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Morty swallowed hard, his voice shaking as he gripped the armrest of the chair, the nearby speakerphone ringing. Rick gave his shoulders a reassuring pat as he knelt to his ear, whispering.


“You know what you need to say, so don't fuck this up.”


“Thank you for calling Terminus 9, this is KRESH-KLESHHHBLUB, how can I help you?”


“Um, h-hi, my name is Morty Smith, Badge Number uhh...” Morty's eyes glanced down to the small pad of paper in his lap. “765, 668, 9937. I'm calling because I'm a new employee of the Galactic Federation and I was told to call you guys about my paycheck?”


The alien on the other end of the line's once kind demeanor shifted almost instantly.


“THAT IS NOT OUR JOB!” the creature's voice came out garbled for the last half of the sentence, Morty almost falling over from the feedback. Rick glared down, mouthing the next words.


“W-well that's not my problem, I've been reporting to work all week and-and nobody has paid me yet. I was told to-to call you guys. S-specifically, by...” He referenced the pad again, naming one of the higher-ranking Ricks. “The alien's demeanor shifted almost instantly.


“Y-yes of course!”


“If you don't have the ability to actually pay me...” Morty's voice paused as he read the rest of the script, shooting a confused look to Rick who, rolling his eyes, moved his hand in a gesture to keep going. “Maybe you-you can put me in touch with the actual council themselves. Specifically, this Rick. I-If you have his number handy, I can just call him back...”


“YOU want to call Rick at THIS hour? Wow, you sure you're a Morty? You got major balls!”


Rick almost jumped, doing a “YES!” in his enthusiasm as Morty continued.


“Yeah...I-I wanna leave a message on both his personal phone and his o-office phone, please...He's supposed to be out of the office on vacation and...well...I can't wait, I need to be paid NOW.” Morty slammed his hands down on the desk for dramatic effect, gaining a thumbs up from Rick.


The numbers recorded down, he wished the alien a good day and hung up.


Morty collapsed back onto his chair as he took a deep breath.


“I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SCARED IN MY LIFE, R-RICK!” his hands clasped his face as he scrubbed it quickly, his complexion turning red.


“Hey-yay! You did it Morty!” Rick tipped the back of the chair backwards as he knelt down, grabbing the notepad from Morty, looking the numbers over.


“Hmm....Well, this Rick obviously lives near the Horse-head nebula...” He'd scratch his chin, walking to his shelf as he rifled through a few of his inventions.


“W...what are you planning on doing, R-rick?”


He'd give a disgruntled sigh as he turned around, looking to Morty.


“Where's that Meeseeks box?”


“Oh! I put it up so my dad wouldn't be tempted to summon another one..” Sitting up, he would walk to the door in cue.


“I'll be back.”


Rick nodded, walking to his desk as he set the pad of paper down, rubbing his hands together.


Morty returned a few minutes later, a small box clasped between his hands. Looking up, he would hand it off.


“Alright M-Morty. I need a few hours alone.”


“B-but Rick...” His voice slowly drifted off sadly as Rick would shoot him a glare.




That was more than enough to get the youth to turn, his head down. He knew there was no reasoning with him.




Walking past the living room, something caught his attention as Morty's jaw dropped.


His mom was sitting on Ethan's lap, gazing into his eyes, his hands placed directly on her ass. A lock of blond hair was twirled around her finger as she spoke.


“You know, usually Morty runs off with Rick for hours at a time...and with Jerry getting this new job...”


“Not my business.” Morty would turn on heel, walking back to Rick.


“Hey, c-can I take the ship?”


“What for?” Rick glanced over his shoulder, glaring, his hand hovering over the button. His coat would already be covered in splotches.


“Don't go in the living room. And you don't want me here....Maybe I can go to like...I dunno...Blips and Chitz...” He would rub the back of his neck sadly. Rick would look down to the box as he pressed the button.




“Hey Mr. Meeseeks, can you go with my grandson to Blips and Chitz for the day and make sure he has a good time?”


“I don't need a babysitter, Rick!”


“OOOOHHH EEEE! CAN DOOOOO!” The Meeseeks would excitedly hop around as he picked Morty up.


“C'mon paaaaaaaaaaal, you ready to have some fuuuuuuuuuuuun?”


“Oh God no...” Morty struggled from the grasp as he looked up to his grandfather.


“Take the Meeseeks, M-morty. Their life is one of pain. Give them a fun time.”


Inside the ship, Morty glared defiantly at the Meeseeks in the passenger seat. Great. This plan just got that much harder.


“You ready to have a good tiiiiiiiiiime?”


“Y-yeah.” Morty would buckle up as he turned on the radio. Pulling up and out of the stratosphere, he would pause, looking left, right and up for any asteroids, ships or floating debris before pulling into the open space, piloting forward.


“Aw jeez, this is a lot harder than actually driving a car...”


“You're doing fine, Morty!” the Meeseeks would nod approvingly.


Morty would tap a few buttons on the side as he drove forward.


“Hey Meeseeks, do you mind if we take a small detour?” He would look to the blue creature who would be looking out, starry-eyed at the planets.


“Nope! Your grandfather said Blips and Chitz, he didn't say anywhere else!”


“I know, but I was thinking we could pick up a friend...or at least drive over and invite one, y-you know? M-might be nice, being a Meeseeks' whole existence is pain, you know?”


“Well, I think that would be okay!” Meeseeks would bounce a bit more, looking over.


Rick pushed the button again, another Meeseeks popping out.


“Hi I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at -”


“Can it. Thoughts on intimidating someone?”


“I can't do that!”




He'd ready his gun, shooting a laser blast through the Meeseeks.


This was going to be a long night.


“Ooh ee, so who's this friiiiiiiiiiiiend?” The Meeseeks looked up to the large ship before them, Morty's eyes half-closed as he dialed in to comms.


“Rick, we've told you, Unity is not interested in -”


“H-hi Beta-7. It's me!” Morty would smile, waving some as the unified life forms would look up, surprised.


“Oh, hello! Morty was it?”


“Y-yeah...I um...I need to talk to you and Unity about something...” He would hold a hopeful look in his gaze as he leaned in. “C-can we land? My ship's running out of fuel...It's just me and a Meeseeks...”


“Hi there Mortys friend!” It would lean over, waving enthusiastically.


Beta-7 would look among itself, all of them nodding in agreement.


The ship would open up its docking bay as Morty landed. Climbing out, he was greeted by two light blue skinned females, and three Beta-7's.


“Greetings Morty!” Beta would smile a half smile as Unity would give him a hug, Morty's face breaking into a smile.


“Hey um...” As they walked, Meeseeks would look around in awe, commenting about the structure, almost like a child.


“Oooh! How fast do the thrusters go?!”


“Very fast.” one of Beta-7 would respond.


“Have you ever been in any battles with it?”


“No.” It would reply to Meeseeks, a bit more annoyed.


“Does it have weeeeeeeeapons?”

“Yes. Big ones.” Beta-7 would glare at the Meeseeks as three Unitys glared back at Beta. “Um. I mean...Yes. Very, very big guns, little – guy?” Beta chuckled nervously as they continued on.


“Grandpa Rick isn't doing too good...” Morty would ring his hands some as he looked around the ship. “He's been diagnosed with a human disorder that basically makes you forget everything...And everyone...” Morty would look back to Unity who would all stand there, eyes wide.


“I...see...” She would look down sadly as she looked to Beta-7. “Can...we talk to Morty alone please?”




“Beta-7. Alone.


“Yes dear.” He would slump away dejectedly, Unity's attention back to Morty.


“Why are you telling me this?” Unity's gaze was soft, kind. Morty's eyes were low as he sighed.


“W-well...I was hoping you could explain a few things to me a...about why Rick is acting like he is...B...but I need to know you're not going to judge him for what I'm about to say.”


“Listen to me, Morty...” Unity would gently brush her fingers through his hair. “We love Rick. Always have, and always will. We could never judge him.”


“Well...Him and I are dating.”


Her face dropped from the kind, motherly tone as she arched up.


“O...kayyyyyyy....” her face pent in a slight confused matter. Maybe dating meant something else on Earth.


“And the other day he had me...Well....Have sex with him...” he brushed the back of his head at the awkward phrasing “And...he wouldn't look at me. Wouldn't make eye contact. Did...did something happen between you two?”


Unity's eyes widened as she would bring a hand to her lips, a soft gasp coming from her form.


“I um...Wow...Y...well...” She would look to Morty's ship.


“I...think I need to see Rick. Personally.”


“Aww, but we never got to go to Blips and Chitz!” the Meeseeks would pull on it's skin as it looked up to the ship.


“Okay. First Blips and Chitz, then we go see Rick.”