seemed a little surprised too. “This is great. You’re doing so well. I’ll turn on the flow now, just relax.”
He must have unhanded the nuzzle to turn and unclamp the hose, because the white plastic came slipping right back out the way it came. Johnny made a surprised sort of noise and tried to clench tight around it to keep it in. He was not interested in repeating the insertion process. Bodhi noticed it quickly and moved to still the nozzle from sliding out any further.
“What was that?” Johnny asked. He hadn’t even been pushing or anything, it just… slid out of him.
Bodhi took all of this in stride. “It’s alright, that happens sometimes,” He assured. “Let me slide it back into place.” He waited a moment before pressing the nozzle in again, forcing it even deeper than before. Johnny grimaced. “I’ll just need to hold it is all.”
He clicked off the clamp on the hose and this time he held onto the nozzle, just like he said he would. Johnny was familiar with the feeling, because Bodhi stood and held the rectal thermometer in place every morning when his temperature was taken. It was as awkward then as it was now. He stared out across the room towards the window as water slowly filled him, forcing his belly to grow big and round. As usual, Bodhi requested permission to touch Johnny’s stomach and after getting it he used one hand to rub gentle circles into his skin. He applied soft pressure in certain areas.
“I’m full,” Johnny complained after a while.
“Can you take a little more?” Bodhi asked him.
Johnny shook his head. “No.”
“Just a little? You’ve almost taken the whole bag.”
Johnny had never taken the whole bag before. Even after two weeks of trying he always ended up calling it quits just before it was completely empty. He shifted his leg, moving it to give his belly more room to bulge. He waited two more seconds and then he was done for real.
“I can’t. Please, Bodhi-”
Right as he finished speaking, he heard an odd gurgling noise. He realized it was the enema bag emptying.
“Hey, you did it,” Bodhi said with a very fond, sincere happiness that bordered on reverence. “That’s two whole quarts. Excellent job, Johnny.”
His happiness and pride were somewhat contagious. Miserable and full as he felt, Johnny had to chew his bottom lip to keep even a small smile from spreading. The feeling didn’t last very long though. The soapy water was making his insides itch, and he wanted to relieve some of the pain and pressure as soon as possible.
“How long do I have to hold it?”
“Fifteen minutes,” Bodhi told him, and then the negotiations began.
“Five,” Johnny said again with a little more force.
“Five, and we’ll see how you’re feeling,” Bodhi allowed.
That usually meant he’d have to hold it for another three minutes; eight in total.
Bodhi continued his gentle tummy rubs as the five minutes slowly ticked away. The smooth latex of his glove felt soft against Johnny’s skin. He closed his eyes and breathed through the discomfort. Once or twice Bodhi minutely shifted the nozzle as he held it in place and Johnny was acutely aware of it each time.
When the five minutes were up, Bodhi let him know. “Do you think you can hold it a little longer?” He urged.
Yeah, he probably could. He just didn’t want to. “Maybe another minute.”
“Yeah, I think you can.” Bodhi said, gently rubbing Johnny’s belly. “You’re doing well.”
Johnny waited as patiently as he could, steadily growing more and more desperate to release the enema. Bodhi usually told him after another two minutes were up, and then made another ploy to get him to retain it for an extra minute. Except he didn’t say anything, and Johnny was left lying there with the enema inside of him for what felt like ages.
“…How long has it been?” He asked.
“Almost eleven minutes.”
Johnny’s eyes went wide. “What?” Had it really been ten whole minutes?
“See, I knew you could hold it,” Bodhi said, all too pleased. "Let’s get that nozzle out of you and I’ll help you to the bathroom.“
Johnny knew from experience that it hurt to clench up tight as the nozzle was removed, but he also knew from experience that if he was too lax water could leak out. Even with the absorbent pads on the bed, he had absolutely no interest in leaking enema solution all over himself. So, despite the pain he clenched up tight as Bodhi pulled the nozzle free.
Still clenching, Johnny levered himself to sit up. The slosh of water shifting around inside of him made his face scrunch up. He hated that feeling. He had to wait a second for the feeling to pass before he could climb out of bed. Bodhi was right by his side, carefully helping him along.
Johnny hurried to the toilet and expelled the water as soon as he was sitting on it. Relief washed over him with each passing second, and he grew relaxed as the enema solution left his body. There was so much inside of him, it took a long time to empty it all back out.
As he was releasing the enema, he suddenly remembered sitting here just like this last night. Bodhi had been in the bathroom with him. Johnny’s relief was immediately replaced with white hot embarrassment as he recalled the vague details of last night’s enema experience. He’d been so sleepy. Oh, God. He’d said such dumb stuff; he’d called Bodhi a teddy bear. He put his face in his hands and groaned.
He was very tempted to stay in the bathroom all night, hiding from Bodhi. How was he supposed to face him now that he remembered the things he’d said? His plan to stay in the bathroom and never emerge again for the rest of his life was quickly laid to waste as Bodhi came knocking at the door.
"Johnny? Everything alright in there?”
No, Johnny thought. “Yes,” he called and started cleaning himself up. When he came out his face was beet red and he couldn’t even bring himself to look Bodhi in the eye.
“Hey, are you okay?” Bodhi stopped him. He brought his fingers to Johnny’s forehead. “You’re a little warm.”
“I’m fine,” Johnny insisted, turning his head away. “Can we just hurry and finish up?”
Bodhi hesitated before nodding. He gestured towards the bed. “Sure, go ahead and get in the knee chest position for me.”
Johnny climbed back into bed. Instead of the relative comfort of laying on his side, he got on his elbows and knees on the mattress. He knew to spread his knees and put his face down on the pillow, opening himself up to Bodhi as much as possible. He was kind of glad he could hide his red face by pressing it into the pillowcase. Big fuzzy alpha, like a teddy bear. Jesus. He couldn’t believe he’d said that. Apparently, these medical procedures weren’t humiliating enough, he had to go on and embarrass himself even more in a whole new way.
Bodhi put on a fresh pair of gloves, and Johnny noticed him adjusting the surgical mask, so it completely covered the bottom half of his face. He took up position behind Johnny and reached out with one hand to rest it on Johnny’s hip.
“You’ve improved so much from when you first came here.” He said it like he was thinking out loud. He used one hand to spread Johnny’s cheeks a little, as if he wasn’t already completely exposed and splayed wide. “You’re looking so healthy and pink back here now.”
“Uh…” Johnny felt like squirming under the scrutiny. He truly never knew what to say when Bodhi told him stuff like that. “Thanks?”
“If you’re ready to get started, I'd like to try and insert my fingers without using any lube,” He said. “It’ll be just like earlier when I inserted the enema nozzle. I’ll go nice and slow, and you’ll let me know if it’s uncomfortable at all. Does that sound okay?”
Johnny nodded. Unlike before, he wasn’t wet this time. He’d literally just come from cleaning himself up in the bathroom. There was no slick on his skin for Bodhi to dip his fingers into. He was worried for a second, afraid that this wouldn’t go as easily as the nozzle had.
“Just relax, I’m going to coax some slick out. You’ll feel some light pressure,” Bodhi told him, and soon after he was touching at Johnny’s hole. Not pressing into it or anything but definitely touching it with intent. Almost like he was trying to massage the muscle with the tip of his finger. It kind of felt good, but it mostly felt weird.
Surprisingly enough, this did elicit a small trickle of slick. Johnny felt it leaking out of him, and he also felt the way Bodhi touched at the wetness with his fingertip. “Good, Johnny. That’s really good.” That was it though, that was all that came out. It was kind of annoying considered how wet he’d been this morning and now that he needed it, he could quite manage to get wet again.
“…sorry.” He found himself muttering, unsure what exactly he was apologizing for.
“That’s okay,” Bodhi assured. “It’s not a race.”
He continued circling Johnny’s puckered hole with his wet fingertip, adding subtle variations to the movements to try and get the reaction he wanted. Johnny took slow deep breaths, thinking maybe if he relaxed it would help. He knew that most omegas got slick when they were turned on and stuff, but he wasn’t exactly turned on at the moment.
He tried to think of things that usually did it for him. He thought back to one of the better blowjobs he’d gotten a few years ago but the memory didn’t particularly move him. He thought about the porn he liked to watch. He kind of had a thing for outdoor sex, but right now the thought of outdoor sex was doing nothing for him. When was the last time he was turned on?
Lately it seemed like the only time he got off was when Bodhi was milking him. Johnny bit his lip. This morning he’d been so hard he had to jerk it in the shower. He thought of Bodhi pumping two fingers in and out of him, and that 'Oh,' noise he made while doing it.
That did it. Johnny’s stomach twisted with arousal and hot slick came oozing out of his hole.
“Good," Bodhi breathed, voice low. "Just like that, Johnny." He coated his gloved fingers with the wetness. "Bare down for me.”
Another rush of warm slick followed; that tone was doing something to him. Johnny pushed, opening himself up as much as he could, and he felt two of Bodhi’s fingers slip in with ease. He groaned a little, not entirely from discomfort either. Bodhi found his prostate with practiced ease. He steadily began massaging with just enough pressure to induce a delicious spike of pleasure in response.
Johnny grew hard, erection rising to poke against his stomach. He felt the pop and release as a rush of prostatic fluid escaped his cock, painting his abs and then dripping from his cockhead. Bodhi continued on. He kept pushing his fingers in and out of Johnny, slick easing the way. The pleasure from his motions grew and grew. A second pop and release had Johnny whimpering softly.
The release of fluid was good, but he wanted to come. He needed it now, in a way he never had before. He ached for it. If Bodhi stopped without finishing him off and awarding him an orgasm he would be devastated. Bodhi didn’t stop, though. He continued milking Johnny’s prostate until he had Johnny clenching his hole, writhing, whimpering with need. Pleasure overwhelmed him, and he reached his climax as Nurse Bodhi milked him dry.
Johnny tightened his grip on the sheets, and his hole cinched tight around Bodhi’s gloved fingers. He came hot and hard, seed spilling out of him. It felt so goddamn good he groaned again, loudly this time.
“Good job, Johnny,” Bodhi told him, repeating the words. His motions slowed and then eventually stopped. He extracted his fingers, glove glistening. "Good job. You did so well.”
Johnny caught his breath, slowly but surely. The pleasure faded, and he was faced with the typical embarrassment that followed his orgasm. After two weeks he should be used to it by now, but he was probably never going to get over coming during a medical procedure. Even when Bodhi assured him it was just a reflex, that it was natural, that it happened to all omegas. Even when he wanted it and needed it, he still blushed hot.
There was slick running down his thighs, dripping down towards his knees. They’d gotten messy enough to need the absorbent material after all. Bodhi went to work cleaning him up. He wiped up all the different fluids, dutifully cleaning any wet skin he found. Johnny didn’t really like this part. He could clean himself up. He never refused, though. It was best just to hang his head and let it happen.
Once he was dry, Johnny shifted his weight off of the absorbent pads, so they could be taken away and thrown in the trash. He collapsed down on the clean bed and pushed down his gown to hide his nudity. Nurse Bodhi started cleaning everything else up. He threw away the messy wipes and his used gloves and his disposable surgical mask.
"Hey, so I’ve got some good news.” He said as coiled the enema hose into a tight circle. “We’re down to one hormone shot a day.”
That actually was good news and not the kind of good news that was like ‘wow, you can take this entire enema’ or 'isn’t this great, your hole is so clean and pink now’ or whatever. Johnny didn’t mind the shots, but it would be nice not to get poked with a needle twice a day.
He smiled a little. “Okay, good.”
“We’re going to go through our treatment routine as usual for the next two or three days and see if you continue producing slick regularly on your own,” Bodhi explained as he readied a hypodermic needle. “If your body stays consistent, we’ll go see Director Hall for a quick exam. With his go ahead, we’ll be able to induce a heat and get you out of here.”
Ugh. A heat. His heat. Johnny was dreading it. “What if it’s, uh, not consistent?”
Bodhi glanced at him. “Nothing to worry about. The worst case at this point is that your slick production is a fluke and you’ll just need to wear the plug a little longer.”
Oh, was that all? More horrible nights wearing that awful plug? Great, so either he had a heat waiting for him which was awful or that miserable plug waiting for him, which was also awful.
As Bodhi approached with the needle, Johnny turned to expose his backside. He got a sharp stick in the cheek and then he was allowed to put his gown back down. He sat up, and watched Bodhi dispose the needle in the biohazard bin.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, anything,” Bodhi came walking back over to give Johnny his full attention.
“What’s going to happen when I go into heat?” He asked awkwardly, wincing a little because it came out sounding all wrong; naive. He more or less knew what was going to happen to him when he went into heat; he’d get really hot and sweaty and horny and beg for an alpha to knot him, or whatever.
He was more wondering what they were going to do to him. “Here at the care center, what do you do for patients in heat?”
“Once your heat kicks in, you’ll be taken over to the secure ward,” Bodhi explained. “It’s a section of the hospital off limits to alphas.”
Johnny nodded. It made sense. He didn’t want to send the alphas on the staff into a mating frenzy. Well, they probably wouldn’t go into a frenzy, but he would certainly attract unwanted attention. Except… Bodhi was an alpha. “Wait, you’re not going to be with me?”
“I’m afraid not,” Bodhi admitted.
Maybe that was a good thing. He already embarrassed himself enough around the guy without being desperate in the throes of heat. Still, he didn’t trust any of the other nurses the way he trusted Bodhi.
“But that’s alright, there are plenty of great omegas and betas who work in that ward. They’ll help you through. I’ve never been into that section of the hospital, and I’ve never participated in heat relief, so I can’t give you specifics but it’s not going to be that much different than our usual treatment.”
Not that much different? More enemas? Or was he going to be milked?
“Are they going to do that thing where they relieve my prostate gland?” Johnny asked.
They probably would. Obviously, Johnny knew that mating, heats and sex were all related. It kind of made sense that they might try and milk his prostate until he came. He just wasn’t sure he wanted a bunch of nurses doing that to him. At least, nurses besides Bodhi.
“Yes, I’m sure they will,” Bodhi nodded. “Prostate orgasms are the best way for male omegas to relieve heat symptoms. They have other conveniences too; artificial pheromones to put you at ease, inflatables - like the bardex enema nozzle we used the other night - that will simulate an alphas knot, machines to help simulate sexual intercourse. There will be all kinds of devices available to you.”
Johnny wasn’t so sure about any of that stuff. He didn’t enjoy the bardex enema the first time and he’d barely been awake to feel it. Simulating sexual intercourse would probably be the most helpful thing but engaging in some type of sex act in front of a nurse sounded like a whole new level of mortification he had yet to reach.
“I don’t have to do any of that stuff, do I?”
“No, of course not. No one is ever going to make you do anything you don’t want to. Though, you might change your mind when your heat starts,” Bodhi pointed out. "The urge to mate is strong, and any type of relief is usually welcomed.”
"I don’t know any of those nurses, though,” Johnny said dejectedly.
He didn’t want to seem pathetic for being afraid, but he had good reason to be. The last OmPreg doctor who had examined him had hurt him, and the other nurses here had forced pills down his throat and a suppository inside of him that he didn’t want. He knew it was all for his own good, and maybe if he hadn’t been drugged, he could have spoken to them and asked them not to. They probably would have complied. Still, he was apprehensive when it came to the other staff members.
“Hey.” Bodhi reached out to gently squeeze his shoulder. “Johnny. Listen to me. Everyone who works here wants the best for you. If it will make you feel better, I can go and see who your nurse will be during your secure ward stay. I can talk to them to make sure they’re gentle and easy with you.”
Johnny sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. No. It’ll be fine, I guess.”
He just had to get over himself. Bodhi was right. This wasn’t the first time he’d pointed out that there were other staff members here who did their best to take care of him. Just the other night he had shown Johnny the clip board with notes about how he had been checked during the night. “We're looking out for you here,” he had said, “even when I'm not on the clock there are nurses who care about you.” Johnny shouldn’t assume the worst of everyone.
“If you change your mind, let me know,” Bodhi told him sincerely. “Is there anything else you have questions or concerns about?”
Unbidden, a somewhat unrelated question popped into his mind. “Yeah. What’s with the mask?” He had to admit, he was curious.
Bodhi paused, and an amused expression crossed his face. “Here at the care center it’s recommended that all alphas wear masks when performing treatments or procedures on omegas that put them in direct contact with slick,” He explained. “Your scent it a lot stronger now, so really it’s just a precaution.”
Johnny made a face, pulling his head back in confusion. “My scent?” He didn’t even notice he had one and he certainly hadn’t been able to tell if it had grown stronger. Did he smell like an omega now? Was he affecting Bodhi in some way? “What does it smell like?” He asked before he could stop himself.
Bodhi smiled and thought for a moment. “It’s nice.”
(hand waves omega anatomy) we're all here for the medical procedures, not for an accurate depiction of what internal organs would be like for omegas, right?
also big warning for dubcon for this chapter. i know when i asked if johnny should continue having a nice time or if i should be mean to him, everyone pretty much agreed he should have a nice time. but. i like making boys cry. and it's more hurt/comfort than just hurt this time.
tags have been updated to include two new characters, instructor hall (who is instead director hall for our intents and purposes) and samsara.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
True to Bodhi’s word, they spent the next three days going about their normal routine. Johnny woke up each morning and he received his daily enema and prostate milking. Lately it seemed like he didn’t feel awake until he’d had an orgasm. A good prostate massage was better than caffeine.
A few things were slightly different. Johnny was down to one hormone shot. He definitely noticed a change, his chest and nipples stopped hurting as much. He was sure there were other changes that came with the lower dose of hormones, but he didn’t notice them as much.
Bodhi stopped using lubricant entirely. He still brought it with him, piled onto the metal cart with everything else, but he was pretty insistent on using Johnny’s natural slick. Johnny’s body leveled out a little, and he went from overproducing to something more normal. He still found wet spots in his boxers sometimes, but he definitely wasn’t soaking through them anymore.
Unfortunately, this meant he wasn’t always wet when he needed to be. He spent a lot of time in the sims position, or knee chest position, as Bodhi carefully massaged his hole in order to coax slick out of him. Johnny tried everything he could to assist the process, because the quicker it was over the better, but it was hard.
He tried not to think of Bodhi. Really. He knew it was wrong or possibly unethical or something. It was just that nothing got him wetter faster than imagining Nurse Bodhi taking him from behind. When nothing else worked, he fell back on memories of prostate milkings and the sound of Bodhi’s silky voice dipping low.
After three days of this, Bodhi came to him in the evening smiling all sweet. He had cute dimples that showed when he smiled, not that Johnny noticed that kind of thing.
“Okay, Johnny,” he said. “You’re scheduled for an exam with Director Hall tomorrow morning. If he approves, and I’m sure he will, we’ll be able to induce a heat afterwards.”
“Director Hall?” Director as in the Director of the hospital? The big guy in charge? Johnny had heard him mentioned a few times, saw his name on plaques in a few different places. He’d never met him. He kind of didn’t want to.
“He’s one of the attending physicians here at the care center,” Bodhi explained. “He oversees the treatment of all the patients.”
“How come he has to see me? Can’t you examine me?” Johnny asked, eyebrows drawn together in an expression of concern. He didn’t really trust anyone aside from Bodhi.
“I’m afraid not.” Bodhi shook his head. “I’m just a nurse practitioner, I can help treat you, but I can’t diagnose you. Only a physician can do that.”
Johnny supposed that made sense. He thought back to his experience at the urgent care hospital. Doctor Pappas had ordered the enema, the first one he’d ever gotten in his life, and a nurse had administered it. Doctor Rottinger, the complete asshole, had examined him and an OmPreg nurse had assisted. Bodhi may be the one giving him enemas and prostate massages, but there was a man behind the curtain; Director Hall.
“What kind of exam is it?” Johnny asked. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Is he going to probe me?”
“Director Hall will need to get a good look at everything going on with you internally.” Nurse Bodhi reached out for his hand and held it in a comforting sort of way. “I know you had a difficult experience with the last doctor who did a probe exam on you and I want you to know this is going to be nothing like that. Director Hall is going to be as gentle and careful as I always am, and I’ll be right there with you in the room.”
Johnny was immediately struck with a cold feeling of fear that squirmed around in his belly. He kind of wanted to put his face in his hands and cry, but he just nodded his head. It was fine. It was totally fine. He was absolutely terrified and felt sick to his stomach at the idea of getting probed again, but it would be fine.
“Okay,” he whispered. What else could he do but agree?
Bodhi offered a few more reassuring words before leaving for the night. Johnny curled up on his side and stared out the window at the dark night sky. He barely slept. He just kept thinking about the exam and getting probed. He jerked awake again and again. Every time he nodded off, he swore he heard Doctor Rottinger’s voice in the room with him, threatening him with that one and one eighths inch metal monstrosity.
He did finally manage to catch some sleep in the early hours of the morning around dawn. All too soon, Bodhi was coming in to wake him. Johnny felt queasy with nerves. He wasn’t ready for this, for today, for any of it.
“Morning, Johnny,” Bodhi said cheerfully to him. “We’ve got time for an enema and breakfast.”
What went unspoken, of course, was a rectal temperature first.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” Bodhi asked as he held the thermometer in place.
“Not really,” Johnny admitted. He was almost getting used to holding casual conversation with things sticking up his ass.
“I know you’re nervous, but I’m going to do everything I can to make today easy on you,” Bodhi promised. He slid the thermometer free and smiled softly. “Perfect temperature. We’re starting off great already.”
Bodhi set about his usual work preparing an enema after that. He did indeed take it easy on Johnny. He didn’t add too much soap and he didn’t require him to take two full quarts. As soon as Johnny complained about being full, he shut the flow off. His stomach massage was especially soft and soothing, hand tenderly stroking calming circles into Johnny’s belly. He didn’t even make Johnny hold the enema for very long, just eight minutes, which was an odd sort of luxury.
Apparently, they were skipping the prostate milking. Johnny didn’t quite feel right without one, but he didn’t argue. He went to breakfast alone after expelling the enema and only managed a few bites of toast. He was too nervous to eat anything else.
He went out to the courtyard where he felt safe and sat in the warm sunlight. He waited, dread pooling in his stomach, for Bodhi to come fetch him for the exam. He tried to keep his thoughts on nice things like the grass, the clear blue sky, and the quiet pond but horrible memories of his past probe exam slipped through the cracks. He couldn’t help it.
Bodhi came for him, and Johnny felt like a man walking to the gallows as he followed his nurse back inside. They went through the care center’s hallways and down a corridor that Johnny usually never bothered with because there was nothing down there for him. It was full of offices and locked or closed doors.
There was an empty exam room waiting for him behind one of the closed doors. Like most OmPreg exam rooms, the walls were painted pale lavender. The cabinets and counters were accented with silver.
In the middle of the room there was an OmEx chair, the kind with the stirrups. This one was decidedly different than the last one he’d been in. Instead of metal foot holds, there were curved pieces of purple plastic to lay the calves of his legs on. Johnny stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the chair.
“I can’t do this,” he uttered, voice catching.
“Yes, you can,” Bodhi assured. “No one is going to hurt you, Johnny. I promise.”
Johnny was scared, yes, but more than that he trusted Bodhi. He hated how much he trusted Bodhi. He hated himself for taking a tentative step forward, and then another; one right after the other until he was right up next to the chair.
“Why don’t you take your boxers off and sit down while we wait for Director Hall,” Bodhi suggested.
Johnny didn’t want to, but he did it anyway. He stepped out of his boxers, and he pulled down on the hem of his gown in an effort to cover his bare skin some more. He stared at the chair for a long moment before moving cautiously to sit in it. He didn’t recline back or put his legs in the stirrups just yet. Bodhi produced a papery thin blanket to cover his legs, awarding him a bit more privacy.
“If you start feeling another anxiety attack coming on, let Director Hall or I know, and we can stop immediately,” Bodhi said.
Oh, right. Anxiety attacks. Johnny had definitely had one of those before, right in the middle of an enema no less. He wasn’t worried about that happening, he was mostly worried about some strange man he’d never met before giving him a rectal exam but, sure, he could add anxiety attacks to his list of concerns. Why not. Johnny nodded numbly, not sure what else to do or say.
Thankfully he wasn’t left waiting in suspense for very long. A soft knock on the door announced someone on the other side, and a second later the silver handle was twisting as a distinguished looking black man entered the room. It had to be none other than Director Hall. While Nurse Bodhi consistently wore comfortable scrubs, Hall had on expensive looking clothes and a crisp lab coat. Johnny could tell right away he was an alpha.
“Good morning,” he greeted them.
Johnny could also tell that he was no Doctor Rottinger. With just two words he managed to convey both kindness and patience. His voice was actually sort of soothing. He gave Bodhi an acknowledging nod, greeting him with a few kind words. Then he went right up to Johnny and offered his hand to shake.
“I’m Director Hall. You must be Johnny Utah.”
“Yes, sir,” Johnny said, holding his ground with a firm handshake and a steady voice. He may have been terrified but he wasn’t going to sit there and tremble like a scared dog.
“We don’t get many late transitions,” Director Hall said thoughtfully. “You’re something of a unique case.”
Johnny wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just nodded.
“How has the transition process been going for you so far?” Hall went to the sink to wash his hands as he spoke. He looked over his shoulder. “Any concerns or complaints?”
Johnny supposed he didn’t have any real complaints other than ‘transitioning sucks’ and that seemed like a dumb thing to say to someone as important as the director of the care center.
“No, sir,” he said instead.
“Any pain or discomfort to report?”
He shook his head. “No, sir.” Now that the hormones were reduced, and his chest didn’t ache as much, he wasn’t hurting anywhere at all.
Director Hall pulled a couple of paper towels from the dispenser and dried his hands. “Good, I’m glad to hear it. And Nurse Bodhi’s been taking good care of you during your stay here?”
Johnny glanced at the nurse. “Yeah,” he said, voice softening a little. Nurse Bodhi was the only good thing about his stay here. Johnny would be lost without him.
“I’m sure he’s already explained this to you, but today I’m going to do an assessment to check your progress.” Directly Hall plucked a pair of pale purple latex gloves from a nearby box. “Since most of the changes are internal, this will consist of a rectal exam and a probe exam.”
Johnny swallowed fearfully. He was well aware of what was going to happen. The reminder didn’t help ease his nerves at all.
“Johnny had a bit of a rough experience with the last OmPreg doctor who saw him,” Bodhi spoke up. “I’m sure he’d appreciate some sensitivity on our behalf.”
Directly Hall tipped his head in Bodhi’s direction. “Certainly,” he agreed.
Since most of the patients at the care center were here due to some sort of trauma, it was reasonable to assume that Director Hall dealt with skittish or unwilling omegas all the time. He had to be good with them, right? He had to know the right ways to approach them and perform exams that wouldn’t scare them off. Hopefully he would treat Johnny the same way he treated them.
“As soon as you’re ready you can put your legs in the stirrups, and we can begin,” he said.
Johnny appreciated that Director Hall gave him the choice to move on his own time instead of just demanding it. Forcing himself to be brave, Johnny slid back in the seat of the OmEx chair a little more. He leaned back against the purple cushion and lifted his legs into position, spreading himself wide. He could do this. He could totally do this. He just had to think of nice things like the grass outside and the soft ocean breeze.
“Is it alright if I hold your hand?” Bodhi asked him.
Johnny nodded. He wouldn’t have asked to hold Bodhi’s hand on his own, but he was grateful for the offer. He felt a palm slide into his own and he gripped tight, grounding himself with the touch.
Director Hall fixed a disposable surgical mask over his face. He then pulled over a cushioned stool and settled it between Johnny’s splayed legs. He sat down on it and reached for a nearby lamp that was mounted on the wall. It had a flexible sort of neck that could be bent down and angled. Hall directed the light between Johnny’s legs and turned in on. He adjusted the angle of the light source minutely and then shifted the papery blanket to give him a better view. Last but not least he folded the gown up out of the way. Johnny was completely and utterly on display.
“He’s improved a lot since he first arrived,” Bodhi said, like a proud parent showing off his kid’s straight A report card. “His anus was inflamed and red, and his prostate was painfully swollen.”
Johnny’s ears burned hot. He knew this was potentially important medical information, but he wished Bodhi wouldn’t say that kind of thing. It was bad enough that he said this kind of stuff during milkings but hearing him describe his hole to Director Hall was embarrassing. This was one of his most Intimate and private areas they were taking about. It might not seem like it anymore because it was constantly getting poked and prodded and things were being put inside of him day in and day out, but it was still a private.
“Externally you’re looking very healthy,” Director Hall noted. “I’m going to touch you now, Johnny. If you’d like me to stop, just let me know.”
Gloved fingers touched at the skin near his hole. Gently at first but then with some slight pressure. Director Hall hummed thoughtfully. “Not very slick.”
Oh, God. Was that bad? Johnny squeezed Bodhi’s hand in worry.
“He’s fairly consistent with slick production,” Bodhi said on his behalf. “Sometimes it takes some coaxing, but he always manages to get decently wet before any type of insertion during our daily routine.”
Director Hall nodded. He slid over to the counter and received a tube of lubricant. Johnny was grateful. There was no way he’d be able to get aroused enough here and now to create any of his own slick.
“We can always administer more culture enemas or utilize bacterial infused inserts,” Hall said as he began to lube up his forefinger. “Over-the-counter gel moisturizers work well too. There are a couple brands I recommend very highly to any omegas experiencing dryness.”
Johnny was barely listening to what Director Hall was saying, he was more concerned about the fingers about to be inside of him. He squeezed Bodhi’s hand again. The beach, warm sunshine, Doctor Rottinger shoving his finger in up to the knuckle. No, no. Good things, he had to think of good things. His bed waiting for him at home, green grass, Bodhi’s dimpled cheek when he smiled.
“I’m going to apply some lubricant,” Director Hall said. He pressed the tip of the tube of lube to Johnny’s hole and squeezed out a big glob. It felt cold and gross. Johnny’s tried not to squirm. “Now, I’m going to insert my finger.”
“Please don’t hurt me,” Johnny said in a voice that sounded too small and pathetic to be his own. The words had escaped him almost involuntarily.
“He won’t,” Bodhi promised in a quiet, reassuring way.
Director Hall nodded in agreement. “I’ll go slow.” He pressed his fingertip to Johnny’s hole. “Take a deep breath in for me, Johnny.”
Johnny breathed in deep.
“Exhale, and bare down,” he instructed.
Johnny did that too, and he felt Hall’s thick finger breaching him. His hands were bigger than Bodhi’s. He went slow and steady, being as careful as Johnny could have hoped. It was uncomfortable, but it didn’t hurt. Still, Johnny had to blink back the sudden urge to cry. He was scared to have anyone but Bodhi touching him like this, and he couldn’t help it if the experience was a little overwhelming.
“Nice and easy,” Bodhi smiled, thumb stroking across the back of Johnny’s hand. “Remember to breathe.”
Johnny sucked in a shaky breath and nodded. He was fine. He could do this.
“Nice firm tightness. You’re very warm inside.” Director Hall twisted his finger from one side to the other and then back again, examining Johnny’s inner walls by touch. He reached in deep. Johnny could feel him searching for something, and then felt the familiar pulse of his prostate being touched.
“Hmm,” Hall’s finger circled the gland a few times. “Your prostate feels typical in size. Nothing seems out of place.”
They had Bodhi’s constant milkings to thank for that.
“Any tenderness?” Director Hall asked him.
Johnny shook his head.
Hall stood upright then, rising from his seat with his thick finger still pressed deep into Johnny’s hole. “I’m going to palpate a couple areas on your lower abdomen. Remain relaxed.”
With his free hand he moved to press his fingers into Johnny’s belly. It reminded Johnny of his early days here when Bodhi used that vibrating OmEgg thing on him. He had to apply pressure in a sort of downward motion to produce a result. Director Hall was doing a similar thing now, though he was pressing deeper and harder than Bodhi ever had. It didn’t exactly feel good.
He moved from one spot to another, clearly checking for something but Johnny had no idea what. The finger he had buried inside of Johnny shifted position to match his palpations. Johnny didn’t like the feeling at all, like someone was rooting around inside of him. Just when he thought about speaking up and potentially asking Director Hall to stop the Director was pulling his finger free.
Even though he had breathing in and out on Bodhi’s instruction, Johnny breathed easier as soon as the finger was gone.
“Your reproductive organs feel a little underdeveloped, but that’s to be expected.” Director Hall told him.
Johnny’s eyebrows rose. He could tell that just from poking his belly and putting a finger up there?
“Is that bad?” He asked after a moment. Underdeveloped didn’t exactly sound like a glowing compliment.
“It won’t affect you negatively during your day to day life, but it may cause difficulties with pregnancy,” Hall explained. Big deal, Johnny had no interest in pregnancy. “There are plenty of treatment options available we can discuss, but I’d like to probe you and take a good look before making a final diagnosis. Are you ready to continue the examination?”
Johnny steeled himself. This was the part he was dreading the most. Still, he nodded. “Just-” He nervously darted his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. “Just don’t hurt me.”
He felt dumb for saying it again, but this was important to him. This exam was already difficult enough, he really wouldn’t be able to handle it if he had to endure any undue pain.
“I’m going to prepare you for the probe with some light stretching first,” Hall said, retrieving the lube to retreat his fingers and thoroughly wet the two he would be using.
This too this was an improvement from Doctor Rottinger who had moved straight from the rectal exam to shoving a huge probe inside of him with no prep. He wished Bodhi could stretch him open instead, preferring his touch to Hall’s, but he wasn’t like he was going to refuse Director Hall.
Hall went through the steps of insertion again. He lined his two fingers up, had Johnny take a deep breath, and then bare down on the exhale. His fingers slid in slow, filling him. Johnny squeezed Bodhi’s hand. Again, it didn’t hurt, but his hole felt full.
“Great job, Johnny.” Bodhi commended him.
“I’m going to manipulate your internal muscles.” Hall explained. “You may feel some pressure.”
A moment later, he began moving his fingers in an odd way. Johnny didn’t like the way it felt. It was just… weird. He grimaced and went back to his tried and true distraction technique of thinking of nice things. Outside. Mountain biking. Bodhi’s hand holding his. The quiet courtyard.
Director Hall shifted and twisted his fingers for what felt like an unreasonably long time. Johnny had nearly run out of nice things to think about by the time his movements stilled.
“There we go,” Hall said with a hint of satisfaction in his tone. “Bodhi, would you mind retrieving one of the disposable speculums and lubricating it for me.”
Bodhi nodded. He had to pull his hand from Johnny’s and step away. The loss of his presence made Johnny want to reach out and pull him back. Instead he laid still in the chair, two thick fingers buried inside of him. He watched with growing dread as Bodhi opened a cabinet door and pulled out the sterile wrapped probe. The familiarity of this scene made Johnny feel sick.
When Bodhi unwrapped the packaging, there was a plastic device inside, not a metal one. The difference helped to calm some of Johnny’s nerves but not enough. He saw how big it was and fresh tears sprang to his eyes, threatening to fall. He blinked them away.
“I... I don’t think I can do this,” he whispered.
“You’re ready for this, Johnny,” Hall told him. He had the sort of tone that brokered no argument, and it would have been inspiring in literally any other situation but right now it wasn’t helping.
Bodhi began pouring lubricant over the long shaft of plastic that would be going into Johnny’s body. It dripped from speculum into the sink he was working over. It was still dripping when he passed it to Director Hall. Seeing the device change hands made a fresh wave of fear roll through Johnny.
He panicked. “Wait! Don’t... not yet.”
“I won’t insert it until you’re willing.” Director Hall held the speculum aloft, not moving it any closer.
Bodhi dried himself of any excess lube and then went to take Johnny’s hand in between his own. “It’s okay to be scared, Johnny. I know it looks big, but the speculum is just the right size for you. You’re prepped and ready. All you need to do is sit back and relax, and Director Hall and I will take good care of you.”
Johnny felt a little helpless. He knew he had to do this. He looked up at Bodhi, at his soft brown curls and the dark stubble on his face. He swallowed hard.
“Can you try? Just let Director Hall begin to insert it. If it hurts, we’ll stop?” Bodhi asked him softly. “Do you think you can do that? For me?”
How could Johnny say no? He nodded, a jerky little motion. He stayed staring at Bodhi. He wasn’t thinking about the sky or the grass or the beach. He was just thinking about Bodhi. Bodhi’s face. Bodhi’s cheerful smile in the morning. Bodhi’s soft tummy rubs.
He heard Director Hall’s voice distant and far away, describing his next actions. Johnny didn’t pay him any attention. He felt the fingers inside him spread, and he thought of Bodhi pumping salve into his tender hole. He felt plastic lining up to enter him and he thought of Rottinger- No! He thought of Bodhi! He thought of Bodhi pressing the enema nozzle into him every morning.
Stiff plastic began to fill him. It stretched him as it went in, pushing the limits of discomfort without actually causing any pain. He thought of Bodhi inserting the bacteria infused plug, pushing it deep into place inside of him.
“You’re doing so well.” Bodhi smiled tenderly.
The speculum came to rest deep inside of him.
“I’m going to widen the speculum now. It may feel a little uncomfortable,” Hall told him.
Johnny squeezed Bodhi’s hand hard as Hall squeezed the handles on the speculum. The blades widened, forcing Johnny’s hole and inner walls wider in the process. He went slow enough that it didn’t cause any immediate pain, but the stretching was difficult to endure.
The tears that had been threatening to fall all morning finally slid from the corners of Johnny’s eyes, rolling down the sides of his face. He thought of every tender touch, every kind word, every sweet smile Bodhi had ever given him but even that wasn’t enough to distract him from the sensation of being probed and stretched.
“You’re okay,” Bodhi told him. He brushed away Johnny’s tears with gentle fingers. “You’re okay, It’s okay.”
“We’re almost finished,” Hall said. He held the speculum in place with one hand and shifted the angle of the lamp with the other. He ducked down low to get a better look. After a long moment he sat back. Johnny thought it was over then, but no. Director Hall reached for a long swab from the counter and brought it between Johnny’s legs.
Johnny couldn’t feel anything, but he knew that swab was being inserted, touching places inside of him. When the swab was removed and secured in a sterile tube-shaped container Afterwards, Johnny was finally given relief. The handles of the speculum were released, and the blades closed. The stretch was no longer unbearable. The long plastic shaft of the probe slid out of him. He whimpered softly when it was finally gone, and his hole was empty. He reflexively clenched up again and again, relishing in the sensation of no fingers or plastic inside of him.
“Excellent job,” Hall said affirmingly, disposing of the dreadful speculum. It felt so damn satisfying to hear the thing thump into the bottom of the empty biohazard waste bin. Johnny reached up to scrub his eyes, ready to completely ignore the fact that he had been crying.
Hall glanced at Johnny and then reached out to pat his leg in a fatherly sort of way. “Why don’t I take this sample down the hall and give you a minute to collect yourself. Then we can discuss the next steps in your treatment.”
Johnny sniffled a little and nodded. Bodhi seemed as though he was about to step out too, like he thought Johnny might want some alone time or something, but Johnny didn’t let go of him. Bodhi glanced at their clasped hands and decided to stay.
“Let’s clean you up,” He said as the door closed on the two of them. He grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the counter and went to wipe the excess lube from Johnny’s hole. He was sensitive down there now and jumped a little at the touch. “There, you’re alright. It’s all over. I know how hard that was for you, but you did so well.”
“Thanks for helping me,” Johnny said quietly.
Not just the comforting and the hand holding, but everything. Every treatment he had administered from the beginning of Johnny’s stay here at the care center had helped him. Thinking of Bodhi was the only thing that got him through.
“Thanks for being so brave,” Bodhi countered, flashing charming smile. “Should I help you back into your boxers too?”
Johnny didn’t really need help with that, but he nodded anyway. “Yes, please.” He wanted to let Bodhi take care of him.
He let Bodhi lift his legs from the stirrups and then leaned heavily on him as they got his boxers back on. Bodhi pulled them up and into place, flattening out the waist band and then adjusting Johnny’s gown for him accordingly.
Johnny sat back down in the OmEx chair and grimaced. His hole felt weird. He shifted to get comfortable, grateful to be able to sit up and not have to lean back with his feet up and his legs spread.
“Okay?” Bodhi asked, noticing his face.
“I’m a little sore,” Johnny admitted.
“Yeah?” The nurse went to soothe a hand up and down Johnny’s arm. “After this we can head back to your room and I’ll apply some salve, how does that sound?”
Johnny nodded. That definitely sounded good.
Director Hall returned. He knocked twice in the door before coming in. He had a few papers with him, and a small cardboard box in his hands. He got down to business very quickly.
“Well, I’ve sent a culture down to the lab, but I don’t expect to find anything irregular. It’ll be nice to have the results on file, though.” He pulled the stool over towards himself and sat down comfortably. “Your reproductive organs are indeed underdeveloped. This is common with late transitions. I have some information regarding that for you to read at your leisure.” He passed over the papers in his hands.
Johnny glanced at the top page briefly noting the paragraph headers and bulleted points describing symptoms and side effects.
“The hormone therapy you’re receiving here is the best course of action to improve organ function,” Hall continued. “I’m going to prescribe pills for you to take once you’re discharged from the care center, so that you can continue your hormone intake.”
Johnny nodded along kind of numbly. He still wasn’t quite over the probe exam and this was a lot to take in. He didn’t know how much he needed to concern himself with this stuff. Director Hall had said earlier that it wouldn’t really affect him unless he was trying to get pregnant. So basically, he would never have to worry about it? At least, that’s what he hoped.
Next, Hall handed over the small silvery cardboard box he’d brought with him. In pale purple font with darker purple drop-shadow it read Glace.
“This is for dryness,” he explained.
For some reason this made Johnny blush. Somehow talking about internal organs was less embarrassing than this, even though one was way more personal and invasive than the other. Maybe it was because dryness was usually linked directly to sex. The commercials on tv of pretty omega girls in purple dressed frowning and hiding their eyes while some narrator made allegories to waterfalls and rivers or whatever were so always awkward to watch. He felt like one of those omegas now, hiding his eyes in embarrassment at his own inability to get wet on command.
Johnny stared at the box. There was a diagram on the side of how to apply the moisturizer, with pictures of a narrow nozzle tipped bottle. It reminded Johnny of the fleet enema he got at the hospital, only instead of water it would be gross moisturizing gel. Great. This wasn’t gross at all.
“Glace has lots of friendly bacteria to help your own slick production,” Hall continued. “If you feel like you would benefit from a culture enema or a night with an infused plug, just let Nurse Bodhi know and he can arrange that for you during the final days of your stay here.”
Yeah, no. Hard pass on both. Johnny nodded anyway, like he was considering it. Really, the main thing he was considering in that sentence was the way Director Hall had said ‘final days’. He was almost out of here. Freedom was so close Johnny could taste it.
“Last but not least, I’m going to go ahead and approve an induced heat in order to complete your transition,” Hall told him.
Johnny frowned. He was sure it wouldn’t be any worse than that probe had been, but he really wasn’t looking forward to going into heat. From everything he knew about heats, which wasn’t much, they seemed miserable.
His roommate, Jeff, usually locked himself in his room during his heat. Johnny had never actually seen him suffering, but he heard the noises. Lots of crying, usually. Jeff didn’t have an alpha, which made things harder on him. Johnny wouldn’t have an alpha either, just the hospital staff.
He was already worried about what embarrassing things he might do or say in front of them. He only had a few shreds of dignity left and his heat would probably rob him of even those scraps. Then again, Bodhi had literally sat with him in the bathroom and listened to his sleepy flirtatious ramblings. It would be hard to humiliate himself any more than that.
“Since the exam today was a little stressful for you -” Johnny raised an eyebrow. A little? “- it would be in your best interest to wait until tomorrow to induce. If you have any questions or concerns, you can direct them to Nurse Bodhi.”
“Okay,” Johnny agreed.
Director Hall stood and shook hands with him again. “I’ll see you again for a quick, non-invasive exit exam after your heat’s finished. It was nice to meet you, Johnny.”
“You too, sir,” Johnny said as he shook the director’s hand. While the exam had been pretty awful, Director Hall was a nice enough guy.
Hall exited first, leaving the door open as he went. Bodhi and Johnny left after him, heading for the stairs. He wasn’t hurting in the same way he had been after Doctor Rottinger’s probe, but he did feel a little weird. It was different from the way he felt after their morning routine. Maybe it was psychosomatic of something, but he was sure his hole was feeling a little more tender.
When they got back to his room, Bodhi helped him out of his boxers and into the bed.
“Just lay down on your stomach and relax,” he said.
Johnny readily collapsed onto the mattress, pressing his face into the pillows. He’d gotten so little sleep last night, the only thing he wanted to do now was nap. Bodhi retrieved the salve he’d promised; white ointment that would help numb him. It was a little thicker than lubricant but just as slippery.
He donned a pair of gloves and a disposable mask and began to apply it, gently talking Johnny through as he inserted two salve covered fingers. Instantly his skin began to tingle, and it grew less sensitive as Bodhi coated his hole and inner walls. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you,” he murmured quietly, closing his eyes.
Bodhi softly pumped his fingers in and out, coating his insides thoroughly. This was so much easier to handle. If anyone else tried to do this, Johnny would be panicking, but with Bodhi it felt good.
Inexplicably, there was a knock on the door. Johnny’s eyebrows came together in confusion. The only one who ever knocked on the door was Bodhi, and he was already here.
“Come in,” Bodhi called out, knuckle deep in salve application.
Before Johnny could protest, the door was opening, and another nurse came walking into the room. She took in the scene of Johnny lying prone and Bodhi applying medication with two fingers inserted in his rectum as if it were nothing. She probably saw stuff like this every day, so it wasn’t new to her, but Johnny was mortified. There was truly no concept of privacy when it came to the nurses here.
“Sam,” Bodhi greeted her fondly.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you would be busy,” she said.
She flashed Johnny an apologetic sort of smile, like she was interrupting a conversation and not an invasive medical treatment. What made matters worse was the fact that she was stunningly pretty, with the kind of smile that could break hearts. So, it wasn’t just any nurse walking in on them, but another hot nurse. Johnny averted his eyes from her blue ones, not wanting to look her in the face during all of this.
“No, no. I’m just finishing up,” Bodhi assured as he pulled his fingers free. He then carefully wiped away any excess salve with a tissue as the other nurse – Sam – watched casually.
In an effort to look at anything but her, Johnny looked passed her and noticed that the door to his room was wide open. A pair of orderlies strolled by. They didn’t glance in, but they could if they wanted to. Warm shame washed over him again. To be fair, he would much rather have a hundred nurses see him like this than ever have to do another probe exam again, but this was pushing the limits on humiliation he could endure.
“Johnny, I want you to meet Samsara,” Bodhi introduced them, finally folding down the lavender gown to hide Johnny’s nudity. “Sam, this is Johnny.”
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Samsara said sweetly. It looked like she was going to come over and wrap Johnny up in a big comforting hug, but instead she offered her hand for him to shake.
Johnny sat up gingerly. He stared pointedly at the floor as he muttered “Uh, yeah. You too,” and shook her hand. Though, truly, he couldn’t imagine anything worse than the way to two of them had just met.
“Samsara’s a nurse over in the secure unit,” Bodhi explained. “She’ll be the one taking care of you while you’re there. I know you were feeling a little apprehensive, so I wanted the two of you to meet and get comfortable with each other.”
Well, shit. He was never going to get comfortable with her now that he’d been so embarrassed in front of her. Or maybe that introduction was like chucking him in the deep end. She’d already seen him with fingers up his ass, there was nothing left to lose.
Johnny glanced at her again, really taking her in this time. Her brown hair had a sort of windswept vibe to it, and she wasn’t wearing any obvious make-up. Not that she needed any, she was gorgeous. She had this way about her, an all-natural sort of vibe where he could see her working in a communal garden or buying wind chimes or something. It was both harmless and reassuring. He felt like he could trust her.
“She’ll take great care of you,” Bodhi promised, squeezing his shoulder.
Johnny would much rather have Bodhi with him, but he nodded. Samsara would do.
“Are you inducing heat today?” She asked curiously.
“No, Johnny had an exam with Director Hall a little bit ago and it was rough for him,” Bodhi explained. “He’s still getting used to probe exams and he’s feeling a little sore, so we’re going to wait until tomorrow.”
Did he have to tell her everything? Actually, maybe he did. Maybe it was better that she knew.
“Ah,” Sam nodded knowingly.
“Johnny, I know you’re feeling sensitive right now but would you like Samsara to give you a prostate massage?” Bodhi offered like it was nothing. “You haven’t had one yet today, and it might make you feel better to try something like this with her ahead of time.”
“Uh. No,” Johnny said pretty readily. Even if he wasn’t sore or exhausted from the probe exam, it was still a no.
“That’s alright,” Samsara smiled. “Johnny and I can get acquainted on my turf when he comes down to stay in the secure ward.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” Bodhi almost seemed a little sad or disappointed, like he’d really wanted this to go the way he had planned. He recovered quickly and turned to address Samsara. “I have some things I’d like to discuss with you. Why don’t we step out and let Johnny get some rest?”
Johnny knew full well they were going to be talking about him. He wondered what Bodhi would say about him. Then, on second thought, he was glad he wouldn’t have to listen to it.
The next morning Johnny was given a reprieve from his usual routine. He tried to be normal, to eat breakfast, to pass some time out in the courtyard. It was weird, though. Everything was all just a little bit off.
He felt... blank.
He was going into heat today; he knew it for a fact. It was scheduled, it was going to happen. He just didn’t really know what heat was going to be like. He didn’t know how scared he should be. That left him with no clue how to feel at all. He just wanted all of this to be over and done with.
When he eventually wandered back to his room Bodhi was already there, waiting for him. Johnny stood in the doorway and watched as Bodhi pulled his hair back into a bun. It took him a few tries to catch all the curls. He turned to the doorway as he finished tying his hair up and caught Johnny watching.
“Ready to get started?” He asked.
Johnny felt uniquely unprepared for this situation. He just shrugged and nodded. “I guess.”
He realized he didn’t know how they were going to induce a heat. With his luck, the only way to do it would be to stick something big and painful up his ass and then leave it there.
As he came further into the room, he noticed an IV bag hanging from the metal stand usually reserved for full red rubber enema bags. The notorious metal cart was sitting stationary nearby. None of the usual suspects were sitting on the cart though; no enema bag or nozzle, no hormones, no plug, not even the old OmEgg. Instead, he saw needles and tubes and medication in glass vials and smaller IV bags.
“I’ll need to set up an IV line to administer the drug that will begin the heat process. But first...”
Ah, there it was. The old standard, the rectal thermometer. The little hand-held machine with its wand-like thin metal probe connected by a coiled black wire. “I’m going to need to keep a close eye on your body temperature, and I need a base reading to start off with.”
Johnny supposed he preferred this to most of the things that could potentially be put inside of him. He took off his boxers and got into bed while Bodhi gloved up and donned a mask. He laid down on his side with one leg pulled up. All it took was some light touching with Bodhi’s gloved finger, and Johnny was wet enough for the thermometer to slip inside.
“How are you feeling after the exam yesterday? Still tender?” Bodhi asked, holding the thermometer in place.
“Uhm... not really,” Johnny said as though he was deciding it there and then.
“Good,” Bodhi smiled behind his sterile mask.
When the awkward ordeal was finished, and Johnny’s temperature had been taken, he noticed Bodhi writing it down on an official-looking paper along with the time. Johnny had a patient chart that hung on the back of the door to his room with his name and information, but he had never really considered that logs of his treatment were being taken down or kept.
That was probably what Bodhi did when he wasn’t around administering enemas and milking prostates. He sat in some doctor’s lounge writing notes on Johnny’s morning routine. There was probably a full file of details on how many quarts of water he took or how often relieving his prostate ended in climax.
When he was done recording the time and temperature Bodhi removed his gloves and mask and disposed of both before disappearing into the bathroom. While he was there, he scrubbed his hands clean. When he returned, he was rubbing hand sanitizer into his skin; the smell of the alcohol was thick.
Bodhi asked Johnny to sit up and then adjusted the bed so that half of it was propped up. Johnny had been staying here for around a month and he didn’t even know his bed could do that? He relaxed back in a sitting position, and it was almost like lounging in an easy chair.
“I’m going to set up a catheter now,” Bodhi told him, snapping on a new pair of gloves.
“What?” Johnny‘s eyes went wide.
A catheter? He didn’t need one of those. Did he? Was he going to piss himself during his heat or something? Omegas went through heat all the time at home without catheters. He definitely didn’t need one! Taking things up the ass was one thing but his dick? No way. He looked at the needles and tubes on the cart with a newfound fear. Oh no. No, absolutely not. If Bodhi came at his cock with a needle Johnny would pass out.
Bodhi caught the sound of panic in Johnny’s voice and hurried to correct himself. “Sorry; a venous catheter, in your arm.”
“Oh,” Johnny sighed with relief.
“Foley catheters aren’t nearly as bad as people make them out to be, though,” he added thoughtfully.
He set to work preparing things. He worked with such a fast-paced ease that Johnny didn’t even catch all of what he was doing, but he was using almost everything on the cart; the needles, the tubes, the vials of liquid. It was all coming together somehow.
Eventually, he turned to Johnny. “Hold out your arm for me.”
Johnny extended his arm, resting it comfortably on the rail of the bed.
“I’m going to apply a tourniquet. It may feel a little tight.” He wrapped a stretchy blue strap around Johnny’s upper arm and knotted it. It did indeed cinch tight. Bodhi stared hard at Johnny’s arm, and then caressed it gently, using his thumb to feel for a vein. He found one and quickly cleaned Johnny’s skin with an alcohol pad.
As the alcohol dried, he retrieved a sterile pack from the cart and tore it open, revealing a long cannula needle. “Alright, quick pinch here,” he warned, lining the needle up. Johnny glanced away. He didn’t mind getting shots and stuff, but he didn’t really want to watch it happen. He felt a sharp prick of pain and winced, but it didn’t hurt so bad.
After a few long seconds, he glanced back to see a blue catheter port sticking from his arm. Bodhi was connecting a short tube to it, securing everything with tape. When it was sufficiently taped in place, he reached up to release the blue strap.
“Some saline first,” He said and injected clear liquid into the tube. “And now we can get your IV going.”
It was interesting to see him work. Usually, Johnny was facing away from him and Bodhi was behind him, so he never got to watch. More than that, this kind of work was a lot different than the stuff Bodhi usually did. He began connecting everything, and then he checked and double-checked that the IV line was correct before moving on.
“This is just more saline,” he said, gesturing to the bag. “I’m going to set up a secondary bag with the medication. It needs to be administered slowly through drip infusion; we don’t want to overwhelm your system.”
He got to work setting that up too. A second bag, much smaller than the first, was added to the metal stand. Tubing was secured, and IV lines were connected. As he worked, he addressed Johnny. “Okay, this is very, very important. I need you to repeat after me.”
That caught Johnny’s attention.
“I, Johnny Utah, will never ever use heat inducing or accelerating drugs outside of a medical professional’s office.”
Okay, he wasn’t expecting that. Johnny laughed a little but played along, repeating it all back: “I, Johnny Utah, will never ever use heat inducing or accelerating drugs outside of a medical professional’s office.”
He knew the horror stories. A few years back there were news reports about a knock off heat accelerant that caused seizures in omegas. There were a handful of deaths attributed to the drug. It seemed like every couple of years there was some new kind of drug with a new kind of deadly consequence.
Johnny knew suppressants could sometimes be prescribed by OmPreg doctors but even that was touchy. There were tons of side effects with the potential to cause permanent damage to omegas who used suppressants regularly. He didn’t need to be told twice to stay away.
“This stuff is so dangerous when it’s unregulated.” Bodhi pressed the issue. He seemed genuinely passionate about this. “The pills they sell online are so harmful. Absolutely do not believe anything you hear about miracle drugs curing heats. Your body needs to go through heat. You can’t skip it, you can’t speed it up, and in most cases, you shouldn’t induce it. I mean, you felt what happened to your body when it was denied a heat for years. Vomiting, nausea, fever, and exhaustion; that’s the least of it. Statistically speaking, sky diving is less likely to kill you than heat pills are.”
“No heat pills for me,” Johnny agreed. “Might try sky diving though.” He’d always wanted to. Four-inch metal probes terrified him into literal tears but jumping out of a plane? Sure, that sounded fun.
It seemed the IV lines were all set up and working. Bodhi took a couple of seconds to check his work before he began cleaning up and disposing of trash. He set a timer on his watch.
“What now?” Johnny asked.
“Now we wait,” Bodhi told him. “It’ll take some time before your heat kicks in, but you might start to notice some effects right away; a rise in body temperature, sudden production of slick, or change in physical sensation.”
Johnny glanced at the IV stand, and the small bag of medication hanging from it. It seemed so innocuous, but it was about to have a profound effect on him, one he couldn’t quite fathom yet. After this, he would be an omega. A real omega. He wondered if he would feel different when his heat was done or if he would feel the same.
Bodhi stretched and reached up to pull the elastic hair tie from his hair. His curls fell from the bun, looking messy but in that aloof way that was infuriatingly hot.
“Let’s check your temperature again.”
They levered the bed back down and Johnny got in the sims position. He had to be careful of his IV line, something he didn’t usually have to worry about. Bodhi donned a new disposable mask for the simple temperature check.
“Are you sure you don’t have any oral thermometers?” He asked as Bodhi slid a sanitary plastic sleeve onto the thermometer’s length.
He didn’t even mind getting his temperature taken back there anymore, but this seemed like a lot of effort to go through over and over again.
“Rectal temperature is much more accurate,” Bodhi said, something he had told Johnny plenty of times before. “And this way I’ll be able to do a visual inspection and look for any changes.”
As if she had a radar for catching Johnny in the most humiliating and compromising of positions, Samsara came knocking at the door. She let herself in just as the thermometer entered him and slid home.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt again,” she said this like it was just another cute accident. She noted the IV. “Looks like you’re inducing today.”
“We’ve only just started,” Bodhi told her.
“I’m going to set up transport out here in the hall for you, just page me when he’s ready.” She jerked a thumb over her shoulder, gesturing to the open doorway behind her.
Although he didn’t exactly want to have a conversation with someone while getting his temperature taken like this, Johnny couldn’t help speaking up. “Transport?” He was imagining an ambulance or something but the secure ward was definitely in the hospital so that couldn’t be right.
“A gurney,” she explained. “So you won’t have to walk down to the secure ward.”
“Why not a wheelchair?” Johnny asked.
“Because you’ll slide right off.” Samsara teased him with a wink. She turned and left on that note, flitting out as easily as she had come in.
It took Johnny a second to realize that she was talking about slick. That was a joke? He wasn’t sure if it was funny or not. The removal of the thermometer pulled him from his thoughts. After all that, his temperature hadn’t even changed. Bodhi noted it on the same page as the first reading.
“How long does this usually take?” Johnny asked.
“Thirty minutes to an hour,” Bodhi made a so-so motion with his hand like there was some give and take here. “Your body’s never done this before, so it’s going to be a little different for you than it would be for someone else who’s been in heat before. Some stimulation would likely help speed things along. Is that something you would be comfortable with?”
Johnny wasn’t sure if he wanted to speed things along. He wasn’t exactly eager to go rushing into this. Then again laying here waiting would only make him anxious. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. He bit at the inside of his bottom lip as he considered.
“What kind of stimulation?”
“Some anal penetration with my fingers. A light prostate massage. Does that sound okay to you?”
Well, he’d rather it be in any other situation than this, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t want Bodhi to give him another prostate massage. He hated how much he enjoyed them.
“Uh. Okay, that’s fine I guess,” Johnny allowed, trying his damnedest to be casual about it. He felt his face turn hot and it had nothing to do with his heat. He reminded himself that this was all practical, clinical, medicinal, even if his mind was taking him somewhere distinctly less wholesome.
“Oh, good.” Bodhi sounded pleased. “This will help make the transition into your heat even smoother. I’m going to go ahead and get started, just relax and try taking some deep breaths. If you feel any discomfort, let me know.”
Narrating carefully as he worked, Bodhi pushed Johnny’s gown further up and spread his cheeks. He wet his fingers with some of Johnny’s slick and slowly inserted them. They were much bigger than the thermometer. Their width felt nice; filling but not uncomfortably so. He eased them in and out, drawing his fingers almost all the way out only to push them back in again and again.
It felt good. There was no denying it. Johnny closed his eyes and swallowed hard reminding himself that this was heat relief, not sex. That didn’t stop his cock from getting stiff and hard though. He started leaking more slick, wetness making everything slippery.
“There you go,” Bodhi praised him. “You’re a natural at this.”
During his usual morning prostate massages, it was easy for Johnny to ignore the embarrassment and get lost in the pleasure. This was even easier. It felt different; he could feel the pleasure in different places all over his body. It was like a tingling sharpness; snow static on a tv, beard burn scraping his skin. Prickly and sensitive but not in a bad way? He could feel it on his lips, across his chest, in the hair on his arms and legs.
He was lulled into an odd sense of comfort by each filling, thorough thrust of Bodhi’s fingers. His thoughts wandered, and he considered a handful of reasons as to why he was feeling this new, delicious tingling. The very last thought to occur to him was the most obvious of all. This was his heat, it was starting.
“Feels weird,” he said aloud, surprised to find himself breathless.
Bodhi stilled his movements, always the first to stop when he was worried things were going awry. Johnny stifled an unhappy groan, eager for the stimulation to continue. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Johnny gasped. “Good weird, I meant.”
“Yeah, you’re getting pretty wet too. I think it’s time to check your temperature again.”
This time Johnny didn’t stifle his groan. He just wanted Bodhi to keep touching him. To his dismay, those thick fingers were replaced with the thin metal wand and Johnny sat impatiently, waiting and waiting for the temperature reading to be done.
“Ah, see. It’s gone up a few degrees,” Bodhi said, reading the final number on the thermometer “This is great, Johnny. You’re definitely on your way. I’ll page Sam.”
Right. Samsara. The secure unit. Johnny wasn’t going to get to stay here, Bodhi wasn’t going to be the one to take care of him. He tried not to be upset about that, but it was hard not to be.
“I wish you were coming with me,” Johnny said quietly. “Samsara seems nice but...”
She’s not you.
“I wish I could come with you too,” Bodhi agreed. “I’d be happy to take care of you during your heat.”
The way he said it was relatively innocent. Obviously, he meant it in the practical sense of a nurse taking care of their patient. If they were different people, though; if Bodhi was some guy at a bar who had walked up to him, pressed his lips to Johnny’s ear and whispered in a husky voice ‘I’d be happy to take care of you during your heat’ it would mean something very different.
The thought made pleasure thrum through Johnny. A burst of warmth that he hadn’t expected to be so literal burned through his belly. He could feel slick leaking out of his empty hole, and he wanted nothing more than for it to be filled.
“Wow,” Bodhi’s voice went low, dropping towards something almost unprofessional. He used a hand to lift Johnny’s cheek a little, inspecting shamelessly. “You’re really coming along now. Nice and wet. Would it be alright if I continued stimulation until Samsara arrives?”
Johnny nodded, and almost opened his mouth to say please but he quickly realized how close that was to begging and he wasn’t far gone enough to have lost all his reservations.
Bodhi slipped his fingers in a second time, easy as ever. He didn’t waste his efforts pushing them in over and over again. No, this time he went straight to stroking Johnny’s prostate. Johnny could feel his eyes rolling back in his head, body arching. It felt so good.
Johnny didn’t even realize Sam had joined them in the room until she was standing by his bedside. He was breathing heavy, hanging on Bodhi’s every finger stroke. In the back of his mind he had the good sense to be embarrassed; caught with his lavender gown pushed up and leaking hole exposed. Thankfully, his feelings of embarrassment were swamped, swallowed whole. The only thing that mattered was the buzzing of his skin, the warm excitement tingling through him, the pleasant ache of it all making him feel hard and ready.
“He went down easy,” Samsara mused. Her voice sounded far away, but fond.
“I thought it would be tougher for him, but he’s taking it like a champ,” Bodhi agreed. “Still doing okay, Johnny?”
Johnny moaned a little; an affirmative noise.
Bodhi’s movements slowed to a stop; the stroking of his fingers tapering off. He pulled them out entirely, leaving an immensely empty feeling in their wake.
“Don’t,” Johnny whispered. He didn’t want Bodhi to stop.
“Hey, Johnny,“ Samsara addressed him, distracting him. “I brought you something to help get you started with heat relief before we head to the secure ward.” It was a little hard to focus, but she definitely had something with her. Somethings. Three phallic devices shaped like an alpha’s cock, each slightly different in shape and size. She brandished them for him to see. “Want to try one of these?”
Johnny’s eyes lingered on one of the pale purple ones. It looked huge; way too big to fit in his ass. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to try it. He imagined taking it inside of himself anyway, the thick length filling him up; filling the awful void Bodhi had left when he stopped fingering him. A wave of tingling pleasure washed over him making him moan. It got harder to focus.
“This one?” Samsara seemed to know which one he had been looking at. She shifted the other two to one hand and held them out of the way. Her attention turned to Bodhi. “Want to get him set up?”
Overwhelmed by the desire for Bodhi to put a nice big alpha cock in him, Johnny failed to clearly hear anything that followed after that; static buzzed in his brain. There was some back and forth between the two nurses. Bodhi insisted that he couldn’t, he shouldn’t, he could get in trouble for this; an alpha participating in heat relief. Samsara insisted that he could, he should, and that no one would tell on him. In the end, Bodhi relented and agreed; his ability to resist was only so strong.
By the time Johnny was clawing his way back towards coherence, the phallic device had changed hands. Bodhi was talking quietly to him, gentling him, shushing him. Johnny didn’t realize he was moaning, gasping, breathing heavy and odd.
“It’s okay, Johnny,” Bodhi soothed him. The rigid device was circling his hole, dipping into his slick, becoming wet enough for easy penetration. Bodhi was guiding it with a steady hand. “You’re okay. Bear down for me. I’m going to insert it now.”
Johnny didn’t know if he complied or not. A rise in tingling pleasure washed out most of his senses. Then he felt the device entering him, and it wasn’t too big at all. It was definitely big, but it slid right in perfectly. His body swallowed it up, hungry hole suckling it inside. His eyes rolled back again. His inner walls were the most sensitive of all, an epicenter of intense sensation that rippled out and grew staticky and hot, jumping like a live wire through his muscles and bones and veins until it crackled and tingled on his skin.
“There you go,” Bodhi pushed the phallic device deeper and deeper until it seemed to click, to set, to pop into place. Part of it was still sticking out of Johnny but most of it was inside.
Suddenly the need for a gurney made a lot more sense. There was no way Johnny could walk or sit in a wheelchair with this big pale purple cock stuffed up inside him. It took lots of coaxing and plenty of help to get him onto the gurney. Bodhi had the decency to pull his gown down and tuck him in under some blankets.
Last but not least, Bodhi carefully removed the tubing from the catheter port in Johnny’s arm. The needle was still taped into place. “Johnny, would it be alright with you if we administered an anxiolytic?”
Samsara produced a syringe from the pocket of her scrubs. He had enough awareness to be mildly concern about what it was, why she was brandishing it, and what it might do to him.
“It’ll help reduce anxiety,” Bodhi supplied readily. “Make you feel comfortable. Does that sound okay?”
Oh. That definitely sounded okay. He could have used that earlier this morning, hell he could have used that last night. “Yeah.” He nodded. “Okay.”
“It might make you a little sleepy.”
Bodhi gave Samsara a nod. She donned a pair of sterile gloves and then began connecting the needle with the port in his arm. Pushing the plunger, she injected the medicine directly into his veins. It felt cool under his skin, a chill crawling up passed the crook of his elbow, a subtle counteraction to the heat thrumming through him. It didn’t last very long, fading away to nothing.
“Ready?” Sam asked, sheathing the needle in plastic and disposing of it in the biohazard bin.
“Ready,” Bodhi affirmed.
Together they lead the gurney out into the hallway, rolling it along between them as they went. The steady motion and rhythmic passing of lights overhead easily lulled Johnny. His eyes got all heavy-lidded.
Bodhi went with them all the way down to the first floor. He still had his mask on, but his hands were free from gloves. He stood by the head of the gurney in the elevator and stroked back Johnny’s hair. Each touch sent a ripple of warm happiness rolling through him.
By the time they reached the first floor, Johnny was fading completely. His heat and the drugs were making his head feel light like he was swimming underwater. It helped a little when he closed his eyes.
Bodhi walked with Johnny right up to the double doors to the secure unit and gave his hand a squeeze when they reached it. “I’ll be right here waiting for you when you’re done.”
Samsara flashed her secure badge to the double doors, and Johnny thought he should stay awake long enough to see what the secure ward was like on the other side but it was so much easier just to nod off.
The last thing he saw was Bodhi waving to him; waving goodbye. The anxio-whatever shot they gave him was working because Johnny wasn’t worried at all. He just smiled and kept that image with him as he fell asleep.
a quick note about some reorganization. i'm changing it so that this fic appears under my main pseudonym deathtouch instead of frankcastles. i'm changing the name to this pseud as well, so if you search for frankcastles you're not going to find this fic or me at all. this is sort of my dirty little secret pseud for my uhh less reputable fics but late phases doesn't belong here anymore. i'm immensely proud of it and so it's going to be represented on my main. i won't make the change until the next chapter is posted so that there will be plenty of time for people to read this note. sorry for the inconvenience.
tags have been updated to include... fucking machines!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Having Bodhi there for him during his heat was everything Johnny could have possibly hoped for.
He had been so worried about so many different things. There were so many variables, so many uncertainties. As it turned out, all that worry was for nothing. His room in the secure ward was exactly like his room at home. It was a near perfect replica of his bedroom from the soft bed and clean sheets to the messy laundry strewn about on the floor.
Bodhi was there with him, smiling at him, hair a halo of soft brown curls around his head. “Here.” He led Johnny by the hand, guiding him closer to the bed. “Can you get up there?”
With his help, Johnny climbed onto the mattress. He got into position without thinking. He just did it, dropped down to all fours and presented himself. It was exactly like the knee chest position, except this wasn’t for a procedure. There was nothing medical about it. This was Johnny being lascivious, offering himself up the way a good omega should.
He didn’t feel any of the hazy effects from going into heat anymore. There was no tingling over his skin, no burning in his belly. His urges hadn’t gone away entirely, though. Something in the back of his mind still itched with the intense desire to be fucked. Hard.
“Please,” Johnny gasped, unsure how he could offer himself up any more than this.
“Let’s get started.” Bodhi mounted the bed to join him. He got into position behind Johnny like he was made to be there.
It wasn’t sensual, Bodhi was barely touching him. Still. Johnny could somehow feel him. Well. Almost feel him. He could almost feel hands gripping his hips and a nose buried in the short hairs on the back of his neck. He could almost feel warm labored breath on his shoulder blades, and hot, sweat slick skin stuck to his own. He could almost feel all the sensations he craved.
Mostly what he felt was Bodhi’s cock lining up and pressing in, in, in. It felt amazing. Johnny moaned shamelessly, pushed back for more.
“Are you okay, Johnny?” Bodhi asked him.
“Yes,” he gasped. “More. Please, more.”
“Okay, you’re all set up for the next few hours. Just relax into it. If you need help, let me know.”
Johnny wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, exactly. It didn’t really matter because Bodhi started fucking him. Slow, sensual, perfectly paced, balanced thrusts. It was oddly measured and precise but, in the best, most pleasurable sort of way.
The intense feelings that Johnny had come to associate with his heat began radiating out from his inner walls. He was so sensitive, each brush of the cock along the inner channels of his body was like electric fire licking him. It made him tremble and shake and cry out shamelessly.
Bodhi’s pace rose and fell, accelerating to something fast paced and stunning, then decelerating back down to slow, sensual, languid strokes. Perfect intervals. Steady, predictable, and oh-so-welcome.
During the slower moments, Johnny heard a noise he couldn’t identify. A whirring? No, a rushing. It was like waves crashing, lapping slowly at the shore. He found himself on the beach, sun beating down on his skin. Bodhi had on a wetsuit, the same one from his phone background. His surfboard was discarded nearby.
Bodhi fucked him gently into the sand. Johnny wished, wistfully, for a few compliments to break the semi-quiet; words to accompany the waves. Bodhi was usually so generous with praise. He always told him how good he was doing. There, just like that, great job Johnny. Except now he wasn’t saying anything, just fucking Johnny steady and slow.
As his speed started to increase, the sounds changed. It wasn’t waves crashing that he heard. It was something different, something faster. The washing machine in the laundry room of his apartment. Or maybe, the dishwasher?
That’s what it was. The dishwasher. Johnny found himself face down on the kitchen floor, cheek pressed to the laminate tile. He could hear the machinery whirring and water sloshing as Bodhi fucked him in time. It felt so fucking good when he went this fast, pounding into him, sparking intense pleasure.
Johnny wondered if his roommate Jeff was home. Was he going to walk in on them fucking on the kitchen floor? God, what would he think? There was something deliciously scandalous about it. Johnny kind of wanted to get caught. He kind of wanted to hear Bodhi praise him over the sounds of the dishwasher running. He kind of wanted to feel hands on him, touching him, lips on his skin, kissing him.
He kind of wanted to be knotted.
He could feel it creeping up on him, rising in him. So close. It was like every prostate massage he’d ever gotten in the mornings but so much better. That feeling amplified, caught in a feedback loop, resonating inside of him louder and stronger with more and more force. Each frantic fuck of a thick cock into his eager hole and he was that much closer...
But then the pace slowly started easing back, gentling down. Waves crashing over a beach. Slow, with just enough punch to make him feel it each time. He glanced over his shoulder to beg Bodhi not to stop, to fuck him faster and harder.
It was hard to turn his head, heavier than he remembered. There was no one behind him. He blinked, confused. He wasn’t on the beach, in the kitchen, or back in his bedroom. Fuck, he had no idea where he was. The walls were all that God-awful omega purple; pale lilac.
Memories half tainted by dreams came rushing back to him. It was like he’d been experiencing everything through the wrong lens but now the glass was crystal clear. He could recall it all correctly now; the way it had actually happened. It was Samsara who helped him onto the black leather-padded berth he was kneeling on now. It was her voice, not Bodhi’s.
“Let’s get started-“ “-okay, Johnny?” “-you’re all set up.”
Her, it had all been her.
Of course, that meant it hadn’t been Bodhi fucking him either. It couldn’t be. There was no possible way. It was too good to be true, all just a dream, stolen from him the moment he woke up. No, it wasn’t an alpha slowly fucking his hole as he came to these realizations.
It was a stim machine.
He glanced blearily over his shoulder, taking the whole of the machine in. It was an especially expensive looking one too. Not like the cheap kind anyone could buy online and set up at home with just a motor and a sex toy attached. This was heavy duty, it had sturdy looking framework and multiple industrial parts.
He’d heard of these before. Fancy heat centers, spas that catered to the rich and wealthy, had high powered ones that clients could pay to use during their heats. Unmated omegas could purchase less industrial versions for their homes to help make their heat easier when regular sex toys and heat aids weren’t enough.
Stim machines had always seemed like... a myth. Something slightly too expensive for most people to own. A joke to be used in raunchy comedy movies and on bad sitcoms. A category on porn sites. Not a thing he would ever have cause to encounter in real life, much less use. Yet, here he was getting pounded by one.
All the noises made sense now. He hadn’t been on a beach with steady crashing waves, or by any household appliances that hummed loudly. It was just the noise of the stim machine, motor whirring, pistons pumping.
“Just relax into it,” Bodhi had said in his dream. Samsara had said in real life.
Johnny did. It felt too good not to enjoy the simple pleasure of getting fucked. If he thought too hard about what he was doing and where, he would be mortified by his predicament. Instead he just closed his eyes and focused, coaxing back his dreams. He tried to remember what it felt like to be fucked by Bodhi.
In his waking state he couldn’t ignore the electric crackle of his heat, the way it burned through his body. His skin was on fire. Sweat dripped from his forehead and beaded up all over him. Hazy confusion sunk down over his thoughts like a heavy fog and he got completely lost in it. It smothered everything else until he was nothing but a body for his heat to run through and a hole to be fucked.
After a while the stim machine ran through its slow course and began ramping up again, fucking faster. Johnny could feel it even more now that he was awake and aware. “Oh, fuck,” he gasped, breathless. Tears formed in his eyes, sticking to his eyelashes. It felt so good he honestly thought he could cry. “Fuck, fuck.” He clenched his hands into fists, straining back against the part of the machine that was pounding into him.
He was definitely going to come this time. He had to. He’d been building up to it for what felt like hours now. Hands shaking, he reached between his legs to try and find his cock. When his palm brushed the head it made him jolt, almost in a bad way. It was way, way too sensitive. He couldn’t... couldn’t touch himself. He just couldn’t. The orgasm had to come from inside.
Oh, and it did. It finally broke; the pounding reached a fever pitch, sliding over his prostate just right. A noise ripped from his throat, not unlike a scream. Pleasure overwhelmed him, so intense that his body and mind shorted out completely. He was coming all over himself, knocked back to his dream as his powerful orgasm stunned him nearly unconscious.
He swore he could hear Bodhi’s voice this time.
“Good, Johnny,” he was saying. “Just like that.”
Johnny whimpered, half collapsed on the breeding bench. Come leaked from his cock, dribbling out of him as the stim machine reached its peak and began ebbing back to long, slow strokes.
He had no sense of time, but it felt like he laid there for hours in a post-orgasmic bliss. He had never felt anything like that before, couldn’t process it. His mind kept short circuiting, cutting out again and again.
Samsara found him like that, barely clinging to any sense of reality. She smiled at him, glowing, beaming so bright it was blinding.
“Doing okay?” She asked, checking in like he was a diner at a restaurant who had just gotten his food and not an especially compromised omega getting mercilessly fucked by a stim machine in the secure ward of a care center during his first heat.
Johnny thought he was crying still? Maybe? He couldn’t tell. He tried to nod, tried to make words. It was too damn hard.
“It’s getting late. Nearly time for the night shift to come on. Should we get you knotted and put to bed?”
Knotted? A knot? Good God, yes! Please! He had no idea how they would do that but he wanted it, wanted it, wanted it. Wanted it so, so badly.
“Want a knot,” he found himself moaning embarrassingly. “Please!”
“Alright.” Samsara seemed to approve, like that was the right answer or something. She even offered him one of those signature winks of hers. “A nice big knot for you, coming right up.”
She disappeared behind him, stepping up to the stim machine. It had been on its down cycle, fucking slow, but now she turned it off and it came to a complete stop. The loss of motion was distinct and strange. Like riding rollercoasters all day and then sitting on a bench, feeling the world move still even when it was actually at rest. His hole was a little worn too, but not in a bad way.
The insertable part of the stim machine, the classic phallic shape that had been sliding in and out of him all day? evening? was still buried deep inside. He thought he would have to pull off it, or that Samsara might take it out, but no. With a click and a hiss, she disengaged the phallic insertable part from the long arm attached to the machine so that it stayed inside of Johnny but allowed him to move freely.
“Ready, Johnny?” She asked.
Johnny didn’t even know what he was supposed to be ready for, but he groaned in the affirmative.
He heard as well as felt a weird click, and a tell-tale pumping noise. Just like a blood pressure cuff. Exactly like the squeeze bulb on a bardex enema nozzle. He didn’t feel anything at first, but then with another squeeze he noticed a bulging inside his hole.
It was perfectly placed, right over his prostate. Fuck, he was so sensitive and raw. Crying, screaming, and moaning all seemed like reasonable responses but all he could do was whimper in helpless pleasure. Another pump, and the knot grew wider still. He did cry out then, fingers digging into the padding of the bench he was heaped face down on. His cock dribbled out more come, or prostatic fluid or something. He didn’t know, all he knew was that it felt good.
“Big enough?” Samsara asked, casual as ever.
Johnny was practically drooling, too overwhelmed to answer.
“Yeah, looks like you’re good. Let’s find you a room to get some rest in.”
He had been dozing on and off for a good long while there but, God, he was fucking exhausted. He needed to sleep.
He had to make the arduous transition onto a gurney when Samsara rolled one in for him. He could barely move. All his muscles shook. Each movement made him perfectly aware of the fat knot filling up his hole. Sliding a few short feet over from one surface to another was just about the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his entire life. He made it though; with Samsara’s help he managed.
She draped a papery thin blanket over him, protecting his compromised state a little. As he shivered through everything he was feeling, - the knot, his heat, the hours of being fucked - Samsara rolled him out into the hallway.
So this was it, the secure ward. It looked like pretty much every other ward in the hospital, there was nothing special about it at all. Except for, well, the room with the stim machine in it. That was kind of unique. Wait, no. Rooms. Multiple. A whole hallway full of them.
They passed by another room with the door closed and machine still going. The sound of the machinery made a Pavlovian thrum of pleasure run through Johnny as he was wheeled by. He had to close his eyes and focus on his breathing. Samsara rolled him all the way down the hall and around the corner. Through a cross section of hallways that appeared to be a central hub with a nurse’s station and orderlies standing around.
There were other heat-stricken patients along the way. One being pushed in a wheelchair and another laid up in a gurney like he was, parked against the wall in the hallway. They all had pink cheeks and vivid red lips. Johnny wondered if he looked the same. He felt a weird solidarity with the other omegas that he passed. He knew how they felt, and they knew how he felt too.
He was wheeled around a corner and at the start of a long hallway there was a room with an open door waiting for him. It wasn't much different than his hospital room outside of the secure unit, all the walls here were painted a familiar shade of lilac. There was no window and no bed, just space for the gurney to be parked.
As soon as he was pushed to a stop in the center of the room, breaks clicked down on the wheels, Samsara got to work setting up a diffuser. She placed it on the nearest table to him as it started puffing out milky white steam. The scent of the air didn't change any, but a sort of calm reached out for Johnny. He could focus a little better.
"What is that?" He managed to ask.
"Alpha pheromones," she told him. "Try taking some deep breaths if you start feeling overwhelmed."
He took a deep breath and to his surprise it did actually help.
“How are you holding up?” Samsara asked.
Johnny didn’t really know how to answer. There was a lot going on with him at the moment.
Sensing that the question was a little too difficult she tried again with a different tactic. “Do you need anything?”
He shook his head.
Some awareness was sinking in, and he was starting to feel embarrassed. She had seen him get fucked by a stim machine. Oh, God. He didn’t even want to imagine what he looked like. Blonde hair a floppy mess, skin all blotchy red and blushy from the heat, sweat slicked, covered in juices. Now he was laying here so weak he was trembling with a simulation alphas cock shoved up inside of him. His face was turned even redder.
“Alright, the knot should deflate on its own over the next couple of hours. Try and get some sleep. I’ll be back early tomorrow morning and I can take you back to the machine room then. Sound good?”
Johnny swallowed and nodded. “Yes,” he breathed. He kind of just wanted her to leave so he could deal with all of this in private; if privacy even meant anything anymore. To be honest he wasn’t sure he had a good grasp on it after everything he’d been through.
Still, he felt some small relief when she switched off the light and told him goodnight, letting him be. Johnny let out a long, slow breath, attempting to collect himself. He was fine. He was totally fine. Completely overwhelmed by his heat, and definitely embarrassed but fine.
He closed his eyes. He planned to fall asleep and dream of Bodhi again. All night long.
Johnny emerged from the secure ward almost six days later, feeling like a dead horse that had been beaten right down into the ground. He could barely walk, but he was supposed to try. Limping heavily, he leaned much of his weight on Samsara as she escorted him out those same double doors he’d gone in. He hurt a little, and ached a lot, but it wasn’t necessarily bad.
His post-heat fatigue reminded him of the various sports he used to participate in, back when he had the time for them. It was like mount biking through a treacherous trail and feeling absolutely exhausted afterwards. Yeah, he would have bruises and blisters and he would hurt in different places, but he still loved BMX. This was kind of the same, except he wasn’t sure if he could say that he loved it. Mostly it was just a thing that had happened to him.
It was late. The lights were all dimmed on the ground floor, rec room door closed with the lights off, no patients or orderlies or other nurses milling around. Well, except for Bodhi. He was actually there waiting for him, a look on his face that was somewhere between hopeful and eager; eyebrows raised, soft brown eyes open wide.
“Oh, Johnny.” He went to his side at once. He placed Johnny’s arm around his shoulders, taking some of his weight. He smelled so good up close.
Johnny had been breathing in synthetic alpha pheromone for so long he had completely forgotten what the real thing was like. He couldn’t help himself; he had no energy left for self-control or restraint. He leaned in to bury his nose in Bodhi’s hair to scent him.
“Easy,” Bodhi laughed, indulging him, letting him do it before playing it off. “I see you survived.”
I missed you, Johnny almost said. I thought about you the entire time.
“Barely,” he muttered instead.
“Come on, let’s get you some food.”
Good lord. Yes. He needed food. He’d been able to eat a few bites of things in between all the fucking and knotting, but not much. He was thirsty too. He let the two nurses guide him along to the closed cafeteria. Their security badges got them in through the locked doors. Johnny sat down at the nearest table in the nearest chair, wincing a little as he did. He was still sensitive.
“I need to leave soon, and I’ve got a few more things to finish up before then,” Samsara told him, tucking her wispy hair behind an ear. “You’ll be alright with Bodhi?”
“Yeah.” Johnny nodded and swallowed. “Thanks, Sam.”
She gave him one last look, patted him on the shoulder, and left. Bodhi had stepped away to rummage around for food in the kitchen. Johnny sat quietly and listened to the sound of his shoes on the tile and the refrigerator doors opening and closing. He was so damn tired he couldn’t help but to close his eyes for a few moments.
When Bodhi came back it was with his arms full of food. Granola bars, bags of chips, pudding. Nothing that would be especially appetizing under normal circumstances but just the sight of any kind of food made Johnny’s mouth water. He was so unbelievably hungry. He grabbed for the first thing in reach, some kind of power bar, and began devouring it. It felt so good just to sit and eat.
“Don’t eat too much all at once, you could make yourself sick. ” Bodhi pulled out a chair and sat down next to him, looking him up and down like he was checking for an injury or something. “How do you feel?”
Mouth full, it took Johnny a few minutes to chew and swallow before he could answer. “Tired.” He shrugged. Just tired. He wanted to go to bed. Well, no. He wanted to finish this food first, but then he wanted to go to bed.
“Everything went okay?” Bodhi pressed him.
Johnny just nodded. It was fine. Really. A lot better than he expected. It was about on par with everything else that had happened to him during his hospitalization.
“I’ll be honest, I was worried about you.”
“You were?” Johnny paused momentarily to stare, wondering if he had heard that right. Or was this another dream he’d conjured up? No, it couldn’t be. Not this time. Just in case he surreptitiously pinched the back of his own hand to see. It hurt enough to tell him that this was all real.
“Yeah, a little,” Bodhi laughed, smiling that charming smile that Johnny had been thinking of all throughout his heat. That smile that had carried him through the fatigue, the orgasms, the relentless pounding of the stim machine. “I knew you would be okay, but I couldn’t help it. You’re my patient, of course I care about what happens to you.”
Ah. Right. Worried about him as a patient, cared about him as a medical professional. Nothing more than that. Johnny should have known better. He wasn’t hurt or anything. It was just a dumb crush. It didn’t make his heart ache that Bodhi didn’t have any real feelings for him in return. He was fine. He was totally fine.
“…what time is it?” Johnny asked, distracting himself with literally any other topic of conversation. His sense of time was all warped. He hadn’t realized it was this late at night until he’d left the secure ward and seen all the low lights and locked doors in the rest of the care center.
Bodhi pulled back his sleeve to check his watch. “Almost midnight.”
“Shit.” Johnny rubbed his tired eyes, unsure what to do with this information. “That’s so late. Wait, isn’t your shift over?”
“Yeah, I clocked out a little while ago.” Bodhi pushed a bottle of water across the table as he spoke, reminding Johnny to drink something too. “But Sam told me your heat was running the last of its course and I wanted to be there for you when you got out.”
Oh. That was a little harder to explain away as just part of the job. Bodhi didn’t have to be here anymore and yet he’d stayed. He wanted to, he said it himself. Johnny was too exhausted to examine that for what it was. He found himself smiling a little, though. “You stayed? For me?”
“Of course.” Bodhi reached out for his arm and squeezed it.
I missed you, Johnny almost said. Again. Stopping himself for the second time that night. I thought about you and couldn’t stop.
Now was the time, wasn’t it? It was just the two of them here. No other patients to see, no other nurses to hear, no orderlies to pry in on them. Just the two of them alone together, Bodhi’s hand on his arm, skin touching skin. Now was the time to confess his feelings, to admit he had a thing for Bodhi. If he was feeling especially brave he would lean in for a kiss, plant one right on his lips.
“…Thanks,” Johnny said instead, quietly. He grabbed for the bottle of water just to do something because he knew he couldn’t lean in for a kiss or confess any of his feelings.
He just couldn’t.
“C'mon.” Bodhi stood up after watching Johnny down an entire bottle of water in one go. (He was thirstier than he realized.) “Let’s get you to your room.”
Johnny thought he had rested enough to be able to stand, but once he actually got up onto his feet, he realized how weak and wobbly he really was. Gathering up a few uneaten items of food to take with, Bodhi readily shouldered Johnny’s weight again. He just did it without thinking.
Johnny was once more tempted to lean in and scent him. He controlled himself, somehow.
Thankfully they went for the elevator instead of the stairs. There was no way in hell Johnny could manage stairs. They made their way to his room on the second floor, and it hadn’t changed a bit in the entire time he was gone. The window along the far wall overlooked the beach with its midnight blue sky and black waves.
Bodhi helped him into bed. Once Johnny hit the soft surface, he nearly crumpled, down for the count, so happy just to lay down and relax. No knot inside of him, no fucking machine, no waves of heat, no tingling on his skin. Just a bed and the promise of hours of sleep. He curled up happily on his side, sighing with relief.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” Bodhi told him.
“Thanks,” Johnny whispered. He hadn’t seized the moment before, he’d been too scared. He thought about trying now, actually saying what he wanted to say. “Bodhi?” He lifted his head, too tired to sit up.
I missed you so much. I thought about you the entire time. I wanted you so badly. I still do.
“I… thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome, Johnny.”
Johnny woke to glaring sunlight pouring in from the window. He laid still where he was, brightness making him see orange behind his eyelids. He reminded himself that he was out of the secure ward, that his heat was done. No one was coming to take him to the machine room, he could just lay here as long as he wanted. He did want to lay there for a good long while, but he was also hungry and in need of a shower.
He was just starting to think about getting up when a knock on the doorframe caught his attention. He blinked his eyes open, not so surprised to see Bodhi standing there in the open doorway.
Afternoon? “Huh?” He sat up with a groan. “What… time is it?”
“A quarter ‘til one,” Bodhi told him.
Johnny was absolutely stunned to learn that he’d slept for twelve hours straight. Apparently, he needed the rest. “I’m gonna miss lunch.” He realized sadly. He was so hungry. He wanted real food, not chips and snacks.
“There’s still time if you head down now. And, just a reminder, you’ve got an appointment with Director Hall in a few hours.”
Oh. That’s right. A non-invasive exam, thankfully. The last one had been such an ordeal. He wasn’t sure he could handle another probe exam like that right now. Or, ever again.
If Johnny remembered correctly, Director Hall had referred to it as an exit exam. Exit as in he was finally going to get to leave this place. It was the only thing he had wanted to do for weeks, but now it felt weird to be leaving. He couldn’t explain it, didn’t fully understand why.
Hunger pains made it that much harder to think straight. He really needed some food.
Bodhi helped him out of bed. “Why don’t you meet me back here in an hour and I can give you one last enema before you leave.”
Johnny’s stomach twisted into a weird knot, something like nervousness. Or anticipation. “…Do I have to?”
“No, no.” Bodhi waved a hand, dismissing that notion. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I just thought it would be nice to go home feeling healthy and clean. Think about it at lunch, let me know what you decide.”
With that in mind, Johnny made the journey down to the first floor on his own. He was a little stiff on his feet, but he managed well enough. Everything was up and running; lights on, doors open, other omega patients out and about. It was a stark contrast from the night before, but it finally felt like things were back to normal.
The cafeteria was mostly empty by the time he arrived, but there were a few other people sitting around eating. There was plenty of food out on the line. Chicken, vegetables, and some kind of soup were all on the menu. It was basic, bland hospital food but he devoured it all readily.
When he was good and full, he went back upstairs. Not to his room, but to the showers instead. It felt absolutely amazing to step into the warm water and wash away the remnants of sweat and slick that were still clinging to his skin. He spent a long time with his head under the spray letting the clean water sink into his hair and down to his scalp. He happily scrubbed himself with soap.
When he was all done with showering he changed into a nice clean gown. He was finally feeling human again, and it was just about time to meet Bodhi back at his room.
He’d thought about it and he definitely didn’t need an enema. No way. He might have taken Bodhi up on an offer for a prostate massage, but after the absolute workout his prostate had gotten during his heat, he knew full well he didn’t need one. He definitely didn’t need an enema either.
Bodhi was already in his room waiting for him, metal cart sitting there beside the bed, squeaky wheel stationary and silent for the time being. “What did you decide?” Bodhi asked conversationally when Johnny came in.
The red rubber bag caught his attention, causing him to hesitate. “I don’t…” No. He didn’t need one. “I don’t know.”
Fuck. That wasn’t what he meant to say at all. Why couldn’t he just say what he was thinking? Around Bodhi it was starting to feel like an impossibility.
“Why don’t we give it a try. A nice gentle one, low volume.” Bodhi held his hand out to him, beckoning him closer.
Johnny felt like a fish being reeled in. “I guess.” He gave in, unsure why he’d caved so easily.
“This will be great, Johnny.”
Johnny went through the familiar motions of getting into bed and getting into the proper position on his side with his one leg pulled up towards his chest. He definitely hadn't missed getting enemas, and he wasn't even looking forward to this one. There was an odd safety that he felt, though. A certainty that this would go exactly the way it always went, no surprises. Just Bodhi, and their routine. He found comfort in it somehow.
Bodhi had disappeared into the bathroom to ready the enema bag but emerged soon enough. Of course, it was bulging, but thankfully it wasn't bubbling over with frothy soap. He hung it from the IV pole and paused there to put on a mask and gloves. He circled around the bed, nozzle in hand, and with a gentle warning he lifted Johnny's gown out of the way to reveal his bare backside.
Johnny was subjected to an inspection first. Bodhi spread him open with gloved fingers and gently ran a thumb over his hole. Already damp, the exploratory touches made Johnny wetter still. He was definitely tender after all that time spent being worked over by the stim machine, and Johnny bit his lip to keep from flinching away. It didn't hurt, he was just very ...responsive. Even a touch as light as Bodhi's made him want to squirm.
"Are you feeling more sensitive now?" Bodhi asked.
Even with that confirmation, Bodhi didn't stop what he was doing. "Any pain?"
"Uh. Not exactly."
"You'll probably be especially sensitive for a while, up to a few weeks. If you have any concerns about that, be sure to bring it up with Director Hall during your exam later. Alright?"
Johnny nodded, though he wasn't actually inclined to bring any of this up with Director Hall.
"I'm going to insert the nozzle now. Bare down for me."
Johnny complied as best he could, up until he felt the hard plastic tip of the enema nozzle actually start to enter him. He gasped all at once, white knuckling the sheets. Shades of his heat’s intense pleasure echoed through his body. His inner walls had been most responsive then, and they still were now it seemed.
"What's wrong?" Bodhi asked.
Johnny swallowed audibly. "I... it's... more sensitive than I realized. It's okay. You can keep going."
Again, and with proper warning before hand, Bodhi began inserting the enema nozzle. Johnny was braced for it this time, and it still knocked the breath out of him, but he managed to take it all the way inside with no fuss. The clamp on the hose was undone and water began flowing into him.
Johnny didn't really feel anything at first, just the usual warmth that came with an enema filling him up. Then he started to notice pressure inside of him growing, inner walls stretching to accommodate the soapy solution that was being displaced from the enema bag into his body.
Usually this was where he got cramps or felt uncomfortable. Except now with how sensitive he was it almost felt good to be stretched like that? Any stimulation at all was sending him on an interesting journey of sensation.
"Johnny?" Bodhi's voice caught his attention. It didn't seem like the first time he'd said Johnny's name. "Hey, are you with me?"
"Yeah," Johnny blinked his eyes open, unsure when he'd closed them, focusing on his nurse instead of the odd pleasure he was feeling. "Yeah, I'm-. Yeah."
"I was asking for permission to touch your lower abdomen. Is that alright?"
Oh. Yeah, Johnny realized he'd heard that question distantly just a few moments ago. He must have zoned out, too distracted by the enema. "Okay," he allowed, willing as ever.
He didn't realize what a mistake that was until it was too late and Bodhi's smooth, gloved hand was cautiously caressing the lowest part of his torso. Apparently, Johnny was rock hard underneath his gown. He'd spent his entire heat with a consummate erection, come and fluid constantly leaking from the tip of his cock. He had grown so used to it, that it had gone unnoticed as it happened again here and now. Unnoticed until the back of Bodhi's hand accidentally grazed across the head. His cock was stiff, valiantly pointing upwards towards his stomach, and unintentionally in the direct path for contact.
Johnny shuddered all over from the touch. The head of his cock was almost as sensitive as his hole. Almost. All it would take was another incidental touch...
"S..Sorry." He managed, face turning beet red. Yeah, even after all this time, there were still things about his body that made him blush.
"That's alright, Johnny," Bodhi took all of this in stride. "It's a normal bodily response. This is all a part of that heightened sensitivity you're experiencing. Try taking some deep breaths." He carried on his usual practice of applying pressure to Johnny's stomach, gently digging his fingers here and there. He carefully avoided brushing Johnny's cock again, though.
Eventually the pleasure of the pressure inside of him became discomfort, overstretched and impossibly full, belly bulging like the enema bag had been earlier.
Hey spoke up. "I don’t think I can take any more.”
Instead of goading him into trying, Bodhi went ahead and clamped off the hose. Johnny held the enema inside of himself for a few long, awkward minutes where he was acutely aware of himself, and the nozzle still pressed into his hole, and his aggressive hard on, and Bodhi standing by his bedside. Thankfully Bodhi said nothing.
Johnny was allowed to release the enema after a few minutes were up. He was helped to the bathroom and given his privacy. When he was done, he felt like a dish rag that had been wrung dry. He was surprised that he actually felt a little good too. Clean, like Bodhi said he would. Definitely aroused but there wasn’t much he could do about that.
He had come a long way since his first little fleet enema in the urgent care of the hospital.
Johnny emerged from the bathroom and dressed himself in light purple sweats for his exit exam. The finality of it all hit him hard. His last enema, his last exam. He was going to leave this place. Really leave. He was going to sleep in his own bed tonight. He was relieved, and definitely happy to be going. At the same time, he was kind of going to miss it here.
No. That wasn’t right. It wasn’t the care center he was going to miss; it was Bodhi. Just Bodhi.
Johnny stepped out into the hall to find him standing there conversing with one of the other nurses. He was so casual and relaxed, smiling easy. Johnny had missed him for six days straight during his heat and he was going to miss him for who knows how many days when he left here.
He should do something. Say something. The moments had all passed, he couldn’t say anything now. Couldn’t lean in for a kiss here in the hallway where people might see.
“Ready to get going?” Bodhi asked, turning to him.
They walked down to the ground floor together, taking the steps one at a time. Even though he knew the exit exam was going to be non-invasive, that didn’t stop the nervous fluttering in Johnny’s chest when they turned the corner to the hallway with the exam rooms. The last time he’d been here he’d been so damn scared.
The sight of the OmEx chair in the exam room definitely made him falter, even now. He was slow about approaching it, but there was nowhere else for him to sit.
“Breathe,” Bodhi reminded him. He took Johnny’s hand and squeezed it in that undeniably calming and comforting way of his.
Heeding the nurse’s advice, Johnny did take a deep breath. He sat down on the very edge of the seat of the OmEx chair. Leaning back into it was a definite no-go, too vulnerable, so he sat straight backed and stiff instead. They waited in comfortable silence for the appointment to start.
When Director Hall arrived, it was with a studious knock on the door. He had a medical file under his arm. He was dressed in fine clothes and a blanched white lab coat, looking stately as usual. He shook hands with the both of them, patient and nurse.
“Hello again, Johnny. How are you?” He asked, getting straight down to business.
“Good,” Johnny answered automatically.
He felt so nervous. It occurred to him now that just because they said this was an exit exam didn't necessarily mean they would let him leave. What if he was still deemed unfit or unhealthy or something? What if he had to stay here for a longer, indefinite period of time? What then?
"How did everything go with your induced heat?" Director Hall asked, sitting down on the same wheeled stool as last time.
"Fine, I think." Johnny said, focusing up, hoping it was the right answer. Were there right and wrong answers here?
"The attending nurse reported back that everything seemed to go accordingly. Do you have any questions or concerns?"
He shook his head. "No, sir."
Director Hall cracked open the medical file and began paging through it thoughtfully. He seemed familiar enough with it to quickly turn over certain pages but stopped to casually skim over others. He asked a handful of questions. "Any pain?" "Feelings of nausea?" "Any changes with slick production?" “Feelings of sensitivity?”
Johnny answered everything honestly, ears turning a little red at some of the things asked.
"Alright," Director Hall eventually stood up, pulling a pair of gloves from the cardboard box on the table. "I'd like to touch certain areas of your body to get a feel for some of your internal organs. When you're ready, please lay back and lift up your shirt."
Although Johnny knew this wouldn't be anything like the last exam, a cold shot of dread hit him anyway. He hesitated, only for a moment, before reminding himself that he could handle this. Thankfully he didn't have to put his feet up in the stirrups, he just had to relax back on the cushioning of the OmEx chair. He lifted his clothes a little awkwardly, revealing his belly, feeling vulnerable as he did it.
All Director Hall did was push down on his belly in different spots. It wasn't so different from what Bodhi had done earlier, though thankfully Johnny's hard-on had wilted since then. Certain spots were a little more tender than others; nothing worrisome. Johnny was eventually allowed to sit up again, examination complete.
"Alright," Director Hall shed his gloves in the waste basket and returned to the medical file. He made a few handwritten notes. "Everything seems relatively normal considering your late transition. You're still slightly underdeveloped, and likely won't be able to get pregnant the way things are now. Would you be interested in extending your stay so that we could attempt to improve organ function?"
"What?" Johnny shifted nervously. "...No, sir. I don't want... No."
Director Hall hummed thoughtfully. "Are you certain that pregnancy isn't something you might want in the future?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."
"Pretty sure?" Director Hall repeated. "If you aren't certain, I'd suggest staying. A lot of omegas-"
"I'm sure." Johnny interrupted, trying for as much confidence as he could muster. He didn't even want to think about having babies. He'd never wanted them before, he didn't want them now, and he couldn't imagine any situation at all where he would want them in the future.
Acquiescing, Director Hall made more notes in the medical file. "That's fine, Johnny." He snagged a prescription pad from the counter and scribbled on it before tearing it off and handing it over. "I'm going to prescribe some oral hormone treatments. Pills to take to keep everything functioning properly. You can take this script and get it filled at any local pharmacy. I'd also recommend an omega focused multi-vitamin and slick moisturizer for any dryness.
Lastly, I strongly suggest immediately seeing an OmPreg doctor as soon as you can, someone who can familiarize themselves with your situation for follow up and yearly exams. Have them contact us, and we'll send all your medical information over."
Johnny never wanted to see an OmPreg doctor again for the rest of his life. Yearly appointments? That had to be a joke. He nodded anyway, even offering a tight smile. "Okay." No way in hell. "I can do that." He wouldn't.
Director Hall shook his hand again. "Your transition's complete, and if there's no other concerns, you can sign yourself out at the admit desk. I'm glad we were able to help you here at the care center, Johnny."
Johnny shook his hand. "Thank you, sir." His eyes found Bodhi standing unobtrusively out of the way, calm, with a pleasant expression on his face. "I'm glad too."
With that, Director Hall left.
So, this was it.
He was really done. Free to go. His stomach did a flip.
"What now?" He asked.
"Is there anything you need from upstairs?" Bodhi asked him.
Johnny couldn't think of anything. He shook his head. "No?"
"Then I'll walk you up front."
His stomach did another flip. He wasn't ready to tell Bodhi goodbye.
Together they walked to the front of the building, towards the admit desk. Bright afternoon light came glowing in, white and pure through the Plexiglas doors. There was another omega up there, sitting at the little table with the phone patients could use, talking quietly into the receiver.
Bodhi walked him right up to the admit desk, standing directly at his side. So close, their arms were nearly touching. Then he reached out and put a warm hand on Johnny's back, between his shoulder blades.
"This patient is checking out," he told the woman at the desk. "Utah, Johnny."
This was all becoming more real by the second. God, he was actually going to leave. It was fine. It was totally fine. He wanted to go. His heart was hurting in his chest, but he was glad to be leaving. He wanted out of this place.
The woman behind the desk passed over a clipboard and pen and excused herself to go grab Johnny's personal effects from somewhere. Johnny scribbled his name and date on the page, signing himself out. He took a deep breath that was surprisingly shaky. He looked up at Bodhi, hoping for a little reassurance.
Bodhi was grinning at him, a smile even warmer than the afternoon sun. He threw his arms open wide, offering himself in a huge hug. Johnny blinked, stepping forward readily. Bodhi gave him the biggest bear hug he could manage. Soft, and fuzzy, like a big alpha teddy bear.
"Johnny, I'm so proud of you," Bodhi told him. His voice was muffled, words rumbling between them. "Congratulations on your transition. You've done amazing."
Johnny stepped back when their hug was done. This was it. Now was the time. Say something, say something. I'll miss you. I don't want to leave you. Do it. "Bodhi, I-" Johnny swallowed nervously. "Thank you for everything. Seriously. I couldn't have done this without you."
Bodhi squeezed him fondly on the shoulder. "Yes, you could have. You're stronger than you realize."
Just say it. Say it. Say something! "I'll miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too." Casual. Polite. Just a thing two people said when saying goodbye. Not near enough of a confession of love to mean anything. The moment was up in smoke. "Get home safe and take care yourself. Okay?"
"Okay." Johnny agreed, trying not to be upset. He watched Bodhi walk away and swallowed the stupid lump in his throat.
The receptionist came back with a bin in hand, his things all crammed into a clear bag. His shoes, his wallet, his phone, his clothes he'd worn to the hospital. He thanked her and took them.
He'd been so sweaty the last time he wore this stuff. It all needed a wash before he could wear it again. He'd be stuck in the lavender clothes the care center provided for a while yet. He stepped out of the way and pulled his shoes on. He tried his phone, but the battery was dead. Fuck.
"Excuse me." Johnny went back to the counter. "Do you have a charger for one of these?" He showed her the phone he had.
"No, I don't. I'll send a message to see if anyone else does."
He thanked her and walked towards the front doors, leaning against them. He was so close to being out of here. He looked around outside, but it didn't look like there were any stores nearby to buy any chargers or anything. It didn't look like there was anything nearby at all. The only things out the front windows were a parking lot that stretched on quite a ways, plenty of cars, and a road in the distance.
While he waited for someone to come save him with a charger, the omega patient who was on the phone ended their conversation and went wandering back into the care center. Johnny hurried over so that he could call for a ride, but then realized he didn't know who to call. A taxi or ride service would be way, way too expensive. He didn't even know if they made three-hour trips, and he lived about that far away. Fuck.
He'd have to call Jeff to come pick him up. Neither of them had a car. Jeff would have to borrow his brother’s, if his brother would let him. Fuck, fuck. He didn't even know Johnny was ready to go. It would take him at least three hours to get here.
With a deep breath and a sigh, Johnny called home. It rang and rang and rang. No one picked up. He couldn't remember Jeff's number. The only place he had it written down was in the contacts on his cellphone. The dead one. So, he was stuck here.
"Do you need the number for a taxi service?" The receptionist asked helpfully.
"No." Johnny rubbed his forehead. "Maybe... the Greyhound station?"
She got the number for him and he called. He had to go through the prompts on an unnecessarily obtuse automated voice system thing before he could find a schedule. The next bus headed for his home town wasn't scheduled to leave until tomorrow.
He tried home again. It rang and rang and rang.
Johnny sat there for almost forty-five minutes, unsure what to do, when an orderly came wandering up with a tangle of white cords in hand asking who needed a phone charger. Relief washed over Johnny. He gratefully accepted the charger and plugged it into the wall outlet. It wasn't long enough to reach the chair near the other phone, so he sat down on the floor. He plugged his phone in and waited for it to juice up enough to show him his screen.
Finally, FINALLY it came to life. He got message after message after message, dozens of them buzzing through. Missed calls from home, from Jeff, from work, from his mom, from other friends. He'd been cut off from the world for so long, it was a real shock to be thrown back in with all these texts and emails and missed calls and voicemails waiting for him.
He texted Jeff first. He explained that he needed a ride and sent the address over. Then he tried to call Jeff's cell. It rang and rang and rang. No answer. He left a message. "It's Johnny, dude. I need a ride home. Call me back."
Johnny sat cross legged on the floor, reading and responding to old messages while he waited for Jeff to get back to him and for his phone to charge. When he hit 87%, good enough for him, he unplugged and turned the charger over to the receptionist. He went to sit outside in the sun. It was warmer out there and the air smelled good. There were seagulls squawking, pattering around on the asphalt. It was nice just to be outside of the care center.
Five o'clock rolled around. Then six. He called Jeff again and again. He called a different bus station. He wondered if he should hire a car? Did he have that kind of money? He could try and hitchhike, though no one in their right mind would pick him up in this outfit. He even tried texting a couple friends to see if they could come get him. He didn't really want to tell them where he was - an Omega Hospital - or have anyone see him in this dumb purple outfit. He was so tired, though. He just wanted to go home.
Seven o'clock and still nothing. What was Jeff doing? Where was he? How could he have missed this many calls and texts? The sun was setting. The sky was all red and orange. Johnny sat in the last of the sunlight, frowning at his phone. It was almost eight now.
He jerked his head up.
Bodhi had come out of a different door and was walking through the parking lot, not too far away. He had a soft, worn zip hoodie on over his scrubs and his hair was pulled back. There was a messenger bag hanging from his shoulder. He diverted his path away from whichever car was his and walked over to join Johnny on the curb instead.
"What are you still doing here?"
"Uh... trying to get a ride home," Johnny answered honestly.
Bodhi seemed surprised. "Is someone on their way?"
Johnny shrugged. "I don't think so."
"C'mon, I'll drive you." He stuck out his hand to help Johnny up off the sidewalk.
"No," Johnny smiled weakly. "I live a couple hours away; I can't make you drive that far."
"Oh," Bodhi seemed to think about it for a moment. "That's alright, I like long drives. Come on, let's get you home."
Johnny still wasn't sure. "I don't want to impose."
"It's fine. The patient I was assigned to at work was released today.” He winked. “So, I have tomorrow off. I'm up for a late-night drive if you are."
Johnny considered it for a few seconds longer. He definitely felt bad relying on Bodhi like this, but he had no idea how else he was supposed to get home. And, if he was being really honest with himself, he was glad to have more time with Bodhi. Johnny grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled himself up.
"I can pay for gas."
"You don't have to," Bodhi nodded towards one of the aisles in the parking lot, starting towards it.
"I want to, as thanks. For driving me so far."
“Okay, we’ll see.”
Bodhi drove a classic Jeep Wrangler, olive green in color. He graciously circled around to the passenger side to open the door for Johnny. It wasn’t even that romantic, but something about the gesture made him flustered. He couldn’t remember if anyone had ever done anything chivalrous like that for him before.
The interior of the Jeep was obviously well lived in, but it wasn’t littered with trash or anything. There was some sand in the carpet of the footwells and a handful of tree shaped air-fresheners hanging from the rear-view mirror. Johnny couldn’t smell any pine though; the scent of Bodhi was too overpowering. It was deep and rich and comforting and warm. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, enjoying it.
“So, which way is home?” Bodhi asked when he got into the driver’s seat.
Bodhi passed his bag into the back seat and took out his phone, getting directions. He turned the car on, radio bubbling quietly to life, piping out some mellow sounding rock music that Johnny wasn’t familiar with at all. They started out of the parking lot, leaving the care center and all the things that had happened there in the dust.
“I won’t be offended if you fall asleep,” Bodhi told him, blinker clicking rhythmically as he waited for a break in traffic to turn onto the main road.
Johnny gave him a curious look.
“I know how much you’ve been through these past few days. I don’t expect you to stay up and keep me company or anything like that. It’s okay if you nod off, I’ll wake you when we get close to Clinton.” He reached across the center console to squeeze Johnny’s knee.
Johnny bit back a noise. “I... okay.” He wanted to stay awake, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t tired.
With the sun behind them, the sky was purple. Omega purple, a soft lilac-lavender shade that wasn’t too far off from the color Johnny was wearing. The streetlights were on, orange-yellow circles cast down on the road. Trees cropped up along the roadside, sparse at first, but then so steady and thick they were practically passing through woods.
Bodhi reached out to turn the radio up a little, tapping his thumbs on the dashboard. Johnny watched him, happy to be in the same space as him, content just to see his face and breathe in his scent and be near him. He definitely didn’t mean to drift off, but Bodhi was right. He was exhausted, and the heavy alpha scent in the car was lulling him.
Johnny woke to the sound of the Jeep door closing. It was bright as hell. He squinted, realizing they were stopped at a gas station. Bodhi was out filling the tank up. Johnny meant to pay, but he was too tired to put up a fuss about it right now.
He closed his eyes again.
“Johnny?” Bodhi gently shook his shoulder. “Hey, Johnny? We’re almost five miles away.”
Johnny blinked himself awake again.
They were back on the road, driving steadily along, gas station far behind them. The sky was dark blue. He could see the city in the distance, tall buildings all clustered together. He sat up a little and rubbed his eyes, trying to get a better sense of where they were.
“Yeah,” Johnny replied, groggy. His neck hurt from the way he’d slept, but he did feel a little better after a nice long rest. “We need to take the second street exit.” He said, squinting at the road signs.
Bodhi nodded, shifting lanes. They drove past the baseball stadium. Past all the government buildings; the courthouse, city hall. Johnny gave sleepy directions in between stifling yawns, saying where to turn and when. They drove past businesses and office buildings. Past residential townhouses all smooshed together. Past the park, and the library. Into the part of town that was slowly being gentrified.
Shit. It had been a month since Johnny had been here. The restaurant on Oak street wasn’t there anymore, signage stripped down, windows black. The shoe store looked permanently closed. Some tattoo parlor he didn’t recognize had cropped up a block from his apartment. Life had gone on without him, changing in ways he hadn’t expected.
Bodhi pulled right up to the front of his building. Thankfully it looked exactly the same, nothing here had changed at all.
Johnny felt suddenly very bad for sleeping away three whole hours he could have spent talking to Bodhi, making a move or something. Such a stupid mistake. He hesitated to get out, tempted to say or do something here and now. Something better than just saying ‘I’ll miss you.’
“Thanks for letting me drive you home, Johnny,” Bodhi said, speaking up before Johnny could figure out what to say. “Listen, if you need anything, please don’t ever hesitate to contact me. Okay? If you call, I’ll come.”
Johnny could feel his ears turning red. What was that supposed to mean? Was this a come on? Or was Bodhi just that nice? “I... don’t have your number.”
Bodhi smiled easily. He plucked up a pen from the cup holder and reached across to gently take hold of Johnny’s hand. His fingers uncurled, palm open. The pen tip etched blue numbers onto the heel of his thumb.
Johnny glanced down at his hand, affection and happiness coursing through him. He looked across at Bodhi again. He didn’t want to leave him. “I don’t know how to say thank you.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Bodhi opened his arms for another hug.
Of course, Johnny leaned over to wrap his arms around Bodhi’s middle. There were faint traces of hospital scents like sterile alcohol clinging to him but mostly Johnny smelled the heavy alpha scent that permeated the car. He couldn’t help but to turn his head and bury his nose into the warm skin of Bodhi’s neck.
“Bodhi?” He whispered, breath warm.
Bodhi pulled back to look at him, ready to listen to whatever it was he had to say.
A car horn startled the both of them, beeping a handful of times before blaring as it drove passed. Bodhi laughed, chagrined. “I guess I should get out of the road.“
Fuck. The moment was ruined again. Johnny was already so hesitant to say anything, the last thing he needed was any excuse not to. He took the hint from the universe and popped open the Jeep door, climbing out.
“Thanks for taking me home.” Johnny said, making sure he had his things. “Seriously. Drive safe.”
“I will.” Bodhi smiled. “Goodnight, Johnny. Goodbye.”