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Neither Doyoung nor Jaehyun remember the first time they met. It was a Monday in June, both boys enjoying a day off from school. Doyoung is 9 years old and Jaehyun is 7. The weather is warm and Jaehyun hops off the swing set on the playground to take a drink of water. He sits in the shade of nearest tree next to a boy he doesn’t know, but sees at the playground often. The boy is looking at him weirdly and Jaehyun realizes that he must be thirsty too.

“You want some?” Jaehyun offers, holding up his half empty bottle of water.

“You don’t have cooties?” the boy asks, laughing at the expression on Jaehyun’s face.

“Of course not! Girls are gross. Yuck.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.” He takes the water bottle from Jaehyun’s outstretched hand and gulps it down in one go. “Thanks, I was really thirsty.” Doyoung is also very hungry, but he doesn’t mention it.

“You’re welcome,” Jaehyun replies. He’s short for his age, soft smiles and dimples, and even though Doyoung is also very young he can tell that Jaehyun is cute, the sort of cute that makes people like you even though they don’t know you at all. He decides he likes this cute boy who offered him half his water. “I’ve seen you here before,” Jaehyun adds. “Who do you come with?”

“No one.”

“What?!” Jaehyun explains. “You walk to the park all alone? That’s so cool.”

Doyoung shrugs. “I guess so. How about you?” Jaehyun waves to a lady sitting on a bench. She waves back and points to her watch. They must have to go soon. “Is that your mom?”

“Nope,” Jaehyun shakes his head. “That’s my nanny.”

“Oh. Your mom must be at work.”

Jaehyun shakes his head again. “My mom doesn’t work. “

“Then why do you need a nanny?” Doyoung is very confused. He wished his mom didn’t have to go to work either. That way she could take care of him and he wouldn’t have to go to the playground alone. He thought all moms who didn’t work got to spend time with their kids.

“I dunno,” Jaehyun replies. “But it’s okay. My nanny is nice. Sometimes she lets me sleep in her bed when I have nightmares.”

“She lives at your house?”

“Yup! If she didn’t I’d be all alone. My house is really big and that would suck if I was all by myself.” Jaehyun turns away from Doyoung because he hears his nanny calling for him. “Awwww man. I gotta go,” Jaehyun pouts. “Hope I see you here again.”

Doyoung smiles. “I hope so too.”

“Maybe next time you can come over and play. I’ll ask my nanny about it.”

“Okay,” Doyoung’s smile lights up his entire face.

“See ya!”

“Bye!”

They don’t meet at the playground again. Doyoung is sent to live with his grandparents in the countryside because his mother can no longer care for him.

//

Its years before Doyoung and Jaehyun see each other again. Doyoung is 16 and works at a convenience store while Jaehyun is 14 and a freshman in high school.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Doyoung says, staring down the kid in front of him. Doyoung knows that he’s not exactly an adult, but if he was a kid than the boy standing in front of him is an infant, a fetus.

“No… I’m… You heard me,” says the boy with all the fake conviction he can muster. Doyoung recognizes the boy’s uniform. Great. One of those entitled rich brats.

“You asked to buy a pack of cigarettes, right?”

“Right.”

“There’s a sign right here that says I have to ask you for ID to verify that you’re 18 years old. You can read, right?” The boy is nervously nibbling on his bottom lip when he nods his head and Doyoung rolls his eyes. “No one has to get in trouble. Just walk out of here and we’re straight.”

“Uhhhm…” the boy is really going at that lip and Doyoung is surprised that it hasn’t started bleeding. “You can’t just sell me the one pack? Just this once?”

“No can do. I’d lose my job since and unlike some people I really, really need this – Fuck, will you quit biting your lip already?” The kid’s nerves are starting to rub off on him and it was irritating.

“Sorry,” the boy says, but after a few awkward seconds he makes no attempt to leave the store.

“Look, kid. You don’t strike me as the juvenile delinquent type. Why do you need the smokes so bad?” Doyoung didn’t think it was possible, but the boy deflates even further.

“It’s just a dumb dare. I didn’t wanna do it, but it’s all part of some stupid hazing ritual for freshmen. They’re waiting for me on the corner and if I don’t come back with at least one cigarette then I’m getting my ass beat. Look at me. I don’t stand a chance against a bunch of bullies.”

Despite his best efforts, Doyoung finds that he cares about what will happen to kid shuffling his feet in front of him. He looked exactly like a target for bullies, on the short side, a little round, with a reserved personality. Doyoung thinks the boy is pretty cute, but that’s neither here nor there.

“I can’t believe I’m actually telling you this,” Doyoung starts, rubbing a hand over his face. He hands over the key to the restroom in the back of the store. “Fuck it. Go look in the cabinet under sink. Behind the bottle of bleach there should be a half empty pack.”

The boy takes the key from Doyoung and just kind of blinks at him before he mumbles a “thank you” and heads to the restroom. When he comes back he’s not too discreetly hiding something in the left pocket of his jacket. Doyoung laughs because the kid is just so hopeless.

“Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I owe you my life,” the kid says, no trace of a joke in his voice.

“Uh huh. You better go. The death squad awaits.”

“I… Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

The boy exits the store and Doyoung shakes his head. “What the fuck.”

It’s past midnight and Doyoung’s shift is about to end. He’s pleasantly surprised to see the kid from earlier enter the store. He has a witty comment on ready to go, but the words die in his throat when he sees the kid has a busted lip. The kid shrugs when he notices Doyoung staring at this wound.

“They beat me up anyway.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Actually I came here to thank you.”

“You already thanked me though.”

“I know… It’s just… Uhm,” the boy tries to nibble on his lip and winces. “Uhh… I’m Jaehyun.”

Cute. “I’m Doyoung.” Jaehyun beams as if he’s accomplished something he’s set out to do and Doyoung is momentarily distracted by his dimples. “Isn’t it too late for you to be out?”

The boy, Jaehyun, shrugs. “I snuck out.”

“And I thought you weren’t the juvenile delinquent type. Guess I was wrong.”

“I was, uhm, I was wondering if I could pay you back somehow? Maybe buy you some food or something. Not here, but like, better food.”

“Now?” Doyoung asks. He’s amused by how nervous Jaehyun seems to be.

“Sure. If that’s okay with you.”

“Don’t you have school tomorrow?”

“Don’t you?” The way that Jaehyun narrows his eyes at him let’s Doyoung know that he’s not entirely a pushover. Interesting.

“Nope,” Doyoung replies. “Got my GED just last month .”

“Whoa. You must be smart.”

It’s Doyoung’s turn to shrug. “I guess.” A few awkward moments pass, Jaehyun awkwardly shuffling his feet and Doyoung silently observing him.

“I guess that’s a no then,” Jaehyun finally mumbles, staring at the floor.

“I didn’t say that.” Doyoung smiles when Jaehyun looks up and their eyes meet.

“Next time?”

“Mhm. Next time.”

//

“Shut the fuck up, Jaehyun.”

“Hyung,” Jaehyun whines. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” He’s lying on the couch in Doyoung’s studio apartment. There isn’t any room left so Doyoung has to sit on the floor. Typical.

“Don’t ‘hyung’ me, you brat” Doyoung replies. “You only ever call me that when you want something.”

“What I want, hyung, is for you to go to junior prom with me.”

“Stop being ridiculous, Jaehyun.”

“What’s ridiculous? I don’t have a date, there’s no one I want to ask, and it’s not like you’ve got anything going on.”

Doyoung sighs. He was trying, he really was, but trying to make a living as a singer was hard. As it was he was barely affording his tiny apartment. His grandparents still sent him money whenever they could and the guilt often kept him up at night. He hadn’t spoken to his mother for years.

Sensing Doyoung’s change in mood, Jaehyun sits up. “Hey, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” Doyoung just hums in response so Jaehyun sits on the floor next to him, both their backs leaning against the couch. “No luck this week?”

“None.” Doyoung had auditioned to be the lead singer of several local bands, but had yet to hear from any of them.

Jaehyun leans over to rest his head on Doyoung’s shoulder. “All the more reason you should come to prom with me. I’ll rent you a tux and you can forget about real life for awhile.”

“Uh huh. As if you’d bring a guy as your prom date.”

“We could go as friends.”

Doyoung snorts. “It hurts my feelings when you talk like that, you know.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“I know, I know,” Doyoung replies. He stands up and walks to the kitchen. “What do you want to eat? I’ve got ramen and ramen. Maybe I could- ” His words, and air supply, are cut off when Jaehyun envelops him in a bone crushing hug from behind.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun says. He’s 17 now and can almost rest his chin on Doyoung’s shoulder. “You know I don’t care about that stuff.”

“You don’t?” Doyoung questions while staying in Jaehyun’s embrace. “You can’t even say it.”

“I don’t care that you’re gay!” Jaehyun exclaims. “I don’t care that you like guys, or that you suck cock, or that- ”

“Okay, Okay. I get it,” Doyoung laughs, patting the arms wrapped around his waist. “Don’t strain yourself.” Doyoung makes a move to turn around, but Jaehyun tightens his grip.

“No, stay like that. I want to tell you something.”

Doyoung’s heart starts to thunder in his chest because he thinks he knows what’s coming. He’s had his suspicions for awhile.

“I think,” Jaehyun starts, “I think I like you.”

Even though Doyoung can’t see him, he knows Jaehyun is biting his bottom lip. It was his worst nervous tick. This isn’t what Doyoung was expecting as Jaehyun’s coming out, not that it was a coming out exactly, but he was proud of him nonetheless. He turns around to face Jaehyun.

“I don’t really know what it means,” Jaehyun says.

“Obviously it means I’m really fucking hot,” Doyoung replies. He laughs when Jaehyun slaps his chest.

“I was being serious!” Jaehyun says and Doyoung can only laugh harder at the incredulous look on Jaehyun’s face.

“I know you were being serious and I’m glad you told me, but I also know you and I know you don’t want to make a big deal out of this. Am I right?”

Jaehyun mumbles something that sounds like, “I hate when you’re right” and Doyoung smiles before taking Jaehyun into an embrace of his own. Jaehyun doesn’t reciprocate, but Doyoung recognizes that as his insolent streak showing.

“I want you to know that you can tell me anything,” Doyoung says. “Even if you think it’s weird or wrong or stupid. I can’t promise I won’t get angry at you, but I can promise that I’ll listen.”

“Alright already. Enough with the after school special.”

Doyoung releases Jaehyun from his embrace and notices that Jaehyun’s eyes are glistening from unshed tears, but he doesn’t comment on it.

“Let’s eat now, okay?”

“Okay.”

They don’t go to prom together. Jaehyun doesn’t go to prom at all. He lies to his parents and shows up at Doyoung’s apartment in a tuxedo with two large pizzas and a bottle of whiskey he’d taken from his father’s personal stash. He falls asleep in the middle of the movie they’re watching, his head in Doyoung’s lap. Doyoung has to fight the urge to kiss his temple.

God damn it, Doyoung thinks. I’m really fucked.

//

“Come with me.”

Doyoung looks up from his spot on the couch to stare at Jaehyun who’d been talking and pacing in front of him for the past ten minutes. Jaehyun is about to graduate high school with honors and Doyoung is insanely proud. He’d enrolled at a local university, exchanged emails with his future roommate, and somehow managed to get Doyoung to help him pick out new things for his dorm room. Everything was settled until, without Doyoung’s knowledge, Jaehyun had been offered and accepted the chance to study abroad. Jaehyun would be gone for two years. Two years without Jaehyun.

“Doyoung… Hyung… Hey, I asked you a question,” Jaehyun says, shaking Doyoung out of his stupor.

“Huh?”

“I asked what you thought.”

“Oh, now you want my input?” Doyoung instantly feels guilty when Jaehyun’s face falls, but he can’t help it. He’s upset. “Sorry, it’s just this is all so sudden.”

“I thought you would be happy for me.” Jaehyun had taken up the pacing again, wearing a tiny path in the carpet. “You know I’ve always wanted to go to Korea and see where I’m from, where we’re from.”

Doyoung runs a hand over his face, his own worst nervous tic. “I am, but you gotta give me a second to process. I know it’s an amazing opportunity. I’ll miss you. That’s all.”

“You don’t have to miss me.”

“Jaehyun…”

“Come with me.”

I could say yes, Doyoung thinks. What he says instead is, “You know I can’t.”

“No, I don’t actually know that,” Jaehyun replies. He stops pacing and crosses his arms over his chest, ready to stand his ground. “You want to do music for the rest of your life, right? You can do that anywhere in the world.”

“You know I can’t afford it.”

“And you know money isn’t an issue for me.”

Doyoung bristles at that. They never talked about money. It didn’t matter that Jaehyun’s inheritance would probably be more than Doyoung could make in five lifetimes or that Doyoung could only ever feed Jaehyun microwavable, dollar menu junk. At the end of the day they got along, cared for each other and that’s what had made their friendship work for the past four years.

“I’m not your pet, Jaehyun. You can’t just bring me with you wherever you go because you can afford it.”

“Stop it.” Jaehyun says, his tone hard. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Why do you want me to go with you anyway?”

“Because you’re my friend. My best friend.”

Doyoung laughs at that, but there’s no joy in it. “And you think that’s normal, Jaehyun? To whisk your friend off to another country because you don’t want to be without them?”

“Maybe I don’t give a fuck about what’s normal.”

Jaehyun rarely swore so Doyoung knows he’s pissed. Too bad. He’s just as upset. “Oh, really?” It’d been a year since Jaehyun had confessed his feelings and Doyoung had expected him to either take it back or pursue a relationship. Neither had happened. He knows, at the very least, that Jaehyun isn’t straight. Doyoung could tell the attraction was mutual. Sometimes he could feel Jaehyun staring at him. He also knows his own feelings, but doesn’t act on them, never wanting to pressure Jaehyun into something he wasn’t ready for. But this was different. Even in his angered state he was seriously considering Jaehyun’s offer, was willing to uproot his entire life to follow this boy to other side of the world. In order to do it, in order to say yes, Doyoung needs to be sure. He needs to hear it. “Say it then.”

“Say what?”

“Say you’re gay, or bisexual, or whatever it is. Say you like men.”

“But I don’t.” I only like you.

“You know what, Jaehyun?” Doyoung says, rising from the couch. “I think you better go.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want you to come with me!” Jaehyun practically yells, the sound of his voice vibrating off the walls of Doyoung’s tiny apartment.

“Then tell your parents that I’m going with you.” Doyoung sees the crack in Jaehyun’s resolve and shakes his head. Jaehyun’s parents hated him. They thought he was lazy, a bad influence, and using Jaehyun for his money on top of all that. He made no efforts to hide his sexuality and they despised him for that as well.

“You know I can’t.”

“So to summarize,” Doyoung says, balling his hands into fists to hide how badly they’re shaking. “Not only am I supposed to believe you’re straight, I’m also supposed to just drop everything and move to another country with you to be your secret best friend. Is that about right?”

“You make it sound so-”

“What, Jaehyun? I make it sound so crazy? Well, that’s what it is. Crazy.”

“Stop cutting me off!” Jaehyun yells. He’s about to cry. “Let me talk.”

“So talk.”

“Can’t you just… Just think about it. Please?”

“There’s nothing to think about. The answer is no.” Doyoung feels physical pain at having to say that out loud to Jaehyun. His chest tightens as Jaehyun starts to cry in earnest. They’d never fought before, not like this.

“But why?”

“Because I’m not some thing that can be bought.”

Jaehyun is making no attempts to wipe his tears. “You know it’s never been that way! You never let me pay for- ”

“And why do you think that is? Because that’s how it starts. I let you pay for a few meals and before I know it I’m waiting around in some apartment in Korea for you to get back from classes like some kind of fucking idiot who’s in love with his straight best friend.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Jaehyun says, his voice soft.

“Don’t joke? This entire situation is a fucking joke.”

“I didn’t think it was gonna go like this,” Jaehyun says, mostly to himself.

“Welcome to the real world, Jaehyun, where not everything goes your way because your dad wipes his ass with hundred dollar bills.”

“Now you’re just being mean,” Jaehyun replies and Doyoung’s ears burn in both embarrassment and anger. “I think I better go.”

“Yeah.” Doyoung doesn’t turn around when he hears the door click shut.

It’s one week before Jaehyun returns to the apartment. He pretends like nothing happened, but Doyoung can feel the difference. There’s a wall that wasn’t there before. A few months later Jaehyun graduates from high school and a few months after that he gets on an airplane. Doyoung doesn’t accompany him to the airport.

//

Almost two years to the day Jaehyun left, he’s supposed to come back. It was easier to mend their friendship while he was away and Doyoung thinks that maybe the separation was for the best. It gave him room to think, to see other people, to work on his music. He finally finds a regular job in a cover band. On the day Doyoung auditions for the band, he meets Johnny. While Doyoung is auditioning to be lead vocal, Johnny is there to play keyboard. They become fast friends and Doyoung can feel the possibility of something more, but he’s in no rush to start a relationship. Johnny makes it hard, though, especially when he shoots Doyoung a good morning text for no reason or hugs him for a moment too long.

But Johnny is far from Doyoung’s mind when Jaehyun finally appears at his doorstep. He’d been back for several days, but had to deal with his parents before spending time with Doyoung. They embrace for a full minute when they see each other.

“You haven’t changed at all,” Jaehyun says when they pull away.
“I can’t say the same for you,” Doyoung replies. Jaehyun had grown taller and at 20 years old was finally the same height as Doyoung. His face had lost the roundness of childhood, he’d let his hair grow long, and had pierced his ears. “You’re all grown up now.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “Whatever, hyung. Feed me.”

Even though Doyoung can afford better food they stick to tradition and eat ramen. Jaehyun falls asleep on the couch and after six years of friendship finally spends the night at Doyoung’s apartment.

The next morning Jaehyun takes it to the next level by informing Doyoung that he’s going to spend the remainder of his summer vacation in Doyoung’s apartment.

“Where are you gonna sleep?” Doyoung asks.

“On the bed, stupid.” Doyoung doesn’t comment. Jaehyun knows there’s only one bed. The implications are clear and Doyoung is left wondering at what point in time Jaehyun became so coy.

Jaehyun attends several band practices and gigs. He becomes a roadie of sorts and the band loves him because he does it all for free.

“Of course he does it for free,” Doyoung grumbles. “He literally does not need the money.”

“Sounds like someone is jealous of our new honorary member.” Johnny comments.

“I’m not jealous,” Doyoung pouts. “And he’s most definitely not part of the band, honorary or otherwise.”

“Whatever you say, grumpy.” Johnny laughs when Doyoung shoves him in the chest and Jaehyun watches the entire exchange curiously.

 They go to after parties and get drunk and Doyoung pretends his heart doesn’t race when Jaehyun holds his hand or rests his head on his shoulder. After all, it’s just the alcohol. For the first week Doyoung insists on sleeping on the couch. He comes home one night, too tired to remember and crashes as soon as his head hits the pillow. The way Jaehyun looks in his bed, in the early morning light is enough reason for him to stop sleeping on the couch. “You’re here,” Jaeyhun mumbles and Doyoung startles because he’s been caught staring. He scoots over until he’s close enough to rest his head on Doyoung’s chest and promptly falls back asleep. Doyoung feels warm all over. Jaehyun teaches him how to cook Korean dishes and they eat tteokbokki and gimbap at three in the morning instead of ordering a pizza. They fall into a pattern of cozy domesticity that almost makes Jaehyun forget it won’t last forever.

One week before the summer ends Jaehyun tells Doyoung that he’s going back to Korea. He’s decided to finish his studies there.

“Or you could stay here,” Doyoung suggests.

“Or you could come with me,” Jaehyun replies.

Unlike last time there are no tears or raised voices. Instead Jaehyun lightly brushes his lips against Doyoung’s while they’re sitting on the couch after dinner.

“Was that okay?”

Doyoung can’t seem to find his voice and so he nods, his heart soaring when Jaehyun smiles back at him. 

They kiss slowly and Doyoung thinks it shouldn’t be possible to feel dizzy just from a kiss alone, but Jaehyun’s lips are addicting and he wants more. Jaeyhun’s hands tentatively explore Doyoung’s body. He caresses Doyoung’s face and runs his hands down his chest. Doyoung remains still, afraid to break the moment even if Jaehyun had been the one to start it. His breath hitches in his throat when one of Jaehyun’s hands starts to rub him through his jeans.

“Okay?” Jaehyun asks again.

Doyoung nods before pulling Jaehyun down for another kiss. Jaehyun opens his mouth for him and when their tongues meet Doyoung involuntarily bucks his hips into the heel of Jaehyun’s hand. Everything is unraveling too fast and as Jaehyun works the zipper of his jeans Doyoung manages to come to his senses.

“Jaehyun,” he pants, trying to slow his breathing. “Are you sure you know that you’re-”

“Do I know what I’m doing?”

“Yeah…”

“Of course,” Jaehyun replies. He’s kissing a trail from Doyoung’s collar bone, up his neck, behind his ear. “Do you think I’d be touching you if I didn’t know what I was doing?” Doyoung groans as Jaehyun frees his cock from the confines of his pants and starts stroking him.

“I don’t even wanna know where you learned any of this,” Doyoung says, eyes scrunched closed in pleasure.

Jaehyun leans in closer to nibble on Doyoung’s earlobe before whispering, “Porn.”

A string of expletives leaves Doyoung’s mouth and he turns his head to capture Jaehyun’s lips in a much more heated kiss. Doyoung’s body melts into the couch while Jaehyun works his fist up and down Doyoung’s length. Jaehyun marvels at the way Doyoung’s body responds to his touch, how Doyoung whimpers when he kisses his Adams apple, the feeling of Doyoung’s thighs stiffening when he twists his wrist just right. Doyoung is beautiful and Jaehyun wants more, so much more. He wants to be the one to push Doyoung over the edge from pleasure to bliss.

“Will you come for me?” Jaehyun asks, kissing Doyoung’s hairline.

Doyoung opens his eyes. “Are we done if I do?”

“Of course not.” Jaehyun’s hand speeds up and Doyoung has to close his eyes again. “I want to have you. If you’ll let me.”

“Yes yes yes,” Doyoung affirms and Jaehyun’s heart starts to thump in his chest. He watches as Doyoung spills into his hand. Beautiful. Jaehyun kisses Doyoung’s face softly, almost reverently, waiting for him to come down from his high.

They move to the bedroom and take their time undressing each other. Jaehyun’s body is lean and muscular and Doyoung feels self conscious, but Jaehyun won’t have it. He kisses Doyoung, everywhere, can’t stop kissing him and it isn’t long before Doyoung is hard again.

“How do you want me?” he whispers against the skin of Jaehyun’s neck.

“On your back,” Jaehyun replies. Suddenly he can’t look Doyoung in the eye. “But you have to help me. I… I don’t want to hurt you.”

Doyoung understands. All the porn in the world was no substitute for experience. He would be Jaehyun’s first and he was both thrilled and terrified at the thought. He wants his to be good for Jaehyun. He wants to be good for Jaehyun.  

“You okay?” Jaehyun asks, breaking Doyoung’s train of thought. The concern in his eyes is enough to cause a pang in Doyoung’s chest.

“Yeah,” Doyoung replies. He runs a hand through Jaehyun’s hair before cupping his face, running his thumb over Jaehyun’s cheekbone. “I kind of can’t believe this is really happening.”

“It’s happening,” Jaehyun replies and they’re kissing again.  When they come up for air Doyoung rolls over to reach his bedside table, fumbling with the drawer to find a bottle of lube.

“I’m gonna get myself ready for you,” he says as he coats his fingers with it.

Doyoung positions himself on his back, his legs spread and knees bent and Jaehyun is finding it hard to breathe. When Doyoung pushes one finger inside himself Jaehyun thinks he might stop breathing forever. He’s so incredibly turned on just from watching Doyoung finger himself. Doyoung’s eyebrows furrow in concentration when he adds a second finger, a small sound of satisfaction escaping his lips. He calls Jaehyun’s name and the other man turns to him, pupils blown wide in arousal.

“Touch yourself,” Doyoung commands and Jaehyun is too eager to follow his lead.

They stay like for awhile.  Jaehyun watches Doyoung finger himself open. Every once in awhile Doyoung will change the angle of his wrist to hit his prostate, his entire body going rigid at the sensation and Jaehyun has to grip the base of his cock to keep from coming. Doyoung watches Jaehyun pump his cock, with his half lidded eyes and slack jaw, the muscles in his arm flexing over and over. The only sounds in the room are their harsh breathing and soft moans.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun pants. “Doyoung please.”

“Put on a condom, baby,” he replies and Jaehyun obeys, his hands trembling slightly.

Doyoung withdraws his finger and Jaehyun kneels between his spread legs. A full body shudder runs through Jaehyun as he pushes the head of his cock inside Doyoung’s body, the feeling of it much more intense and pleasurable than anything he could’ve imagined. He stills, but Doyoung is impatient, begging him for more so he pushes forward. When their hips are finally pressed together Jaehyun leans forward and touches his forehead to Doyoung’s, trembling. He rolls his hips experimentally and the sound that Doyoung makes in response encourages him to move.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Doyoung praises, running his hands over the muscles in Jaehyun’s back. He wraps his legs around Jaehyung’s waist. “Harder, Jaehyun. Please.”

Jaehyun thrusts his hips faster, his rhythm faltering as he feels the familiar coil of pleasure in his gut. He lowers himself onto his elbows so he can kiss Doyoung. There’s no finesse to it, but he wants to be kissing when he comes.

“I’m so close,” Doyoung pants. “Baby, please. Make me come.”

Jaehyun angles his hips just right and he’s hitting Doyoung’s prostate on every thrust. Doyoung comes on a shout, but Jaehyun is there to swallow the sound. He licks into Doyoung’s mouth and finds his release right after.

They nap for a few hours before they need each other again. Jaehyun lies on his side, his back pressed into Doyoung’s chest as Doyoung rocks into him. He’s lost in the pleasure, in the stretch, the feeling of Doyoung’s cock dragging in and out of him. Doyoung is talking to him, but the words don’t really register. All Jaehyun can focus on is the fact that Doyoung is inside of him, that Doyoung is making love to him. Doyoung’s fingers graze over one of his nipples and Jaehyun stiffens against him before relaxing again. He teases Jaehyun like this, fucks him so slowly that it drives both of them crazy. Jaehyun is whimpering, but still doesn’t ask to come and somehow that turns Doyoung on even more.

“Do you want to touch yourself?” Doyoung asks. His hips speed up and Jaehyun cries out.

“No,” he manages to reply, more breath than voice. “I want you to come first.”

“Look at me,” Doyoung says and Jaehyun turns his head so their eyes meet. “Don’t close your eyes.”

Doyoung’s gaze is full of heat and Jaehyun couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. He grips Jaehyun’s hips tighter and thrusts even faster. Jaehyun watches as Doyoung’s face contorts in pleasure. His forehead creases and his mouth forming a silent “O” as he reaches his orgasm never breaking eye contact. It’s barely a second before they’re making out again. They’ve only been together for one night and he already knows that Jaehyun likes to kiss when he comes. He reaches around to stroke Jaehyun to his release while they’re lips are connected.

Two days before Jaehyun has to leave he insists that he and Doyoung have to have the talk. Doyoung doesn’t think its necessary, can predict the way the entire conversation will go down, but he indulges Jaehyun anyway because it’s Jaehyun. They’re back on the sofa, Jaehyun lies with his head in Doyoung’s lap. He sighs because he doesn’t know where to start.

“Spit it out,” Doyoung says. “I can practically hear you thinking.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes so Doyoung flicks his forehead.

“Ouch!”

“There, there,” Doyoung placates, leaning over to press a kiss to Jaehyun’s forehead. “The mood is getting too serious. Anyway, I know what you’re gonna say.”

Jaehyun frowns. “No you don’t.”

“But I do.” Doyoung sighs. It’s going to hurt saying it out loud, but he figures it’ll hurt more to hear it come from Jaehyun’s mouth so he better beat him to the punch. “This… thing that’s happened between us... It can’t continue.” Jaehyun’s eyes widen in shock and Doyoung lets out a small chuckle, a hollow sound that makes Jaehyun frown. “Your parent would never accept it. At best they would disown you and at worst they’d make me disappear off the face of this planet. They’re not the best people, but you respect them and you really do want to take over the business even if you never talk about it. That’s why you’re studying so hard. I deserve better that to be your secret lover, to be denied in public and hidden away in some big fancy house. One day you’ll meet a woman who your parents approve of and who hopefully understands your heart well. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be over you one day.”

Doyoung isn’t sure when he started crying, but he can’t stop the sob that leaves his chest when Jaehyun sits up to wrap his arms around him.

“I’m so sorry. I never should’ve acted on my feelings. It was selfish and stupid and-”

“No,” Doyoung cuts him off. “Don’t fucking say that. I don’t regret any of it.”

“But I hurt you,” Jaehyun whispers. He brushes away Doyoung’s tears with his thumb.

“I know you’re hurting too.” Doyoung presses their foreheads together and both men close their eyes before he continues talking. “But at least we’ll always have this. Our one perfect summer together.” Jaehyun is crying now too, but Doyoung shushes him and rubs his hands soothingly up and down his back. “We still have two days.” He takes Jaehyun’s face in both his hands and kisses him softly. “Let’s not spend it crying.” Jaehyun nods by way of response and Doyoung hugs him again. “You’re kind of cute then you cry, you know.”

“I know.”

“Brat.”

//

Jaehyun is getting married today and Doyoung is going to be late.

“Where the fuck is my tie?” Doyoung grumbles.

“It’s hanging on the back of the bathroom door.”

Doyoung looks up to see Johnny leaning in the doorway of their bedroom. Due to the success of the band he’d been able to move out of his tiny apartment and into the home he now shared with Johnny. They’d been together for a few years now and sometimes it still surprises Doyoung that Johnny had so easily accepted him despite all his baggage. After Jaehyun left for Korea Doyoung was a mess and Johnny had been there. He was there to cover for Doyoung when he was having a terrible band practice, to hold him when he cried, to let him drink way too much and make sure he got home okay. Somehow, little by little, he’d been able to open up to Johnny and let him into his life.

“How’d you know it was there?” He asks. Doyoung is struggling to tie it properly and Johnny has to intervene.

“Because I saw you put it there yesterday.”

“I don’t understand how you can keep track of shit like that.”

“You swear too much,” Johnny replies. “There. Now you’re ready to go, handsome.”

“Your hair is too long, but you’re not so bad yourself.”

Doyoung watches as Johnny runs a hand through his too long hair and smiles, the corner of his eyes crinkling just so, and he thanks his lucky stars that the universe had given him someone else to love.

“I’m really proud of you,” Johnny says when they’re finally on their way to the church.

“For?”

“For being able to attend today. I know that it can’t be easy.”

Doyoung sighs at that. It’d still been hard for him to hear about Jaehyun’s engagement, but not in all the ways that Johnny might think.  He’d accepted that he’d always be a little in love with Jaehyun, but what hurt Doyoung the most was that Jaehyun might not ever by truly happy with the life he had chosen to live.

“It’s easy because you’re here with me,” Doyoung says and kisses Johnny at the next red light.

“This is your last chance,” Doyoung whispers as they make they’re positioning themselves near the altar. He doesn’t know how Jaehyun managed it, but he was the best man.

“You offering to run away with me?” Jaehyun asks. He’s 26 now, but Doyoung still has a clear memory of the way he looked at 16.

“You wish.”

They share a smile and the ceremony starts.

It’s time for Doyoung to give a speech as the best man and his knees are trembling under the table. Nothing made him happier than singing for an audience, but public speaking was another thing entirely. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves.

“Not many of you know this,” Doyoung begins “but Jaehyun and I have known each other for 12 years now. We met as teenagers and somehow I’ve been able to stand him ever since.” That draws a laugh from the crowd and Doyoung relaxes ever so slightly. “I’ve watched Jaehyun grow from the boy who used to beg me to cook him ramen to the man you see today and I gotta say, Jaeyhun, you turned out better than I expected.” The crowd really laughs at that so Doyoung cracks a smile and faces the bride. “Ava, clearly you’re too good for him, but you’re stuck with him now so here are a few pointers. Jaehyun drinks black coffee when he’s tired and lattes when he’s in a good mood. He hates mayonnaise. Don’t put it in his sandwich or else you’ll never hear the end of it. He snores when he’s really tired, but will deny it if you mention it to him. If he’s ever being difficult send him to me and I’ll set him straight.” Ava claps her hands at that and everyone laughs agaon. Finally Doyoung turns to Jaehyun. “You’re my best friend, my family, and I’m so happy to be a part of one of the biggest days in your life. Thanks for sticking by me all these years.  I, hyung, will always be here. If you ever need me to cook you a bowl of ramen I’m just one phone call away. I love you, Jaehyun. Congratulations.”

//

Doyoung is spending Christmas with Jaehyun and his family. He and Ava have a daughter, Sora, who is 5 years old now. She was born on Christmas Eve so they celebrate her birthday and Christmas on the same day. It’s 8 pm and Sora has to take a nap so that they can open presents at midnight as per tradition.

“But I’m not sleepy,” Sora whines and Jaehyun sighs.

“Honey, you know Santa won’t come if you’re still awake.”

“Is that true?” The question is directed at Doyoung and Jaehyun rolls his eyes. Sora is very attached to Doyoung, so much so that Doyoung suspects that it makes Jaehyun jealous. Today she’s wearing a red dress and a headband that doesn’t match. Ava had tried to get her to change it, but she wouldn’t have it. This headband was from Uncle Doyoung and thus, her favorite.

“Of course it is munchkin.”

“Okay,” Sora concedes and Jaehyun scoffs. “But I want Uncle Doyoung to tuck me in.”

“Sora…” Jaehyun starts but is promptly cut off by his daughter’s “Come on, dad!”

“Yeah, come on dad,” Doyoung replies and Jaehyun sags in defeat.

“Outnumbered in my own house.”

“Always,” Doyoung says, scooping a giggling Sora into his arms. “Munchkin and I are a team now. You won’t ever defeat us.”

Doyoung and Sora make their way upstairs to the young girl’s room. It’s currently painted a pale yellow with an animal theme. Sora wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up.

“Do you want me to read you a story?” Doyoung asks when Sora is settled under the covers. Her eyebrows furrow and Doyoung notices how much she looks like Jaehyun when she does that. They were both so easy to read.

“No, that’s okay. I don’t have any new books anyway. Mommy couldn’t take me to the library. She’s sick.”

Doyoung had almost declined Jaehyun’s invitation because he knew Ava had been feeling under the weather, but Jaehyun had insisted and put Sora on the phone so there was no way he could say no.

“I’m sorry about that, munchkin. I’m sure she’ll be better soon.”

Sora shrugs, but the look on her face is starting to make Doyoung think that Ava might have more than the flu. “Mommy is sick all the time now. Daddy takes her to the hospital and they don’t tell me anything.”

“But you get to hang out with your nanny and you like her, right? She’s nice to you?”

“Yes!” Sora’s face lights up at the mention of her nanny who had been with her since she was born and Doyoung is glad that he managed to distract her. “She’s the nicest.”

“I’m glad to hear that. No one is allowed to be mean to my munchkin.” Doyoung tickles Sora and she laughs. “Time to nap or both of us will be in trouble with you know who.”

“Daddy?” Sora asks.

“Daddy,” Doyoung affirms and stifles a laugh when Sora rolls her eyes.

“I won’t let you get in trouble, Uncle Doyoung. I’ll go to sleep right away.”

“That’s my girl.” Doyoung gives her one last kiss on the forehead before turning off the light and leaving the room.

He finds Jaehyun sitting at the kitchen counter nursing a half empty bottle of wine.

“Slow down there. We’re not in our 20’s anymore.”

“We really aren’t.” Jaehyun pours Doyoung a glass as he takes the seat opposite of that. “And I’m a dad on top of that. Can you believe it?”

“Of course I can. Kids love you.”

“Every kid except for my own. She’s not even a teenager yet and she’s already fed up with me.”

“No kid ever thinks their parents are cool. You certainly didn’t.”

“But Sora thinks you’re the coolest.”

“That’s because I am, in fact, the coolest. You thought so too back then.”

“Yeah yeah,” Jaehyun replies. He’s already done with his glass of wine so he pours himself another.

“Is Ava resting?” Jaehyun just hums and so Doyoung presses. “It’s more serious than the flu, isn’t it?”

“How did you know?” When Jaehyun looks up at him Doyoung takes the time to really take in his appearance, the dark circles under his eyes, stubble on his chin, and hollowed cheeks. He wonders how he hadn’t noticed it earlier.

“Sora told me you guys have been in and out of the hospital lately. You’ve gotta tell her something. Your kid is too smart for her own good. She knows something isn’t right.”

Instead of answering Jaehyun pours himself another glad of wine and downs it in one gulp. Doyoung is taken aback, but he doesn’t say anything, just waits in silence for Jaehyun to open up.

“It’s pancreatic cancer. Stage 4. The prognosis isn’t good.”

“Fucking shit, man.”

Jaehyun laughs and Doyoung just gapes at him. “That’s why I’ve always liked you, hyung.” Ever since he’d studied in Korea Jaehyun hadn’t stopped calling Doyoung hyung even if the older of the two insisted it wasn’t necessary. “You don’t sugar coat things and you swear way too much.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Doyoung mumbles. “What have you guys decided? What are you gonna tell Sora?”

“We’re exploring treatment options, getting second, third, fourth, and fifth opinions. There’s surgery, chemotherapy, holistic options. It’s a lot to take in.” Doyoung reaches across the counter and Jaehyun’s jumps when their hands touch, but quickly laces their fingers together, using Doyoung as an emotional anchor even if it’s just for a short time. “I don’t have a clue what we’re gonna do about Sora. How do you tell your kid that her mother could be dead in a few months? It’s too cruel…”

Doyoung squeezes his hand even tighter. “Whatever you guys need, I’m here for you.”

Jaehyun squeezes back. “I guess I’m gonna have to do a lot of apologizing to Johnny for taking up so much of your time.

“Well,” Doyoung starts, “His opinion doesn’t really matter anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He moved out last week.” It wasn’t an explosive break up and Doyoung suspects that it all boiled down to a lack of spark, too little passion. After so many years together it shouldn’t have been so easy to let Johnny go and somehow it was.

“That’s… Wow. I really thought you two were gonna get married one day.”

Doyoung shrugs. They’d both considered it, but there was always something else to prioritize. “During the last year the only thing holding us together was the band. Scratch that, the band and the sex.”

“Man, life is really fucked up right now isn’t it?”

“It is,” Doyoung agrees. “It really is.”

Neither of them realizes that they’re still holding hands.

They open their Christmas gifts at midnight. Ava feels well enough to join them downstairs, sitting on the couch with a blanket over her lap and Jaehyun sitting at her feet while Doyoung helps Sora tear open her presents. Sora squeals with delight when she sees the new dollhouse from her parents and asks Jaehyun to help her assemble it. He looks dumbfounded for a second, not quite believing he’d been chosen for such an important task, and both Doyoung and Ava laugh. While father and daughter are busy Ava beckons for Doyoung to join her on the couch. He goes to the kitchen to get hot chocolate for everyone.

He’s handing Ava a mug when she asks, “So how are you?”

“I’m good,” Doyoung says taking a sip. “Nothing exciting to report.”

“Only you would classify a breakup as something not exciting.”

“Wait… What? I only just told Jaehyun. How did you know?”

“I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but you have a sex induced limp. You haven’t had it in a month so I just figured.” Doyoung nearly chokes on his holiday beverage and Ava laughs.

They watch as Jaehyun successfully puts up the walls of his daughter’s dollhouse. Sora claps her hands before wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. It brings a smile to Doyoung’s face.

“Thanks for being here,” she says. “Even though I haven’t been the best hostess.”

“No need to thank me. I wouldn’t miss that girl’s birthday for anything.”

“She adores you, you know.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Doyoung smiles softly. He never thought he’d like kids, but as soon as Sora was born he was absolutely smitten. He loved holding her when she was a baby, taking her to the park, teaching her how to sing. Sometimes he thought that he was overstepping his boundaries, but the way Jaehyun and Ava treated him was enough to ease his doubt. He was grateful because he really did love that little girl.

“I’m glad,” Ava replies. “That way I won’t have to worry.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’ll take care of them. I know you’ll take care of him.” There’s an understanding in her eyes and Doyoung suspects she knows more about his relationship with Jaehyun than he originally thought.

“How’d you know I knew you were sick?” Doyoung asks.

“A woman’s intuition,” Ava says with a wink and Doyoung noticies, not for the first time, why it was so easy for Jaehyun to choose her to spend the rest of his life with. “Plus Jaehyun tells you everything. Everyone knows that.”

Instead of answering Doyoung reaches out to take her hand in his. They smile at each other and watch their two favorite people. Ava leans her head on Doyoung’s shoulder and it isn’t long until she falls asleep.

It’s the last Christmas they all spend together.  

//

Doyoung Hyung: [I swear to God, Jung Jaehyun if you’re late... I don’t care if you bring your entire security team I will lay your ass out in front of Sora’s entire graduating class.]

Jaehyun laughs before pocketing his phone and stepping out of the car. Sora was going to be pissed at him. He’d come straight from the office and had in fact brought a large security team with him. He makes his way to the school’s auditorium, drawing stares from people along the way, but he was used to this sort of attention by now. In the years since he’d taken over Jaehyun had been able to grow and expand the company in ways his father never could. With success came more wealth and with wealth, unfortunately, came fame. It’d been 13 years since Ava’s passing and at 44 years old he was one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. One of those trashy tabloid magazines had even written an article about it which amused both Doyoung and Sora to no end.

“Who would wanna date my dad? He’s so boring,” Sora had said with tears in her eyes from laughing.

“You know,” Doyoung had replied despite Jaehyun willing him to shut up with just a look. “Your dad did ask me to prom once.”

“What?! No he didn’t.”

“He totally did.”

“So what did you say?”

“Of course I said no.”

Jaehyun had slammed the door shut on their obnoxious laughter.

When he finally makes it to his seat in the auditorium Doyoung is scowling at him.

“You brought that much muscle with you? Sora is gonna be pissed,” he says, eyeing the way Jaehyun’s security team is scattered not so conspicuously around the space.

“She’ll survive. She’s lucky that I didn’t have someone go undercover as a fellow graduate to shadow her.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “You know whose kids go here? The president’s kid goes here.  This place is a fortress. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did a background check on me after Sora put me down as your plus one.”

“You’re my plus one?” Jaehyun asks, eyebrow quirked. “If I had known I was taking you out on a date I would’ve dressed up for it.” Doyoung can only roll his eyes for a second time because his companion is wearing a three piece suit and diamond cufflinks that probably cost more than his car. In the past few years Jaehyun’s flirtation had grown bolder but, just like when they were kids, Doyoung didn’t push. All those feelings were from a long, long time ago.

“Shut up, asshole. It’s starting.”

“You were always so sweet to me.”

Much to Sora’s dismay Jaehyun has decided to throw her a huge graduation party as a surprise. Doyoung knew she would hate it and told Jaehyun as much, but of course he didn’t listen.

“I can’t believe you invited my entire class and their families,” Sora whines.

“Of course I did. That’s why I rented out the entire hotel.” Sora rolls her eyes and it’s reminiscent of the look Doyoung had given him just hours before. They were so alike sometimes.

“You can’t say you rented out this hotel when we literally own it.”

“I own it. You’ll inherit it one day if you’re lucky.”

“I’m your only child, Dad.”

“Hey, there’s still time,” Doyoung butts in. “Or maybe he’ll give the hotel to me. I’m gonna outlive him for sure.”

“Just marry Dad and then you guys can co-own it and give it to me.” Both men are staring at her with their mouths wide open in shock. “You two are so dumb. Like the worst ansgty terrible fanfiction dumb. It really pains me to watch you. I don’t even like slow burn.” And with that declaration, Sora leaves the room to join the party she didn’t even want in the first place.

“What the fuck did she just say?” Doyoung asks.

“That we should get married.” Doyoung doesn’t notice that Jaehyun has started to nibble on his bottom lip.

“No after that.”

“I have no clue.”

It’s later in the evening when Sora finally gets revenge on her meddling dad. Jaehyun and Doyoung are talking to a group of parents when Sora runs by and pushes her dad into the pool fully clothed. He recovers quickly, smiling and waving to the crowd who’s started to clap. Doyoung makes the mistake of trying to help his friend out of the pool when he suddenly finds himself in the water right next to Jaehyun.

“Fucking asshole!” Doyoung exclaims.

“Language, hyung. Think of the children,” Jaehyun replies.

“I can’t believe you’re almost on the other side of forty and still an absolute brat.”

Instead of replying Jaehyun winks at him so Doyoung splashes him and before they know it other people have jumped into the pool and there’s a full fledged water fight happening. When they finally make it out of the pool Doyoung is exhausted.

“I’m getting too old for shit like that,” he says, tilting his head to the side to try to get the water out of his ear.

Jaehyun laughs at him. “And you call me boring.”

Doyoung doesn’t hear him though. He’s too busy admiring the way Jaehyun’s white dress shirt clings to his torso, exposing just how muscular his body was under those three piece suits he always wore. Pull yourself together, Doyoung thinks to himself. You’re in public for Christ’s sake. He isn’t sure if it’s a blessing or not, but soon enough Doyoung finds himself behind closed doors with Jaehyun. He’d lost his hotel keycard at the bottom of the pool so he had no choice but to join Jaehyun in the presidential suite.

“All my clothes are in my room,” Doyoung whines. “What am I supposed to wear?”

“This,” Jaehyun replies while throwing one of the fluffy hotel robes at him. He could easily ask one of the staff to unlock the door of Doyoung’s room and give him another key, but he doesn’t. In fact he’s glad that Doyoung hasn’t realized it. That’s how he was when he was upset, though. It made him overlook things that he otherwise never would’ve missed.

“You expect me to spend the rest of Sora’s graduation party wearing a bathrobe?”

“I dunno about you,” Jaehyun says stripping of his wet shirt and throwing it in the corner of the huge en suite, “but I’m not going back down there just to repeatedly face Sora’s wrath.” He runs his fingers through his wet hair and Doyoung just stares and stares and stares. “You okay?”

“Uhm,” Doyoung swallows hard. “You shower first. I can wait.”

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything to him. Just arches his eyebrows and walks into the bathroom.

“What the actual fuck” Doyoung whispers to himself while stripping off his wet clothes. He puts on the bathrobe and lays down on the king sized bed. He waits until he can hear the sound of the shower running before he lets out the frustrated groan he’d been holding in. It’s not like these feelings were new, Doyoung had been managing his attraction to his best friend for most of his adult life, but usually it was just easier. There were moments when he thought the feeling was mutual since once upon a time it was. Sometimes Jaehyun would stand a little to close or his eyes would wander to Doyoung’s lips while he was talking, all circumstantial evidence at best, so he’d never commented on it much less acted on it. He wasn’t about to fuck up his relationship with Jaehyun or Sora for something as silly as physical attraction. That’s the thing though, it wasn’t just physical attraction. Doyoung loved Jaehyun, had loved him since they were kids and he was living in a shitty apartment and could barely afford to feed himself.  He’d stayed on the sidelines and watched Jaehyun leave for Korea without him, watched Jaehyun get married, watched Jaehyun have a family, and was still here, watching. Maybe all the watching and waiting was catching up to him. Doyoung doesn’t hear the shower shut off, or the door to the bathroom opening, and is taken by surprise when Jaehyun walks out of it wearing nothing but a towel. Apparently the universe was out to get him.

“Put some fucking clothes on,” Doyoung grumbles before rolling over in the bed, putting his back to Jaehyun. His body was being a traitor and thank god the robe was hiding his erection.

“Later,” Jaehyun replies. “You can go shower now.”

“In a minute.”

“Why?” Jaehyun asks even though he knows exactly why. Doyoung hadn’t turned over as fast as he thought he did.

“What’s with the twenty questions?” Doyoung snaps.

“Come on, hyung. We’re not kids. I know you’re hard. I saw it.”

Doyoung feels his entire body flush in embarrassment, but there’s no point in trying to deny it now. If he tried to Jaehyun would never let him hear the end of it. He rises from the bed quickly. “Yeah, well, it’s been awhile so… I’ll just go shower now. Excuse me.” He intends to brush past Jaehyun, but is stopped in his tracks by a hand to his waist.

“Stay.”

“Jaehyun…” Doyoung starts, but is silenced by the feather light touch of Jaehyun’s lips against his own. He doesn’t pull away so Jaehyun does it again, presses their lips together until Doyoung presses back.

“Stay,” Jaehyun whispers against Doyoung’s skin. He leaves open mouth kisses along his neck. “Please please stay.”

“Yes,” Doyoung whispers back, all shyness gone as he fumbles with the towel around Jaehyun’s waist. It falls to the floor and Jaehyun moans into his mouth while Doyoung pumps his cock to full hardness.

“Bed,” Jaehyun manages to croak out when he can’t take anymore.

Doyoung pulls away and undoes the knot of the robe, all the self consciousness of his youth gone now, and Jaehyun watches as it falls to the floor. He follows Doyoung to the bed and is hovering over him in an instant.

“Beautiful,” Jaehyun praises as he places kisses his way down Doyoung’s torso. “The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”

Doyoung doesn’t have the time to feel embarrassed by the compliment because Jaehyun takes the head of his cock into his mouth. He fists the sheets as Jaehyun sucks him off, the feeling better than anything he’s fantasized about.

“Enough,” he groans when he feels his cock hit the back of Jaehyun’s throat. Jaehyun pulls off with an obscene popping noise and Doyoung laughs. “Learn that from porn?”

“Mhm,” Jaehyun affirms while rummaging around in his suitcase next to the bed. “This too.”

Doyoung hisses when Jaehyun’s finger presses inside of him. “Relax,” Jaeyhun whispers, leaning down to press a kiss to the crease between Doyoung’s eyebrows. Soon one finger turns into two, then three, and finally Doyoung is ready to have Jaehyun inside of him.

“Lay on your back,” Doyoung directs and Jaehyun follows. Doyoung straddles his hips, letting Jaehyun’s cock rub in between his cheeks, teasing. Jaehyun is panting beneath him when Doyoung rises up on his knees and positions himself above Jaehyun. A loud moan leaves Doyoung’s lips as he sinks down on Jaehyun’s cock, the stretch even better than he remembered.

“Yes yes yes,” Jaehyun whipers, running his hands up and down Doyoung’s things soothingly. “You feel so good.”

Doyoung rolls his hip and both men groan. He does it again and again, undulating against Jaehyun so slowly, the only sound in the room is their labored breathing. The visual of Doyoung riding him, head thrown back in pleasure, cock flat against his stomach dripping precome is more than Jaehyun can take.

“Please,” Jaehyun begs. “I’m so close. Please, I need… Hyung please.”

“Give it to me,” Doyoung says, placing his hands on either side of Jaehyun’s head.

The first thrust hits his prostate dead on and Doyoung cries out. Jaehyun holds his hips and fucks into him, desperation taking over. It doesn’t take much for Doyoung to find his orgasm, coming all over Jaehyun’s chest. He leans down and crashes their lips together, moaning loudly into Jaehyun’s mouth as he spills inside of him.

They sleep for a few hours and when Jaehyun wakes he’s wrapped in Doyoung’s arms. He feels warm all over, happy and complete in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time, maybe ever. He presses a kiss to Doyoung’s collarbone to let him know he’s awake.  

“You’re up,” Doyoung says. He kisses the top of Jaehyun’s head. “Sleep well?”

“Mhm.” He rubs a hand along Doyoung’s back. “Feeling okay?”

“Never better.”

The two men stay like that for awhile, holding each other and breathing in unison. The silence in comfortable and Doyoung is dozing off when Jaehyun breaks it.

“I loved her, you know.”

If Doyoung is shocked by the sudden change in topic he doesn’t comment. “I know you did. She was a wonderful woman.”

“If she was still here I don’t think… I mean, I wouldn’t have been able to-”

“I know,” Doyoung cuts him off. Jaehyun was a man of his word and when he vowed ‘until death do us part,’ he meant it. “You don’t have to explain.”

“But it was always you,” Jaehyun admits, letting his eyes fall shut. “When I was 16 and asked you to prom, when you were with someone else, when I got married… It was only you and it will only ever be you.”

Instead of replying Doyoung holds Jaehyun tighter.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun whispers.

“Shush,” Doyoung replies. He runs his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair over and over again and kisses his temple. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Stay?” Jaehyun asks, his voice trembling slightly.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

//

Six months later they’re celebrating their first Christmas, and Sora’s birthday, as an engaged couple. They wanted to surprise Sora when he came home for winter break, but the tabloids had spotted Jaehyun walking into an engagement ring store and from there all hell had broken loose. As a result the family had decided to spend the holidays at Doyoung’s grandparent’s house. He could never bring himself to sell it and had remodeled and modernized the home slowly over the years. What they hadn’t expected was for Sora to show up with a boyfriend.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Jaehyun says, taking his frustration out on the potatoes he was currently mashing for dinner.

Doyoung’s gaze wanders to the living room, the girl he practically raised himself was sitting crossed legged on the couch, her head leaning on her boyfriend’s shoulder and he just can’t bring himself to be upset about it since they look so cute.

“She’s 19. She was gonna start dating at some point.”

“She could’ve at least waited until I was dead. Out of respect.” Doyoung laughs as Jaehyun continues to angrily mash his potatoes. “How many bedrooms does this place have again?”

“A measly two.”

“Well he better get comfortable on the couch then,” Jaehyun mutters and Doyoung laughs again.

Never in a million years did Doyoung think that he would get his happy ending. As soon as his best friend had left for Korea all those years ago he assumed that he’d have to settle for second best. Jaehyun, his beautiful, sexy, stubborn as hell fiancé had proven him wrong. Their love story was far from perfect, but Doyoung wouldn’t have it any other way.