“Sometimes I think you want to eat me,” Jason said, examining a mark on his stomach, still wet from Tim’s mouth. It was purple and red and pretty, and soft around the edges; a flower petal blown off the stem during a rainstorm, clinging damply to Jason’s skin.
Some days, Tim didn’t think about it. Like today, a rare, lazy Sunday morning, free of responsibilities waiting for them beyond the bedroom door. When Jason had woken up, Tim had already been waiting for him, watching for the moment his breathing changed.
And then it’d come back to him all at once, a whisper in the wind suddenly a scream. That this thing between them was a secret. Had been, for several months. The weight of so much possibility clung to each passing glance, each casual touch, exhilarating and terrible.
Tim didn’t answer. Instead, he bent his head over one of the scars near Jason’s hipbone and bit down.
“Jesus,” Jason huffed out, bookended by a curse word or two. Something vulgar that made his pouty lips look indelicate in the handsome cut of his face.
“Does that mean you want me to stop?” Tim’s lips ghosted over one of Jason’s nipples, his body jerking under the ticklish, teasing pressure.
“No.” Jason’s head was thrown back and the tendons in his neck were straining against soft, dewy skin. Watching Jason like this was Tim’s favorite thing, a narrow opening into the locked pleasures of Jason’s mind; a sliver of blue moonlight spilling into a barren bedroom.
“Beautiful,” Tim huffed between the valley of Jason’s collarbones.
A startled gasp.
Tim lifted his head fully to stare at Jason’s half-lidded eyes. In answer, he brought his hands up, soft palms and callused fingers, to cup the sides of Tim’s face. Thumbs stroked over Tim’s cheekbones, making his skin warm.
“What do you want?” Tim asked, ducking his head so he could rub his lips against Jason’s wrist. He could feel Jason’s pulse ripple quickly beneath his touch, feel the surge of Jason’s own blood rolling up to greet his mouth. Later, Tim would seek the full tide of Jason’s longing.
Ordinarily, Tim considered himself a reasonable, practical person. The mundanities of his daily persona wrapped up tightly in a sharp-looking suit, rigid manners and tightly contained boredom. Yes, to this investment. No to lunch in Park West, even with the view of Gotham River and the surrounding highrises. Push the level 20 elevator button to his top-floor office; push ground when it was time to leave.
But he’d learned something new about himself these past few months. The carefully constructed control he’d painstakingly built over the years was dust in the wind of Jason’s hitched breaths.
“I want...,” Jason sighed, pulling Tim’s face closer to capture his lips briefly. “You could do anything.”
His voice was a lightning strike on Tim’s body, all scorched skin and explosive power. He yielded to Jason’s kiss until the words blossomed into something too raw and dangerous to name, leaving the taste of smoke on his tongue.
That nameless, voiceless feeling that roiled in Tim’s gut every time Jason gave himself up so sweetly made the lying and the sneaking around worth it.
Tim moved down the bed until he was between Jason’s legs and ran his palms up and down the powerful muscles of Jason’s thighs, stirring the light dusting of downy hair there.
“Anything, he says,” Tim mocked softly, his hands stilling on Jason’s knees, his lips skimming the taunt, thin skin just below Jason’s bellybutton. “Where's your sense of self preservation?”
“With that mouth?” Jason laughed, the sound sliding like warm honey down Tim’s spine. “I’d be stupid to give you less.”
Tim smiled, settling down more comfortably between Jason’s legs. He could still remember the first time they’d done this, hurried and frantic, both too desperate for it to even fully undress. It had felt like drowning, like being pulled down by deep, dark water.
You’re lips are going to end me, Jason had said against his mouth. You wreck me completely.
When Tim pulled back the thin white comforter from his waist, Jason was wonderfully naked. His cock was hard, thick and pretty, curved against one hip.
“Anything,” Tim repeated, pretending to think. Pretending like he hadn’t already imagined forty different ways to fuck Jason since he first opened his eyes, each passing thought more intoxicating than that last.
“I have some ideas,” Jason volunteered, his voice low and promising. “If you’re having a hard time.”
“Would that turn you on?” Tim asked, sliding further up Jason’s thighs. “Me doing whatever you say?”
Jason’s strong fingers twisted gently in Tim’s hair. “I’m already turned on.”
“Very perceptive, Detective.” Jason stretched, trying to bring his hips back into contact with Tim’s heat. “Gonna read me my rights next?”
“Why?” Tim asked, before his mouth found the soft skin on Jason’s inner thigh. “Have you done something bad?”
“Not unless being insanely hot is suddenly against the law.” Tim could hear the smirk in Jason’s voice and the rough lilt of his words.
“I think there’s an arms dealer cuffed to a bed in Gotham General with a busted kneecap and a few missing teeth who might disagree.”
Last night’s fight flashed across Tim’s closed eyes, his cheek flush against Jason’s lap. Red Hood refusing to call in for backup. Tim slinking through the perimeter to catch the worst of the action. He could still smell the sulfur and the smoke from the explosions, see the flames licking at Jason’s back, hear the crack of Jason's gun against sharp teeth. All that flashing, angry red.
“He had it coming, ahh,” Jason sighed when Tim’s nose nuzzled the crease of his thigh. “Do that again.”
“Hmm,” Tim considered, pulling away again. “Sounds like a solid alibi.”
Jason groaned. “Are we gonna play cops and robbers all day? Because I left the handcuffs at my place and my guns already cocked, baby.”
Tim grinned and pressed one palm against Jason’s shaft, making him gasp, a pleasant, needy sound that made Tim’s mouth dry.
“Yeah, like that.” Jason’s fingers moved through Tim’s hair, pushing his bangs away from his forehead so he could get a better view of Tim’s lips on his cock.
Tim opened his mouth, dragging it wetly back up Jason’s length. When he reached the head, he swirled his tongue around the tip, tasting every part of Jason. He sucked teasingly and licked, and then trailed kisses back to the base of Jason’s cock. Slowly, Tim repeated the movement, up and down, several times, until Jason was begging him for more. The sound of Tim’s name was a desperate cry, stretched out and fuzzy like Jason was drunk and too turned on to get his tongue under control.
Jason’s hands were tugging at Tim’s hair, making him feel light-headed and warm and wanted, so he sucked all of Jason into his mouth with a moan of his own. He knew how he looked, pink lips stretched around Jason’s perfect cock, hungry for it.
“Jesus, Tim. That fucking mouth.”
Tim’s saliva pooled against Jason’s groin, and he felt it on his chin each time his mouth bobbed up and down Jason’s cock.
“Suck it. Yeah, like that.” Jason’s hips jerked beneath him.
Tim’s hand came up to cup Jason’s balls, and he held them between his fingers, squeezing gently with each wet suck, increasing the speed and pressure of his mouth.
“Please. I’m gonna come, baby. Please, Tim.”
Jason’s hips were thrusting up into Tim’s mouth now, meeting his movements with barely restrained desperation.
In answer, Tim slid one finger down, behind Jason’s balls. It grazed gently against Jason’s hole, and that was the end. Jason moaned into his release, his hips jerking wildly against Tim’s lips. The burnt match, dirty taste of Jason filled up Tim’s mouth, a flicker of fire and heat rushing down to his belly.
After, Jason pulled him up for a wet kiss, and Tim felt out of control and so full of feeling that he was glad for a moment that they had this thing all to themselves. He setted on top of Jason, pressed his mouth to the purple-red mark he’d left earlier and pressed down with his tongue.
He was hard and he wanted to fuck Jason, but it felt good to be cradled against Jason’s body. After a moment, Jason’s hand moved to tease at Tim’s cock, his fingers dancing lightly across his shaft. Sunlight filled the room, streaming through Tim’s burgundy curtains and making the room a golden-hued red.
Jason’s hand moved down to grip Tim’s thigh and his thumb stroked against his skin. “I have to tell you something.”
Tim stretched out across Jason’s chest, his fingers following a bruised path up his sternum. “Okay.”
“Uh,” Jason paused. His voice sounded unsure and careful, making Tim look up.
“What is it?” Unease prickled at the back of Tim’s neck.
“I told Dick about us.”
Everything around them was red.
“You told Dick about us.” Tim repeated, dumbly.
Jason didn’t say anything. His mouth was shut in a tight line and his eyes were distant.
“I mean, it’s okay if you did,” Tim said quickly, worried suddenly, irrationally, that he’d let the silence stretch between them too long.
“Well…” Tim’s voice drifted, not sure of the answer. “What did he say?”
“He called me a stubborn idiot,” Jason said quietly.
“Yeah?” Tim couldn’t breath. Something hopeful was budding in his chest, and he had the wild urge to laugh.
“And then he wouldn’t stop hugging me for fifteen minutes.”
And then, Tim did laugh. “Sounds terrifying.”
“It was,” Jason agreed and the corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile. His hand moved against Tim’s leg, drifting higher and higher until he was cradling the back of Tim’s head. “But I’m glad.”
“Yeah?” Tim breathed, and leaned into the touch.
They were quiet for a moment. Tim’s bedroom looked normal again, sunny and warm, the sounds of early morning city traffic floating in from the window.
“He also said I should be careful,” Jason added.
“That you could ruin me.”
“He did?” Tim asked, surprised. Even more surprising was the faint, pleasant tingling at the base of his spine. He liked the way that sounded.
You wreck me completely.
Tim thought about Jason and what they’d just done. How he had looked so tangled up with need, the ocean of desire just under Jason’s skin breaking at the touch of Tim’s mouth. That helpless yearning, that desperation for release.
Wasn’t that what it felt like to ruin someone?
“Yes.” Jason smiled sharply, running a thumb over Tim’s lips, as if he could read his thoughts. “I could ruin you, too.”
Wasn’t ruin just another word for love?
They’d been sneaking around for months, but it hadn’t ever felt like something to be ashamed of -- quite the opposite, in fact. It’d felt like something fragile, something that needed to be protected.
“Dick really said that?” Tim said, avoiding Jason’s eyes. “He’s getting pretty observant in his old age.”
Jason shrugged. “I don’t think we’ve been very careful.”
Tim flushed all the way down his chest. “Do you think everyone knows –”
“– that I love you?” Jason interrupted, his fingers pressing against Tim’s chin, thoughtful, strong. “No, I don’t think so. I think that’s just between us, for now.”
Tim swallowed, his eyes flickering back up to Jason’s face at the sudden admission. Jason had never said that. They’d never said that to each other. “You love me?”
“Yes,” Jason said. It was tender, the raw and quiet power of Jason’s voice. The unasked question hung at the edge of his breath.
“Love you,” Tim said, but the words were stolen and swallowed up by Jason’s lips.