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You're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece

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Dazai Osamu has always been an annoying, whiny and arrogant asshole in the redhead’s eyes. In the years they’ve spent together, there has never been a time where the brunet has given consideration to his ears – hurting a little too much all thanks to that irritating voice of his. Dazai has become too unbearable for his own good during the past years, too irksome that Chuuya begins to question his life decisions. How was he able to tolerate him again?

“Our sons are going on a date! What kind of parents are we if we ignore that?!” Dazai dramatically sighs, slamming his fists onto the table.

He has no idea at the slightest bit.

The Port Mafia Executive rubs his temple for the millionth time today. The ground has been shaking beneath him for a while now, due to the insufferable headache his other half has caused him — which still continues at this very second — but the detective seems to act oblivious to it. They are currently seated in the corner of the restaurant, not too far from the white-haired teen and an emo kid they’ve been stalking for half an hour now. Dazai is hiding behind the menu chart, while the redhead is trying hard not to smash the glass he’s holding to his ex-partner’s head.

“For the last time, they are not our sons.”

“Oh, only Akutagawa-kun, right? But Atsushi-kun wanted to be a part of our family.”

“Then how can he marry Akutagawa if that happe—okay fuck that isn’t even what I should worry about.”

“Atsushi would love you as his stepmom~”

“Are you ignoring me?!”

“Thinking about it, he’s definitely going to get along with our youngest child!”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“Q, of course.”

“Fuck no, anyone but him.”

Dazai smirks. “So you admit you want a family with me, Chuuya~?”

The Mafioso slams his fist against the table, just as Dazai did earlier, earning a few glances from the other customers. Luckily, the new double black duo, as Dazai dubbed them, are too engrossed to their conversation to even mind the commotion. Chuuya apologizes to the waiter who approached them to keep the noise down, all the while kicking the brunet’s foot under the table.

Dazai laughs and laughs until tears are forming in the corner of his red-brown eyes. The other, still red from the embarrassment, decides to stand up and just leave him alone, pondering why he ever agreed to this silly plan of following the two males on their date. The detective recovers from his laughter though – much to the former’s disappointment – holding Chuuya’s wrist down to sit back with him. The redhead growls at his action.

“I have your wine collection, remember?”

Oh, right. That’s why.

“Don’t be salty, Chuuya. As their parents, we should at least watch them.”

“Akutagawa is not my fucking son, damn it!”

“Not yours only, he’s our son, remember?”

“I don’t want an emo for my child.”

“Chuuya! You should learn to love all your child equally.”

Chuuya heaves a sigh. There’s no use arguing with Dazai now, especially when he’s being enthusiastic in following the teens around. With his wine collection held hostage by one and only Dazai fucking Osamu, he cannot seem to do anything other than heed to his childishness; no more than a sheepdog wagging its tail to its owner because he has some food in his hands. And not to mention, no matter how much he wants to go home and just completely forget the day ever happened, he will never risk his wine. Fuck, now he has no other choice but to be stuck with the other whether he likes it or not — but most definitely, he does.

“He’s whispering sweet words to Atsushi-kun. Our child is all grown up now!”

And with that, Chuuya is torn between killing Dazai and himself.


Akutagawa and Atsushi goes to the department store after, still with the former double black duo trailing behind. The teens, mostly Atsushi, speed around trying to find new clothes to purchase, given that he has already received his paycheck for the month. Nothing piqued the taller’s interest though, except a few black coats and shirts here and there. From a view of an outsider, he looks really bored going around chasing after an overly hyped date – but the blush on his cheeks whenever Atsushi comes out from the fitting room says otherwise.

As for Dazai and Chuuya, the two waste their time bickering over clothes. Whenever the redhead picks something up from the clothes stand, count on the detective to always spew unnecessary comments about his, according to him, shitty fashion sense. Dazai doesn’t seem to look for clothes though; only hiding behind dresses to spy on his sons to which Chuuya finds a good reason to punch him in the gut without warning.

That is, until, the devil himself speaks.

“Oh, Chuuya, look! Stilettos.”

The former balls his hands into a fist. There is really no way to shut the brunet up for even a mere second. The ex-Mafioso grabs the stiletto to show it to the redhead, a wide and mocking grin on his lips. And Chuuya fights the urge to strangle him onto the floor. He certainly needs to take anger management classes.

“Only five inches?” Dazai leans his chin onto a finger thoughtfully. “Hey miss, do you happen to have some heels over 10 inches? My friend here really needs to make up for his heigh—“

Chuuya kicks him in the shin, hard.

“E-eh?! What was that for?”

“You fucking know what that was for!”

“Is it because of what I said?!”

“Wow, bravo! I’m so proud of you, you piece of shit!”

Dazai cracks an innocent smile, before turning to the lady again. “I’m sorry, I mean my boyfriend needs to make up for his height. Such a good lover, right? He just doesn’t want me crouching down again just to kiss him.”

Chuuya blushes at the statement, but quickly returns it back to a scowl (though he’s sure Dazai has seen past his lame façade already.) “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“I don’t know?”

“Fuck you!”

“Chuuya.” He purrs into his ears. “Not now, we’re in public.”

He turns as red as his hair. The brunet sure takes it as a better reason to tease him further. “But if Chuuya really wants to have a little show with audience, I guess I don’t mind~ You know I can always strip you naked here.”

Okay that’s it. That is fucking it.

As he is about to snap and tell the brunet that he’s going to sleep on the couch later that night, Dazai’s lips has already landed on his own successfully. Just a quick peck but enough to send the wild butterflies on his stomach hammering his insides with grace. Of course, Dazai ends up laughing when his mouth hangs open, stiff, as the redhead’s fist stops midway. It’s cute how Chuuya gets easily flustered when it comes to the brunet, no matter how big or small the action is.

“Come on, before we lost sight of them.” Dazai smirks, lacing their hands together while the lady in the aisle blushes at the scene. The detective sways their hands together, humming his favorite suicide song in the middle of the store and a crowd who’s seen their sappy display earlier—though pretends as if they didn’t for the sake of their sanity. Chuuya grimaces, but the tint of red on his cheeks suggests he feels the exact opposite.

Remind him why he loves that asshole again?


Their journey continues to an art shop, when Akutagawa tells the young detective he needs to buy new set of calligraphy pens, promising it will only take a minute. Atsushi doesn’t really mind, happier that his date has found a new interest other than killing people with the demon in his suit. The spies though, isn’t even at least a bit happy given that both of them aren’t particularly into arts. Not to mention, the redhead notices, Dazai is more interested in a blonde girl by the aisle 6.

Which just made Chuuya scoff in disgust.

“You’re so beautiful that the sky will be rendered speechless before you.” He takes her hand and kisses it. “But alas! Your beauty will be worthless if you won’t use it to something more meaningful, like a double suicide with me.” Dazai winks seductively.

Chuuya rolls his eyes and proceeds to trail behind the new double black. The duo has been enjoying their time looking at different sets of brushes hanging by the shelves. Looking at the two, Chuuya remembers his lack of understanding for arts; he’s actually more into books and poetry if you ask him – but even so, he loves admiring paintings. Most especially the self-portrait Dazai painted back at their Port Mafia days—


He casts his glance towards the detective who seems to be enjoying his little time. He kisses the other’s fingers, licking his lips almost teasingly. Flowers and disgusting hearts start to dance around the two animatedly, which definitely, definitely doesn't frustrate Chuuya at the most nauseating way possible.

To hell with Dazai! He’s not going to fucking stay at the brunet’s side for minutes just to watch them flirt around. That blonde isn’t even that pretty. Okay, she looks cute, looks rich and maybe a little bit of a hottie but no, she is no way near beautiful and why would Dazai even choose her over hi—

Well, he definitely needs to stop.

So the best thing he can do is ignore that shitty waste of bandages and just follow the duo’s movements closely, watching as Akutagawa crinkles his nose to judge the pens hanging on display. Atsushi seems to help him choose, a genuine smile – as usual – painting his curved lips. They look so innocent together, if you’re going to ignore the faint smell of blood on Akutagawa’s coat. He and Dazai, however, are and will never be associated with the word innocent in their entire lives, unlike their sons—subordinates.

In the corner of Chuuya’s eyes, he sees Dazai slowly leaning down to whisper to the blonde’s ear.

Fucking asshole.

Akutagawa soon finds the material he’s looking for, with the help of the man tiger of course, and makes a move towards the counter. The asshole though, doesn’t move from his disgusting place beside the girl – and that fucker, they’re gonna lose sight of the two if that damn bastard refuses to leave that not-so-beautiful-trust-him blondie.

So in the end, Chuuya does the most logical thing to do – which certainly, most certainly not because he’s itching to punch Dazai on the face for the twist in his guts that is called jealousy:

Take what is his.

He walks to Dazai, smiling seductively.

“Let’s go, love.” He purrs into his ears.

Chuuya, for starters, is not one for public display of affection, most certainly not petnames. But desperate times call for desperate measures and he’s too irritated right now to even think of what the girl or even Dazai would make out of his boldness. Well, okay, he tried to ignore that bitch pressing himself to Dazai more and more everytime an exchange of words occurs. Because really, what kind of woman would flirt with someone who just literally invited her to a double suicide?!

Fuck that, Chuuya is the only one allowed to tolerate Dazai.

The brunet, however, just widens his grin at the display – after an enlargement of eyes and something needing between his thighs, to which Chuuya doesn’t have to know – and brings up that closed-eye smile again. Instead of saying something to make the redhead less embarrassed of his action, he slings his arms over the lady’s shoulder, rubbing his cheeks with hers. The latter blushes, tint of red coloring her so-not-adorable-fucking-piece-of-shit cheeks. This just triggered Chuuya more, string of curses racing around his mind at the moment. That goddamn fucker.

“Fucking move or else…”

“Or else what?” Dazai challenges, raising a brow.

The ex-Mafioso pushes himself more to the girl’s personal space, almost touching her chest. Okay, to hell with public indecency or whatsoever, this guy needs to know his place. He grabs a fistful of Dazai’s hair, bumping their foreheads together, before meeting his lips agressively.

The way Chuuya moves his lips against him is kind of intoxicating, melting at the touch just like how he always is in every kiss they shared. He places his hand on the curve of his hips, letting the redhead take control of the kiss. Chuuya licks his lower lip then, to which Dazai responds with the opening of his mouth to welcome the other’s tongue. Their tongues dance in melody, almost needing, and maybe that is the moment Dazai forgets what they even came for and just moves his hand to the buttons of Chuuya’s shirt and—

“S-sir, the customers are getting uncomfortable. We suggest, um, you leave.” One of the shop’s staff blushes as he stutters over the request. Dazai rolls his eyes, he has never tried public sex before so maybe he thought today would be the day, no matter how inappropriate it is whichever view you look into. Count on the bastards to ruin the moment.

Chuuya, on the other hand, is blushing furiously.

The exit the shop almost immediately, yet the stares of nosy civilians haven’t left their backs. Chuuya paces the floor a little faster, shaking his head every now and then. The brunet hums in victory, enjoying the sight of his ex-partner fumbling around his pocket for comfort. Hah, chibi you shouldn’t really be so flustered when we’ve done so much worse.

“Just so you know, I’m not jealous.” Chuuya suddenly speaks, huffing in irritation.

A smirk instantly forms on Dazai’s lips. “You so are~”

“I am not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No fucking way, bastard.”

“Deny it all you want Chuuya but you clearly are.”

“Shut up! I’m not!”

“But you were so red in jealousy earlier!”

“I was fucking angry because you’re harassing the poor girl!”

“Really? You looked like you’d prefer burying her alive though.”

“Fuck off.”

“Then kiss me again, Chuuya~”

The redhead snaps. “Fucking kiss that blonde bitch and never come near me again, you piece of shit.”

Dazai chuckles lightly. Chuuya strides faster, trying to get away from the other in haste. His fedora hat almost falls from his head, but good thing his reflex is as fast that he is able to prevent his only love – aside from wine – from crashing against the floor. Noticing his discomposure, his chuckle continues until Chuuya is a good 20 meters away from him. The redhead rolls his eyes, still annoyed with his vagabond of a lover.

Dazai watches his back almost fondly, slowly disappearing from his sight until he steps to chase his fiery short partner. Chuuya elbows him on the stomach, still red after reminders of that humiliating scene he just did with Dazai on the shop. And to think that he atually got annoyed when they were interrupted? Fuck, it’s like he doesn’t recognize himself anymore. Dazai though, seems unbothered by the scene.

As the brunet realizes, there are things he should really be thankful for – and one of them goes by the name Nakahara Chuuya and the height 160 centimeters.


After fifteen minutes of walking around trying to find the new generation of double black they’ve been tailing ever since the day started, they finally found them on a jewelry shop, specifically an extravagant one, looking at pieces of glowing rocks in the display. The glass reflects every glow of the shining material, sparking the interest of one short angry redhead at Dazai’s side. Silver and gold shades the entire store, alluring bystanders to come look at their brags of jewels.

The brunet catches his stare immediately, a soft smile on his face.

“They look…so genuine.” Dazai doesn’t know whether he is talking about the jewelries or the duo in general. So he retorts by enveloping the other in a tight hug, in the corner of the store where they’re trying to take glimpses of the two. Chuuya leans to his chest, sighing heavily as he realizes how tired he is after all that has happened. He wraps his arms around the other’s waist, immediately being confined in the brunet’s body heat.

A simple touch, yet so meaningful.

Atsushi picks up an engagement ring, showing it to his date, thrilled. Akutagawa nods in agreement, adoring the perfect lines and carving of the small piece of gold. He examines it just as fast, smiling fondly when the other decides to purchase the ring. To Chuuya, it is rather confusing, because why the fuck would you show your ring to your lover just before you even propose? Well maybe the tradition has changed already, considering that no one ever tried to propose to him so he’s absolutely clueless when it comes to those things. And he’s definitely not waiting for the thought to cross Dazai mind though.

When the paper bag containing their purchase is finally given to Atsushi, the Mafioso takes his hand in his, swaying it with the beat no one can hear except the both of them. They look at each other as if they mean the world too one another, as if they’re their everything – a look often seen at Dazai’s eyes whenever he looks straighly at Chuuya’s ocean blue orbs, except more of a taste of innocence and purity. The double black laughs lightly, following every step of the duo as they leave the store unaware of two shadows lurking behind them.

“I think it’s enough following for today. Let’s go home, Chuuya.”

“Finally. I was wondering when you’ll realize that.”

“Hmm~ are you tired yet, chibi?”

“Of course I am, you fuck.”

“Woah! I thought you’re tired already, why are you suggesting lewd things?”

“That’s not what I—whatever. I’m too tired to argue with you.”

“Want me to carry you?”

“No way. Who knows when you’re going to drop me?”

Dazai nuzzles his russet hair affectionately, the tip of his nose tickling Chuuya’s head in the process. The brunet’s warmth seeps into his skin like fire, burning his insides in a passionate manner. At this moment, he feels as if he isn’t a criminal, a murderer, a Port Mafia Executive whose strings are plucked easily by one Mori Ougai. As if the world beyond the two of them ceases to exist, stars aligning at the touch of Dazai. The same Dazai who’s been with him since childhood, betrayed him and the Mafia, reconciling with him after the four years he was discarded at the darkness.

This Dazai who he loves and loves him as much back.

And it all seems to perfect – most especially when said brunet opens his mouth, leaning down to whisper to his ears with all sincerity he’s seen from him a lot of times already:

“I’ll never let you go again. Trust me on that, partner."

And if that isn’t the most beautiful sound he has ever heard, he doesn’t know what is.


“Do you think Chuuya will like this?”

“Yeah, Jinko certainly said he saw Chuuya-san looking at that ring specifically at the corner of his eye.”

“That’s good, then. Thank you for your hard work.”

“Um, Dazai-san?”

“No, call me dad.”

“D-dad, I was wondering why you need to pretend stalking us. You could’ve just asked him out like a normal person would.”

“Now where’s the fun in that? Of course I have to know his type of ring uniquely, that’s why I asked you guys to go to that store!”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’ll go now. Your mom is waiting for me.”

“Wait dad—“


“Can I take Jinko out on a date? I mean only him and me please.”

“No, you’re grounded.”


“No buts, son.”

“I hate this family.”


Chuuya said yes, of course.