You blink carefully awake, warm and safe between your matespirits.
Karkat is curled into a ball in your arms, drool on the pillow beneath his head, leg twitching from a dream.
Gamzee is sprawled overtop the both of you, his unruly hair getting in your face, and snoring into your own hair.
You couldn’t be happier.
(not even if you were watching a Nicholas Cage movie and drinking Faygo.)
As you lay there, careful not to move and wake them up, -Karkat is a light sleeper who if you whisper his name in the same room as he, he’ll wake up and Gamzee, well he doesn’t wake up till Karkat yells,(says it’s how he keeps Karkat as calm as possible in the morning, he paps him quiet)- you think of how you got here, between them, warm and happy.
A first boy kiss from Dave and a first girl kiss from Vriska and neither made you happy so you tried it a relationship with Dave, hoping it would work.
Shaking your head, you dispel those painful thoughts and focus on the here and now and here and now is the best place to be after battling Jack Noir’s imps and creatures and monsters.
Losing Gamzee to the madness and nearly losing Karkat to the same darkness…nearly tore out your heart.
Unconsciously you tighten your grip on Karkat, making him whimper as he wakes.
“John? What’s happening? Is everyone okay? Do I have to flip the fuck out on someone? What the fuck is going on here?” He slurs, still hazy with sleep, the longest sleep he has gotten in a while.
“No. Shoosh. Go back to sleep.” You whisper, feeling the happy glow you felt earlier fading slightly. “Don’t wake Gamzee. Just go back to sleep.”
“Yeah my motherfucking brother, just go back ta sleep. It’s far too early for us ta be motherfucking awake.”
“Sorry Gamzee. Didn’t mean to wake you.” You sigh as he nuzzles into your hair and Karkat looks up at you sleepily.
“It’s all motherfucking good, brother. If I have ta be awake ta get Karbro asleep, then so be it. But first let me get motherfucking sit-u-ated.” The taller troll says, before rolling over and pinning Karkat between you two.
Smiling, you wrap both of your arms around Karkat and draw him in close. As Karkat squirms in your arms, Gamzee comes up behind him and bends to fit around the much shorter troll, face pressed into the cancer’s hair.
“Stop it. You’re squishing me.” Karkat whines, nuzzling against your chest.
“Shoosh, shoosh, shoosh. Just relax and go back to sleep, you don’t have any leading to do. Not here. Not between us.” You say softly, pressing kisses to his head.
As you did so, Gamzee smiles and paps his hair and horns and face, or what little isn’t buried in your chest.
“We’ll be right here when you wake up. Don’t you motherfucking worry about a damned thing.” Gamzee murmurs as Karkat slowly falls back asleep.
Soon after Gamzee has finished speaking the only thing to be heard is Karkat and his light snoring. However, you can feel Gamzee’s eyes on you.
“Talk ta me motherfucker. Do we need ta have a feelings jam right here and now? We can always move ta the horn pile if ya want?” Gamzee asks carefully and quietly.
“Nah I’m good. Just woke up thinking bad thoughts, thoughts about the past that I can’t change. Not that I would want to. Just thinking.” You say softly.
“Time for thinking is over my friend, time for motherfucking sleep. Do I have ta shoosh and pap you taa?” Gamzee asks as he links your hand with his much larger one, resting the both of them on Karkat’s head.
“…Yes please… I can’t get my thoughts to stop racing. I’d like to get back to sleep.” You ask sheepishly, looking away from him.
“Ain’t nothing ta be ashamed about. Everyone needs a good shoosh-pap-feelings jam now and again.” He says, already in the process of petting your hair and simply smiling and you feel yourself relax almost as soon as he puts his hand on your head.
“Thanks Gamzee. Don’t forget to go back to sleep yourself.” You say sleepily, struggling to finish your conversation with your beloved matespirit.
“Don’t you worry about a motherfucking thing. It don’t take me much ta get ta sleep so you just shoosh and sleep. You both got some serious leadering ta do in the morning. Rest.” Gamzee says as your eyes fall shut. You can just hear the smile in his voice and you smile because his smile is quite lovely, like Karkat’s, though you rarely see the cancer’s smile.
“Stop thinking. Take the shoosh and the pap and go ta sleep.”
“Night Gamzee. Love you.”
“I love you taa Johnny-boy. I love you taa Karbro.” As he says that, you feel his lips brush your head and you just know that he just did the same to Karkat, by the way Karkat squirms around in your grasp.
And with warm and fuzzy thoughts in your head, you fall back asleep safe in your matespirits grasp, to Gamzee humming a lullaby.